Chapitre 63: 22. Numb.
Obviously, it was stupid to assume that Damon, who was really jealous of me, would not touch other women. I didn't want to feel what I felt. I felt betrayed, hurt, dirty, and stupid. Finally, I pulled myself together and let my rage creep back under the surface into armor.
He was fucking others, had been fucking all along, and apparently, Bran's warning that I was just a conquest was spot on. It would be pointless for me to assume that he would be faithful, that I would be enough just for him, that we would have a decent chance at a future as a couple.
But no, This showed and told me that I would always have to share Damon. He would never be mine, and he would probably assume that I was only his and totally faithful. Now, I didn't want sex, not kisses, not a whole man near me. Something in my head had changed, and maybe it was draining all the romance out of me. I also felt Mimosa's rage; she was unhappy about it.
It was good we had no mating bond with Damon yet, and I was becoming convinced that I would probably remain a virgin for many years to come; I didn't want to think about the heat. The whole act seemed so gross, cheap, and dirty, so I lost interest in it.
After a moment of concentration, I felt nothing more.
If he wants to have orgies, and fuck others, then go ahead, for me. I don't need him, not at all.
He was content; the good side was weak, as he knew, and to get stronger, he had to be sure that the love the good side felt for the creature would be corrupted and withered away, and he knew how to do that. The good side didn't know about him, but he was aware, and he wanted to gain the power to obliterate the good side, banish it, and stifle that love that gave strength to the good side.
He had already gained a little foothold, and one day, he would be able to show his power to weaken and defeat the invincible. But he had to get stronger. That love and trust had to be destroyed, corrupted, obliterated, and then the good would weaken enough for him to come to power. He could exist completely. He went close to the invincible. He wondered what it would feel like to throw it down those steep, long stairs; well, it would get better, but it could give pleasure when he got to hurt it.
I took the elevator to the second floor. I didn't want to go down because the elevator would come almost directly into the ballroom. The stairs would lead to the kitchen, and to get blood from the kitchen to the basement.
I was just coming down the stairs when a voice behind me said. "How bad do you think it would be for you, Mimi, if I threw you down these stairs now?"
Damon had come up the other stairs to the top, presumably to get blood or something, and the way he asked that question sent shivers down my spine.
I didn't say anything but went quickly and efficiently down the stairs. I made it down the stairs and into the kitchen. It was creepy.
Damon was walking behind me. I heard his footsteps and got the distinct feeling that he was chasing me. He was stalking me. He made me feel like prey, and I didn't like that feeling one bit. This was same feeling that Wulfe had gotten in me.
Then Damon went into the hall while I went into the kitchen and got a basket; I started collecting a lot of everything in it that didn't need heating. My blood lust declared itself, and my emotions were really high. It felt like I was going to explode.My inner beast was awakened. It wanted to kill too.
I'd filled my food basket and put my drinks in it. I wouldn't be here long. I was just leaving for the cellar when Bran came into the kitchen. Bran was drunk.
I had the basket in my hand and was on my way to the cellar door when he grabbed me, came over to me, and tried to kiss me. I could smell the booze on his breath, and his pants weren't even appropriately zipped.
I dodged him and said, "I don't want to kiss, fuck you stink of booze and sex. Go fuck someone else."
Bran got angry. He took a tighter grip and mumbled something in his drunken voice. I didn't even pay attention and pulled my hand out of his grasp. He faltered slightly, and his eyes looked at me unfocused.
Bran came closer again. He just as suddenly tightened his grip, squeezed so hard it hurt, and pulled me against him.
"You do that again, you little bitch, and I'll put you in a cage." Bran suddenly said in a crystal clear voice.
He wasn't drunk at all, and he looked at me furiously. I felt his stiff cock against me, and I shivered with disgust.
Damon came into the kitchen. He strode over to me and grabbed me.
