Chapitre 83: Chapter 80
" What're you doing?"
He chuckled and drew his hand back, then he crossed his arms and held my gaze.
" I was hoping we could help each other out. "
" How's that?"
" Do you have somewhere we can sit and talk?"
I appreciated the formality of his tone, but it also rose up questions in my head. He was making it clear that whatever he wanted to tell me was serious.
I didn't know him, I knew his music and whatever information we got about him from the internet, but other than that we were the definition of strangers. But once again my curiosity took over, I looked around, wondering where he could sit, then I gestured for him to come over to my side. I went to the piano and uncovered it, wiping the bench afterwards and sitting on one end. He came over and occupied the other side, sitting with his legs on either side. It felt somehow wrong for someone that wasn't Austin to be sitting there, and that feeling only intensified when he began playing that instrument, but I couldn't stop him. So I just watched in silence until he began to talk.
" First of all I wanna clarify that I wasn't intentionally eavesdropping, I just happened to be there and heard you and your friend talking. "
He said after he stopped playing. My eyes slightly widened and I felt uncomfortable all over again. I had feared that he'd eventually bring that up, and now that he had I didn't want anything to do with that conversation. It was true that I had basically already come out. I might not have publicly declared it with my words but my actions were loud enough. Everyone was now sure of it and I was okay with that, but that didn't mean I wanted to be sitting there discussing my sexuality with a famous singer who had just happened to overhear my personal information.
" What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, facing away from him because it felt like he was trying to intimidate me with his stare, he was hardly blinking.
He took off his baseball cap and blew out a breath, his har was still in a ponytail, but the shade was currently darker than how it had been the previous night.
" I may or may not be going through something similar, I just need someone to talk to because otherwise I'll lose it entirely. "
I didn't try hiding my shock. I had so many assumptions about what he was planning on telling me but that was definitely not part of them. The first thing I had assumed was that he was definitely trying to hit on me. I had even come up with what I was going to tell him inorder to turn him down. I narrowed my gaze. I was well aware that he had dated a number of girls, the most recent one being less than a month ago.
" I don't know how you expect me to help you, " I said it in the purest way I could. And I really was clueless. I was just as confused as him so there was no way I was going to be of any assistance. He smiled, placing his cap on the space between us and letting his palms rest on his thighs, then he told me that I didn't have to worry. That he hadn't gone to me for advise or anything like that, that he only needed someone to listen to him. Someone who didn't know him personally and wouldn't judge him for anything he said. I was still conflicted, but I knew that turning him down would make me look like a bad person, and all he wanted to do was talk. He had four other very close band members who he could have gone to but he had come to me instead. Saying no would have been selfish, I recalled a time when all I wanted was someone to hear me out as well. But I lacked the courage to speak out to anyone regardless of how close we were. And it was a slow day at the store anyways, I nodded and told him to go ahead.
AUSTIN'S POV
I parked my bike in front of the local hospital and got off. Looking around because the establishment was large and I had no clue where exactly to go. I spotted the entrance and rushed in.
My dad has called me that night, and I had assumed he had calmed down and was back to being a patronizing tyrant, so I had ignored the call. But then he called me again and I decided to just reply. Apparently there was something wrong with Khloe. He had sounded shaken when telling me that, the sort of voice I had only ever heard him use once before while my mom had been lying on a hospital bed fighting for the life she had already lost. He always tried to act strong so hearing that fear had made me drop everything and rush to where he was. It was something to do with the bay was all he had said. And I prayed that everything was okay.
I found him seated in the waiting room, his head buried in his hands.
" Dad?" I called out, he immediately looked up. Visible shadows and worry lines masking his face, he immediately stood and hugged me. I was caught off guard so instead of hugging him back I froze. In the last five years, I doubt I had ever embraced him. It felt foreign and odd, I placed my hand on his back and cautiously asked him what had happened.
" She was in the kitchen..then she just started howling in pain..."
When it came to comforting people, I ranked last on the list. I was extremely terrible at it, words just never came and I ended up just staring at you as I wondered what to do and say to make you feel better. I had only ever been good at making Kyle feel better, but that was natural instinct.
" I'm sure she'll be fine, these things happen during pregnancy. "
Did they? I wasn't sure, but I decided to just tell him that so that he'd stop looking so grim. He sat back down and I did the same. And then there was this awkward silence where we both looked at anything but each other. A very solid brick wall was between us. There was absolutely no way for me to reach him, I felt strange just sitting there next to him.
I thought about Khloe. I know I had never made any efforts to get closer to her but I never wanted anything bad to happen to her. And for the very first time I actually thought if the baby she was carrying and it dawned on me that it would be my sibling. An actual brother or sister. I'm pretty sure in their heads, they assumed I wasn't going to care much for him or her, that I actually wished she hadn't gotten pregnant in the first place.
But that really wasn't the case.
I hadn't even been there for ten minutes when the doctor came out. He was wearing this small reassuring smile which automatically put my heart at ease. Then he told.my dad there was nothing to worry about. They had run all the tests and everything was as it should be. Plus she was way too early in her pregnancy to worry about premature birth. Itnwas just some sort of spasm or something of the sort and she had possibly freaked out because she was worried about something bad happening. In other words, her pregnancy was making her overthink every tiny little thing. The doctor's advice was to provide her with a 'conducive environment' during her pregnancy. To ensure she wasn't too stressed out about anything because her mental health wasn't at its best.
I personally felt bad. Khloe always tried with me. I had been convinced that she was faking it, but earlier inhad come to learn that my school had called home to ask why I was absent yet again and she has literally covered up for me and said I woke up with a serious fever.
She wasn't too bad I suppose...
My dad was allowed to see her. I noted how he didn't even ask me if I wanted to join. he just told me I could leave if I wanted and then walked into her room. I didn't know why but I felt sort of offended. I mean, I had gone there at such short notice to see her after all. I wasn't some sort of unfeeling bastard, I might not have ever completely liked her but I did care to a certain unnoticeable extent. For him to just assume that I didn't really care what happened to her was sort of harsh. But it also made me realize the kind of view they had of me, and that I couldn't blame them because I was the one that had created that image of myself in their heads. I sat down for a few minutes to give them some time alone, then I finally stood up and walked to the door, I knocked and peered inside. The second she saw me, Khloe smiled this warm and kind smile. Actually, before then, I used to refer to it as manipulative, but now I could see that it was truly genuine. Everyone who met her liked her instantly, she never had to do anything. Had she been just my dad's friend when I was younger, I was certain I would have loved her as well.
" Austin! You're here..."
That shocked doubt again. They were seriously making me feel like I was an honestly horrible person. Which I was sure I was not. Deep down I knew there was still a slither of hope. I now had my Kyle back and things were a lot better than they had ever been. I had no reason to be bitter.
" Sorry, can I come in?"
She immediately nodded, then she beckoned me over with her hand, her eyes smiling. I could tell she was asking herself whether that was really happening. Even when I got to the bed and stood next to her on the side opposite my dad's, she still seemed a bit doubtful.
" How're you feeling?"
" I'm good now. I just had a bit of a scare. "
" You should rest more, maybe it's because you run around the house too much. "
She smiled almost shyly and bowed her head. It was the first time I had willingly showed her any sort of positive affection. The only other times had been when I passively offered to do a task for her because she wasn't in the right condition to get it done.
" I'm sorry you had to come all the way here. I'm sure you had things to do. "
" It's okay...." for a tiny second there, I was about to say something about how she was still my family so of course I'd be there, but God! That pride wouldn't let me. Those words just refused to come out. I was sure that if I said them, I would feel completely awkward, and then I'd start wondering how I was supposed to act around her. Because there was no way I could tell her such a thing and then continue treating her the same way I had been. But at least I had realized that she indeed wasn't some evil stepmother whose main intention was to push me away from my father. Those were just wrong presumptions I had jumped into as a child who had recently lost his mom and happened to watch a but too many movies. And the most important thing which I couldn't deny was the fact that my dad truly did love and care for her. He didn't treat her the same way he used to treat my mom, but that didn't mean that he didn't care. His actions proved that she was just as important to him as I was...same to the child she was carrying.
" Thank you for being here...both of you, " she reached out and held my dad's hand. She didn't dare do the same with mine, and because I was trying to turn over a new leaf, I lightly pressed her shoulder, then I just as quickly withdrew and crossed my arms. Those small actions really seemed to please her. All those years her primary objective had been to get me to at least like her. She would do everything she thought I'd like but I always shut her down.
I'd try to change, to be a little bit better. I asked her whether there was anything she wanted me to do, assuring her it was no bother when she was clearly about to say she didn't want to bother me. Then she said she wanted something to eat, something salty in particular.
" I'll ask your doctor first, we should confirm whether you're supposed to eat --" my dad began but she told him she had already done so and he had told her there was nothing wrong with it.
I nodded, then I walked out after my dad gave me some cash to buy whatever she wanted, as long as something for myself. I was keeping a close eye on the time as well. I had to go and pick Kyle up at the store. I just never felt alright knowing that he was walking home alone that late at night, anything could happen and I wouldn't be there. It would be better if he waited for me after he closed up instead of walking in all that darkness all by himself. And I didn't like how late it was already getting, I still had to go all the way there. I quickly bought everything I had to from the hospitals canteen, and after I took it back to the hospital room, Kyle texted me.
He said there was no need for me to go and get him, that a friend of his had passed by to buy something and had volunteered to drive him home. I didn't like that one bit. The first thing I asked myself was what friend he was referring to. I only knew of Kira and Max and I had never seen either of them with a car. He didn't talk to that many people. And it might sound inconsiderate, but I would have preferred if he just stayed right there and turned down the offer.
" What friend?" I sent back. I knew the names of everyone he talked to. And unless the person wasn't from school then I was sure I'd recognize the name. But then he replied and I felt even worse.
"You don't know him, I'll call you when I get home. "
I tightened the hold I had on my phone. It was someone I didn't know...but the level of possessiveness I felt was feral. Lethal. Completely unreasonable.
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone