Chapitre 59: What Changed After Starting to Date
"Come to think of it, Fujimiya, I know you started dating
Shiina after Sports Day, but has anything else about you
changed?"
The school sports grounds were unusable due to the long
spell of rain, so the girls were having gym indoors while the
boys had health class. Just as their teacher left the
classroom, the student sitting in front of Amane asked him
that question.
It was just a guess, but Amane figured the inquiry was
prompted by their teacher's warning that since Sports Day
was behind them, it was time to focus on their studies. As far
as Amane was concerned, his attitude in class was the same
as ever, or maybe even more serious than before, so he
hadn't thought those words were directed at him. But the
mention of Sports Day must have unconsciously reminded
the other boys of him.
The rest of the boys must have been curious, too, because
they all turned to face him, which gave Amane some mixed
feelings.
"Well, I've started getting ambushed like this at school,"
he muttered.
"Sorry. But other than that? How far have you two gone?"
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"…We've hardly done anything," Amane replied. "At most,
we've started walking home together and stuff."
About two weeks had passed since Amane and Mahiru
had started dating, but nothing had really changed. After all,
they had plenty of physical contact before making it official,
and Mahiru was still coming over to his apartment like
always.
If he had to name something, it would be that he had been
trying to make more deliberate physical contact, but as far as
their daily lives were concerned, things were still the same.
"No way!"
"Why would I need to lie about that?"
"Well, I mean, come on…"
"Look—"
"Shiina's fallen so hard for you, so, like, I thought you'd be
fooling around more or something."
"Fooling around…? Not really; stuff like that is—"
"Amane! You're such a prude. We can't count on you for
any juicy stories." Itsuki had apparently overheard the
conversation from nearby. "You know, any normal couple
would be fooling around… You two are unbelievable!" he
said, exasperated.
Amane stared daggers at his friend, but Itsuki just
laughed, not at all bothered.
"…I don't even know how to respond to that. I'm not going
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to force us to do things just because it's what couples are
supposed to do. Everything's like it always was."
"So that means you guys have always been fooling around,
right?"
"Listen here—"
"I think Yamazaki's got a point," Itsuki insisted. "You
might think you're being careful, but it's plain for everyone
to see. Even when I try to stop you two, you flirt. So I figured
if that's you guys trying to tone it down in public, you must
be even more flirtatious at home."
Amane didn't mean to do so, but he had ended up making
the case that he and Mahiru had always been intimate. He
started to insist it wasn't how it sounded but knew the other
boys probably wouldn't listen anyway, no matter what he
said.
"Wait, what do you mean 'at home'…?"
Amane cursed silently as the boys surrounding him
started to make a fuss. Too late, he realized Itsuki had added
some unnecessary information.
"Shiina is usually over at Amane's place, and I bet when
they're alone they flirt like crazy. They're already way past
dating; they're practically married, man."
"Itsuki…"
"If you try to hide it, people are gonna suspect something,
so I'll just go ahead and say it. Some people have already
spotted you going back to the same apartment building, so
really, I'm just setting the record straight before you end up
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with a bad reputation."
Itsuki gave Amane a meaningful look, then pressed his
lips together tightly. They both knew Mahiru would be upset
if she became the subject of weird rumors.
It would definitely be bad if people thought Mahiru was
spending the night already, even though they had just
started going out. It wouldn't make Amane happy at all if
people said those kinds of things about her.
She had stayed over before, and he had lent her his bed,
but not once had they ever slept in the same room together.
Mahiru had pleaded with him to join her once when she was
half asleep, but he hadn't gone through with it, so surely that
didn't count.
"Now that I think about it, you did say that you were
neighbors with Shiina… Did you mean she's super close by?"
"…Well, we live in the same building, so she's at my place
a lot."
"So that means if we go over to your place, we could go to
hers, too…"
"I won't invite you up, so you'll get turned away at the
entrance. If you make any suspicious moves, the security
guard will come and throw you out. You can count on that."
Of course, the apartment building where Amane and
Mahiru lived wasn't fancy enough to have a concierge, but it
did have decent security. The building was designed for
fairly wealthy residents, with an inner courtyard, and
security guards who would deal with anyone acting
suspiciously.
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"Come on, that was a joke… So in other words, Shiina
hangs out at your place a lot, Fujimiya?"
"H-hangs out? Well…yeah, we spend quite a lot of time
together, but—"
Mahiru wasn't just hanging out. Aside from bathing and
sleeping, she spent almost all her time at Amane's
apartment. She was practically living there. But Amane
knew if he said that, it would set the boys off again, so he
chose not to mention it.
But even with just that information, the other boys drew
closer to him, their eyes wide. From the sound of their chairs
scraping one after another across the floor, it was fairly
shocking news.
"Hold up, hold up, that's not right!"
"It's like something from a porno game plot. The old
'childhood friend' trope! It's not right!"
"And in the meantime, you two look like you have the
most wholesome relationship! If anything, we're losing our
minds because you're such a Goody Two-shoes. The only
thing we could do is to tell you to make a move."
"Wha…? Make a move? We only just started going out;
there's no way."
They had been dating for two weeks, and Amane was not
in a hurry to do anything like that. And even if he did want
to, he was worried that Mahiru would think he was only
interested in sex.
Amane had no intention of rushing things. He would leave
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it to Mahiru, instead of pressing the issue and trying to force
things to move forward. Anyway, they hadn't even kissed
yet, so there was no way they were going to jump straight
into doing more.
"It's better to let time pass and take it slow," Amane said.
"We'll do stuff like that when we're both ready. I'm not going
to force it on her."
Amane felt embarrassed to be talking about the subject
and ended the conversation with an anticlimactic
pronouncement.
Itsuki looked around at the other boys and shrugged
dramatically. "You see? This is one of those things that
Shiina likes about Amane. He's a toootal gentleman. He's so
cautious and considerate, you could almost say he's
impotent."
"Fujimiya, are you out of your mind? Are you made of
flesh and blood? How can you even call yourself a man?"
"I see how it is. You're all here to make fun of me."
Amane scowled, wondering how anybody could see
anything other than a man when they looked at him.
From all sides, he heard things like, "If you had a girl as
cute as the angel by your side, why wouldn't you pin her
down?" and "This is what a loser looks like," which made his
mouth twitch.
"It's none of your business, so just shut up," Amane
insisted. "We're taking things at our own pace, so we don't
need anyone butting in."
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"You know, I heard that Shiina has been getting advice
from Chi," Itsuki mentioned.
"Well, you can tell Chitose to be careful about what she
says. Mahiru doesn't need to learn everything that Chitose
has to teach."
Even though Mahiru had a good head on her shoulders,
she was a beginner when it came to adult relationships, and
Amane was worried that Chitose might give her false
expectations.
"So you're insisting that you should be the one to instruct
the innocent Shiina?"
"Cut it out, man."
Amane glared critically at Itsuki, wondering why he had
to interpret everything that way, but Itsuki feigned
innocence.
"Now, now. Besides, even if I told Chi to stop, the other
girls are probably telling her all sorts of things, too. Shiina's
in love, she's adorable, and they're gonna give her advice."
"And what good does that do me, if they give her all kinds
of weird ideas?"
"You get to appreciate Shiina's charming, adorable efforts,
of course."
"Well, I guess I can't argue with that, but just try putting
yourself in my shoes; think of the shock my poor heart will
have to take."
"Isn't it nice that she's working so hard for you?"
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When Itsuki put it that way, Amane couldn't possibly
refute it, so he just frowned and kept his complaints to
himself. Itsuki must have known how he would react
because he cackled with laughter.
"Well, I can't stop Chi from trying to help, since she's
decided she wants to encourage Mahiru's love for you."
"…It's your fault for not knowing what kind of advice your
girlfriend might be giving."
"I don't think she's telling her anything too extreme. Even
Chi has some tact, after all."
"I wonder…"
"Just the other day, I saw Shirakawa lecturing Shiina on
how to cuddle, telling her, 'Amane will be happy if you do
things like this,'" another boy added.
"Itsuki, you have a duty to control her…"
"Like it's my fault?!"
Amane looked accusingly at Itsuki and said, "So she is
teaching Mahiru all kinds of weird stuff?"
It was easy to imagine Chitose had, for better or worse,
been filling Mahiru's head with all sorts of information
about male-female relationships. The only one who could
keep Chitose in check was Itsuki, so Amane thought that
Itsuki ought to be the one to stop her.
Amane let out an exasperated sigh, and the boys
surrounding him stared at him in silence. The atmosphere
was indescribable.
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"So this is just you boasting about your love life?" one of
the boys asked, summarizing what everyone wanted to say.
"…That wasn't my intention," Amane replied. But there
wasn't a single boy there who believed him.
"That reminds me, you guys were all riled up during gym
today; did something interesting happen?"
Classes were over for the day, and they had returned
home. Amane hadn't been prepared for Mahiru's sudden
question, and he dropped his smartphone, letting it fall to
his lap. It was quite heavy because of the wallet-style case, so
he felt a bit of pain in his thighs as he returned Mahiru's
gaze, and their eyes met. She was sitting beside Amane with
a very puzzled look.
She obviously knew the boys had been talking about
something. They had kept chatting after the period ended, so
she must have heard voices when she came back to the
classroom.
"Oh, well no, um, please don't worry about it."
Amane averted his eyes. He couldn't possibly tell her that
they had been asking how far he and Mahiru had gone.
"Huh…?" Mahiru sounded upset. "Usually when you say
something like that, it's exactly the sort of situation I should
be worried about it."
"It was just regular boy talk; we had some catching up to
do, you could say."
"Uh-huh… The type of conversation that you can't repeat
—or don't want to?"
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"It's not that I can't repeat it, it's just embarrassing."
His reply seemed likely to invite misunderstanding, but
Amane was ashamed to explain their conversation in detail,
so he settled on being vague. Mahiru stayed quiet as she
stared at Amane.
Is she fed up with me or displeased…? He felt a slight
twinge of pain somewhere near his stomach, but Mahiru
gave an uneasy smile.
"Ah, if you don't really want to say, that's fine; you don't
have to. It wouldn't be nice for me to pry; you deserve your
own privacy, too. I'm sure there are some things that boys
only talk about with other boys. Some topics that girls ought
not ask you about."
"I have mixed feelings about how understanding you are,
but… Well, it's nothing that serious. Would it be okay to not
talk about it?"
"I mean, you would never ask me what I talk about with
other girls, right?"
"I guess not. If I went about it poorly, I would probably
offend you, though I wouldn't ask anything you didn't want
to answer. Even if you're my girlfriend, that doesn't mean
it's okay to tell you how to lead your life, you know?"
Amane was smart enough to know that girls had all sorts
of secret conversations among themselves. Even though he
was curious about what Mahiru might have discussed, he
was also afraid of the answer, so he didn't really want to ask.
Still, he figured there were probably people who would have
liked to pry.
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Mahiru was her own person with her own life, so Amane
intended to respect her privacy, even if she was his
girlfriend.
That's the difference between them and me.
This time, Amane looked directly at Mahiru, and she
smiled softly, looking amused.
"I feel the same way," she said. "I don't think it's right for
me to try to know everything about you just because I like
you. Even if there are things I don't know, that doesn't
change how I feel about you, Amane."
"…That's one of the charming things about you, you
know."
"Right back at you."
Mahiru giggled in her elegant voice and leaned against his
arm. Amane felt self-conscious because he could sense her
trust in him. Tracing the pad of his finger lightly over the
smooth back of her hand, he whispered, "Is it really all right
if I don't tell you?"
His conversation with the other boys wasn't something he
particularly wanted to share, but neither was it something he
felt like he had to hide. He was prepared to tell her if not
knowing made her anxious, but Mahiru smiled, still leaning
against him.
"If you want to tell me, I'll listen, but if it's something
you'd rather not share, then I won't ask."
She left it up to him to do as he pleased, and Amane
pondered over what to do for a full ten seconds before slowly
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opening his mouth to speak.
"…Well, um, how do I put it? The guys were asking me
how things have changed since we started going out, and
they asked me how far we've gone, and other typical
questions like that."
The other boys probably already had their suspicions, but
they hadn't said them out loud, so Amane hadn't responded
to them. But they had also expressed interest in how things
had changed for him, so he had decided to make that the
main point when telling Mahiru.
Amane spoke hesitantly, but Mahiru seemed to
understand. "I guess they were curious about it, huh?" She
smiled wryly. "But things that have changed since we started
dating… I guess my awareness of you has. Like, I touch you a
lot on purpose now, but that's it."
"That's because we were already close to begin with.
Rather than saying we've changed, I feel like our
surroundings have instead."
The two of them had only realized it upon later reflection,
but they had been touching each other in moderation before
they even started dating. They held hands when Amane was
escorting her to places, embraced when consoling each
other, and once, Mahiru had kissed his cheek for revenge.
They'd been so touchy that it was strange they hadn't
become a couple sooner.
It was extremely embarrassing to think about, and Amane
wondered why he hadn't been able to return her affection at
the time. He had been cautious—no, cowardly—so he
couldn't work up the determination.
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Of course, he was ashamed of how pathetic he'd been, so
moving forward, he wanted to be able to take the lead with
Mahiru, and he intended to put in the effort so he would be
able to do so confidently.
"You're right about that. And you've totally fixed your
appearance, which changed how people see you. It's gotten
easier for everyone, even girls, to talk to you."
"No, the only time girls speak to me is to cheer me on,
so…"
"But I've been hearing people say you look cool, too, you
know? And that your smile is cute."
"That smile was probably directed at you, though… You're
the only one I see," Amane whispered quietly to calm her.
He couldn't help imagining that she was feeling a little
jealous.
Even as her cheeks flushed slightly, she pressed her head
against him and didn't seem at all dissatisfied.
Amane thought about how cherubic and cute she looked
when she did that, but he knew that if he said it out loud, she
would scold him to not treat her like a child, so he kept it to
himself and smiled quietly.
As Amane gazed lovingly at Mahiru, who seemed to be in
a good mood, he recalled what had happened when he was
surrounded by his classmates and remembered there was
something he needed to ask her.
"Anyway, I did hear one thing that I want to ask about."
"Oh?"
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"Mahiru, it seems you've been getting advice from Chitose
and some of the other girls. They're not telling you anything
weird, right?"
He stared at Mahiru with the unspoken additional
question of And you're not telling them any details about
our relationship, right? Mahiru looked up awkwardly at
Amane and then suddenly averted her gaze.
"…Only a little bit—"
"They are, aren't they? Well… I won't tell you not to talk to
them, but please try not to expose too much of our personal
lives. It'll be super embarrassing if rumors start circulating."
"I-I'll be careful."
Consulting with her friends wasn't an issue, but Amane
didn't want Mahiru to share too much about their
relationship. Of course, he trusted Mahiru to exercise good
judgment, but she could also be a little careless sometimes,
so Amane figured it would be best to warn her, just in case.
Mahiru shrank back into her seat, perhaps thinking that
she had already overshared, even if they were her friends.
Not that Amane hadn't also consulted with Itsuki and
Yuuta, but he had always chosen his topics carefully and had
never asked them anything particularly deep. He was
starting to suspect that maybe Mahiru had some major
complaint or insecurity about their relationship.
"…Are you really that anxious about dating me?" he asked.
"A-anxious? It's not like that… Um, I j-just asked them
how I could make you happy."
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"But I'm perfectly happy just being with you…"
"Yes, of course… You're the type who says it's more than
enough just to be with me. You don't desire much, and you
rarely make requests of people, isn't that right?"
"I feel like I could say the same about you."
All of what she'd said also applied to Mahiru herself, but
after blinking several times, hiding her caramel-colored eyes
for a moment each time they closed, she smiled at him
coquettishly.
"…I can be quite greedy, you know? I want to have you all
to myself; I want to pamper you and be pampered."
"Right back at you, as you would say."
"You want to be spoiled?"
"…W-well, I like you, so yes, and I want to do the same for
you, too. As for keeping you all to myself, well, I'll try to only
do that when we're at home."
Mahiru probably didn't think so, but Amane had always
considered himself to be the more possessive one.
He knew, of course, that Mahiru had her own feelings and
her own life—and that she should be able to live however she
wanted. Amane did want to respect that, but…be that as it
may, she was his girlfriend, and he often caught himself
wishing he didn't have to share her with anyone else.
He knew Mahiru was popular, and he could accept that
for what it was, but he still wanted to pull his cute girlfriend
into his arms and keep her for himself. He wished she would
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show her sweet side only to him and that she wouldn't be
affectionate with anybody else. That was how deeply Amane
loved Mahiru.
Man, that's heavy, even for me…, he chided himself. But
for some reason, Mahiru smiled pleasantly, looking tickled.
"…I found one thing that has changed about you since we
started dating, Amane."
"What?"
"You're more honest about expressing your emotions now
—and showing love."
Far from balking at Amane's heavy feelings, Mahiru
looked up at him bashfully and leaned in close, happy to
accept him.
Amane also thought that he had become more honest,
compared to before they were dating. He had pined after
Mahiru for so long, and he wanted to treasure her and never
upset her with his words. Thus he'd naturally become
gentler, as he tried his best to express his love so that
Mahiru would never feel disheartened.
"Well, I figure that nice words aren't enough. If I don't
show you properly how much I love you, you'll sour on me, I
hear."
"That's just like you, Amane."
"Is it something you're unhappy with?"
"No, it's a good point, of course, but just… Sometimes it's
bad for my heart, you could say."
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Amane felt a surge of love for Mahiru, who had her cheeks
puffed out slightly as if he was being unfair, and he patted
her head.
"I don't want to hear that from you; you're just as bad."
"And what would you say I've done?"
"Everything about you is adorable, and you leave yourself
so defenseless. It's tough to bear."
"…You really are bad for my heart," Mahiru said, slapping
Amane's arm playfully.
Naturally, he couldn't do the same thing back to her, so he
tapped the pad of his finger against her cheek in a tickling
way as revenge.
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone