33Critiques
4.18
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I really want to love this story. I really do, but I just can’t overlook all the decisions made by the characters in the story to move the plot forward, it makes it look really forced. Character development is well done, but the decision to keep a kryptonian mc rely on prostetics for such a big chunk of the story is too much even though a long enough sun bath (or even a blue sun bath) should be enough to regen to top strength.
..............(.........:(;(:(:(:(the development of the story goes downhill.
I don't understand the meaning of her existence! What does gg want in general? As I understand it, she could regenerate all her parts from the sun! Why did the author put it too late? He didn't make her strong, it's very bad, what did the author do experiments for her? if he didn 't give her any other genes ? ! In short, the brain is very bad, If superman is 35 years old, she would not be able to go unnoticed when she arrived on the planet, The author squeaks well , but I did not like the plot itself!
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Spoiler de révélation
Characters wonderfull good you can feel the tension the problems the doubts of the character 10 of 10
writing in another language is difficult so I'll keep this short. The story is good, you can read it without fear. ............................................................
Wish Incould rate this higher than a 3 the writing quality and upload is good but Kara's over reliance in Tech and constant fear are major problems to the enjoyment if the fic sure Kryptonian tech is cool and Kara is still recovering from the start but with how much she telies in tech this is less if a Supergirl fic and more like a Ironman fic it doesn't feel like I'm readijg about Kara Zor El just a female Ironman the PTSD and constant procrastination don't help hope that changes sooner than later because this is otherwise a great fic just has it's glaring issues
Great story with character development and an actual plot. I really like the writing quality and updates are good. Keep up the good work !!!
I am looking to pay an author to create a story based on my recommendation I pay 25€ for 20 chapters with a subscription to your patreon if you have one for 65 months guaranteed at +10€ also I will pay more if the story is good and hard more than 20 chapters
I know for a fact that I've read this before. Have you posted this somewhere else?
Great Isekai and although I'm usually adverse to over powered main character cliche with how the writing deals with the character it end up being quite satisfying and in terms of plot I ended up really enjoying this story
First, the story is interesting and well-written, and some will like it 'a lot'. But it feels like she's always getting beaten up every step of the way and like 'you are gonna die' difficulty with a player that sucks at playing. So it always leaves me frustrated and angry at how she 'MC' acts, charging forward only to be slapped 'hard too.' So congratulation, for this is the first fan fiction I really write a review this long, and after 21 chapters from the current 41 chapters and all I am feeling right now, I will stop reading. Maybe I will feel interested in continuing to read it in the future, but for now, I wish the author all the best of luck. PS: Please, just for once, let me feel that she has the power to slap her enemy instead of constantly getting slapped.
As long as you don't bring in males into the lewd situation, I'm totally fine. Not saying guys are bad, but yuri all the way. I mean like come on, a male turned girl, what's the point of going for guys? I hope you take this to heart, I don't care what anyone says.
Here again to remind myself how great this FanFic is. The writing and the story is exciting to read. Always feel happy when it updates. Kudos to the Author, you can have my stones everyday.
A história é muito boa , não pensava que iria gostar tanto da história até perceber que comecei a torcer para kori e Kara aparecerem juntas todo capítulo sz .
o começo foi bem impactante , é legal que ela não tenta interferir em tudo. acho que é uma boa novel, tem potencial principalmente o começo
Very good start I must say, but then the story goes downhill. There is a continuing need on the part of the author to write a character with ongoing weaknesses (trauma, loss of limbs and organs, can't control himself emotionally) there is no need for your character to be all powerful but get to the point of lowering him/her that much and then feeling the need for approval of his actions from kal He is a bit ridiculous. You have memories of his past life right? and now he has the experiences of his new life... I honestly don't understand. A solid 3 star
The Story is pretty well thought out, while there are some obvious forced plot points, its a really enjoyable read! How the various DC characters are portrayed is pretty true to canon & well done. the interactions between the various different individuals is well played out & feels quite organic & normal. Although it does has its downs such as a few personal pet peeves of mine, It was quite solid. (I also am not really sure on what to think of the new ‘power’ she got. Its a little Too angst for my tastes) the world even actually feels threateningly huge in a sense. Unlike many other Dc fics where the mc’s treat the dc world as their personal playground. Mc isn’t op really, but she’s also far from weak. I like how they incorporated the scientist/inventor background into it as well, while I kind of wish she could get stronger personally without the use of technology, its still not unwelcomed. Although, it mostly focuses on Earth & young justice. I do hope the world is explored a bit more though, theres so much to explore in the DC verse for it to not be explored a bit. As for The story development so far. its quite slow, but, it makes up for it through sheer quality and actually taking time to flesh out scenarios. Anyways, I enjoyed the read, it was phenomenally well written. I hope to see more! Thanks for the story, author! (Here, have a supergirl.)