He said, " Have you been naughty baby? What is it you are jealous of those other bitches when they get me, and you don't, bad thing Baby, yes, I am pretty fucking patient, but no man can wait two years while you keep your legs together and think you are a real catch. It just doesn't work that way, baby; it's a thing where when you get the heat, you get the cock, ready or not, so those legs better start opening up."
Bran said: " The little bitch thinks she's above everyone, she won't even let me kiss her. And she won't give you pussy. Yeah, I guess she thinks she's some kind of princess, which Adam is protecting."
Damon looked at me momentarily and took a big swig from his bottle of bourbon. He sipped and swallowed. I could smell the booze on his breath, and it looked like Damon was drunk and in a good way. But apparently, it was dangerous when he was drunk.
"Really? Baby. Come on, don't be a bitch. Come here, I'll get you a real booze drink, and then you'll open your legs; it'll be an unforgettable first time, you'll remember, I promise it'll be an experience you won't forget, I never said it would be a wonderful experience, but when you're under me, legs spread. My cock deep in your pussy, then you'll know your place. "
I pulled away again as far as I could get in his grip. Damon was still holding me, grabbing my hair and pressing his lips against mine, forcing my mouth open and shoving his boozy tongue into my mouth. I bit it.
Damon screamed. He hit me in the face with his open palm. He'd never hit me before. I was in shock and didn't know what I was supposed to do. I was keeping my rage, my inner beast is check.
He looked at Bran.
He held me and said, "Bitch wants a lesson in manners, one she'll remember."
"Maybe the little bitch wants to be in a cage," Bran said in a cold voice. "Bring that bitch here. I have a cage ready. Let's give her a little attitude training."
Damon grabbed me and quickly captured my hands behind my back. He pulled my hair at the same time, and then he started dragging me down the basement stairs. I struggled, but he grabbed my waist and carried me downstairs.
He was much stronger than me, and he had too good a grip on me; besides, I was still so fucked up. My blood thirst was racing, my emotions were swinging from side to side, and I didn't know what to do. There were several rooms in the basement. Bran had opened one room with an iron padlock. The door was also iron.
Damon dragged me in. There was a silver cage. It wasn't high enough for me to even stand up, but high enough for me to sit down. The bars were very close together, and I could smell the silver all the way to the door. Bran had opened the cage door, and Damon dragged me closer.
I tried kicking and thrashing, but I was smaller, panicked, and confused, so I couldn't really do anything. Damon sank his teeth into my neck and drank my blood greedily and quickly so that I was soon dizzy. He drained me almost empty. Then he put me on my feet when I was too weak to stand.
Suddenly, he ripped open my tee shirt, exposing my breasts. He squeezed my breasts, my nipples, making them come out a little; I tried to hold on in consciousness.
"Come on, Bran, taste them; they're so soft, so sweet," Damon said.
He continued to tease my breasts, but now it was painful, no pleasure at all.
Bran came up to me with a look of lust on his face. He bent down and began to suck and bite my nipples. And my breasts. He bit me until there were wounds and blood. I was in pain and tried to wriggle out. My head was pounding, and my vision was going black, but somehow I stayed conscious.
Damon said: "Don't you just love it when this little bitch fights back? This is such a perfect bitch to have once she spends her time in the cage and learns a better attitude."
Bran finally raised his head. His lips were bloody.
" Mmm. You were right, Damon, so sweet. How about we keep the little bitch in a cage until she gets in heat and then teach her to take a dick in her pussy? And fuck her good."
Damon didn't release his grip. He just moved his other hand and started pinching my already broken nipples. I could feel his cock was hot and hard. He rubbed his hips against my back, pushing his thighs between my legs.
"Not yet bitch. First attitude training, then you'll be begging for my dick when you get out of the cage,"
Finally, Damon slammed me into the cage, and Bran closed the door.
Damon took another swig from his bottle and said to Bran, "Gotta go, so many women to fuck and booze to drink."
