Chapitre 5: 5. Chapter 5
Ah. He can breathe again.
Castle sits with his son in his lap at the window seat, Kate in the seat to his left. The dark night outside the windows is calming. They have the two first-class seats in the row ahead of them as well, but neither kid wanted to sit by themselves after take-off. So when the fasten seatbelt sign went off, Dash crawled into his lap, and then Kate and Ella came back and sat next to him.
Ellery's already halfway to sleep against Kate's shoulder, her little body curled up against her mother, her favorite mint green blanket with the brown polka dots draped over her back. Kate shifts and scrapes her hair back into a ponytail, using her elbows to keep Ella from sliding.
Castle reaches over and puts his hand to Ellery's back, letting Kate free her arms to get the last twist in her rubber band. Dash yanks on his arm.
"Daddy-"
"Hey. Let up." He shakes Dash off, Kate wraps her arms around the baby again, and Castle takes his hand back, thumps Dash's ear.
"Hey," Dash squawks, rubbing his ear.
"Whatever, you need to be patient. Why are you still awake?"
"I'm not tired," he sighs dramatically.
Kate leans over and brushes the hair out of his eyes. "It's late, buddy."
"I know," he sighs. "It's always late." Mournful.
Castle chuckles. "It is. You're right. I know."
"Have trouble falling asleep last night?" Kate asks, her eyes shifting to Castle's.
"I'm just so excited," Dash shrugs. "Can I have a story?"
Castle sighs. "Sure."
Ella struggles and lifts her head, staring intently at him, her eyes so sleepy she looks ready to fall over. Castle reaches over and strokes her cheek with the back of his finger. Her head bobs, drops back to Kate's shoulder, but her eyes stay open. Barely.
Kate adjusts the blanket and nods to him, so Castle leans the first-class seat back just a little more and pulls Dash down against his chest. "All right. Story. What kind?"
"A Beckett story," Dash says with relish.
Kate sighs. Castle smirks at her and continues. "A Beckett story. Hmm. All right. Got your eyes closed?"
"Yes!"
"Hush, son," Kate murmurs.
"You too, Mommy. Eyes closed," Dashiell says, his voice at a barely lower decibel, his eyes squeezed tight, mouth scrunched up. He's almost five, but Castle still sees the baby in him, the round cheeks, the little nose.
Castle looks over at Ella with a grin. "You too, baby girl." Her eyes slam shut without any prompting.
"Castle," Kate says softly, raising her eyebrows at him.
"Want me to tell you about the time me and Mommy got abducted by aliens? Bright light-"
"Castle," she hisses at him. He grins at her outrage and leans in to kiss her open mouth.
"Aliens?" Dash sits up suddenly, the top of his head smacking into Castle's jaw. He winces and pulls away from Kate, rubbing his face. "Daddy! Why you never tell me this before?"
"It's not a Beckett story," Kate says with a frown, her mouth in that beautiful, sour look that he loves. That your theory is nuts but also makes sense look. "It's not a Beckett story, it's a Castle story."
"But I said a Beckett story, Daddy."
"It is a Beckett story. It's true. We were abducted-"
"By government agents, Castle," she rolls her eyes at him and then puts a hand to her mouth, eyes flickering down to their son.
Dashiell's eyes are wide as he looks at his mother, then at his father. Castle grins at her, chuckling to himself. "Good job, Mommy."
"Mommy, gov. . .people from. . .Mommy!" Dashiell leans over, his hands on the armrest, his little body quivering with amazement. "Was it scary? Did they lock you up and throw 'way the key? Did Daddy scream like a girl?"
Castle grunts and shifts Dashiell back into his lap. "Hey now."
Kate laughs and covers her mouth with a hand, but he can still see the broad grin gracing her lips, her expressive eyes shining.
"Daddy doesn't scream like a girl," Castle grumbles.
"Daddy doesn't always scream like a girl," Kate amends. "But no. Daddy didn't. He actually. . .kept his cool."
"See? Daddy kept his cool." Castle nods to Dash. "I also called it. I was right the whole time-"
"There were no aliens."
"No aliens?" Dash moans.
"There was the possibility of aliens. But there were Chinese spies. And the killer-" Castle stumbles to a stop just as Kate pinches his arm. "The uh. . .the uh-"
"You got the bad guy, Daddy? He was a Chinese spy? What's a Chinese spy?"
"Yeah. Uh-huh. Mommy and I figured it out. With the help of those government agents who pretended to be aliens." He throws aliens in there to avoid answering the Chinese spy question.
"Okay, okay, different story," Kate says, rolling her head on the back of the seat and glaring at Castle.
He pushes Dash back down to his chest, keeping the boy there with a hand. "All right. Eyes closed, kiddo."
"But I-"
"Closed."
"I-"
"Mouth too."
When there's silence again, Castle sighs and glances to Ellery. She's out already. "Okay, a Beckett story with a little less Castle to it."
He feels Kate's hand over the top of his forearm and looks over at her. She looks sleepy as well, and adorable, with her hair pulled back and the baby sleeping against her chest. Adorable and soft and tired. And warning him to get it right this time.
"How about this?" he starts, bringing his arm up so that he can kiss the back of her hand. "One day, Mommy and Daddy get in a fight-"
"Cas-"
"Shhh." He gives her a gentle smile, asking her to trust him. "Mommy leaves-"
"This isn't getting better," she hisses at him.
"Hush. I'm trying to tell a really good story here."
"Hush, Mommy, I-"
Castle thumps his ear. "Respect your mother."
Dash sighs and cracks open an eye. "Sorry. Got excited."
"Apology accepted, buddy." Kate waves a hand and Castle takes that as permission to keep going.
"So. Mommy leaves because Daddy was being stupid. Or mean to Mommy, which never happens anymore." A look. "I'm not sure which one, actually. Still. Could be Mommy just didn't feel good that day-"
Another pinch to his arm. A warning then.
"So. Mommy probably doesn't feel good, because she leaves. But I'm stuck at home, worrying about Mommy, until the hospital calls."
Kate sighs. He figures she knows now where it's going.
"Turns out Mommy is about to have a baby-"
"Is that me?" mumbles a sleepy voice.
"Eyes closed." Castle waits until Dash is relaxed against his chest again. "And yes. It's gonna be you. But it's not you yet. Or well, it's you but you were in Mommy's tummy then. So here I am at home, but Mommy - who isn't yet a Mommy - is at the hospital about to have baby Dashiell at any moment."
"Mommy was stupid, not Daddy," Kate says softly.
Castle glances over at her, eyebrows raised. "Huh. Okay. Well, then I run downstairs to grab a taxi, because I'm kinda nervous about all of this, probably shouldn't drive. I stand there for a little bit, waving my arm, hollering at the yellow cabs as they pass. I can't get a taxi, so I decide to run-"
"You ran?" Kate lifts her head, a curious look in her eyes, a half-smile quirking her lips. "That explains why you were all sweaty and out of breath."
"I ran. Never got a cab, and the hospital was only a few blocks over. When I got to the hospital, you were already in delivery, and I. . .I came over and you grabbed my hand-"
"You looked more worn out than I felt," she laughs. "I thought you needed something to hold on to."
Uh-huh. Sure you did, Kate. "And whatever we were fighting about, it just didn't matter anymore. Because then there was our son." Castle glances down at the little boy in his arms, his mouth slack, his hair sticking to his forehead. His son. Kate's son. He kisses the top of his head. "And that's the day you were born."
"Hey," she says softly. In the dim light of the airplane, with the night outside the window and their children asleep, she looks beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. He's missed her lately.
"Hey," he says back, smiling at her, loving her.
"I was afraid."
He raises both eyebrows. "What?"
"I fought with you because I was afraid. And it was stupid."
"Turns out you had good reason to be afraid," he grumbles. "You nearly died because of those quacks-"
"I don't remember that, Castle," she says, brushing her hand lightly over Ellery's back. "And besides, I wasn't even thinking about those complications. I was afraid of. . .us. That complication. We weren't even living together."
"That's what we were arguing about. You didn't *want* to live with me." There's no hurt left from it, he realizes. None at all. Amazing how two kids and five years washes away even things as bone-crushingly excruciating as hearing the mother of your child tell you she doesn't want you around. Huh. And that's not even bitterness, just. . .how it was.
"I had this stupid idea that nothing had to change. I was specifically *not* thinking about the future, because it scared me to think you wouldn't be there, and if you couldn't be there, on the job with me, why would you be anywhere else?"
"Yeah, that's a really stupid idea. I'm glad you figured it out," he says, then wriggles his eyebrows at her. "Why *did* you change your mind about living with me? I mean, you came home from the hospital to me. With me."
She stops rubbing Ellery's back and gives him a tender look that he can't quite decipher. "I saw your face when I woke up. After. . ."
"After you died."
She sighs. "After I *nearly* died. I saw your face."
