25Critiques
3.9
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
- Contexte du monde
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Did the author gave up on this novel???..........................................................,.....................................................
Mediocre to bad. Nothing new or impressive. Generic HP story without anything new. Story just lazily follows canon with minor changes.... Grammar and writing is bad so overall this is at max a 2 / 5. [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
Copy of my review from RoyalRoad: I feel that my edit suggestions comment on chapter one shows exactly why I'm dropping this: the kids at the ORFANAGE speak in an oddly formal manner, words are consistently missing, the story can't seem to settle on which tense to use and subsequently keeps switching between the past and present (it seems to be in the present tense, but the author has done a bad job of bringing out the potential of this writing style), the grammar is "Bleh" and results in a very stilted manner of storytelling, and finally, the author has not fixed any of the above issues despite people bringing this up through edit suggestions. Seriously, I feel like my feelings can be summed up by what I stated in chapter one: "This was terrible and needs a rewrite. I hope you continue to improve as time goes on." Overall, I'd not give this a try. Oh, and if you want further clarification on what about this story needs tweaking, go look at my extensive edit suggestions on the aforementioned first chapter. I'd also like to highlight a quote from yndrelbosch that sheds light on what many will feel when reading this book: "The plot is great, but umm... I'm kinda just rewriting it in my head as I read. Everything from word choice and placement to grammatical and spelling errors. Honestly, I've gotten rather adept at rewriting stories as I read them, the quality around RR never seems to be quite there ~~" Have a nice day.
Try to increase updating stability if possible. Rest is average in my opinion but as you get more experience, it will only improve.
MC is basically irrelevant in the story as it mostly follows canon. Lots of grammar inconsistencies as well as missing words in sentences. Wouldn't bother reading further.
INFELIZMENTE, é mais uma fic com enredo sem contexto que não segue o desenvolvimento do personagem criado para ela. É mais um coadjuvante com pinta de fodão mas que não tem desenvolvimento e que fica nos calcanhares do cânone. A escrita e gramática é boa. Leia por conta e risco.
I don’t think a 35 year old transmigrated soul should fall in love. I think they should be goal oriented selfish something like immortality afterall as human grow older they wanna live forever
didn't even read a single chapter but a 5 star review cuz it doesn't cost me anything but . . . author should add harry potter tag it will definitely increase reach. . . . and please let fleur be fl. pls pls pls
bro if your going to write a bad guy wizard mc story here is a tip do a real bad boi wizard fanfic a real cheater at magic a mc that studies to be the most powerful of his generation really twist it give him tattoos muscles through underground arena fighting a real charmer/player the girls love to hate and hate to love even if you tie the mc to one of the 28th families have your mc not care or give a fuke about them since they either knew of him growing up on the streets or didn't care to rescue him a real dark horse harry potter fanfic not a cookie cutter plot fallower do this and your patron subscribers will pop up alot take 15 chapters for summer time to write the mc in a boxing or mixed fighter gaining ranking making a name for himself or make him a thief giving the aurors and ministry a headache trying to catch him spend your time crafting a fanfic like this you will definitely get alot more readers
good book. it's good progression, with some unique ideas (e.g, fight club) the first few chapters are rough around the edges (eg, him not having personal memories but then remembers something his sister said), but that's mainly just at the start. don't expect an mc who knows the entirety of the plot. He only really knows snippets, but I think it's a unique take on it and works well.
Spoiler de révélation
Author misuse modal verbs oftentimes. Story development is rehash, we got an AU but somehow everything is still about Harry Potter. Character Design is smart, but it's stupid how he only got the 2nd spot for transfiguration. Updates are above average.
MC is basically irrelevant in the story as it mostly follows canon. Lots of grammar inconsistencies as well as missing words in sentences. Wouldn't bother reading further.
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TLDR: Bad Story Development, Bad MC, Inconsistent World Building. (1) The MC is Basically a plus 1 to the Golden Trio or Rather The Golden Four in this story. He antagonizes a very influential group of people when he is basically nothing at the moment. (2) The Story is in AU where Nevile is The Boy Who Lived but the story still acts like Harry is the Boy Who Lives. (3) The story development is going worse at the moment, the MC is not the main focus, The story itself is basically Cannon with the MC as bonus characters.
This is a fantastic story. Premise ind Canon changes are very interesting. The main character is interesting. The pace is pretty good. Here is Five stars to keep your going.
Muito divertido. Claro acho estranho ele ter uma memória tão boa e simplesmente mistura grande parte da história. Porém ainda sim muito divertido.
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really a good fan-fic to be honest, worth reading, really waiting for the the next chapter............................................................
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i tried to force myself through this because it was vaguely interesting, and maybe it gets better past ch15 or wherever i was. but this reads worse than most mtl chinese webnovels. and the author is so inconsistent with facts about their own mc, that it ruins even treating this as a junkfood read.
Did the author gave up on this novel???..........................................................,.....................................................
