Chapitre 59: Basketball
"Oh My God!", Haley screamed as she ran into Alex's room, "Did you see it yet?!".
"See what?", Alex asked, looking up from the book she was reading.
"Zephyr's going viral on Facebook!", Haley answered.
"What?!", Alex shrieked, "What happened?".
"Girls!", Claire yelled as she entered Alex's room, "Why are you screaming?".
"It's Zephyr!", Haley answered, "He's going viral on Facebook".
"What happened?", Claire inquired.
"It's easier if I just show you", Haley replied, quickly opening her laptop to pull up the video.
[A few seconds later]
"Wow", Alex muttered in awe.
"Woah", Claire mumbled in shock.
"Cool", Phil murmured as he looked at the video.
"That gave me shivers", Luke remarked as his body trembled from the contents of the video.
[Flashback]
"I'm out", Michael gave up, leaning as far back as possible on his chair.
"I'm out too", Paolo admitted, slamming his head down on the table.
Only Raul and Zephyr remained, but there were telltale signs that someone was struggling. Zephyr remained stoic, his face a perfect visage of neutrality. Meanwhile, Raul had sweat dripping down the back of his head, his breath was haggard, and his hands trembled. Seeing no change in Zephyr's face, Raul opted to give up, "You win".
A smirk appeared on Zephyr's face, "I believe that is Zephyr: 10, Friends and Michael: 0".
"Hey!", Michael exclaimed, "What do you mean?".
"How do you consistently win in every board and card game that we try? You beat us at Poker, Blackjack, Uno, Monopoly, Catan, and even the Game of Life", Paolo complained.
"Just admit it!", Michael demanded, "You're cheating".
"You're only saying that because he caught you trying to cheat", Raul commented, rolling his eyes at Michael's antics.
"You know what?!", Michael exclaimed as he stood up, "We need to play a sport and prove once and for all that I'm better than Zephyr at something".
Paolo smirked, "That's only because you know he absolutely trounces at anything that requires even a little shred of intelligence".
"That's not true Michael", Raul spoke up, "You're better than Zephyr at being the worst".
"YOU!", Michael yelled in fury, pointing his finger at Raul, "Just because you also got a girlfriend doesn't mean you can bully us bachelors".
"Don't group me with you", Paolo replied, pushing Michael, who attempted to wrap his arm around his shoulder, away, "That's an insult to someone as smart as me".
In response, Michael stuck his tongue out at Paolo. After a few seconds of thinking about it, Michael clapped his hands, "I got it!".
"Got what?", Zephyr asked, resting his chin on his fist as he looked at Michael.
"Stop trying to act cool!", Michael roared.
"Just tell us what your stupid plan is", Raul said.
In response, Michael crossed his arms, "How dare you call my plan stupid? It's nothing short of genius".
"Right", Paolo drawled, "And Zephyr's obviously the stupidest person in our year".
"I'm glad you agree with me", Michael replied, smiling before suddenly realising that he was being sarcastic.
Before he could complain, Zephyr kicked his chair, causing him to topple over and fall face-first onto the floor, "Hurry up and tell us your plan. I don't think I can handle another minute of your stupidity".
"Hey!", Michael complained as he stood up from the floor.
Once again being interrupted, Raul cut in, "Stop being overdramatic for once and just tell us your plan".
"Fine", Michael grumbled, "Let's play basketball".
"Basketball?", the trio asked.
"Yep", Michael explained, puffing his chest out as he did so, "Like all of us, Zephyr plays soccer and as a midfielder, he doesn't use his hands much. So, to make sure he's in the biggest disadvantage possible, we play a sport that has as little to do with our feet and more with the hands, a.k.a basketball".
"You know what?", Raul remarked, "That's not a bad plan".
"I know right", Zephyr agreed.
"Are we sure that's Michael?", Paolo asked as he huddled around Raul and Zephyr.
"You know I'm here right?!", Michael exclaimed, being ignored.
"I think he might have a long-lost twin who killed him and replaced him", Paolo suggested.
"Guys!", Michael said, trying to gain everyone's attention.
"He might've been abducted by aliens and replaced by one of them so they can plan an invasion to take over our planet", Raul added.
"I think I know what happened", Zephyr claimed, "He might've been involved in an accident that did something to his brain so now he's not an idiot".
"That sounds the most plausible", Raul commented.
"I still think my argument is more likely", Paolo countered.
"GUYS!", Michael yelled, "I haven't been abducted by aliens, or been involved in an accident, or been killed and replaced".
"Then how do you explain the good idea you suddenly came up with?", Raul inquired.
"Yeah", Paolo nodded, "Michael's not smart enough to make a plan this good".
"It's really me!", Michael exclaimed, "No alien or long-lost twin is cool enough to replace someone as cool and awesome as me".
"Yep. That's him all right", Zephyr muttered.
"You're right", Raul agreed.
"I don't know why we thought anyone could impersonate this imbecile", Paolo remarked.
"Just shut up and let's go to a basketball court", Michael huffed and exited the room before coming back a second later, "I call dibs on Raul".
"Hey!", Paolo exclaimed as he chased after Michael, "I wanted him!".
Raul turned to look at the relaxed Zephyr and asked, "He forgot that you do swimming".
"Of course he did", Zephyr muttered, still unfazed by Raul's words.
Observing no change in his expression, Raul sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration, "You're really good at basketball, aren't you?"
"You might as well grab a camera to record it", Zephyr advised as he walked past Raul, "Who knows? If you upload it online, it might even become viral".
"I hate you sometimes", Raul complained, walking towards a cupboard and grabbing a camera.
[Time Skip]
"You ready to lose!", Michael yelled as he tried, and failed, to look down at Zephyr who was two inches taller than him.
"Don't worry pipsqueak", Zephyr comforted, "I'll make sure to go easy on you".
"Already making excuses, huh", Michael teased, "Don't worry. I'll make sure not to rub it in your face when I win".
"I think you mean when we win", Raul corrected as he appeared behind Michael.
Gulping, Michael rapidly nodded his head, "Yep. When we win".
"Are you that confident?", Paolo questioned as he walked beside Zephyr, "You're even recording the whole match".
"Of course", Michael proudly answered, puffing his chest, "When I- When we win, I'm going to upload it online so everyone can see how much better than him I am".
"I don't think anyone's going to think that", Paolo commented.
"Of course, they will", Michael countered, throwing the basketball to Zephyr who easily caught it.
As soon as he got the ball, Zephyr began dribbling with the ball. At first, it was some simple and slow dribbles, but with every second, his dribbling got faster and faster, causing Michael's jaw to drop. Having got used to the ball, Zephyr stopped dribbling and began spinning the ball on the tip of his finger. Ignoring the awestruck look on Paolo and Michael's face, he continued, "So. You ready?".
Gulping, Michael decided to display a brave front, "We're not afraid of you".
"Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!", Zephyr erupted into laughter at his words, drawing the attention of the trio with how unique his laugh was. Zephyr's laugh could only be described as a mix of amusement, superiority, and perhaps even a touch of condescension. After managing to reign in his laughter, Zephyr wiped a small tear that had formed at the corner of his eyes, "Wow. That was a good one".
Finally snapping out of his stupor, Raul quickly turned to look at a guy on the sidelines who was holding a camera, "Did you get that Leo?".
"Y-yeah", Leo stuttered slightly, "I got that".
"Now, are you ready to get crushed?", Zephyr asked as he looked at the twitchy form of Michael.
"Is it too late for something else? Maybe table tennis?", Michael tentatively asked, terrified by the prospect of playing against Zephyr.
"What do you think?", Zephyr asked, raising an eyebrow.
[Time Skip]
"Hah", Zephyr released a sigh as he lay down on his bed. However, before relaxing, he blankly gazed up at the ceiling and asked, "What was with that laugh, system? I don't laugh like that".
[Due to the fact that you rolled [Satoru Gojo] and [Gilgamesh] for your double Rare Gacha roll, the admin thought it'd be funny if you inherited a minor characteristic of one of your rolls. After doing a coin flip and landing on heads, he decided to give you Gilgamesh's laugh.]
"What?", Zephyr complained, "No. Give me back my normal laugh".
[That's not possible. I am incapable of reversing the change. The only one capable of doing so is the admin who-]
"Who I can't contact", Zephyr interrupted, "Yeah. I know. But isn't there anything that can be done. I don't want people to think there's something wrong with me when they hear my laugh".
[Worry not host. After analysing the time you've spent in this universe, I have counted that you've only truly laughed four times.]
"That little?", Zephyr muttered, "I thought that I laughed a lot more".
[You've snickered 729 times. You've chuckled 382 times. There were 61 times where you were going to laugh but due to inappropriate location and time, you held it in. As a result, you've only really laughed 4 times]
"That can't be right", Zephyr complained.
[I've gone over the footage 10 times and I can confirm that I am correct.]
Before Zephyr could say anything, Desiree came running into the room. "Zephyr!", Desiree yelled.
"No need to yell", Zephyr muttered, getting up, "I'm right here. What's wrong?".
"A company by the name of Ufotable saw a video of you online and they want to hire you to be the voiceover of some guy named Gilgadouche", Desiree answered.
"Huh", Zephyr muttered, unsure for a second whether he was hearing things right.
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone