I stood on the brink of something I couldn' t describe. The weight of everything seemed to press down on my shoulders and I struggled to take even a single step forward. It was too much. All of it. And somehow, I kept moving. But every step cost me. The darkness grew darker; the pain grew sharper; all of it seemed to only grow in strength and I began to wonder if things could ever get better. But I never said a word. Sometimes I wonder if that smile, the horribly fake smile is ever seen through. If someone ever notices that sad, broken look in my eyes that I see in the mirror. If they see beauty where I see ugliness. And then I laugh, a bitter, sarcastic laugh, at myself. Nobody cares, no one notices. They never seem to, do they? I' ve fought for years. I just march on. I decided to go get drunk and forget every single thing that caused me pain. Starting from the day I got constantly abused by him. Starting from the day the love of my life was taken away from me. I wanted to forget all of it just for a day. I dressed up in my sorrowful dress and wore a pair of sad face that compliment my sorrowful outfits.Who cares about how I look, I just wanted to get drunk. I went to grand nightclub hoping I wouldn't see a familiar face. The thought of getting drunk made my adrenaline high. I can hear the music blaring as I stand in line. It was freezing outside, but I was close to the front of the line. I wrap my arms around myself and move forward. I had no problem getting inside with my fake I. D and once I was inside, my eyes have to adjust to the darkness. There were multicolored flashing lights on the dance floor, but they were not bright enough to reach beyond that. It was very crowded. As I make my way to the bar, dancing sweaty bodies press and rub up against me. I did not mind though, it was the fastest way across the room. I felt their eyes on me as I pass. I always feel a little out of place at places like this. After I down a drink or two, I grab a few complimentary glow stick jewelry and head for the dance floor. I was sober enough to know I got all the guy's eyes looking at my ass shaking uncontrollably. My best friend says I dance like a gorilla on fire in an anthill, but I don't t care. The thought of some hot boy grabbing me from behind made me hotter. I had a few more drinks and I was 100% high. I couldn't control my own legs as I stumble against a hard chest of some hot sexy guy. The hot sexy guy turned out to be Bradley. My smile turned to a frown and I felt like throwing up. I ran out to a nearby toilet to empty my stomach. Bradley followed me checking if I was okay. And he finally said a word to me. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I'm fine! just leave me the fuck! alone" I screamed at him as I loose my shit. Why does he always be in places like this? I wasn't getting myself at that moment. I started seeing things and I started saying things I shouldn't have said. "Angel! please don't leave me again" I said as I pull Bradley to myself. He looked at me with a confused look. I didn't know what I was thinking when I said this, "Please make love to me, Angel" "What the fuck! is wrong with you I think I need to take you home" I assumed the voice was for Bradley. I couldn't walk properly so he carried me into his car and I don't think I remembered what happened after then. ******* I woke up and met myself in someone else's bed. The first thing that came into my mind was to check beneath the bed cover and I found out that I was completely dressed in someone else's clothes not naked. The moment I stood up from the bed, Bradley came into to room. "What am I doing here?" "And what were you thinking that you got yourself drunk in a club?" "Mind your own business!" "Well if I had done that, I don't think you will still be breathing now" "And how does that affect you?" "Why don't you let me in?" "Cause I don't need your help or anyone's help" "Why do something keep telling me, you're lying?" I kept quiet for a while, I didn't know what to do anymore. It seems like everything around me was falling apart. I just wanted to hide from everyone and be by myself I couldn't hide the tears that well up in my eyes. Without even noticing it, a drop of tears escape from my eyes. I quickly wipe my tears away but it was too late. Bradley sat close to me and he gave me one of those tight hugs I needed at that moment. I lean into his hug and I cried even more as I let out all the pains I was feeling. I wanted to tell him everything but I felt I will be putting his life in danger. He stopped hugging me and kissed me on my forehead. It felt relaxing. "I made breakfast let's go to the kitchen to eat". He pulled me up and led me into his kitchen, there was a small table and two chairs to sit. I sat on one of the chairs and waited for him to serve me. He served me a plate of pancakes and bacon. With a cup of milk. He sat with me and we both munch on the food. I had my shower in his bathroom and he lend some clothes. The clothe was a lady's dress. "Whose dress is this? Or do you have a girlfriend?" "Of course not it's my mum's dress I took one of it so I wouldn't miss her that much. But it looks so good on you I would rather prefer you having it" he smiled graciously "Wow! Thanks it's lovely but I'm not not keep it"
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