43Critiques
4.6
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looks great so far! the mc is cool story is nice abd the system is kind of unique
nah it not stail it actually pretty great story😁 so so pretty please continue your amazing work author🥺 ps. and don't let no one read this part I might get hate mail for this but I have say this author I like story but you need get some rest maybe a few days or a week. it can't be writing new characters everyday you need sleep.
great fanfic but... WARNING! don't read if you've recently read [fallen gamer] its quite similar in many aspects, so you might not get through it all.
did she know how to fight yet in she first fight with mandarin......????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????.
For a first attempt it's okay, but the pace of the plot, the utter stupidity of the protagonist and the superficial logic kill the desire to read. Explanation: I'm on chapter 51 now, and the story is rapidly moving forward. The main character hasn't even been here a week(?), while constantly jumping from one thick of events to another without a break. It's very confusing. The system gives out absurd rewards one after another, with the author deliberately weakening the protagonist or making her absolutly stupid. It's like saying that an athlete who has received the super soldier serum can't lift a boulder, even though the connection of the characteristics to the character's MP and HP, as well as to his body itself, is incomprehensible. There was 2500 mana regeneration, it became just 500 (while health and intelligence characteristics are the same, health is less and its regeneration is absurdly higher). The author is just putting whatever he wants in there.
would you mind if somebody made it into an audiobook on YouTube or Google drive?
Well, thought out system and main character. Manges to grab your attention and make you wonder what will appear next in the story.
3.8 from me, just have to say the upload speed isn't fast enough for me, but I know it takes time to write so... This cancels it out? Anyway keep up the good work :)
Author! Listen now and listen good. You’d better never drop this! I’ll find you if you do! Incredibly good story, great relationships, fleshed out worlds and just a captivating novel. This is the first bever I’ve ever read with a FML and it has been incredible.
Quite interesting novel, tho ofc like with many fanfics there are many plotholes, but quite interesting read nonetheless. Kinda disappointed with harem becoming Pokémon Harem rather than limited one it was implied to be, especially with regard to MC creating her wives
Alex_Simmonds Great work, man. You are doing a great job. Here is a fanfic idea you can do directly after Reality Bender System, Marvel. Marvel: Rebirth Of Spiderman Synopsis: Jack Sampson is someone with obsessive level intelligence on the MCU and Marvel Comics. He is given another chance at life and is reborn into Peter Parker's body with all his memories after being bitten by the spider. He does not know that the previous owner of the body had bought two lottery scratcher tickets to win 60 billion dollars for himself and Aunt May. He becomes a villain and wants to create a powerful empire and, eventually, conquer all of New York City. He will also take technology and modify or create serums to help him and his women grow stronger. Harem: 1. Rose Thompson 2. Lea Thompson 3. Aunt May 4. Liz Allan 5. Betty Brandt 6. Felicia Hardy 7. Lydia Hardy 8. Gwen Stacy 9. Helen Stacy 10. Rosalie Octavius 11. Nina De Costa 12. Venessa Fisk 13. Sasha Kravinoff 14. Calypso 15. Silver Sable 16. Diamondback 17. Titania 18. Amora The Enchantress 19. Lady Bullseye 20. Emma Frost 21. Selene Gallio 22. Ophelia Sarkissian 23. Sapphire Styx 24. Leeann Foreman 25. Deathbird 26. Elizabeth Rawson 27. Veranke His Costume
90% of the book is upgrading a ship or the MC, it's can be summed up as and then it was made bigger and better then hung out with wives and kids and then MC got bigger and better. The Multiverse is barely explored which it begs the question of why bother with the multiverse if your going to leave even the verse your in almost untouched.
I only write spanish, my inglish is very bad, my review in spanish: La novela al principio empezó un poco liosa, un personaje que no tenía una personalidad bien definida, pero al avanzar la novela se vio que mejoraba la única pega que le pongo es que ha veces te pierdes un poco con las mujeres que tiene y con los niños,cque en algunos momentos parecen un poco insertados a la fuerza. Si le tengo que poner una nota a la novela seria 9/10, siento así.
How to say it, well i read it to chapter 122, so far it's a bit messy, she gain trust to fast , she dont really develop her ability. if i need to say the story is developping to fast, she marry to fast, go to another world to fast. from chapter 1 to 122 it's harry potter x marvel and marvel x stargate , there are not really a lot a things appart seeing her get women, 2/3 battle, getting atlantis and making proposal to her women and getting them pregnant. and her species/abilities is a bit messy. this story has a lot of potential, i quite like it, but how is it written is not my type. But i like it, but the fact that she can go to other universe as she like and the story is not developping in one universe but is a mix of different universe/story is a bit confusing. (sorry english is not my native language)
Spoiler de révélation 
The plot is interesting. The writing is top-notch. The story develops quite nicely. If you want to read a novel, you should choose this. You will thank me later!
Forgot about giving the review, just remembered. ........................................................................................................
Spoiler de révélation 
I like how you write your story it's very interesting and funny to listen to
[img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend]
Shameless Author review! Anyway, this is my first time writing a fan-fiction and i hope you all enjoy it. I plan to have fantasy, sci-fi and other elements scattered throughout the story and plan to have romance in there as well (It will be a Yuri). Please feel free to leave comments, i love them, have a good day/night.
looks great so far! the mc is cool story is nice abd the system is kind of unique
nah it not stail it actually pretty great story😁 so so pretty please continue your amazing work author🥺 ps. and don't let no one read this part I might get hate mail for this but I have say this author I like story but you need get some rest maybe a few days or a week. it can't be writing new characters everyday you need sleep.
great fanfic but... WARNING! don't read if you've recently read [fallen gamer] its quite similar in many aspects, so you might not get through it all.
did she know how to fight yet in she first fight with mandarin......????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????.
For a first attempt it's okay, but the pace of the plot, the utter stupidity of the protagonist and the superficial logic kill the desire to read. Explanation: I'm on chapter 51 now, and the story is rapidly moving forward. The main character hasn't even been here a week(?), while constantly jumping from one thick of events to another without a break. It's very confusing. The system gives out absurd rewards one after another, with the author deliberately weakening the protagonist or making her absolutly stupid. It's like saying that an athlete who has received the super soldier serum can't lift a boulder, even though the connection of the characteristics to the character's MP and HP, as well as to his body itself, is incomprehensible. There was 2500 mana regeneration, it became just 500 (while health and intelligence characteristics are the same, health is less and its regeneration is absurdly higher). The author is just putting whatever he wants in there.
would you mind if somebody made it into an audiobook on YouTube or Google drive?
Well, thought out system and main character. Manges to grab your attention and make you wonder what will appear next in the story.
3.8 from me, just have to say the upload speed isn't fast enough for me, but I know it takes time to write so... This cancels it out? Anyway keep up the good work :)
Author! Listen now and listen good. You’d better never drop this! I’ll find you if you do! Incredibly good story, great relationships, fleshed out worlds and just a captivating novel. This is the first bever I’ve ever read with a FML and it has been incredible.
Quite interesting novel, tho ofc like with many fanfics there are many plotholes, but quite interesting read nonetheless. Kinda disappointed with harem becoming Pokémon Harem rather than limited one it was implied to be, especially with regard to MC creating her wives
Alex_Simmonds Great work, man. You are doing a great job. Here is a fanfic idea you can do directly after Reality Bender System, Marvel. Marvel: Rebirth Of Spiderman Synopsis: Jack Sampson is someone with obsessive level intelligence on the MCU and Marvel Comics. He is given another chance at life and is reborn into Peter Parker's body with all his memories after being bitten by the spider. He does not know that the previous owner of the body had bought two lottery scratcher tickets to win 60 billion dollars for himself and Aunt May. He becomes a villain and wants to create a powerful empire and, eventually, conquer all of New York City. He will also take technology and modify or create serums to help him and his women grow stronger. Harem: 1. Rose Thompson 2. Lea Thompson 3. Aunt May 4. Liz Allan 5. Betty Brandt 6. Felicia Hardy 7. Lydia Hardy 8. Gwen Stacy 9. Helen Stacy 10. Rosalie Octavius 11. Nina De Costa 12. Venessa Fisk 13. Sasha Kravinoff 14. Calypso 15. Silver Sable 16. Diamondback 17. Titania 18. Amora The Enchantress 19. Lady Bullseye 20. Emma Frost 21. Selene Gallio 22. Ophelia Sarkissian 23. Sapphire Styx 24. Leeann Foreman 25. Deathbird 26. Elizabeth Rawson 27. Veranke His Costume
90% of the book is upgrading a ship or the MC, it's can be summed up as and then it was made bigger and better then hung out with wives and kids and then MC got bigger and better. The Multiverse is barely explored which it begs the question of why bother with the multiverse if your going to leave even the verse your in almost untouched.
I only write spanish, my inglish is very bad, my review in spanish: La novela al principio empezó un poco liosa, un personaje que no tenía una personalidad bien definida, pero al avanzar la novela se vio que mejoraba la única pega que le pongo es que ha veces te pierdes un poco con las mujeres que tiene y con los niños,cque en algunos momentos parecen un poco insertados a la fuerza. Si le tengo que poner una nota a la novela seria 9/10, siento así.
How to say it, well i read it to chapter 122, so far it's a bit messy, she gain trust to fast , she dont really develop her ability. if i need to say the story is developping to fast, she marry to fast, go to another world to fast. from chapter 1 to 122 it's harry potter x marvel and marvel x stargate , there are not really a lot a things appart seeing her get women, 2/3 battle, getting atlantis and making proposal to her women and getting them pregnant. and her species/abilities is a bit messy. this story has a lot of potential, i quite like it, but how is it written is not my type. But i like it, but the fact that she can go to other universe as she like and the story is not developping in one universe but is a mix of different universe/story is a bit confusing. (sorry english is not my native language)
Spoiler de révélation The plot is interesting. The writing is top-notch. The story develops quite nicely. If you want to read a novel, you should choose this. You will thank me later!
Forgot about giving the review, just remembered. ........................................................................................................
Spoiler de révélation I like how you write your story it's very interesting and funny to listen to
[img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend]
Shameless Author review! Anyway, this is my first time writing a fan-fiction and i hope you all enjoy it. I plan to have fantasy, sci-fi and other elements scattered throughout the story and plan to have romance in there as well (It will be a Yuri). Please feel free to leave comments, i love them, have a good day/night.