Spoiler de révélation
Pretty good, the angst at the beginning is not my kind of thing but still a very good fic.
absolutely wonderfully written, everything reads really well and smooth. love the writing style very competent character development and world building. I love the story and absolutely can't wait to read more
As of right now, really good story telling. Stpry flows well and things don't feel forced. Author put in hard work and does character development very well. 10/10 would recommend
Me gusta deseo y espero que sea Yuri xd y espero que sigas escribiendo está muy bien echa 👍 con amor un fan 🤩. .............., ..............
Very well written story that honestly too good for the usual quality posted on this site. I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking to read. It’s also great that it’s not just another young justice canon with an added OC. This story actually has its own plot.
Fantastic read for anyone who enjoys a darker young justice DC journey could not recommend this enough. The author is amazing, every new chapter I shout YES!! With a fist pump. 1) Kara is awsome 2) kori is awsome plus I’m hoping for a lil action 😉 3) it’s not overly op well she is kriptonian but she actually thinks unlike most mc and is empathetic unlike most mcs 4) its young justice So add it and enjoy
All I can say is perfect an amazing display of perfection. In all seriousness this is fantastic love the portrayal of the mc and her life of pain and friendship so keep up the amazing work im rooting for you and for those not totaly convinced come in the water is great
Main charcter loses and eye and a leg whole being expormentedd on and the first thing she does is go to earth, move in with a random human, and start making deals with criminals. Not very smart and annoying that shes crippled. She should have gone straight to the sun and absorbed enery for at least a year before going to earth
Definitely one of my favorite stories. It is depressing that the h*rny of society makes it difficult for such novels to go anywhere, as most people are busy abusing their micromeat to sensual words for some reason.
I really want to love this story. I really do, but I just can’t overlook all the decisions made by the characters in the story to move the plot forward, it makes it look really forced. Character development is well done, but the decision to keep a kryptonian mc rely on prostetics for such a big chunk of the story is too much even though a long enough sun bath (or even a blue sun bath) should be enough to regen to top strength.
..............(.........:(;(:(:(:(the development of the story goes downhill.
I don't understand the meaning of her existence! What does gg want in general? As I understand it, she could regenerate all her parts from the sun! Why did the author put it too late? He didn't make her strong, it's very bad, what did the author do experiments for her? if he didn 't give her any other genes ? ! In short, the brain is very bad, If superman is 35 years old, she would not be able to go unnoticed when she arrived on the planet, The author squeaks well , but I did not like the plot itself!
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Spoiler de révélation Characters wonderfull good you can feel the tension the problems the doubts of the character 10 of 10
writing in another language is difficult so I'll keep this short. The story is good, you can read it without fear. ............................................................
Wish Incould rate this higher than a 3 the writing quality and upload is good but Kara's over reliance in Tech and constant fear are major problems to the enjoyment if the fic sure Kryptonian tech is cool and Kara is still recovering from the start but with how much she telies in tech this is less if a Supergirl fic and more like a Ironman fic it doesn't feel like I'm readijg about Kara Zor El just a female Ironman the PTSD and constant procrastination don't help hope that changes sooner than later because this is otherwise a great fic just has it's glaring issues
Great story with character development and an actual plot. I really like the writing quality and updates are good. Keep up the good work !!!
I am looking to pay an author to create a story based on my recommendation I pay 25€ for 20 chapters with a subscription to your patreon if you have one for 65 months guaranteed at +10€ also I will pay more if the story is good and hard more than 20 chapters
I know for a fact that I've read this before. Have you posted this somewhere else?
