Chapitre 18: Chapter 17

Beck laid on his stomach, shirtless and scrolling through his phone. A lot of people to hang out with and he still didn't feel that validation. Not that they were horrible people per say, it was just that hanging out with them he couldn't be himself. He had to be Beck, the golden boy, the star quarterback, perfect Beck all the time. He just couldn't let loose. Just relax. There was one time an anime had caught his eye when he had been gathered with boys from his team, and the cheerleading squad.

The head cheerleader had looked at him and said, 'Do you really like that crap?'

He had to lie about that. Not like he hated what he had. He liked it and enjoyed the perks that came with it. No one was on his neck, he was given more liberty than the rest of the students and they all trusted him. He could literally do no wrong. His position was one of envy. Any fault found with him would spread like wildfire and that would do a lot of damage. He would become weird Beck, the jock that watches anime during his free time. He had to be what the people wanted. A cool teenager that could keep his grades, still party and didn't watch anime.

Don't get him wrong. There were cool people in his school group. Many that shared his other interests. For example his love for football and polo. None of them could compare to Matthew though. Just thinking about him brought a smile to his face.

He wasn't just some indifferent teammate, or someone that just wanted to be close to him to enjoy the perks of being a friend of Beck Cameron. The first day that they had met was one he couldn't forget. They took the same classes and Matt had looked bored out of his mind. He had been sitting down facing his side. Somehow they had caught each other's eye and Beck did what he did best.

Charm.

He had thrown a wink at him and Matt had rolled his eyes before giving him the finger. That had made him laugh and made the teacher scold him a little. They did talk after the class. Even if Matt had acted like he was being bothered, he didn't send him away. It had been different, but a cool and refreshing kind of different. Matt was the only one that knew he watched anime, and when he revealed that he was given an unimpressed stare and was called a 'weeb'.

He knew the slang. It was a sign that Matthew was perfect for him. There was one thing that Matthew didn't know though. Beck liked him. Like I want to kiss you kind of like. He had almost messed it up in the car days ago. If Matt had opened his eyes and saw him no doubt they wouldn't be friends anymore. Feelings did mess everything up. Girls that confessed to him and he rejected, they never came around anymore. He wouldn't be able to live with that awkwardness.

Matt had never said to him directly that he liked girls, or didn't like girls. He had just said they were cute. In his own goofy way he had asked and Matt hadn't replied him thinking he was just fooling around again. He always thought that he was fooling around, but he meant everything that he said. That kiss that he had requested hadn't been a joke. Beck flirted around, had his own share of experiences to know that he was okay with a girl or boy. To be honest he didn't care what pronouns they used. He was just a free guy.

If only Matt knew his true intentions.

Well now that he was thinking about him he wanted to see him, so he decided to text. 'You up?' he considered them 'hanging out' dates.

He waited a few seconds before he got a reply. 'You got somewhere in mind?' came the reply. He knew him so well. Another reason they would be perfect for each other.

'Yep. Wear something pretty. I'm on my way'.

'Weirdo' Matt replied with an angel emoji.

He wanted to text 'Your weirdo' but decided against it. He slipped his shoes and got his keys. He stepped out of his room and was about to head for the stairs, but he turned last minute and made his way to his dad's study. There was no need to check on mum anyway. She was never around. Not that he didn't love her or anything, but forgetting him in school one day and then showing up intoxicated that the teacher didn't let him get into the car. Dad made him start middle school elsewhere after that incident.

He knocked on the door and didn't wait for an answer before he opened it. He didn't bother to step in. He held onto the doorknob and shook his head inside. Dad didn't bother to look up from his laptop.

"I'm going out. I'll be back later".

"Where, with who and when?"

"Just to eat dad. With my best friend and before seven" he huffed. Now with his dad there were issues.

"I'll see you then" he didn't even look up.

"Bye" and she stepped back closing the door.

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Thomas looked up then and then and released a small breath. It was a good thing that he had taken his headphones off so that he wouldn't just hear white noise after he had found his release. He leaned back further in his chair spreading his legs. If Beck had come in earlier-he wouldn't even begin to imagine it. Good thing he had thought his child manners.

He was a hardworking man, worked most of the time and he came back to a drunk wife and a child who loved to give him attitude. They had tried family therapy once and Beck had gone on and on about how bad he felt because his dad was 'competing' with him in everything that he did. How indifferent his mum was and how he felt so unloved.

That had been quite earth quaking information. Well not with his wife. He and Beck knew the reality of Candice. He had brought up separation once and she had claimed passionately that she still loved him. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt love or that spark in their marriage. He was certain the only reason that she was still with him was because he had all the money to afford treatment for her due to her little problem.

And Beck. He loved his son. The boy was a carbon copy of him. People only thrived well if they knew they had competition. It was tested and proven in schools. The only way for Beck not to get too comfortable, to put in the best of his efforts was for him to have competition. And who else was better than dear old dad.

Beck was just emotional. He had no idea who he got it from. Not like it was an actual competition. He just said he had done it and Beck should be able to do better. That alone was taking his euphoric feeling away and giving him a headache. The point was that he worked, he got no love and support at home. Of course he would look for the solution himself. He wouldn't go on a dating site or anything like that. He was a married man and that wasn't the type of publicity him or his family needed.

He had just been scrolling through documents and that was when this ad came up. Something about chatting with people near you. It was his day off, he had nothing better to do so why not. He had been taken to their official website and had seen a lot of screens saying live.

He had honestly wanted to back out. There had been something really wrong wanting to see girls his son's age half naked. He was going to press exit when he had seen a picture. Of a boy in a mask, lying on his stomach with his ankles crossed. Heat had pooled in his belly when he saw that and he didn't know why.

The boy looked mysterious and the oversized shirt just did it for him. Registering and subscribing had been a blur. Tipping though he had been fully conscious when he did that. The same when he had requested a private session. The boy behind the mask just brought out something in him that he thought he had locked away, gotten rid of years ago. That primal feeling in him to just have, to dominate. Seemed like he was obsessed with the idea.

It seemed like he hadn't. He just needed to find the right person maybe and that person had fallen right into his sights. Quite easy too.

He adjusted his sweats. Seems like he could look forward to coming home now. Today wasn't the end.