It happened on a Friday, on one of the last days of January.
"…Hmm?"
Amane returned to the living room after cleaning up dinner, but when he looked at
Mahiru, he noticed that her cheeks were unusually red.
At first, he thought that maybe the thermostat was set too high, but it was on the same
temperature as always, and Mahiru wasn't wearing particularly warm clothing, either.
When he looked closely, he saw that her expression seemed distant and kind of
unfocused. Her breathing was also shallower than usual. All signs pointed to her being
sick.
When he took a moment to think about it, the weather had gotten much colder lately,
and Mahiru, as an honors student, had been busy helping her teacher with some big
project. On top of that, she was doing her usual housework and making dinner for the
two of them. It wasn't strange at all for her to fall ill with such a workload.
Amane admonished himself for not noticing her condition earlier. He regretted not
paying more attention to her.
"Mahiru, your face is red. Do you think you have a fever?"
"Of course not."
Mahiru decisively dismissed Amane's concerns. Her expression was stiff, and she
shook her head, but she couldn't hide the redness in her cheeks.
Obviously, he couldn't just take her word for it, so even though he knew that it was
rude to touch her without her permission, Amane gently placed the palm of his hand
on Mahiru's forehead, which was usually hidden by her bangs.
As he had expected, her head was much hotter than his palm. Mahiru's typical body
temperature wasn't that high compared to Amane's, so it was pretty clear she had a
fever.
"You're hot as the sun."
"…No, I'm not."
"All right, how about we take your temperature and confirm it?"
"There's no need. You're worrying over nothing."
Her voice was thin and lacked her usual energy.
"Oh, come on. I can tell by looking at you that you're running a fever."
"I'm just a bit flushed."
"If that's the case, then you'll need to take your temperature and prove it."
Amane stood up and retrieved a thermometer from the first aid box on the shelf in the
living room. He brought it back to Mahiru, but she turned her face away.
She either didn't want to acknowledge her fever, or she insisted on bluffing.
It was probably one or the other, but Amane couldn't really proceed until she agreed
to have her temperature taken. He stood right in front of the uncooperative Mahiru
and placed the thermometer firmly in her hand.
"Mahiru, either I can loosen your clothes and stick the thermometer in your armpit,
or you can take your own temperature… Which do you prefer?"
Amane put on a very serious face when he made this threat.
Mahiru let out a startled groan and turned her body toward the back of the sofa. She
seemed like she had resigned herself to it, and he heard the sound of the thermometer
turning on, so just to be safe, Amane also turned his back to Mahiru and waited for her
to finish.
Before long, he heard another electronic beep. Amane waited for Mahiru to put her
clothes back in order. When he turned around, she was looking at him, expressionless,
holding the thermometer in its case.
"…Thirty-seven point two degrees Celsius. A slight fever, all right?"
"Hmm…"
"It's only a little higher than usual, and I still feel totally fine, so…"
Amane took the thermometer from Mahiru's hand and removed it from the case again.
The thermometer Amane had used was the type that recorded the previously measured
temperature, and when he turned it on again—sure enough, it displayed a temperature
more than one whole degree higher than Mahiru had reported.
"Oh yeah? I see thirty-eight point four here."
She averted her eyes.
"Seriously, have you been running yourself ragged and letting me sit on my butt the
whole time? You're taking all day tomorrow and tomorrow night off. No buts."
When Amane caught a cold, Mahiru had put him to bed and had him change into
pajamas and brought him rice porridge, but he wondered how she would fare doing
nothing when it was her turn.
Amane had a relatively sturdy constitution, so he'd simply gone to sleep and woken
up feeling better, but if Mahiru didn't rest and kept running around, she would never
recover, even from something relatively minor. Mahiru was sick, and that meant no
straining herself.
However, Mahiru was still avoiding his gaze. She didn't seem likely to agree to a strict
regimen of bed rest.
…So stubborn… Well, I guess there's no other way, then.
Amane extended a hand to Mahiru.
The fever was slowing her down, and it took her a moment to turn to him. Thinking
that it would be just perfect if she didn't resist, Amane put his arms around Mahiru's
back and under her knees and lifted her off the sofa.
Carrying her like a child, so that she had to cling tightly to him, Amane checked that
he could hear the sound of jangling keys from Mahiru's pocket and headed for the
door.
"Uh, A-Amane…?"
Mahiru seemed to finally realize that she was being carried, and he heard her flustered
voice coming from between his arms.
When Amane stopped for a moment and looked down at her, Mahiru's cheeks were
still red with fever, and she was peering up at him with confusion in her eyes.
"You're definitely going to push yourself too hard, so I'm going to keep watch until you
fall asleep."
"Y-you're going to barge into a girl's bedroom?"
"If you don't like that idea, you can sleep in my room."
"…And the option for you to leave me alone…?"
"That ship sailed when you refused to rest."
Even Amane knew that no matter how close of a friend he was, going into a girl's
apartment, and what's more, into her bedroom, and standing guard until she fell
asleep, would be a serious invasion of her privacy. It was definitely not something he
would ever even consider under normal circumstances. But after seeing the way she
was acting, he was seriously worried for her health. He just knew that Mahiru would
run herself into the ground if he didn't do something. As far as he was concerned, there
wasn't any other option.
Long ago, Mahiru had forced her way into his apartment, so he figured that just this
once, he would employ the same forceful measures for her sake.
"Okay, which do you prefer? My house or yours?"
"…And if I say I don't like either?"
"If you say that, then we default to barging into your apartment so I can toss you into
bed."
"…Your room is fine…"
Apparently, Mahiru didn't want Amane bursting into her bedroom, so she finally
relented and agreed to rest in Amane's room instead.
Amane exhaled hard—neither a sigh nor a breath of relief. I understand why she
wouldn't want to let a boy into her room, he thought as he carried her to his bed. And I
know she didn't make a huge fuss, either. But if she was going to be so stubborn about it,
I wish she would have just stayed home and rested up in the first place.
Mahiru hadn't been in Amane's bedroom since New Year's.
For the moment, he lowered Mahiru onto the bed, then started fishing through his
dresser drawers. He figured it would be best if she changed into something she
wouldn't have to worry about getting sweat on before going to sleep. He chose the
smallest shirt and sweatpants he had, then set them down by Mahiru's side.
"Here. Change into these."
"…But—"
"Or I can strip you."
"I'll get changed…"
Mahiru reluctantly picked up the change of clothes.
Amane was not at all prepared to carry out his threat, and he didn't think Mahiru
would have let him anyway. Just thinking about it made him want to die of shame. He
was thoroughly relieved to hear that she would play along.
Since he wasn't about to stay and watch her change, Amane quickly left the room and
retrieved some sports drinks from his pantry shelf.
After Amane had recovered from his cold the previous year, he had stocked up on
prepackaged rice porridge, extra sports drinks, and cooling sheets. His preparations
were finally paying off.
Carrying the supplies, along with a towel and some medicine, Amane knocked on the
door of his own bedroom and heard a small voice reply, "I've finished changing."
He entered and saw Mahiru looking at him, propped up on his bed, wearing his
clothes. As expected, even the smallest clothes he had were too large on Mahiru—
baggy was probably the most accurate word.
She looked adorable, dressed in clothes that were the wrong size, but Amane drove
that thought from his mind and set down the sports drinks and towel on the table
beside the bed.
"Will you take some medicine? It's over-the-counter stuff."
"…Sure. I have the same type at home, so I think it's all right."
"Okay."
He went back to the kitchen for a moment and filled a cup with water. While he was
there, he fished an ice pack out of the freezer. He recalled the saying "Preparation is
the key to success" and smiled to himself about how true that was turning out to be.
Amane hurried back to the bedroom and handed the water to Mahiru, then took some
pills out of the packaging and put them in her open palm.
"Take those and drink plenty of water. Then get to sleep."
While Mahiru was swallowing the medicine, he wrapped the ice pack in the towel and
set it beside her pillow. As he did, he heard Mahiru mumble "…You're pretty well
prepared."
"I'm just doing everything you did for me, you know."
Basically, he was just repeating exactly what Mahiru had done when she nursed him
back to health. He was healthy now, so it was only natural that he should return the
favor.
"By the way, why were you trying to push yourself so hard?"
"…Because I'm incapable of effective self-management."