Great Isekai and although I'm usually adverse to over powered main character cliche with how the writing deals with the character it end up being quite satisfying and in terms of plot I ended up really enjoying this story
First, the story is interesting and well-written, and some will like it 'a lot'. But it feels like she's always getting beaten up every step of the way and like 'you are gonna die' difficulty with a player that sucks at playing. So it always leaves me frustrated and angry at how she 'MC' acts, charging forward only to be slapped 'hard too.' So congratulation, for this is the first fan fiction I really write a review this long, and after 21 chapters from the current 41 chapters and all I am feeling right now, I will stop reading. Maybe I will feel interested in continuing to read it in the future, but for now, I wish the author all the best of luck. PS: Please, just for once, let me feel that she has the power to slap her enemy instead of constantly getting slapped.
As long as you don't bring in males into the lewd situation, I'm totally fine. Not saying guys are bad, but yuri all the way. I mean like come on, a male turned girl, what's the point of going for guys? I hope you take this to heart, I don't care what anyone says.
Here again to remind myself how great this FanFic is. The writing and the story is exciting to read. Always feel happy when it updates. Kudos to the Author, you can have my stones everyday.
A história é muito boa , não pensava que iria gostar tanto da história até perceber que comecei a torcer para kori e Kara aparecerem juntas todo capítulo sz .
o começo foi bem impactante , é legal que ela não tenta interferir em tudo. acho que é uma boa novel, tem potencial principalmente o começo
Very good start I must say, but then the story goes downhill. There is a continuing need on the part of the author to write a character with ongoing weaknesses (trauma, loss of limbs and organs, can't control himself emotionally) there is no need for your character to be all powerful but get to the point of lowering him/her that much and then feeling the need for approval of his actions from kal He is a bit ridiculous. You have memories of his past life right? and now he has the experiences of his new life... I honestly don't understand. A solid 3 star
The Story is pretty well thought out, while there are some obvious forced plot points, its a really enjoyable read! How the various DC characters are portrayed is pretty true to canon & well done. the interactions between the various different individuals is well played out & feels quite organic & normal. Although it does has its downs such as a few personal pet peeves of mine, It was quite solid. (I also am not really sure on what to think of the new ‘power’ she got. Its a little Too angst for my tastes) the world even actually feels threateningly huge in a sense. Unlike many other Dc fics where the mc’s treat the dc world as their personal playground. Mc isn’t op really, but she’s also far from weak. I like how they incorporated the scientist/inventor background into it as well, while I kind of wish she could get stronger personally without the use of technology, its still not unwelcomed. Although, it mostly focuses on Earth & young justice. I do hope the world is explored a bit more though, theres so much to explore in the DC verse for it to not be explored a bit. As for The story development so far. its quite slow, but, it makes up for it through sheer quality and actually taking time to flesh out scenarios. Anyways, I enjoyed the read, it was phenomenally well written. I hope to see more! Thanks for the story, author! (Here, have a supergirl.)
Spoiler de révélation Pretty good, the angst at the beginning is not my kind of thing but still a very good fic.
absolutely wonderfully written, everything reads really well and smooth. love the writing style very competent character development and world building. I love the story and absolutely can't wait to read more
As of right now, really good story telling. Stpry flows well and things don't feel forced. Author put in hard work and does character development very well. 10/10 would recommend
Me gusta deseo y espero que sea Yuri xd y espero que sigas escribiendo está muy bien echa 👍 con amor un fan 🤩. .............., ..............
Very well written story that honestly too good for the usual quality posted on this site. I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking to read. It’s also great that it’s not just another young justice canon with an added OC. This story actually has its own plot.
Fantastic read for anyone who enjoys a darker young justice DC journey could not recommend this enough. The author is amazing, every new chapter I shout YES!! With a fist pump. 1) Kara is awsome 2) kori is awsome plus I’m hoping for a lil action 😉 3) it’s not overly op well she is kriptonian but she actually thinks unlike most mc and is empathetic unlike most mcs 4) its young justice So add it and enjoy
All I can say is perfect an amazing display of perfection. In all seriousness this is fantastic love the portrayal of the mc and her life of pain and friendship so keep up the amazing work im rooting for you and for those not totaly convinced come in the water is great
Main charcter loses and eye and a leg whole being expormentedd on and the first thing she does is go to earth, move in with a random human, and start making deals with criminals. Not very smart and annoying that shes crippled. She should have gone straight to the sun and absorbed enery for at least a year before going to earth
Definitely one of my favorite stories. It is depressing that the h*rny of society makes it difficult for such novels to go anywhere, as most people are busy abusing their micromeat to sensual words for some reason.