He waits, but she's pressing her lips to Ella's forehead. "And? What did my face have to do with anything?"
Kate closes her eyes, as if recalling that moment. "You looked hollowed out. But you were holding our son to your chest as if. . .as if you thought he might be taken from you too, and I - I couldn't do it to you. I couldn't take him with me across town to live in my apartment, the two of us alone, when you wanted him so badly-"
She takes a shaky breath in and he wants to say something, but he doesn't know what.
"Look at this," she says softly, her voice under control. She lifts her arm to her run her hand down Dashiell's side. "This is amazing, this little person. And this one." She strokes Ella's back with her other hand, lifting her eyes to meet his. "What was there to be afraid of?"
She's gorgeous. Just. . .gorgeous. "Let's ditch the kids back up front, yeah?"
She gives him that closed-mouth smile, the one where she lifts her eyes to heavens as if suffering in silence through his moments of childishness. "Nothing sacred."
"Nope. Come on. They're more likely to sleep through the flight if they're not sleeping on us."
Kate glances down at Ella. "But I kinda like having my girl cuddle with me-"
"Come on, I like having *my* girl cuddle with me too." He gives her his best pitiful look, sad eyes and pouting lip and everything.
Kate lifts her hand from Dash's back and rubs her thumb across his lip, shaking her head. "Okay, Castle."
He grins, watches her shift carefully in her seat, easing forward with her arms around Ella. She gets slowly to her feet, then ducks around to the row in front of them, settles Ellery into the seat by the window. Kate catches his eyes over the back of the headrest and gives him a hot, sultry look.
Whew. She's doing that on purpose.
Castle hunches forward with Dashiell in his arms, then makes his way out of the row and stands up in the aisle. The flight has been smooth so far, but Kate's put the seat belt on Ellery and adjusted the blanket around her shoulders. She digs Totoro out of the bag and nestles it beside the girl.
He waits to put Dash down until Kate moves back to their seats. Dash curls up against the armrest, his mouth open and drooling already. Working the seatbelt slowly around him is an ordeal. Castle leans over his seat and nudges Kate.
"Where's his blanket?"
She glances around, then bends over to scoop it off the floor. Castle takes it and lays it over the boy, brushing hair out of his eyes, suddenly so grateful he's here, that Kate didn't take him away, that he has his son and his wife and his daughter. His family.
He gets back in his own seat, sits there for a moment, absorbing it all. Then he comes back to himself, scoots over to one side, and pats the scant amount of empty space next to him.
"Cuddle?"
She's pulled her iPad out of her bag to read, but she sighs and lifts the armrests between them, moves over to his seat. Castle smiles and presses his lips to the top of her head, wrapping both arms around her, trying to give her a little more room.
"What are we reading?" he says happily.
She lifts her feet up to the other chair, wriggling back, getting comfortable. "You can only read with me if you don't make comments."
"Comments? Me?" He brushes her hair away from his mouth.
"It's your book anyway."
"Oh, you know that makes me horn-"
"Hush," she admonishes. "I want to read, Castle. Not get felt up on an airplane."
"But we can do both," he suggests, brushing a hand across her stomach.
She grabs his hand, squeezes it tightly, crushing his fingers. "No comments."
"Ow, ow. All right. No comments. Of either kind. Which book are you reading?"
"The fourth one. High Heat."
He grins, dropping his cheek to her head. "I like that one."
"I do too. I'm rereading all the Nikki books. But I skipped the third one."
"Why?"
"It makes me sad," she says, lacing her fingers with his over her stomach. He experimentally brushes his thumb over her shirt and she doesn't stop him. He grins.
"Makes you sad. But in the fourth one-"
"No comments, Castle. I wanna read. And don't think I don't feel that." She captures his thumb with hers, like thumb-wrestling.
He stays quiet while she calls up the book on her iPad. He bought it for her birthday, but he hasn't seen it much. Usually with her at the precinct. When his novel comes up, she scrolls through the title page, stops.
The dedication page.
"Want me to read the dedication to you?" he says softly, kissing her temple.
She reaches back and brushes her hand down his jaw. "If you'll stay quiet after that. Just the dedication."
He knows why too. Because she loves hearing his voice read to her; she confessed it once a few years back, how it gets to her. He remembers her exact words were, 'It makes me so hot.'
"Read it," she says, patting his cheek to get his attention.
Castle clears his throat, intent on making his voice as drop-dead sexy as he possibly can.
"For Kate," he starts, pausing until he feels her breath quicken. "For Kate. Who said yes."
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone