Chapitre 6: Valentine's Day: Part 1
"Alright, that's enough. Let go of me already..."
Shinji squirmed, unable to disentangle himself from the surprisingly strong arms wound tightly around him. He let out a sound of displeasure, half-heartedly pushing away the head pressed against his neck.
"I've only just started, Shinji, that's not fair."
Shinji closed his eyes as that muffled voice buzzed against his neck. He sighed heavily, relaxing his body, and dropping his arm onto the bed, defeated.
"Fine... whatever. But I'm getting up soon, got it?"
At those words, Kaworu hummed contentedly, lightly kissing his neck. Shinji almost wanted to tell him off, able to feel him smirking into the kiss. It was unbelievable how he was even annoying when he wasn't talking. Instead, he just turned his head up a little more, giving himself up to the kisses Kaworu was now peppering along his skin. He tried his best to hold back any signs of enjoyment, not wanting to encourage his assailant too much, though it was difficult; his neck was practically his weakest point, and Kaworu was thoroughly taking advantage of that.
His eyes slid guiltily over to the dining table, where he'd dropped off his schoolbag. He'd told himself it was a dumb idea to come home with Kaworu after school, yet he'd done it anyways. It was a school night, and he had a good pile of homework waiting for him. He knew full well that if he came to Kaworu's, he wouldn't get any work done, and he was cursing himself for ignoring that and acting like he'd totally get it done this time.
It was always the same. Every time Kaworu managed to convince Shinji to come visit on a school night - usually by incessant whining and pouting - the latter would just end up being dragged off to the bed where he'd be doted over by the most distracting person in the universe for who knew how long. Much like now.
Shinji had barely even walked through the door and dropped off his bag when Kaworu had tugged him over to the bed, promptly and shamelessly falling on top of his body to attend to him.
Shinji sighed again. Kaworu clicked his tongue.
"Don't act all angry with me. I haven't gotten to cuddle you in forever."
Shinji rolled his eyes. "A week, Kaworu. That's not forever."
Kaworu hummed. "I don't care... it feels like forever."
Shinji squirmed again as Kaworu teasingly nipped at his jaw.
"You're so clingy..." he muttered closing his eyes, though he raised a hand to the back of his silver head, too tempted to feel its softness to resist.
Kaworu smirked. "And I know how much you love that..."
Shinji bit back any kind of retort. He wasn't in the mood to argue just now. Suddenly though, he twitched and opened his eyes.
"H-Hey! Hands above the waist!"
Kaworu's hands, which had unconsciously drifted down to Shinji's hips quickly jumped back up to rest on either side of his body. Shinji felt himself blush as Kaworu pressed an apologetic kiss to his cheek, before continuing his loving assault on his neck.
He willed himself not to feel embarrassed, but it wasn't easy. They had been together for a little while now, so he felt kind of dumb getting so worked up over Kaworu simply touching his body, especially since he knew he didn't really have any unsavory intentions. Yet it still made his stomach twist into nervous knots whenever those pale hands strayed too far.
He shook his head lightly, before focusing his eyes on the fluffy hair currently forcing his head up, and he ran his fingers slowly through the strands which reached his shoulders. Unconsciously, he moved the hair covering his ear out of the way, so that he could see the shiny, black stud attached to it.
Kaworu had recently gotten his ears pierced, an action which had thoroughly confused Shinji at the time, who couldn't really see the appeal of getting that done as a guy. When asked why he'd done it, Kaworu simply shrugged, saying he thought it'd look pretty. And after seeing him with earrings in, Shinji had to admit that he was right.
He wasn't so sure why, but there was something about seeing those studs partially obscured by his hair that Shinji liked. It made him even more attractive in a way, although, he wished all the girls at school didn't agree with the sentiment, because they seemed to admire the new additions just like he did. In Shinji's opinion, he was getting much too popular for his own good.
He lightly stroked the back of his head. "It's getting so long... you should probably get a haircut soon," he murmured.
Kaworu broke away from his neck, leaning into Shinji's hand with a sigh. "You don't like it long?"
Shinji watched the grey fluff fall from his fingers. "It's softer when it's short. And it takes longer to brush like this."
Kaworu laughed mischievously, pulling back to look down at Shinji. "That's my whole plan. If I let it grow out, you'll have to spend longer brushing it."
Shinji gave him an irritated look. "Don't push it, Kaworu. You're lucky I even brush it at all. You should be able to do it yourself."
Kaworu whined a little, head falling into his chest. "But it feels so heavenly; I couldn't live without you doing it."
Shinji shook his head. "Why do I even bother with you..."
Kaworu raised himself to pout at him. "Because I'm your boyfriend, Shinji."
Shinji sighed, feeling himself redden. Even though he had mostly gotten over the fact that he was dating a guy, he still felt a little funny whenever he considered it too much. To think that after all this time being single, he'd end up having a boyfriend...
Sometimes, he thought of what his past self would do if he found out he'd end up getting all cozy and cuddly with that red-eyed weirdo he met in the auditorium. He'd probably be beyond mortified.
Of course, it wasn't an all-around unpleasant thought. He was just as happy dating his grey-haired companion as he had been when they first kissed weeks and weeks ago. He still got all giddy and smiley when he remembered that first night they'd spent together under the stars. It was all so wonderfully perfect.
It was just too bad it was also so complicated.
Shinji didn't care that they were both boys anymore - not in the slightest. But the only reason his mind still lingered on that fact was because other people didn't share his nonchalantness. As much as he wished he didn't, Shinji really cared about what other people thought of him. He knew full well that if everyone knew he was dating a guy, they'd talk. He could almost hear the whispered gossiping and feel the pointed stares of his classmates, and just thinking about it made him anxious.
He wished he could talk about his relationship. He'd love nothing more than to open up about something that made him so incredibly happy, but he just couldn't find the courage to do it. Although, he knew Kaworu didn't feel the same. Just as with everything else, he seemed totally relaxed and comfortable with the prospect of revealing that he had a boyfriend. Shinji knew that for a fact.
