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Écrire un avisI just read the chapters up to 9 and I have a feeling that something has changed in your way of writing from chapter 7, I don't know what it is but the way he thinks is different or the way you describe the action in progress. It's like an itch but I don't know where it comes from. Otherwise it's the best fanfiction prologue I've read and frankly I can't wait to read the rest. THANKS
Hey guys, This is my first online published fanfic so I would appreciate some input and feedback and ideas to put out my best work. Don't feel the need to mince your words and be blunt, I like talks that are straightforward. I'm going to be shameless and give this 5 starts, hope you don't mind!
I personally can't get past the first chapter. it's just too word heavy, almost like you've seen a novel with intricate details and fantastic prose and tried, and failed, to imitate it. There are run on sentences, unnatural sentence structures and unnecessary word fluff. You could skip like 70% of the chapter and miss nothing. I'll try my best to get past a few more chapters, but my expectations are low, especially because that was apparently the revised version. In which case, I just don't see the story getting any better than that.
I just read the chapters up to 9 and I have a feeling that something has changed in your way of writing from chapter 7, I don't know what it is but the way he thinks is different or the way you describe the action in progress. It's like an itch but I don't know where it comes from. Otherwise it's the best fanfiction prologue I've read and frankly I can't wait to read the rest. THANKS
Hey guys, This is my first online published fanfic so I would appreciate some input and feedback and ideas to put out my best work. Don't feel the need to mince your words and be blunt, I like talks that are straightforward. I'm going to be shameless and give this 5 starts, hope you don't mind!
I personally can't get past the first chapter. it's just too word heavy, almost like you've seen a novel with intricate details and fantastic prose and tried, and failed, to imitate it. There are run on sentences, unnatural sentence structures and unnecessary word fluff. You could skip like 70% of the chapter and miss nothing. I'll try my best to get past a few more chapters, but my expectations are low, especially because that was apparently the revised version. In which case, I just don't see the story getting any better than that.