Tsitsi isn't in the kitchen when I wake up. The kitchen is eerily silent, I imagine a ghost is lurking somewhere behind the cupboards. I grab a box of cornflakes and pour them into a bowl. I am sure I hear them rattling, like they have turned into stones all of a sudden. Like everything else in my life they too have gained weight.
They are heavy.
Weighing me down. I throw the bowl into the sink without eating.
In the living room I am tortured by the sight of the studio. The look of betrayal on Tsitsi's face. I hurt her so bad. I didn't even love her right to begin with. And I already hurt her. Who does that?
Then the crumbs of cake on the table.
We may have had a small party by ourselves with Tari and Summer but it wasn't enjoyable knowing Tsitsi was obviously crying her eyes out in her room. I walk to her room and stop by the door. I put my ear flat on the door, hoping to gear some reassurance that she is at least moving around in there. But she isn't.
It is silent.