He could remember how his stomach had dropped when Kaworu so casually mentioned to him that he'd told Rei they were together. Kaworu didn't seem to really understand Shinji's agitation at the time. That was one of those moments where Shinji had to reflect on how unusual he was. It would be obvious to any other person why their relationship was so taboo, yet he couldn't seem to fully wrap his head around it.
"But we're happy together," he'd said with a frown. "Honestly, it's all so ridiculous. I've never understood why people would think it's weird." He crossed his arms. "Humans are meant to bond with each other, after all. What's the big deal?"
Even despite his indignation, he'd hesitantly agreed to Shinji's plea that he not tell anyone else about their relationship, and he was grateful for it. Sometimes though, he'd wonder what it would be like if the whole school knew that the most coveted pretty boy in the place was happily taken by a random nobody from class 2-A.
Even if he'd resolved not to tell anyone about their relationship, he occasionally felt that resolve crack whenever he had to listen to girls flirt with Kaworu right behind him in class. It wasn't a question of Kaworu's loyalty; he knew his affection was all reserved for him. It was much more the fact that they could so openly show their affection while he had to keep it hidden. He was bitter. Every girlish laugh and little touch they directed towards his partner felt like personal attacks - little gloating jeers that he couldn't shake off.
Sometimes, he wildly thought about turning around and just kissing Kaworu to prove a point. To show them that he was his, not theirs. He'd like to see their faces. But of course, he'd never really do that. He'd simply clench his jaw and listen to Kaworu gently put them down, thinking irritatingly that he wasn't nearly firm enough as he should be.
He could usually put those thoughts away, but the much more pressing matter was the guilt he felt at not sharing this development with his friends. Sure, most of the kids at school didn't truly matter to him, but he'd neglected to tell even his closest friends that he was currently in a serious relationship with a guy.
Mostly, he was afraid of what they'd think. He could barely picture Toji's and Kensuke's reactions, and he felt nearly one hundred percent sure that Asuka would take the news really badly. She wasn't the most accepting person when it came to things that were out of the ordinary. Still though, he did feel guilty. He wanted to tell them, really, he did... but it was just so very daunting. He just wished more than anything that the stigma of two guys dating didn't exist. It'd make things so much easier...
A particularly pleasant shiver brought Shinji back to his surroundings, and he registered the feel of Kaworu's mouth on one of his many sweet spots. He gave a little gasp, cursing the sound as Kaworu lovingly sucked at his skin. After a moment, he pulled back to look down.
"You really are adorable, you know," he smirked.
Shinji blushed. "Shut up..."
Kaworu sighed, bringing up a hand to rub the side of his face. He closed his eyes, feeling too overwhelmed to keep looking at the boy above him at that.
"Just as rude as ever, aren't you?" He snickered. "No matter. I'm sure I'll get plenty of attention from you soon enough. You know what tomorrow is...?" he sang in a low voice.
Shinji opened his eyes again to look at him, his face was merely a few inches away. "Tuesday...?" he said, wearily.
Kaworu pouted and made a little noise of discontent. "Don't play dumb, Shinji."
He sighed, once more turning his head to look at his neglected schoolbag. "I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered evasively.
Kaworu clicked his tongue again, forcing Shinji's head back to look at him. "Valentine's Day, Shinji; that's what tomorrow is. Aaand you know what that means?" he asked happily.
Without waiting for a response, he smiled widely. "It means you have to be nice to me. You'll have to let me pamper you for hours and hours, and I'll get to hear you tell me all about how much you love me... it'll be so fun," he trilled.
He leaned down to his ear, whispering, "I simply can't wait."
Shinji sucked in a breath, suddenly flustered. Then, recognizing that the other boy's grip on him had loosened, he squirmed, pushing his chest back with both hands. Kaworu let out a little noise of surprise as he tried balancing himself, and Shinji quickly extricated his legs, thankful that he was so light. As Shinji stood, he turned back to meet Kaworu's pout. He flopped back onto the bed.
"Shinjiii-"
"I don't wanna hear it." Kaworu turned his head to stare moodily at him. Shinji pointed back at him as he walked to the dining table. "You leave me alone and let me work, or else I'm leaving."
Kaworu continued to pout as Shinji determinedly pulled his papers from his bag, not looking at him. He still felt those piercing eyes on him as an exasperated sigh fall from his mouth.
"I don't know why you bother coming if you're not even going to pay attention to me." Shinji rolled his eyes at his would-be-casual tone.
"Don't even go there. I told you I'd do homework if I came, and you didn't seem to care at all. You can't complain."
Kaworu scoffed into his pillow, still looking sulky. "Yes, well I didn't really think you were serious..."
As Shinji shook his head tiredly, he sat to start on his workload, noticing a certain black, fluffy someone slink out from the kitchen in the corner of his eye.
"Oh, Tabby! Come here, my sweet boy!" Kaworu cooed, his sulk completely wiped away.
Shinji heard Tabris chirp before leaping onto his bed. Kaworu let out a happy contented hum, and Shinji tried as hard as he could to focus on the paper he was supposed to be reading rather than the tempting sounds coming from his left.
He furrowed his brow in concentration, trying to tune out Tabris' purr and Kaworu's continued murmurs.
"Aren't you just the most precious little thing? Aww, yes you areee..."
Shinji set his jaw. He knew Kaworu was playing up those affectionate tones to wind him up and force him back into bed, but he wouldn't let it work. At least... he'd try not to let it work.
After a few minutes of struggling through with his reading, he chances a glance at the bed, trying to get an eye-full under the guise of shooting Kaworu an irritated look. He wished he hadn't.
The sight of Kaworu smiling softly as he held Tabris' fluffy body in his arms, his own fluffy hair splayed over the pillow as he scritched the cat behind the ears was beyond taunting. He stared as he kissed Tabris on the head, feeling a traitorous pang of longing. What he wouldn't do to walk over right now and cuddle them both...
He shook his head, tearing his eyes away from the horribly sweet scene, trying not to think about Kaworu's little nicknames for his cat and how he wished shamefully that they were directed towards himself.
As if Kaworu had read his mind, he stroked Tabris happily, speaking to him. "Grumpy, old Shinji-kun doesn't want my cuddles, so they're all for you. What a shame for him..."
Shinji could've snapped his pencil with the tight grip he was using on it to write out his answers, holding his forehead in his palm. 'Smug jerk...'
After a few more minutes of struggling, he somehow managed to complete the first assignment, already feeling much too unmotivated to continue. He bit his lip, then defeatedly got up, shoving his folders back into his bag.
"Whatever... I'll just finish it at h-" he stopped speaking, catching sight of Kaworu.
He was lying on his side, arm draped over his hip, the other propping up his head with a palm as he smirked, half-lidded eyes focused intently on him. He looked unbearably pleased.
"Oh?" he asked innocently, "Something distracting you from your work, my dear?"
Shinji could've thrown something at him. Instead, he just glared. What in the world was he even doing? Kaworu dropped his smirk as he continued to glare, and he moved out of the ridiculous position.
"You can glare all you want, but could you at least indulge me a little? I've been pining for days..." His voice grew quieter, and he turned his head a little into the pillow, still looking at Shinji. His gaze weakened as it met Kaworu's begging eyes.
Looking away from them, he met Tabris' yellow eyes instead, watching him knead the blankets and purr, looking as though he was trying to convince Shinji to come closer too.
He gave in at last, walking forward as Kaworu excitedly lifted his head, making more room for him on the bed.
"Fine... but seriously, I have to get going soon."
Kaworu immediately wrapped himself around Shinji, kissing him on the cheek. "Then I'll enjoy this while it lasts..."
Shinji relaxed into his arms, letting him snuggle closer. At least this distraction was effective enough to push away his guilty consciousness regarding his homework, he thought, hugging him back with a sigh.
In some ways, he was happy to have such an affectionate partner. He'd never realized that he could like physical touch so much, considering how he always felt so uncomfortable with it usually. He really did enjoy being pampered like this, although he'd never admit it.
Sometimes, Kaworu was even over-affectionate. Shinji noticed that he'd developed the rather embarrassing habit of simply staring at his face for long amounts of time. Whenever they cuddled, Kaworu would always pull back at some point just enough so he could stare at his brown-haired partner for a while. His eyes would move all around, seemingly taking in every single little detail they could, and Shinji didn't think he could ever truly get used to it. Usually, he'd allow Kaworu to admire him until he got too flustered and told him to stop. Although, Shinji suspected that if he never told him to stop, Kaworu might've kept at it for hours, and the thought was quite as embarrassing as it was sweet.
Then, Shinji wearily remembered the first time he'd plucked up the courage to try kissing him more deeply. Kaworu had accidentally bitten his tongue in his overexcitement, which had led to a painfully teary-eyed condemnation on Shinji's part, spoken through a numb mouth.
Recognizing a warm softness brush against his hand, Shinji looked down to see Tabris curling up next to them, and he stroked his fluffy fur.
He'd gotten a lot bigger since they first found him in the snow. Under Kaworu's loving care, he'd grown from a weak, little, short-haired kitten to a wonderfully luxurious, fluffy cat. He was a vibrating ball of warmth and softness that Shinji almost liked to cuddle even more than Kaworu, and he was about as touchy as his owner too. Honestly, it was hard enough keeping up with one of them, let alone both at the same time. Neither of them could ever seem to satiate their hunger for affection.
And so, when Shinji left maybe half an hour later, he could hear the gentle longing in Kaworu's goodbye, punctuated by Tabris rubbing himself sinuously around Shinji's legs just before he walked out the door.
Later that night, when he'd finally completed all his homework and laid down in his bed, he listened to his SDAT in the dark, finding it hard to sleep. He kept tossing and turning, brain much too active to quiet down.
Tomorrow was a pretty big day. As his partner had so kindly reminded him, it was Valentine's Day, something which he'd been anxious to go through for a couple weeks now.
He knew the school day wouldn't be easy to get through. There were bound to be more girls floating around, kissing up to Kaworu than usual, and on top of that he was pretty certain he'd be faced with unknowingly awkward questions and comments about how he didn't have a girlfriend yet. He could already hear Asuka taunting him.
He'd never really liked the day in the past. Before now, he'd always been single, merely ignoring most of the festivities, feeling a little depressed by the fact that he couldn't participate. Now though, he did have a reason to participate, and yet he couldn't even do it out in the open. He'd have to do it away from prying eyes and pretend that - just as every year before - he didn't have someone to spend it with. It was almost funny, in a twisted, sad kind of way.
He huffed, turning onto his side. He'd also been worried because he hadn't really planned ahead for tomorrow. He didn't have anything special prepared for Kaworu. All he'd done was pick up a present for him... and he couldn't even commend himself for that because he'd realized just how lame it was today. At this point, it was a little late to go back and get him something else, but he regretted not simply sticking with anything ordinary like flowers or chocolates or whatever. Kaworu probably wouldn't have a use for the gift he'd gotten... and he'd really prefer not to be embarrassed when he finally gave it to him later.
Then, of course, there was the most pressing worry. He and Kaworu had been working on it for nearly a month now. They were performing together at the school the night of the fourteenth. They'd been practicing the pieces over and over - Shinji on his cello, Kaworu on the piano - synchronizing with each other, perfecting the melodies, and even though Shinji was sure mentally that he knew them all by heart now, physically, the very idea of playing them in front of so many people kind of made him want to throw up.