Mediocre to bad. Nothing new or impressive. Generic HP story without anything new. Story just lazily follows canon with minor changes.... Grammar and writing is bad so overall this is at max a 2 / 5. [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
Copy of my review from RoyalRoad: I feel that my edit suggestions comment on chapter one shows exactly why I'm dropping this: the kids at the ORFANAGE speak in an oddly formal manner, words are consistently missing, the story can't seem to settle on which tense to use and subsequently keeps switching between the past and present (it seems to be in the present tense, but the author has done a bad job of bringing out the potential of this writing style), the grammar is "Bleh" and results in a very stilted manner of storytelling, and finally, the author has not fixed any of the above issues despite people bringing this up through edit suggestions. Seriously, I feel like my feelings can be summed up by what I stated in chapter one: "This was terrible and needs a rewrite. I hope you continue to improve as time goes on." Overall, I'd not give this a try. Oh, and if you want further clarification on what about this story needs tweaking, go look at my extensive edit suggestions on the aforementioned first chapter. I'd also like to highlight a quote from yndrelbosch that sheds light on what many will feel when reading this book: "The plot is great, but umm... I'm kinda just rewriting it in my head as I read. Everything from word choice and placement to grammatical and spelling errors. Honestly, I've gotten rather adept at rewriting stories as I read them, the quality around RR never seems to be quite there ~~" Have a nice day.
Try to increase updating stability if possible. Rest is average in my opinion but as you get more experience, it will only improve.
MC is basically irrelevant in the story as it mostly follows canon. Lots of grammar inconsistencies as well as missing words in sentences. Wouldn't bother reading further.
INFELIZMENTE, é mais uma fic com enredo sem contexto que não segue o desenvolvimento do personagem criado para ela. É mais um coadjuvante com pinta de fodão mas que não tem desenvolvimento e que fica nos calcanhares do cânone. A escrita e gramática é boa. Leia por conta e risco.
I don’t think a 35 year old transmigrated soul should fall in love. I think they should be goal oriented selfish something like immortality afterall as human grow older they wanna live forever
didn't even read a single chapter but a 5 star review cuz it doesn't cost me anything but . . . author should add harry potter tag it will definitely increase reach. . . . and please let fleur be fl. pls pls pls
bro if your going to write a bad guy wizard mc story here is a tip do a real bad boi wizard fanfic a real cheater at magic a mc that studies to be the most powerful of his generation really twist it give him tattoos muscles through underground arena fighting a real charmer/player the girls love to hate and hate to love even if you tie the mc to one of the 28th families have your mc not care or give a fuke about them since they either knew of him growing up on the streets or didn't care to rescue him a real dark horse harry potter fanfic not a cookie cutter plot fallower do this and your patron subscribers will pop up alot take 15 chapters for summer time to write the mc in a boxing or mixed fighter gaining ranking making a name for himself or make him a thief giving the aurors and ministry a headache trying to catch him spend your time crafting a fanfic like this you will definitely get alot more readers
good book. it's good progression, with some unique ideas (e.g, fight club) the first few chapters are rough around the edges (eg, him not having personal memories but then remembers something his sister said), but that's mainly just at the start. don't expect an mc who knows the entirety of the plot. He only really knows snippets, but I think it's a unique take on it and works well.
Spoiler de révélation Author misuse modal verbs oftentimes. Story development is rehash, we got an AU but somehow everything is still about Harry Potter. Character Design is smart, but it's stupid how he only got the 2nd spot for transfiguration. Updates are above average.
MC is basically irrelevant in the story as it mostly follows canon. Lots of grammar inconsistencies as well as missing words in sentences. Wouldn't bother reading further.
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TLDR: Bad Story Development, Bad MC, Inconsistent World Building. (1) The MC is Basically a plus 1 to the Golden Trio or Rather The Golden Four in this story. He antagonizes a very influential group of people when he is basically nothing at the moment. (2) The Story is in AU where Nevile is The Boy Who Lived but the story still acts like Harry is the Boy Who Lives. (3) The story development is going worse at the moment, the MC is not the main focus, The story itself is basically Cannon with the MC as bonus characters.
This is a fantastic story. Premise ind Canon changes are very interesting. The main character is interesting. The pace is pretty good. Here is Five stars to keep your going.
Muito divertido. Claro acho estranho ele ter uma memória tão boa e simplesmente mistura grande parte da história. Porém ainda sim muito divertido.
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- .... .. ... / ... . . -- ... / .--. .-. --- -- .. ... .. -. --. --..-- / .. / ... .... .- .-.. .-.. / -... . / .. -. ..-. --- .-. -- .. -. --. / - .... . / -.-. --- ..- -. -.-. .. .-.. .-.-.-
really a good fan-fic to be honest, worth reading, really waiting for the the next chapter............................................................
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i tried to force myself through this because it was vaguely interesting, and maybe it gets better past ch15 or wherever i was. but this reads worse than most mtl chinese webnovels. and the author is so inconsistent with facts about their own mc, that it ruins even treating this as a junkfood read.