Chapitre 18: Chapter 17- Panic Attack

Presley's Point Of View;

We left the apartment immediately and I followed Mitchum. He talked about all he and his friends did that evening. He told me how after lunch he, Lucus, and James went sightseeing in the city. They had planned to go to the train station where students get a free pass to ride. They took it until they reached one of the landmarks like Harris Square and tried the street food around there. He told me that he'd send me the pictures and recordings he got squirrels, butterflies, and even uniquely colored plants.

I guess I use to be fond of those things but they just don't matter to me very much anymore. He went on to tell me how Lucus tried to climb up a tree to get a picture. But the branch broke and he ended up landing on James instead. I guess that would have been funny to see. Then he went on to say that they toured an open house that was home to the city's first diplomats. Apparently, James knew the tour guide so they were able to get in and meet the coordinator.

After all of that, they came back here. It sounded like they had a lot of fun. I just listened to him talk and said something ever so often so he knew I was listening. I'm glad for him, at least there's something that brings him joy. The less time he spends around me the better. I wonder how long they were planning to go out? I guess it was just for Mitchum and them. That's fine, it's better I didn't go cause I would be too nervous walking around in this city to enjoy anything.

I would have felt out of place among them. As I continued listening to Mitchum I have to admit that this campus is so much bigger than our high school. It seemed like were walking a good while now. Even though it was a rather warm evening my hands were becoming cold. It seemed like they were at a different temperature than the rest of me. My breathing was becoming a little more uneven than it was earlier. It felt like I wasn't getting enough air and I could hear my heart pounding as my chest hurt.

Mitchum was talking and although I responded to what he said with head nods, I felt like I would soon faint. This was an all too familiar feeling but it terrified me each time. I've never actually fainted from it before. I should have stayed home; I don't want to be seen like this.

Mitchum tapped my shoulder and I think he asked me if I was alright. I tried to get myself together nod yes. He seemed to say something else but I couldn't really focus on having a conversation now. I looked forward and saw Amelia standing outside.

She looks different from this morning. For one thing, she wasn't wearing her dark shades. Her eyes were brown just like mine and she wore a white sun dress. She seemed a little taller than I had remembered her but it could be because of the cream-colored broad heels she was now wearing. Her light hazel hair was all down but she also looked more relaxed than she was this morning.

She also had a golden Labrador Retriever with her on a light green leash. He stood right by her side and panted. I didn't know this school allowed dogs. But that wasn't my concern at the moment. I wanted to avoid answering any more probing questions from Mitchum. So I walked ahead over to her. I hoped when Mitchum saw this he would notice Amelia standing there and focus on her. It would take all my strength just to say something so she knew I was here.

"I'm here," I said as my voice quivered.

She turned he head towards me as she followed my voice. "Whose me?" she replied and I took a deep breath fighting to get enough air to say my name.

"Oh, you sound different. Did you run here?" I didn't know how to answer that but by then Mitchum had come over to us. I couldn't really pay very much attention to what they were talking about anymore. It was like in my head someone was screaming and I was the only one who could hear it. I folded my arms and stood back to let Mitchum talk to her.

Mitchum: Hi, you must be the person that invited Presley, He bought me along because I'm a Biochemistry student. I'm so glad to be here.

Amelia: Don't worry, after a year that feeling will go away. I'm Amelia Marina Morgan and you are?

Mitchum: I'm Mitchum Charles

Amelia: OK Mitchum I'm glad Presley bought you along also. It will be a good experience for you as a Biochemist.

Mitchum: Thanks, so what's your dog's name?

Amelia: October and for short I call him Octo

Mitchum: You named him after a month of the year?

Amelia: Yep, that's the month that I got him in. Octo is the Latin word for it

Mitchum: You know Latin?

Amelia: My mom taught it to me. She's a teacher of Roman mythology so I guess it came with the territory. But enough talk about names. Let's go in and meet the other contestants.

I saw Amelia get her cane that she had leaned against the hedge behind her. So I knew it was time to start moving. As it turned out the place where we had to go in was across from us. I still hadn't managed to relax but the feeling wasn't at its peak point anymore. I remembered reading online once that when you feel this way you should focus on controlling your breathing.

I was doing that all through the process by taking in deep breaths. I knew it wasn't the first time this has happened to me but I hate being in public when it does. I wish I had some water with me at least. My throat felt so dry and clogged. This chest-tightening feeling didn't help either. It's a good thing I missed lunch today or I would have defiantly thrown up already.

I continued to quietly follow them despite the way I felt as Amelia took us backstage. I hoped this feeling would pass quickly. I tried to pay attention the best I could but I felt slightly dizzy. It was like everything that was happening was too much. If I just continue walking with them no one would notice. I still remained quiet because I knew it would be heard in my voice if I spoke.

I exhaled slowly and inhaled to repeat the process. But I lost focus when I heard the noise of a guy yelling. That was like my trigger, all of that anger reminded me of everything that I can't talk about. I felt my hands start shaking but now is not the time to wimp out. My dad isn't here and that guy isn't mad at me

"And from what I can hear that's Bertie Taksheel over there." I heard Amelia say to both Mitchum and me.

"Do you mean the guy in the sports jacket yelling at that other dude?" Mitchum said turning to see the guy. I looked also and saw the guy was of average height which is the same as Mitchum. So slightly taller than me but he was much more muscular. Along with a Varsity red and white sports jacket, he wore dark jeans and black sneakers. He had a complexion that could fit in between Mitchum and me. A girl was also standing next to him but she was completely covered up by her hood and her head hung down. Betie was holding the other much smaller-built guy by the collar.

On seeing us watching he pushed the guy off and shouted, "Leave now! I don't want you hanging around here."

The other guy fell to the ground causing his glasses to almost do the same as the rest of him. Then he scrambled to get up and bolted out from backstage. What did that guy do that triggered such a reaction?

"Yep, that's Bertie for you. He's on the college football team, and the school council has a Chemistry scholarship and somehow managed to win this competition for each term during the past 2 years. This is his 3rd and I'd like for you both to meet him." Amelia answered like she was reading my mind.

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