It was far too late to back out now - he knew that. But he'd never performed in front of anyone before, so the prospect of performing in front of what must be at least a few hundred people was something he was wildly unprepared for. He felt like the second he got on stage and Kaworu queued him, he'd simply freeze up and forget it all. He shut his eyes tightly at the thought, feeling his stomach twist horribly. It was a stupid thought, he told himself, but it still clung to the back of his mind anyway.
He opened his eyes to look over at his clock, inwardly cursing himself as he read the glowing face. 12:30 AM.
He sighed, resolutely hugging his pillow to his face. He had to get to sleep. With the prospect of tomorrow - or today now, he supposed unhappily, considering the time - looming over him, he knew that being deathly tired would do all but make it more bearable.
It'd all be fine, he told himself, letting out a gentle breath.
Everything will be absolutely fine.
...
Just as usual, Shinji entered class the next day early, struggling to keep his posture straight as he walked, blinking his tired eyes. Of course, Hikari was already there, seemingly organizing her notes on her desk. She looked up when Shinji entered, smiling at him, and offering a pleasant greeting. Greeting her back, he slid into his seat, momentarily considering how funny it was that she was always so much nicer to everyone else than she was to Toji, even though they were dating. Then he recognized that he basically did the same thing with his own partner. Weird how it always seemed to work out that way, he thought.
As if on cue, his thoughts were interrupted by a familiar, loud voice.
"Yo, how you doin,' Ikari?"
Shinji blinked up at Toji as he entered. Smiling, he waved acknowledgingly, still feeling a bit slow from his tiredness.
He watched Toji make his way over to Hikari, sitting backwards on the desk in front of her, feet on the chair. He began talking to her, seemingly oblivious to her lightly indignant face at his lack of tact.
He usually tried to leave them be and not pry into their personal matters, but Shinji couldn't help listening in as he pulled out his homework from last night. He rested his head on his hand, watching them in his peripheral. He could see Hikari's softened expression, and she looked a little shy as she leaned down to pull something from her bag. Shinji fidgeted with the pencil in his hand as she came back up with a decorated, pink parcel.
Shinji fought down a smile as Toji stuttered out a surprised thanks, taking the gift as Hikari waved him off, blushing.
He sat down at his seat, putting the gift on his desk. Shinji could tell he was trying to imitate his usual air of laid-back carelessness, but the effect was a little thrown off by his fingers, which were lightly fiddling with the present's wrappings.
Shinji returned his attention to his own desk, still repressing a smile. They really were cute together. He was glad they'd finally ended up with each other. From talking with Asuka, he'd learned that Hikari had had a crush on him for years, and he knew personally that Toji, despite his outward toughness, had always harbored a soft spot where Hikari was concerned. They'd been dancing around each other for so long, so it was satisfying to see them like this.
"Hey, looks like we got a ladies' man over here, ay, Ikari?" Shinji hadn't noticed the other boy enter until he was nudged with an elbow. Looking up, he saw Kensuke, who was smiling good-naturedly at the aforementioned ladies' man.
Toji grinned proudly. "Eh, what can I say? The chicks jus' can't get enougha me!"
Shinji shook his head amusedly as Hikari tsked at his words.
Kensuke sighed a bit, turning back to Shinji. "Man, you really are lucky though, Toji. You probably got all sorts of plans for today huh? And here we are all lonely." He rested an arm on Shinji's shoulder. "We gotta get through another year as bachelors."
Shinji laughed forcefully as Kensuke retracted his arm. "Yeah, ri-"
"Woah, holy shit, Ikari! Your neck!"
Shinji jumped as Toji interrupted him loudly. He blinked, feeling a lot more awake now. "Wh-What about my neck?" he said confusedly, raising a hand to feel it.
Kensuke looked down at the area too, dumbstruck. "Oh my God! Are those hickeys?!"
Shinji felt as though lightning shot through his chest as his eyes widened. "What?!"
He stared at his two friends as they exchanged amazed expressions. Then they both grinned excitedly back at him and Toji started laughing uncontrollably.
"They are hickeys! God damn, Ikari, I didn't know you had it in you!"
Shinji felt his face redden as he tried stammering out an excuse. "N-No, that's not-! it's not what it looks like, I-"
Kensuke spoke over him. "Guess I gotta take back that bachelor statement," he said, laughing. "She really marked you up good; you seriously didn't notice all those?"
He raised a hand to his neck defensively, trying to hide the marks, though he didn't know where they were. He was almost scared to find out how bad it was. Judging by Toji's continued barks of laughter, they must've been all over the place.
Toji pulled himself together enough to ask the exact question Shinji had been dreading. "Who did it, man? I mean, hell, she really must have the hots for you to give you marks like those!"
Shinji felt his face burn in embarrassment as he tried thinking of a way around this. "I... I can't-"
Just then, a distraction came in the form of another person entering the classroom. All three of them looked up as he walked in, and Shinji felt simultaneously relieved and furious at the sight of him.
"Yo, Nagisa! Get a load of this!" Toji said, pointing at Shinji.
Kaworu walked in further, looking surprised to be addressed so immediately. Then, he turned to Shinji in mild curiosity.
"Hickeys! He's absolutely covered in 'em!" Toji explained.
Then, much to Shinji's intense disquiet, dawning comprehension showed itself in Kaworu's pale face in the form of a self-satisfied smile.
"Oh, goodness. You really are covered in them." Shinji felt anger bubble in his chest at his obscenely pleased tone. Was he seriously proud of this?!
"You must have quite the attentive partner," he said, smirk widening. Shinji shot him a death glare as his face grew impossibly redder.
His eyes tracked Kaworu as he moved to sit down in his seat behind him. Turning backwards to continue to glare, Shinji watched Kaworu return his gaze with those stupid, roguish eyes. It couldn't have been clearer that he was incredibly amused, and Shinji wanted to yell at him for not even bothering to hide his delight. He might as well have just owned up to putting the marks there right now; that expression basically said it for him.
