Chapitre 24: I won't be the same again

Arrived in Arizona, precisely in Phoenix, Valerie, along with Damian and Daniel, headed straight to their apartment, quite far from the city center. They had to take a taxi to get there, even enduring an hour-long journey.

"You seem to be hiding at the edge of the world," Damian muttered, carrying a sleeping Daniel.

Valerie remained silent, opening the front door and entering a minimalist living room with a red sofa set and a wooden table. She quickly opened the window curtains, revealing the bright outside.

Damian fell silent, looking around, every corner of the room making him fantasize about Valerie spending every moment with Daniel and Hannah.

"This is far from comfortable... How can the girl I love, along with my firstborn son, be here, suffering, while I often engage in meaningless antics in Carson City? It's not fair, and it's all because of Samuel!" he said inwardly, his jaw tightening as he clenched his teeth as if in emotion.

"Take him to the room," Valerie said.

Damian immediately followed Valerie, crossing a small room that served as both a lounge and a dining area. He continued to follow her into a small room complete with a wardrobe, study table, a door that might lead to the bathroom, and a short window without bars, triggering his overthinking.

"If you forget to close that window, my son could fall out if you're careless while with him," he said.

"In reality, that never happened," Valerie replied, grabbing a vacuum and turning it on, starting to clean the bed covered with a gray bedsheet.

"So, you say this is Samuel's help?" Damian sighed, suddenly breathless, as if unable to accept this reality. "Think about it now. He didn't help you, but he led you into suffering. This rental is not suitable for you, for my son, even your parents' house is much better than this. If he helped you, he should have brought you to me... I could provide a more suitable place to live!"

Valerie remained silent, continuing to clean the bed.

"This is insane. You make me feel miserable now... My son was born premature and then stayed in a cramped house... It will surely be hot and stuffy in the summer, and he will be so cold in the winter," Damian said anxiously, then glanced at Daniel, still asleep in his arms. "My son... You shouldn't go through all this... If I had known about you from the beginning, I would have provided comfort for you," he continued, his eyes teary.

Valerie sighed, turning to Damian.

"He's fine... he's always happy, don't exaggerate," she said.

Damian glanced at Valerie, silent with his cold gaze, even though tears began to wet his cheeks. He immediately laid his son on the bed without saying anything.

Valerie swallowed her saliva, a bit confused, but she chose to immediately look for Daniel's birth records.

Valerie also packed some of her favorite books, both her works and those of famous authors, as well as some of Daniel's favorite toys and much more. She put everything in a large box and carried it to the living room. She saw Damian sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa, bending his right knee, and resting his elbow there.

She was puzzled, looking at the man with amazement, then sat in front of him.

"I didn't mean to make you sad," she said.

Damian remained silent with slow breaths, as if feeling choked.

"I've explained, I'm afraid to go back to Carson City. I imagined you and your family would show disappointment in me... I know I was wrong," Valerie said, her face bowed.

"And your fear is making my son linger in a difficult life," Damian replied.

"He's not struggling, he's happy..."

"You don't know, you don't know if he's happy or not!" Damian hissed with his sharp gaze.

Valerie sighed. "But he is happy... He rarely gets sick, he's not fussy... he understands me... He lets me work. He's an independent little man," she said patiently.

"That's a good thing, I know... I'm proud to hear that. But I can't stop comparing my life to his childhood. I lived with the full love of my parents... They adored me and didn't even hire a babysitter... Then my son... He didn't even recognize me as his father since he was born... He didn't experience the beauty of being cradled by his biological father, playing together... And much more, then he lacks attention from you because you have to work. It's not a healthy life for a baby... He's indeed independent, and understanding, but he does it all out of necessity... If you had told me about him when you were pregnant, he wouldn't have had these difficulties, maybe he wouldn't have been born premature!" Damian exclaimed with his tearful eyes, truly devastated. "You are selfish... You say he's fine all this time because you don't want to prioritize his happiness. You only care about yourself!"

"Sorry..." Valerie bowed her head.

"I hate this kind of reality!" Damian bowed his head, running his fingers through his hair in frustration, even his body seemed tense.

Valerie suddenly worried, unable to bear seeing Damian so frustrated. She immediately approached and hugged him, feeling his trembling body.

"Forgive me..."

Damian slowly looked up until Valerie released her hug, staring at her beautiful face that he missed so much.

"Don't do it again," he whispered.

"Yes..." Valerie nodded.

"Let me tell you," Damian whispered. "Since you left, I was angry, angry at myself. Until one day, I tried to fight my feelings, didn't want to love you anymore, but I couldn't... I just became more of a jerk... Nights filled with regret. Please... Don't make me feel that again!" He pleaded, his eyes showing suffering.

Valerie remained silent, looking into Damian's eyes.

"Please... Come back to me. I won't repeat my mistakes..."

Valerie sighed, then slightly distanced herself from Damian, sitting back on the floor.

"Give me a chance..." Damian begged again. "Please, don't hurt me by making me watch my son get another father. Just let me be his father, then I'll be your husband..."

"Damian, actions speak louder than words. What about the trust you shattered?" Valerie stared at Damian, still haunted by his mistakes. "It makes it hard for me to accept you again... I'll never be the same again..."

Damian nodded. "I know, it's too soon to ask you to come back. I respect your decision...but I beg you, let me prove my love for you and Daniel..."

"No, you can't..." Valerie immediately turned her face away. "You know now I'm in a relationship with Samuel. I don't want to disappoint him."

"You don't want to disappoint him, that means you'll give me a chance if you're not with him, right?" Damian made sure.

Valerie just shook her head.

"I know you still love me, Valerie..." Damian approached her until she slowly backed away. "You can't love any other man... I'm the one on your mind... I'm the one etched in your heart... Maybe you say no, but your eyes say yes..." he continued advancing until Valerie fell backward, and he immediately embraced her.

Valerie closed her eyes, feeling Damian's soft lips, reflexively responding to the kiss until their tongues met.

Damian didn't waste that opportunity, his left hand slowly slipped into Valerie's black pants until he found something wet there.

"Oh, baby... I know you always like me," he whispered.

Valerie closed her eyes, but suddenly, images of Damian naked in the room with Clara flashed in her mind.

"You're wet, my love," Damian murmured.

Valerie widened her eyes, pushing Damian until he rolled off her.

"You bastard!" She immediately sat with an angry look. "Please, respect me!"

Damian fell silent with surprise on his face, observing Valerie panting with her eyes reddened as if fueled by intense emotions.

"Don't do that again!" Valerie exclaimed, tears streaming down her face. "I might find it hard to resist your touch, but it doesn't mean you can touch me whenever you want. We're not the same as before; everything has changed... please respect me!" She pleaded with eyes hinting at suffering.

Damian swallowed nervously.

"I still can't forget your mistakes; it's like a barrier between us!" Valerie declared.

"I thought you still wanted me... especially that night..."

"That night, I was drunk!" Valerie affirmed, distancing herself from Damian. "Don't be too confident; I won't fall into your arms again... it's not that easy. You're still despicable, you don't respect me... you're disgusting, your hands are filthy. I don't know how many girls you've slept with while I struggled to heal from my trauma because of you. You're shameless; you should know, you're not worthy of me... we're not compatible. I can't live with your ways. You enjoy forced, dominant, disrespectful sex; you'll want someone else once you're bored with me."

"Valerie..." Damian shook his head.

"Don't make promises again; I don't need them. We're just strangers, and I'm here with you today only for Daniel!" Valerie exclaimed with narrowed eyes, promptly standing with trembling legs. She quickly stood and hurried to the room.

Damian remained silent, swallowing nervously, feeling remorseful, and looking at his own hands.

"I'm disgusting..."

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