"See you again, little bitch; I look forward to seeing you get a rush, then you'll experience something new, my cock in your pussy, and maybe even get pregnant, for me or Damon," Bran said mischievously.
Damon looked at me coldly for a moment, then came closer and said: " One day, Baby, one day I will deal with you and teach you what real pain is, and when that day comes, nothing you have experienced to this day will feel like anything. I promise you that. And I will enjoy it so much and I will let you see it, it's time for you to get to know who I am and what I'm capable of."
His voice was emotionless, and he looked at me like a piece of meat, cold, cruel, and enjoying as he smelled my burning skin as it hit the silver.
Then he turned away, closed the heavy iron door behind him, and left. I was left in the dark basement alone, bloodthirsty, frightened, terrified even. I didn't want the heat, not by a long shot, which seemed to be the one thing I focused on, not getting the heat.
I managed to keep myself fairly well protected from the silver. I was curled up in a ball and had no sense of time. The room was dark and had no windows. I had burns here and there. My blood lust was always present, but the silver was somehow weakened by Mirella just sleeping in her coffin.
I tried not to burn. I just fell asleep at some point, always waking up to some nightmare. I'd stay awake again for a while but always fall asleep in the dark. Emotions surged inside me, from disappointment to rage, from despair to terror, from self-loathing to anger so deep I didn't think it was possible.
I imagined Damon fucking others, talking to them, loving them when he didn't love me. I was sometimes depressed, hopeless and then again a white-hot rage would strike, burning everything away, it burned away all feeling.
Mirella woke up when my rage was on.
She said, "Turn it off, it helps, you don't have to feel. Go ahead, I'll help. It helps with nightmares and everything."
Mirella helped, and I turned off my humanity and didn't care about anything anymore. I turned off all the emotions, and I was just. That way, even the nightmares didn't bother me. I hadn't had nightmares for over a year, and now they were back with a vengeance.
The door opened, and Adam stepped in. He smelled of old booze and sex; he didn't even look at me; he was ashamed and terrified. He opened the cage door without saying a word and left. I crawled out of the cage, walked first, and got three bags of blood.
Mirella had gone back to sleep after I'd finished shutting down my humanity. I trudged up to the kitchen. The house was still full. The party went on, and the smell of sex and booze wafted throughout the house. I'd been in a cage for a week, a silver cage that had my metabolism spiking—a good diet.
I picked up a big basket of food and took the elevator upstairs. I'd get myself in shape; it would take time, but I had time. First, I took a shower and weighed myself, 32 kilos. Lovely. I hadn't weighed this little in a long time—probably months or years. I'd only been at this weight once before, which was pretty soon. It was the second drug facility, the Krycheck facility after Damon had come into the herd. As I recall, I weighed close to 40 kilos when I walked out of there.
I've got to get out of here. Get out. Even though my humanity was off, I had no reason to be here. I drank the blood bags, all three of them, quickly and greedily. I ate and planned what I would do once I properly refueled myself so I wouldn't pass out when my blood sugar dropped too low.
I was in the house for two more days, eating all the time to get my weight up just barely to 36 kilos. I didn't faint anymore. I just wanted to feel the power I had when I decided the life of the bad guys. My inner beast was wide awake. With my vampire side too, and that one wanted to get stronger.
That moment was when all the power was mine, and I acted. I didn't want to be a victim, weak, or unloved. I was the predator at the top of the food chain, and the Mimosa understood, too. I don't know if she took her feelings away, too, but we were ready to kill again—all the gigs. Then I called Reddington and asked for the killing gigs.
I knew I had to eat and eat well. I had to be okay. I had to feel the power. My job now was to eat and kill. I left without saying a word. I had watched two days of constant fucking, how all the men took the women into one bedroom and came out, and then it was the next woman's turn. Even Damon could take three and come away exhausted and happy.