Thankfully, though, Toji and Kensuke seemed oblivious to what their heated staring contest meant.
"Yeah, I'll say!" Kensuke added, still laughing. "Guess I'm the only single one this year then," he said, sounding a little disappointed.
After shrugging, he moved off to his own seat, and Shinji was thoroughly relieved that he changed the topic. Deciding not to enter into the conversation, Shinji turned back in his seat.
"Seriously?! What the hell, Kaworu?!" he whispered heatedly, leaning as close as he dared so as not to let anyone else in on his words.
"Hmm?" he hummed out questioningly. "Whatever do you mean?"
Shinji could've slapped him. "Why didn't you tell me you left marks?! Did you think it'd be funny for me to walk into class and get called out?"
Kaworu shrugged, looking unconcerned. "I didn't think they would stay visible for so long." He smirked. "I suppose I did too good of a job taking care of you."
"God, you're such a jerk! I can't believe I came over to your place. I should've gone straight home, then none of this would've happened!"
Kaworu frowned at him. "Oh, please, Shinji. you can't just go back in time." Shinji glared, making him pout. "Very well, I'll be more careful next time, but honestly, even if I told you there were marks, what would you have done? It's not as if you could've hidden them; you don't own makeup or anything."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Asuka walk into the classroom.
He muttered darkly, "Yeah, well, maybe I should get some. If I'd've known you were gonna slobber all over me, I would've prepared myself."
Kaworu laughed lowly, leaning still closer. "Oh, but I'm glad you can't cover them up this time. I think I quite like the look of you covered in my love bites." Shinji felt his heart jump as he leaned even closer, and he wondered how Kaworu could've cared so little about being secretive. "Now everyone knows you're all mine, even if I can't say it."
Shinji sputtered, then he felt his heart jump further, recognizing Asuka looking at them suspiciously from across the room. He quickly pulled away and turned back in his chair, sitting the right way again as Kaworu snickered evilly. He made a note to himself to really chew him out properly when they were alone later.
He consciously rubbed at his neck, trying to duck his head down a bit to hide the marks. Then he jumped when a hand was slammed down in front of him. He looked up, still hiding his neck.
"So, Shinji, did you manage to find a girl sympathetic enough to be your Valentine this year?" Before he could even respond, Asuka snorted and continued, "Ha! Just kidding; as if that'll never happen."
Shinji stared back, annoyed. "Oh yeah? Well, I don't see you with a Valentine either..." he muttered.
She flipped her hair, scoffing. "Oh please, I could get any guy I want." She smirked down at him. "I've already been asked out just this morning. Of course, I turned him down since he wasn't nearly good enough for the present I got. I'm waiting for someone really special to give it to."
"Well, hooray for your mystery Valentine. He must be sooo excited," Shinji said, rolling his eyes.
Asuka made a face as though she'd just sucked a lemon. "Don't get smart with me, Idiot Shinji! You don't know anything about love!" she sneered, punching him in the arm.
Shinji stifled a cry of pain, then, without thinking, moved the hand he was covering his neck with to rub at the spot Asuka had bruised. He realized his mistake when Asuka let out a disgusted sound. He looked back up at her.
"Eugh! You pervert! You don't have any shame, do you?!" she shot at him, pointing to his neck.
He felt heat prickle over his face as some of his classmates turned to them. More people were filing in now. He recovered the spot despite his still smarting arm.
"I only just found out they were there! It's not my fault! It's K-" but he cut himself off with a deep breath. "It's got nothing to do with you... s-so just leave me alone, would you?"
She stared pointedly at him for a few more moments, before dropping her finger. Shinji could've sworn her eyes flicked past him to Kaworu for the merest moment before she crossed her arms. A little smile formed on her face.
"Huh, so you've got a secret lover; is that it? I guess you've got more game than I thought."
Shinji looked back at her angrily. Why did everyone keep saying stuff like that...?
She put her hands on her hips, looking suddenly impatient. "Well? Are you gonna tell me who it is or not?"
"I already told you! It's none of your business, Asuka!" he repeated.
She scrunched her nose at him, and Shinji tried preparing himself for the earful he was most likely about to receive, until another distraction presented itself.
A confident looking girl walked into the class. When Shinji recognized her as the girl from the café, he felt an intense foreboding sink into his stomach. 'Oh, no...'
His dread was confirmed as she smiled and started giggling, her eyes focused pointedly on the spot only a foot or so behind Shinji. She made her way towards it, and Shinji turned around in his seat.
Kaworu - who'd been mindlessly staring off into space - blinked as Shinji made eye contact with him. Then, his eyes slid past Shinji to the girl currently bearing towards him, face turning stoney. Itsumi came right up to him, holding out the most obnoxious looking chocolate box Shinji had ever seen.
"Oh, Kaworu!" she sang, "Happy Valentine's Day! I've got a few things for youuu." She giggled again, holding out her gift.
Shinji looked at Kaworu's face. He couldn't even seem to manage a kind smile like usual.
He raised his hands defensively. "That's... That's very nice of you but... I simply can't accept-"
Itsumi's smile only widened, and she put her gift down on his desk, leaning towards him. Shinji felt his stomach twist painfully as she cut through his denial.
"Oh, sure you can, cutie, all you have to do is say you'll be my Valentine," she laughed, flicking the collar of his shirt.
Shinji gripped the back of his seat so hard his knuckles turned white. Anger clawed painfully at his insides as he watched this horrible scene unfold in front of him.
Kaworu stayed still for a few more moments, his face set. Then, he motioned to stand from his seat, and Itsumi backed up, looking expectant. Face as straight as it could be, Kaworu picked up her gift.
"No, I will not be your Valentine," he said breezily, holding the gift back out to her. "And I would very much prefer if you didn't call me that." He dropped it into her arms. "Thank you," he finished, sitting back down.
Itsumi blinked, looking shocked. When she tried opening her mouth to argue, Kaworu spoke once more.
"I'm sure someone else would be very happy to accept your gift, but not me." He looked at her seriously. "I'm already taken. So, let me be."
The whole class seemed to go silent. Itsumi blinked at him, then stared around at the class. Blushing a little, she bowed to him, muttering out a hasty apology, before awkwardly sideling from the room.
Kaworu made himself comfortable in his seat once more, leaning back, seeming completely unaffected by the people still looking at him. Then slowly, people started to talk again, and the nervously quiet moment passed.
Shinji saw Toji and Kensuke exchange an astonished look, and he stared straight at Kaworu. He looked back at Shinji, stoney face turning softer, and he smiled. Shinji felt his lip twitch, as though he wanted to smile too, but he repressed it. He felt thoroughly relieved that Kaworu had handled things the way he did. He wasn't sure he could've kept quiet a moment longer; he'd been about ready to explode at her, and that would've been bad.
Then, Asuka leaned over Shinji's desk towards Kaworu. She looked sour.
"I bet you just loved that, didn't you, Angel Boy?" she asked scathingly.
Kaworu's eyes flicked to her. "No, Soryu, I assure you, I most definitely did not," he said, in a dignified sort of way.
She narrowed her eyes at him, and Shinji felt thoroughly unsettled as her gaze flicked suspiciously between him and Kaworu again. But then, she simply scoffed and turned to walk back to her seat.
Once she had gotten out of earshot, he heard Kaworu mutter lightly, "I apologize if I said too much."
Shinji turned his head ever so slightly. "No, I'm glad you shut her down like that... I don't think she expected you to say no in front of so many people." 'It's what she deserved,' he added bitterly in his head.
He heard Kaworu laugh lightly. "I know you don't like it so much. And anyway, I've been getting tired of it too."
Then, after a few quiet seconds, Kaworu smirked as he added, "And don't worry, Shinji, I'll pick up some concealer for you later tonight."
Shinji pulled up his collar wearily. "Yeah... thanks."
...
"Man, things are getting wild around here. I mean, first Ikari scores, and now Nagisa's finally decided to settle for someone. I'm gonna guess that Hell freezes over next."
Shinji glanced at Kensuke as he spoke, before looking back down to eat. It was lunch time, and they, along with Toji, had moved out into the courtyard with most of their class.
Toji stretched and slumped back on the bench the three of them sat on, the bento Hikari had prepared for him sitting precariously on his lap.
"Tell me about it, man. Everyone's gettin' all lovey-dovey and shit. That gal of yours couldn't even wait until Valentine's Day to mark you up," he said, nudging Shinji with a foolish grin. "Ya gotta tell us who it is, man!" Kensuke nodded and leaned towards him eagerly.
Shinji looked between them, shifting uncomfortably. "C'mon... it doesn't really matter, does it?"
Toji let out a whoop of laughter. "Like hell it doesn't matter!"
Kensuke pushed up his glasses. "Yeah, you've been single for how long? This is pretty big, Ikari."
Shinji shrugged. Then when he realized they wouldn't back down until he'd given an answer, he sighed. "Listen guys... I can't tell you, it's a secret, alright?"
Toji booed and Kensuke looked at him confusedly. "A secret? What, she doesn't want anyone to know she's going out with you? Is she embarrassed?"
Shinji responded indignantly as Toji snorted. "No! She's- I mean, they're not embarrassed about it. It's just... I don't know... we're not ready to talk about it yet," he mumbled, looking back down at his food.
"Dang, man, well that just makes me more curious than ever," Toji said. Then, he squinted around the courtyard like he'd see a sign pointing him in the direction of Shinji's secret girlfriend.
"It ain't Soryu, is it?"
Shinji made a face at him, and Kensuke smiled.
"Heh, that's a no then. Uhh..." he muttered, looking around again. "Oh, how 'bout Ayanami?"
Shinji sighed, shaking his head. "Trust me... you're not gonna guess right," he said. 'But you're getting warmer...'
Toji grunted unsatisfactorily, opening his bento. "Man, I give up. You keep your secrets or whatever. But you gotta tell us sometime, aight?"
"Yeah... alright," Shinji said, rubbing his neck unconsciously. Again, he felt that sense of guilt rise up in his stomach. Here he was, keeping secrets from his two best friends. They really didn't deserve that, but the thought of telling them who he was really with was almost nauseating.
Kensuke's gaze seemed to drift over to the opposite end of the courtyard. "While we're on that topic, who'dya think Nagisa's going out with? I mean, that guy's never gone out with anyone before. He really must've struck gold."
Shinji looked over to where Kensuke was staring. He saw Kaworu sitting on a bench next to Rei. The two of them were happily talking - or more accurately, Kaworu was talking, and Rei was listening with a little smile on her face - and sharing a box of food Shinji knew Kaworu had prepared earlier that morning.
He couldn't help smiling at the sight. After winter break had ended, Kaworu decided to take up Shinji's advice of talking to Rei, and they'd hit it off great. He wasn't so surprised that Kaworu made fast friends with her, but he was surprised by the fact that Rei seemed to like him just the same. She never talked much, and Shinji had scarcely ever seen her smile before, but whenever she and her half-brother were together, she seemed to do both of those things more. It was almost like he was helping her out her shell.
And, on the other hand, Shinji was glad that Kaworu had someone other than him to hang out with. It was always good to have a few friends at your disposal, and he knew they spent free time together. Shinji reflected on how Kaworu had just recently gone out on a shopping trip with her. He'd happily told Shinji all about how they'd picked out clothes for each other while he was over last weekend. They really did feel like a real brother and sister now, and Shinji was happy for them.
Although, he was still the only person who knew of their relation, which he had to remind himself as Toji looked over and confidently exclaimed, "Yo, it's gotta be Ayanami. I mean, look at 'em!"
Shinji made a face. "No, it's not her, Toji," he said quickly.
He looked over at Shinji, surprised. "Woah, woah, wait. You know who it is, Ikari?"
Shinji swore inwardly. "Uh-Uhm, well, I..."
Kensuke looked thoughtful. "Huh, you guys do hang out a lot. You're good friends, right? It makes sense he'd tell you."
Toji nodded his agreement at that. "Yeah, so, Ikari, who's the pretty boy goin' out with?"
Shinji looked between them again. He swallowed hard. His guilt was really eating at him now. He couldn't just outright lie, could he? He wasn't sure his conscience could take that. He took another bite of food to buy himself some time. Then, he suddenly thought that maybe this was his sign to finally tell them. As that thought struck him, he felt a strange nervous jolt pass through his stomach. As he chewed, he continued to think, now actually considering the idea.
He'd been hiding it for weeks now, and he had to admit it was getting tiring. He'd like them to know, and he couldn't just keep telling himself that he'd reveal it someday. Because when was someday? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year?
He couldn't just keep pushing it off. It was him realizing his crush on Kaworu all over again; he knew he couldn't just keep hiding it and smothering it. He felt his nerves increase as he decided solemnly that ripping off the band-aid now would be the easiest option. If they accepted him, they accepted him, if not... well, he'd just hope that didn't happen.
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. Then, Toji brought him back to Earth, snapping in front of his face.
"Yo, Ikari, you gotta spill the beans! We're dyin' over here!" He took back his hand as Shinji looked at him. "Oh, ya know what? Is it that total babe in 1-A with the long black hair? She's real popular, I can totally see him going for-"
"It's not... it's not a girl," Shinji cut in quietly.
They both stared at him. He knew his face had gone red.
"Eh? Whatcha mean it's not a girl?" Toji asked. "If it ain't a girl, what else... would it..." he trailed off.
Had Shinji not been so incredibly scared, he might've laughed at the dawning looks Toji and Kensuke exchanged.
"Ain't no way..."
"Ikari," Kensuke said. "Are you saying Nagisa's into guys?!"
Shinji tried to pick up more food, but gave up when he couldn't even hold his chopsticks, much less get it down without feeling like vomiting. Instead, he took a deep breath. "Yes, that's what I'm saying."
They stared wide eyed at him for a moment, then Toji let out a long, low whistle.
"Yo... I never even thoughta that..."
Taking in his quiet awed tone, Shinji felt his stomach knots tighten, taking it as a bad sign. He tried repressing his shaking as they stayed silent for a little while. It was getting more stressful by the second.
Then, Kensuke spoke, letting out a light, dry laugh. "Well, I guess it makes sense." They both looked at him. "That's why he never liked any of those girls." He smiled. "It's cuz they didn't have the right parts!"
Shinji shook his head, letting out a long, shaky sigh as Toji roared with laughter. Somehow, he felt more humiliated than ever.
Once Toji had stopped laughing, Kensuke went on. "But then, if he's not seeing a girl, he's seeing a dude, right? Who is it then, Ikari?" He blinked. "Uh, Ikari?"
Shinji looked back at him with difficulty, wishing more than anything that he could hide his bright red face. "I-I think you can figure that out yourself..."
They both looked puzzled at this, but then, Kensuke's gaze drifted down to Shinji's neck, and he seemed to put two and two together. He gasped.
"N-No, no way! Ikari, you...!" He motioned feverishly. "It's you, Ikari! You and Nagisa... you're a couple!"
Toji sputtered, and Shinji thought he could've been sick right then and there. He stared hard at his knees.
"H-Holy- are you serious?! Ikari, you guys are...?"
Shinji nodded shakily, unable to look at either of them. He felt faint.
After a second's silence, Toji let out a sharp laugh and Kensuke said, "This is insane! I mean, how did you manage to get with the most popular kid in school?!"
Toji thumped him on the back. "For real! You gotta be the luckiest schmuck in this place! Good for you!"
Shinji raised his head to look at him in disbelief as he added, "I mean, if it had'ta be a dude, that was your best bet." Then he looked over at Kensuke, grinning. "Imagine what all them girls'd do if they saw you two weirdos holdin' hands!"
As they both laughed at the thought, Shinji dimly stared at each of them in turn. Throat dry, he cracked out, "B-But... you guys aren't... aren't upset, o-or freaked out or anything?"
Kensuke raised an eyebrow, still smiling. "Whatcha mean, Ikari? Why should we be?"
"We-We're both guys! I mean, i-it's not that normal... you really don't care...?" he asked, completely thrown.
Toji laughed again. "Eh, whatever man. So, what if ya like what he's got in his pants, that ain't our business."
"Yeah. And sure, I guess it's kinda shocking, I never knew you swung that way, but still," Kensuke shrugged. "You like who you like."
"It is kinda funny though. I always thought ya were inta chicks," Toji added thoughtfully.
Shinji shook his head. "I-I am. I still like girls, I just... like him too," he said, and it was perfectly true.
They both looked at him, seemingly surprised. "You're allowed to do that?" Toji asked.
Shinji gave him a look. "Allowed...? Do you think the sexuality police are gonna arrest me?"
Kensuke snorted as Toji went on, "Well nah, man. I just never thought about it." Then he shrugged. "But hey, guess that gives ya a lot more options to choose from."
"R-Right..." Shinji said, feeling his heart pound, though it seemed to be slowing down. That had gone way better than Shinji ever could've imagined.
Kensuke laughed in a teasing sort of way then. "You guys must be real happy together," he said, jabbing at Shinji's neck. "It looks like a vampire attacked you. Didn't drink your blood, did he?"
Shinji rubbed at his face embarrassedly as Toji snorted. "No... he's just really touchy..."
Then, Toji looked as if a sudden thought had occurred to him. "Hey man, wait a second. If you guys are together, does that mean you're screwi-"
Shinji slapped his hand over Toji's mouth in alarm, face going furiously red.
Then Kensuke said, wonderingly, "Woah, I didn't even think of that! How does that work with another guy?"
Shinji quickly talked over him, beyond flustered. "I-I don't know! We've never-! I m-mean we haven't...!" He shook his head, taking his hand back from Toji's face. "Th-That's none of your business anyway..."
Toji snickered. "Jeez loueez, Ikari. You don't gotta get so worked up, it's just a question."
Kensuke looked out at the courtyard again to the red-eyed pair still eating together. "Y'know, I don't think you guys look too bad together. But it's weird, I never got the impression you liked him much."
Shinji leaned back on the bench. He felt like he had enough power to eat again, so he took a few bites. "I didn't, really... not 'till kinda recently."
"Recently, eh?" Toji asked, "How long ya been datin'?"
Shinji thought. "Umm, almost two months now."
Kensuke stared at him thoughtfully. "Two months? That'd be around the holidays... oh! I remember now; you stayed over at his place winter break, didn't you?"
He nodded. "Yeah, that's when it all started."
They were both looking at him eagerly, and he resigned himself to go on, even though he felt kind of embarrassed talking about his feelings like this.
"I came to his place that first day after school. Then, I kinda just... didn't go home. We spent a bunch of time together. I realized I had feelings for him around then... and after a few nights, he..." Shinji trailed off lightly, blushing. Thinking about this made him feel giddy and warm all over again. "He told me he loved me... and I told him I loved him back." He tried forcing down a smile, shrugging nonchalantly. "Now we're together."
Looking back, Shinji almost wanted to laugh. Even though that night they'd spent together had felt pretty much like the first day they became partners, that wasn't technically the case.
A week or two after that night, Shinji had invited Kaworu over to his house to hang out. They were sitting in his room just talking and relaxing. Shinji remembered being thankful that they were both guys because that meant his aunt and uncle weren't suspicious of what they'd be doing in there. He was allowed to keep his door closed, something they never allowed when he had a girl over. It was funny how ironic it was. This way, they couldn't simply walk in on them making out or anything; it was pretty convenient.
He'd noticed that Kaworu was acting differently, almost shyly. He was playing some game he couldn't remember when Kaworu had quietly asked him, "Shinji, would you like to be my boyfriend?"
Shinji remembered laughing, thinking he was joking. He said sarcastically, "Yeah, right. Like I'd ever go out with you."
But then, when Kaworu didn't speak, he glanced over to see him looking incredibly hurt.
"Y-You didn't need to... to say it like that," he got out shakily, and Shinji almost thought he sounded on the verge of tears.
He'd remembered staring in alarm, dropping his controller. "Wh-What do you mean?"
Kaworu had crossed his arms defensively, looking away. "You could've just said no..."
Shinji shook his head. "Kaworu, I already am your boyfriend."
Kaworu knit his brow. Then he looked back at Shinji, blinking rapidly. "Wh-What? You are?"
Shinji shook his head in utter disbelief. "Of course I am! What, did you think we were just two friends who made out and snuggled on the weekends?! Jeez, Kaworu, I said I loved you weeks ago!" he said exasperatedly.
Kaworu stared wide eyed back at him. "B-But... we never made it official," he said, and he looked a bit embarrassed now, judging by the light pink that was slowly covering his face.
Shinji held back his urge to laugh, instead choosing to walk over to where Kaworu sat on his bed. He hugged him. "You're such an idiot... but, alright, have it your way."
He pulled back. "Yes, I'd really like to be your boyfriend."
Shinji shook his head, wiping the sappy look of his face at the memory.
Kensuke huffed, staring blankly across the courtyard. "Man... this really isn't fair. How come you and Toji get to be so happy and in love?"
Shinji glanced over to where Asuka was sitting with Hikari. He could see the gift she had told him about sitting next to her; apparently, she hadn't found anyone to give it to yet. He smiled a bit.
"You know, if you play your cards right, maybe you'll have a chance with a certain someone."
Kensuke followed his gaze, adopting that dumb, misty-eyed expression he always had on whenever he looked at Asuka. He sighed dreamily.
"Oh, I wish..." he said, staring.
Toji's face lit up. "Yo! How's about this?" He shoveled down at least half his lunch in one go, before saying, "If she ain't gotta Valentine before Ikari's concert tonight, then ya ask her out to it. Ain't no way she'll turn ya down if she ain't got any other options!"
Shinji fought down a snort, watching Kensuke's expression brighten at the very thought of being Asuka's last resort.
"You really think I gotta chance?!"
Shinji and Toji looked at each other and nodded.
As Kensuke puffed himself up, looking excited beyond measure, they heard the bell ring, signifying the start of afternoon classes. As they threw out their trash and made their way back to class, Shinji listened to them exchange potential tactics for asking Asuka out. He couldn't quite stop smiling.
His chest felt lighter than it had in a while. They knew he and Kaworu were together, and they'd barely even batted an eye at the news. He couldn't properly express - even in his own head - how grateful he was for them.
As they went back into class, Shinji slid into his seat, hoping that Asuka would be in a good enough mood to end up going out with Kensuke. He honestly didn't think he had too good of a chance, but he was rooting for him anyway. How couldn't he after how unfalteringly he'd supported him just now?
The class quieted down as Misato walked in, dropping her notes haphazardly on her desk in the front of the room, still eating her lunch. When she'd straightened up and stood in the front of the class, Shinji found that he was in a far better mood than he'd been in earlier.
Despite all the anxieties he'd had about today, things really hadn't been bad so far. He found himself hoping against hope that everything else today would go smoothly too, though he didn't want to jinx himself.
In any case, it was hard to feel downtrodden just about now, even if his performance was still looming ever closer.
'It'd all be fine,' he thought, and he actually believed it this time.
'Everything will be absolutely fine.'
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone