Chapitre 20: Guarded Secret
Jessamyn had to agree. She surely was not in a clear state of mind that night. Maybe she had mixed up the lores she heard and the reality and it created a hallucination.
"You saw that man and the wolf at the same time?" Jessamyn asked.
She even doubted whether he could be the talking white wolf for a second.
"Yes. He…brought you here, on his horse…" Isadora said. Her lady must be talking about the Archduke when she said "that man".
While she was carried like a potato sack by that bear, her lady was cozy on a horse with the Archduke. Thinking about that night still was weird for her.
"Did the monkshood poison finally get you, Milady?" Isadora asked.
Poisons shouldn't be messed with but her lady treated them like common spice without any precautions.
Jessamyn glared at Isadora. "You've been calling 'milady' a lot of times now."
"But it wouldn't make any difference when you are going to become the Archduchess," Isadora stuck out her tongue.
Jessamyn didn't want to argue with Isadora anymore. She was the only one consistently calling her "Milady" for ages.
"It was not the monkshood or just its effect alone. I think it has something to do with the white flowers present. You saw them too, didn't you?" Jessamyn asked. She now questioned everything that happened that night.
"I did, Milady. Those flowers had a pleasant scent like jasmine but subtle…"
Jessamyn sighed. She remembered the pods in the flower bushes burst open spilling out silver glittery spores. "The spores must have reacted with the poisons and caused me to…" She cleared her throat.
"What happened to the captive children and the smugglers?" she asked.
She remembered the wolf taking down the two smugglers while she took out one. Was that real or was that a hallucination too?
"The wolf tore apart two of the men and the Archduke's men rescued the children. Bernard would know more but he said nothing," Isadora pouted. That guy didn't say a word.
"Isadora, Bernard didn't hurt you, did he?" Jessamyn asked. She sensed Isadora hiding something from her whenever she talked about Bernard.
"No," Isadora shook her head and averted her eyes. She couldn't look straight at Jessamyn's eyes when she felt guilty.
Jessamyn pressed her again and Isadora was defensive. Jessamyn understood that Isadora was hiding something. It probably was something embarrassing. She decided to wait. Isadora couldn't keep any secret from her.
She plopped on the bed with her arms spread. "Oh, Isadora… I can't wait to return home…" she smiled.
She could go back home with her brother. It had been a while.
Home…
The Jasmine Villa—the small piece of land with a beautiful cottage her husband left for her was the only property she owned. Emily and Ethan were staying there after they lost their titles and land.
That Villa was buttered up next to Ravensworth. They could see their Beaumont Castle from the Villa.
Joar had planned for everything. When he learned that his mother was unfair to her, he left without telling her anything. She thought he was angry with her for not being open with him. She only met him at the jousting tournament; he had written her to meet him there.
She tried to talk to him but he refused to stating he was angry at her. She quietly watched him compete. She was extremely proud of him; he was the best. Watching him defeat everyone was a delight.
Something terrible happened at the finals. She didn't know what happened to Jerrick but Joar was hurt by his lance when it broke. She was not thinking straight and she ran to him, tears streaming down her face. She hadn't talked to him for a couple of months. When she saw him getting hurt, her heart almost stopped.
Thankfully, his chest plate took the brunt and Joar was unhurt. She still couldn't control her tears as she was affected by him not talking to her. He consoled her, apologized to her, and brought her out of the city.
She thought he was bringing her to Beaumont Castle, but he showed her the renovated villa that once belonged to his father. He had named it after her and moved their baby's grave there. He changed his will so that she would get the villa after him and that he would be buried with their baby in the Villa.
They spent a few peaceful weeks there. She cooked and cleaned; he cultivated a small vegetable patch in the yard. There, they weren't nobles; just a young couple in love who forgot to cook at times as they spent their time on the bed in each other's embrace.
She got the cozy life she wanted. She never asked him but he fulfilled her deep heart desire. That was Joar. He always knew what she wanted and needed.
'I'm sorry… I am not leaving you alone again. I promise…' he said wiping her tears when she apologized. She still hid that one thing from him.
Liar! You left me alone…Liar! Or was it my fault? Oh, Joar… would it have made a difference if I told you the whole truth? Would you be still with me if I were honest?
She would never know the answer to that question. Maybe it was her fault. It was her fault their baby died and it was her fault her husband died. What would she know? He was not there to answer her. All she could hope was to meet him in the next life and ask him herself.
Regrets… Regrets and resentments. That was all she had left this life.
Joar… take me with you soon… Please…
"Milady…"
Isadora shook her shoulder and Jessamyn sat up wiping her face. Isadora's hands trembled as she patted her back. She didn't know what Jessamyn was thinking but she was sobbing. It hurt her to see her lady like that.
At such times, she would look like she would disappear into thin air if she didn't hold on to her.
"You must despise me, Isadora," Jessamyn looked at Isadora. Her eyes were puffy and red. "Why didn't I die? It should have been me. Not him… Why didn't I die the day I fell down the stairs…? Why?"
"Milady… Please…" Isadora hugged her and rubbed her back. "Don't say that…"
Winter always brought out the bad memories for her lady. Winter was when the lady slipped down the stairs and lost her baby. Winter was also when her husband died. Both incidents happened on a full moon day and she hated the moon too.
That's why Lady Jessamyn traveled extensively during winter and occupied her mind with other things.
"Why? Why is fate so cruel to me? I prayed to Levana every day. Why did she abandon me? Why?"
Jessamyn continued to sob. Isadora gently patted her back.
"It all turned out for the best. You have a second chance. You are going to become the Archduchess and no one would dare to speak against you. No one would laugh at you…" Isadora said.
Lady Jessamyn was a good woman. She deserved the best. If she could get over the hate she had for the Archduke, she could have a wonderful life. She deserved it.
Jessamyn stopped sobbing and looked at Isadora. "You clearly don't know, do you, Sweet Isadora…" Jessamyn held her cheek.
Isadora's heart skipped a beat.
"My life is going to get infinitely worse from now on," Jessamyn said and a dry smile hung by the corner of her lips.
"That man is punishing me for some reason..."
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