He probably had an enviable libido in the eyes of other men, but my vampire side didn't want sex. It just wanted power and blood. It wanted to kill, to take the lives of its victims and enjoy it. But I didn't want to kill anyone by drinking them to death, the shooting, the seduction, the deception. That was what mattered. My inner beast wanted to kill as well. See light go out from their eyes.
I took my motorcycle, loaded it up, and drove away. I decided to start in Nevada, Las Vegas, always good gigs and good food. Always the power. My vampire side was straightforward. It was just killing. The moment I shot, I saw the life go out; I heard the heart stop. That was what made me feel strong. After two weeks, I was already 44 kilos and had made my list.
I was fast, seductive, and efficient. Now I didn't hesitate to touch my victim. Now I had no inhibitions on how to get the victim to come with me the fastest. I asked for more money gigs, which were sniper gigs. I went to Los Angeles. I did my job well, but it felt like nothing this time.
He was happy; this second one helped him get him to the surface and actually helped him stay afloat. It helped him destroy the love, the trust, and the infatuation that the invincible had had for the good side. There was no more. He had become stronger, and now he would manipulate the good one into thinking that he had done it all himself. The evil one knew how to hide, so the good one didn't know him. The good one just assumed he was part of it. The evil one manipulated the good one to remember everything, to feel everything, and as he felt the good one repent and weaken, he knew this was the key to his power. It was going to be a fight but he won, the invincible had gone off to kill and naughty suspected that the invincible's vampire side was more in play. He would win.
Damon felt he was the lowest creature in the world. He didn't even understand why he fucked strangers when he hadn't fucked in almost a year and was trying to hold out until he could get Mimi into bed. He remembered everything but couldn't understand why he had treated Mimi like that.
He had ruined everything, and he was aware of Mimi's vampire side, and now he realized Mimi needed his guidance and support. Bran had insisted on a party and had made Damon go along with it when Bran had explained that it might be a while before Mimi would agree to bed, and Damon was only hurting himself by not relieving the pressure to have sex without feelings.
Yes, he knew he was talking to the girls every time he fucked, but when he didn't mean a word, it was just what they were supposed to talk about making them give. And why they had put Mimi in a silver cage and he had let Bran hurt Mimi?
When he had been so careful all along, Mimi had felt nothing but pleasure and trusted him completely. Bran had been utterly silent after Adam had yelled at them both for hours. Adam had been furious when Bran had drunkenly confessed what they had done to Mimi. He hadn't remembered when, how many days ago.
Adam had been furious ever since he'd found Mimi in the cage. He'd set her free, hadn't said a word, and had gone out drinking, not fucking. Adam had a temper, and that was also his weakness. He grabbed the bottle too fast.
He couldn't stand the sight of Mimi. It was as if something had gone out, and she'd gone off the deep end. He cursed to himself that he'd let her down and that he'd just looked at the messages and told her not to come. But Bran had insisted on having the party here in Ohio, and had he known she was coming?
A week later, he had finally gotten the party over with and the women out of there. When the booze had run out, and he had suffered a hangover for a day, then he had acted. He had ordered cleaners, repairmen, and a caterer because the fridge was empty, and no one could go to the store. Samuel had left with Charles. Samuel had been quiet when he had told him about Mimi's condition, but there was nothing he could do about it as he had problems at the clinic, and Mimi was not in the house. Nobody knew where Mimi was going,
Adam said venomously. "I don't blame; I don't blame Mimi if she never wants to see any of us again, especially you two. You betrayed Mimi; you threw her in a fucking cage and threatened to fuck her; there's a CCTV camera in the ceiling, so I saw what happened. "
He continued. Staring, " That girl didn't deserve it; what the fuck were you thinking? Certainly no sense or manners. I no longer know how little Mimi weighed coming out of the cage. Well done. Really well done. There was something seriously wrong with her, I could feel it, but I couldn't do anything about it because I was so fucking ashamed."
Damon knew now that he had fucked up and badly. Maybe time would help, maybe not, but what he could do? What Mimi's situation was. He realized how vulnerable Mimi had been; she'd been a vampire for two weeks with no one to advise her, and Damon himself hadn't talked to Mimi much, even on the phone.
Bloodlust is one thing, but then again, all emotions are much stronger, and he could only guess what Mimi must have been feeling. He'd been aware that Mimi was going to be a vampire when Samuel had called, and he'd had a plan to help her, but when Mimi was on the gig, he'd been on the gig and then the fucking party.
He remembered how he'd smelled her bloodlust when he'd put her in the cage and how he'd drunk her almost dry. Well, if a vampire with a bloodlust gets sucked almost dry, it just makes it worse. He'd made the biggest mistake of all, and he should try to fix it. At least somehow, somehow, her not wanting to be with him or was just coldly distant made Damon's heart almost break. He had to try to make things right.
Bran said: "We were drunk. Mimi will forgive us. We'll explain it to her, and now she can have her holiday. The poor girl doesn't have to do gigs all the time. She just has to learn that we men, males, are different from humans, and sex is just a way to relieve pressure. There's no emotion involved, just physical pleasure."
Adam said: "I hope, I really hope, she forgives me because she's not answering her phone either. As for the explanations, I don't think she was so bothered by you or even me fucking others, but Damon, you should have kept your fucking pants on."
Damon nodded. He knew.
Bran looked for a moment and said: " She'll come round. Mimi can't cope on her own. She'll do the gigs for a while, and we'll put her on the message, and she'll get back to the pack, and you can look after her again. She still needs it. "
Damon said quietly, " Don't be so sure. Mimi will do just fine on her own. She has no problem being on her own. This was an excellent time for her to become independent."
Bran said: " Where would she go or what would she do? She hasn't got houses or money indefinitely. She's good, but the money is spent on hotels and petrol. She's spent quite a bit of it on guns. As Damon knows. Mimi doesn't have quite that much control over her life yet."
Adam said: " Hey, she's asked Reddington for gigs, and she's already done them. They are money and money can be spent, even staying in a hotel for a week or so, and a pleasant hotel. Mimi is a fucking great sniper. One sniper gig can bring in up to a couple hundred thousand. And Mimi can do quite a lot of them. So she's got money. And plenty of it. "
Adam's voice oozed scorn. For some reason, Bran disgusted him now. Damon did too, but not as badly. Maybe because Damon was remorseful, Bran wasn't.
Bran said, " Well, if the lady is earning so well, then maybe she should pay her fair share of the Marrok tax. "
Adam said, "I'll pay our packs of taxes. Don't even think about getting your hands on Mimi's money."
Damon said. "I'm going after Mimi. I'll protect her as much as I can, and maybe somewhere along the way, she'll decide to come home. I'll try to make contact and see where we're going. I have to do something."
With that said, Damon got up and started to stride upstairs. He packed his bags there and asked Reddington for Mimi's last known whereabouts. Reddington handed Damon Mimi's lists, and there Damon saw how fucking fast Mimi had already killed, and he couldn't help but feel a restless, cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hoped it wasn't what he feared, but he would have to see Mimi first.
Damon came downstairs and said to Adam, "I'll call you when I find her. It may take some time, and I hope I'm wrong, but I have a pretty fucking bad feeling. I'll let you know if it turns out to be true."
Damon didn't say a word to Bran and went to his car. Soon, he drove away. Bran looked after Damon for a while, sighing. He'd found something in Damon that he wanted to look into, but it was gone again. He was curious and one day, he'd find it again.
Bran said: "We'd better go to Canada, Adam. There's an alpha crisis there. You drive."
Adam said, "Now you're going to fucking go on your own. I'll go to Chicago and get my business back on track. And I hope Damon gets Mimi back."
Bran sighed and went to his car. He didn't like to drive but now he had to as Charles was taking out alphas who didn't play by his rules. Charles was an excellent asset to him and he didn't want to lose him.
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone