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So like...what if I found a planet and just...reshape it into a penis? That sounds like a fun idea. That sounds like a great idea.
Penises are hilarious! All...squishy and floppy and...what was I doing again? Oh right. Penis Planet™ was going to be a thing. I feel like this was a revolutionary idea. Cause like...Penis Planets and...like...they could fuck another planet and then a new planet will be born!
Is that how planets work? Fuck if I know...I never made a planet before...shit.
I should make a planet. Like...how cool would that be? Just make a planet...shaped like a penis. That sounds like a wonderful idea! And...and if I made the planet then...then...um...what was I doing again?
Right. Penis Planet™ will be my planet and Time Bitch won't be able to stop me from doing whatever I want with it...because...um...because it's MY planet and I made it all by myself! Yeah. That's it.
Shit this actually sounds like a great idea. A planet made by me with all the rules I get to choose...wait...fuck the rules! I'm Bill Cipher and I do what I want!
They can say "Oh no~you can't make a planet shaped like a penis! Its unstable and the gravitational forces will be unstable and-" sssshut up! Gravity is a fuckin' lie! Who's the person who said that? Im'ma turn 'em into a...a...shit...what's that word again? 鱼? 金鱼? Goldfish! Yes. That is the word.
Heh. Gold. Heheh. See it's funny because I'm gold and like...
Nevermind you don't get it.
What was I doing again...?
Right. Penis planet™ goddamit I really need to focus. So like...makin' my own planet. That's something I can do right? Aw...but can I make life on it? Uwu~maybe I can ask Ax for help! I mean...he'll support my idea right?
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Well Ax is just making weird noises and covering his face. Um...oh! That must mean he approves! Hot day~!
Penis planet™ is go!
Wait Ax why are you turning away? Ax come back~
Wow. In all my years I have never seen Ax swim that quickly. I can barely even see him in the distance now. Bye Ax~
I wonder what was so important he actually got up to go to it? Well, whatever. Dude where should I build this Penis planet™? I could build it here...I wonder if Ax would mind? He's got plenty of Space here.
Heheheh. Space.
See it's funny because Space.
Oh my gosh! I should TOTALLY build my Penis planet™ here! It'll be great. There'll be an amazing landmark in this drab, cloudy place...
Oh hey. Ax is swimming back now. Hi Ax~
Eh? Wait. What are you doing Ax? Ax? Why're you grabbing me? Wait! Wait! What are you-?!
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He...THREW ME! HE FUCKING THREW ME!
He threw me through like...358 different dimensions! It was...
IT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!
Dude.
What a rush. Better than any roller coaster I've ever been on. That speed! That velocity! I think I broke the light barrier, I was travelling so fast. Holy fuck.
I never knew Ax has such a good throwing arm. Who knew, that under that soft and squishy pink skin was some SWOL ass muscles? Where have I ended up?
Oh. Yeah. This is a good place to build. Cool. Thanks Ax~
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Ok. So making a planet penis shaped is easy enough.
Making it STAY penis shaped is harder.
No. No. No! Stop curling in on yourself! Stop crumbling and being pulled back into a ball! Stupid lopsided oval thing. I snarl in frustration and reach out to pull at the planet again. Wait, what if I just...
Madness Bubbles everywhere.
Yes! That actually helps the Penis planet™ hold its shape rather well. Yay! Another victory for me! I high five myself and then feel utterly sad and alone. But it's ok. I still have YOU giant penis shaped planet!
And...if I just leave it alone for a while it'll form life! What kind of life will form from a planet shaped like a penis? Oh? It looks like the combination of my Madness Bubbles has caused life to form more quickly?
What did I put in those bubbles again?
Oh right. Porn.
Erm...
Well...it looks like my Penis planet™ has formed...humans? Not really. They just look like humans. They were created from the illusionary forms I placed inside the bubbles after all. Hm...their society is much like what Earth would have been in the modern 2017's.
Just...with porn physics.
The entire planet is a porno. Huh. Why did this happen? Oh woe is me~I just cannot understand why an innocent planet (shaped like an errect cock and balls) and given life through the lewd Nightmares I've collected over the centuries could become a porn planet. How could such a thing happen?
I couldn't help jerking off to some of the things happening on the planet though. Dude. I should videotape this shit and sell porn on the Void markets. Apparently porn is illegal to buy so it can only be found in various underground circles.
I could make millions from this shit. This is GOLD right here. Sexy, erotic gold.
I absently sent a tiny madness bubble, modified into a recording bubble, down into the planet to follow around whoever seemed to have the most interesting lives. It was weird because they've all only existed for like...a few hours, and yet the people living on Penis planet™ have false memories and histories and backstories.
That's cool I guess.
Man. I'm tired. Creating my own planet really took it out of me. I droop exhuastedly and Blink my way home.
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"Bill! Where the hell have you BEEN?!"
"Hey Roni~"
Pyronica picks me up by my leg and I dangle in her claws while giggling. Wee~
"Dammit Bill! You drank several bottles of alcohol and then just disappear! What the hell have you been up to?!"
"I don't see him on any of the major news channels aside from several reported cases of seeing him flying past a planet at high speeds." Amorphous Shape remarks as he flips through the channels on TV.
"Bill, you're not allowed to get drunk without us around. Okay?" Pyronica shakes me and I flop around gracelessly.
"Oh hey Roni. When did you get here?" I asked her blearily.
She groans in frustration and drops me into a couch. "Just..lie there until this works it's way out of your system."
"Okay~" I cuddle into a pillow and relaxed. As my vision faded in and out I hear Ammy remark "Found it. Scientists are horrified to discover a new planet seemingly formed within hours. Many are questioning life as they know it due to the impossible configuration of this new world they have tentatively named "Phallus" and will be sending exploration ships to attempt contact with the natives."
I hear a slapping sound and Pyronica's muffled voice going "Dammit Bill."
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