"Look, you have to draw the line somewhere. You're always running around, working
hard, and your body is probably all worn out. Come to think of it, I guess I owe you an
apology for my part in keeping you so busy."
Making his dinner every night had undoubtedly placed an extra burden on Mahiru that
she clearly didn't need. She had her own life to deal with, and here she was taking care
of him. It was inexcusable, really.
Mahiru's fever seemed to be connected to her fatigue, so Amane wanted to care of her
the best he could and let her rest.
"…I've never thought of you as a burden, Amane."
"Really…? Well, even if that's true, think of this as a good opportunity for you to take it
easy."
He was happy to hear her say that she didn't find the time they spent together to be
taxing, but he still felt guilty about how much attention she had paid to his needs. This
was his chance to tend to Mahiru while she got some rest. It would probably actually
be better to send her home, but Amane wanted to stay by her side. He knew he would
never forgive himself if anything happened to her.
Mahiru hesitated but eventually agreed to lie down.
She buried everything up to her neck under the comforter, then glanced at Amane. She
looked slightly embarrassed, probably because she didn't like having someone standing
over her while she slept. Amane was about to leave her alone, thinking that he
shouldn't stare at girls in their sleep, when he felt something tug at his sleeve. When
he looked down, he found Mahiru's small hand grasping at his shirt.
Mahiru was also staring at her hand, caramel-colored eyes wide with shock. She looked
just as surprised as he did. A moment passed, and then she quickly released him and
buried herself completely under the comforter, pulling it all the way up over her face
to hide.
"…Good night," came a feeble mumble from Mahiru, cocooned in the blanket.
Amane scratched his cheek, unsure what to do.
…She gets really anxious when she's not feeling well, huh?
Figuring she would probably forgive him, he turned back the comforter a little bit,
until he found Mahiru's hand and grabbed hold of it.
He squeezed it gently, and Mahiru stuck her face out from under the comforter, wearing
a troubled expression. But Amane had a feeling that was more from embarrassment
than anger.
"…I'm not a child, you know."
"I know. I'll just be here keeping watch so that you won't run away, so don't mind me."
"…I'm not running away this late in the game."
"I wonder. Well, I'll get out of here once you're asleep, so you can relax. Come on, if you
want me to leave, hurry up and fall asleep."
Amane was being very direct. But it worked. Mahiru meekly snuggled back down
under the comforter, and he felt her squeeze his hand back.
He felt sort of happy, and embarrassed, and for some reason, agitated. It was like
someone was tickling the inside of his chest.
Amane kept hold of her slender fingers until he heard her peaceful sleeping breaths.
The following morning, Amane woke up on the sofa and checked the clock as he
stretched his stiff body.
It was just past eight in the morning. It wasn't a school day, and he almost never got
up this early on the weekends, but Amane wanted to see how Mahiru was doing, so he
decided he'd better get a move on. He had peeked in on her just in case during the
night and confirmed that she looked like she was sleeping peacefully, but he couldn't
tell what her true condition was.
He stood up and stretched, then quietly headed toward his own bedroom and opened
the door without making a sound.
He hadn't knocked in case Mahiru was still sleeping, but when he opened the door, she
sat up.
Her cheeks were still slightly red, but not as red as the night before, and although her
expression was slack and somewhat bleary, her eyes focused when she spotted
Amane.
"Morning. How are you feeling? The truth, please."
"…I'm still sluggish."
"Gotcha. I'm going to the convenience store to buy breakfast and something that you
might be able to eat."
He did have that rice porridge, but he had the image that sick people ate meal
supplement jelly and canned peaches and thought those might be easier to eat, so
that's what he was planning to get.
He was relieved to find that she seemed to be doing better than expected, and he
pulled another change of clothes out of the dresser and set them on the bed.
"I'm leaving you a change of clothes here. Make sure you take your temperature, too.
If you want to wipe off the sweat, go ahead and use the water in that wash basin and
this towel."
Before leaving the room, Amane pointed to the basin he had used to wipe the sweat
from her face during the night.
Then he retrieved his wallet and left the apartment.
Walking at a leisurely pace, Amane made sure that Mahiru would have plenty of time
to wipe herself off and change her clothes, even if her fever slowed her down. The
convenience store was located quite close to their apartment building, so he could
have made the trip in just a few minutes, but he was careful and took his time shopping.
Amane returned home after spending a solid twenty minutes out of the house and put
away the cold items in the refrigerator. When he finally went in to see Mahiru, she had
finished changing and was waiting for him.
She also seemed more alert and already looked healthier than the day before. She was
smiling faintly.
"Any fever?"
"Thirty-seven point five degrees."
"Hmm, still slightly high… Don't move around too much."
"I kn-know that."
"Do you have an appetite? I've got some rice porridge here, and I also bought pudding
and jelly."
He knew he shouldn't let her eat anything too heavy, so he had brought back things
that were easy to eat and soft, but what she ate would depend on Mahiru's appetite.
"Oh, sorry you went to the—"
"Don't apologize. You did the same thing for me. So pudding or jelly, which do you
want?"
"…Jelly."
"Here ya go. Do you think you can eat some rice porridge as well?"
"…Yes."
"All right, I'll heat it up; so you sit tight."
Amane shuffled out of the room. He was concerned about Mahiru. She seemed anxious.
Amane placed a pouch of rice porridge in some hot water to warm it up, then poured
it into a bowl.
If he was really going to repay Mahiru for what she did last time, he probably should
have made the porridge by hand, but he honestly wasn't sure he would have been able
to pull it off without messing up something, so he'd decided to fall back on the reliable
instant pouches.
He was sure it would be nothing next to Mahiru's homemade porridge, but Amane
figured the most important thing was that she had something, anything, to eat.
"Here. Think you can manage to eat on your own?" Amane asked her jokingly as he
held out a spoon and waited for her to take the bowl of porridge.
Mahiru scowled at him sullenly. "Are you making fun of me? And what if I said I can't
eat on my own—I suppose you'd offer to feed me?"
"Ah, I mean… I'll feed you if you want, but…"
Mahiru's face went red, as if her fever had made a sudden comeback.
"…I-I'll eat by myself."
"Y-yeah."
She accepted the bowl from Amane and started taking small bites, but the redness did
not disappear by the time she was done eating.
She seemed to still have some appetite after finishing the porridge, so she opened the
jelly next. Once she put that away as well, she sighed. She looked much better now, so
all that was left was to get some rest so she could regain her strength. Amane was
rather relieved.
"Is there anything else you want me to do?"
"…Nothing for now."
"All right."
When Amane stood up to leave, thinking that he should probably just let her rest more,
Mahiru slowly looked up at him, as if making some sort of request. Her gaze was steady
and direct.
Sensing the fear and anxiety lurking behind her caramel-colored eyes, Amane sat
down right next to Mahiru.
"…Amane?"
"It's nothing."
If he told her up front that she seemed lonely, Mahiru would probably deny it outright
and chase him away.
So Amane sat quietly by the bedside and simply looked over at Mahiru, who was sitting
up in bed. "I'm not busy right now anyway. How about we just chat until you get a little
sleepy?"
"…Okay." She nodded.
He smiled at her as he leaned against the bed, and Mahiru also smiled faintly as if
reassured.
"…This is the first time someone's ever really taken care of me when I'm sick… Even
Miss Koyuki went home when her shift was over."
"Miss Koyuki?"
"The maid who worked for us when I was at home."
"Ah, the person who taught you how to cook?"
"…I was always alone in the mornings and evenings, so…"
"Well, I'm here now. Besides, I'll be in a serious pinch if you don't hurry up and get
well."
"…I'm sorry for using your bed. And about dinner…"
"That's not what I meant. It's awful, you know? I just want to see my friend get better."
Even though they had only known each other a relatively short while, after all the time
they'd spent together, it was only natural for Amane to worry about her. Even if she
hadn't been running herself ragged taking care of him among other things, Amane still
would have worried about her. She was his friend, after all.
"And besides, I'm not the type of person who celebrates when someone else gets sick."
"…I know that already. You're a nice person, Amane."
"Yes, ma'am."
He was a little embarrassed and felt awkward being told directly to his face that he
was nice.
"Go ahead and get some rest… You'll feel better if you sleep as much as you need."
"…Okay."
"Shall I stand guard until you drift off again?"
Amane made a joke to hide his embarrassment, but Mahiru blinked in surprise.
"…Yes, please do."
"Huh?"
"You suggested it."
"I did, but…"
He never imagined that she would accept. He had expected Mahiru to glow bright red
and immediately reject the idea. His eyes went wide in surprise, and now Mahiru was
the one wearing an impish smile.
"Or does a man go back on his word?"
"…Absolutely not. Time to lie down," Amane muttered quietly. Then he added "You win
this round" as he squeezed Mahiru's hand.
She slipped under the covers. Then she looked at her hand resting in Amane's, and her
expression softened.
"…It's so warm."
"Your fever must have gone down a lot, if you've cooled off… All right, get some sleep."
"Okay."
She squeezed his hand once in return. She looked like she was relieved that he was
there after all. Slowly, her eyes drifted closed, and before long, Amane could hear the
regular rhythm of her sleeping breath.
…You dummy, he groaned, covering his face with his other hand.
Whenever the two of them touched like this, Amane lost his cool. His heart was
pounding in his ears, and his face felt so hot that, for a moment, he wondered if
Mahiru's fever had jumped hosts. Amane was so flushed that he almost forgot which
of them was supposed to have the fever.
…This girl is really bad for my heart.
Amane glanced over at Mahiru and saw her sleeping peacefully, entirely relaxed and
blissfully ignorant of Amane's woes.
Amane swore under his breath and buried his face in the bedsheets.
It was his bed, but it had a sweet scent, a little different from his own.
When Amane came to, Mahiru's warmth had disappeared.
The hand he had been holding was gone, leaving Amane facedown in the bed, all alone.
He looked around the room in alarm, but Mahiru was obviously not in bed.
Amane looked at the clock on the side table, saw that it was two, and then realized
that he had crashed. He thought maybe it was because he had gotten up to check on
Mahiru during the night, but even so, Amane had never intended to sleep for so long.
Flustered, Amane stood up and headed for the living room.
He moved briskly, and it wasn't long before he saw Mahiru sitting with good posture on
the living room sofa. She wasn't dressed in his shirt and sweatpants anymore, but in
her own clothing, which likely meant that she'd gone home for a bit before returning.
"Amane, good morning."
"Morning. You weren't there when I woke up, so I panicked a little."
"Sorry. I took a quick shower and came back."
That must have been why she had changed clothes. Feeling relieved that she was well
enough to bathe, he pressed his palm against Mahiru's forehead just in case, but she
was already back to her usual temperature.
"Mm, seems like your fever broke. That's great."
"…I'm sorry for worrying you."
"You should be. Next time I'm going to do the same exact thing if you're not honest
with me."
He said this as he was taking a seat next to Mahiru, and she frowned uneasily.
"I'll be careful, but… Amane, won't you be angry if I cause you trouble again?"
"Trouble?"
"Because you had to nurse me and everything…"
"As if I'd ever consider any of that trouble, you dummy. Do I honestly seem that heartless
to you?"
"…Not at all. It's just… I was only wondering if it's all right to rely on you."
"You should rely on people for whatever you can. You're definitely the type who tries
to take everything upon yourself even when you don't need to."
They had only been together for a few months, but even so, Amane thought he
understood Mahiru's temperament pretty well.
She fundamentally didn't like to rely on other people, and she bottled up all her
feelings deep inside and tried to never let them show. She seemed like she shut herself
off from other people by building a wall that she didn't want anyone to slip behind.
"I mean, I know that I'm not very trustworthy, and you can't rely on me, but—"
"Th-that's not true! I trust you a lot, Amane."
"Good. Then don't force yourself and let me help you."
Without thinking, he reached out and ruffled Mahiru's hair, only after which he noticed
that Mahiru had gone completely still.
"Sorry. You hate that, don't you?"
"…Not exactly, no…"
Mahiru shook her head slowly, not to disentangle his hand from her hair, but to
disagree with his statement, then leaned her forehead against his upper arm.
His heart leaped in his chest when he felt the slight weight of her body pressing against
him, but without revealing it in the least, he patted her head once more. He heard a
truly quiet little whisper: "…Thank you so much."