Chapitre 16: How Pathetic

[Mandy's Diary at 17th y.o]

The only reason I joined in on the big Thanksgiving at the Harrisons' house was to accompany Candice to meet Trevor. To this day, I couldn't believe that she and Trevor were getting closer. It's nothing, I was worried that she'd turn into a popular girl and leave me alone. I couldn't imagine sitting alone in the cafeteria, staring at the salad on my plate with barely a touch of diet coke, then seeing Candice turning into a blonde girl sitting on the popular student bench. No, it was too terrifying to imagine! After all… how could she possibly be accepted by the popular students?

Yeah, well. Although Candice was sometimes stupid, she was the best at English. She was interested in taking English Literature in college later. Same as me. Ah, I was doubting if we were separated twins. We were like a pair of slippers that couldn't be separated. Always together. Just imagine you left with one slipper, didn't it bad? That's how I was with Candice.

It's too much and I'm nauseous.

"Trevor!" Candice screamed at the sight of Trevor Harrison walking up to her.

My mouth opened with my eyes wide open as soon as Candice got in front of Trevor and the guy kissed her. Again I repeat, Trevor kissed Candice. Damn you Fields. I'd never even felt what it's like to be kissed by a guy and she's ahead of me?! For Squidward's big nose's sake, I wanted to drown myself in Antarctica.

Candice gave me the code with a wave, and she and Trevor walked together; even I still couldn't believe my own eyes when Trevor put his arm around Candice's, dodging behind the crowd. More precisely, Trevor introduced Candice to his parents.

I bit my lip, dared to swear that makes me incredibly jealous. How could Candice, whose IQ is even below average, date a school superstar? Okay, maybe Trevor saw Candice based on something unseen. Maybe auras? To hell with auras. I also had an aura, but none of the boys gave me the slightest glance.

"You don't have an aura," the devil on my shoulder said.

Damn.

My attention turned to the expanse of heaven on earth. Yes! Various types of food on the table. There were various kinds of food available on the table there. I was eager and interested in trying them all. My stomach even rumbled with an unpleasant sound once my eyes were exposed to the expanse of food. Fuck diets.

If this was the way, it seems I failed the diet. But, who resists the tantalizing temptation of the food there. I hastily stepped over to the table and immediately devoured all the food.

"Mmm…"

My hands and mouth couldn't stop moving! Damn, the Harrisons' cooking is delicious. While stuffing the food into my mouth, I brought some cupcakes on a plate and forced them into my bag. I hope no one sees my action. I feel like I want to steal all the food in this house and eat it alone until I'm satisfied.

My hands stretched forward again to reach for foreign food that I had never tried—even I knew—before. It was round and covered in something black—like seaweed. Without much thought, I devoured it down my throat. Damn, there is a sea aroma that smells delicious and feels delicious on my tongue. I want more!

"Wow, I've never seen someone eat this much."

My head automatically moved sideways like a robotic head that has sensors. I spit out the food that had not fully touched my throat as soon as I saw Justin Bedington standing with one hand in his trouser pocket. His brow furrowed when he saw me choking. For Gandalf's beard's sake, I was utterly shocked! Why did he come to me at the wrong time! I'm sure he's been disgusted by the sight of me before. Oh Neptunus, just kill me.

I was still coughing. The devil on my shoulder laughed loudly, banging his wand at me like it was something funny. A glass was held out to me as I nearly choked to death. My eyeballs moved to the side, saw Justin with his monotonous expression holding out a glass of water for me. It felt like my heart fell to the ground at the sight of that sweet gesture. My mouth dropped open, and it was only then that I realized I had stopped coughing.

"How long have you been looking at me like that?" he interrupted my daydream.

His voice… oh no, I wanted to soar into the clouds just hearing his deep, sexy voice. I hastily changed my expression with a big smile, then grabbed the glass he held out. I took a good look at the glass. A smile lingered on my lips. I-touched-the-glass-that-Justin-held-out.

"Do you like Japanese food?" he asked interrupting my stupid daydream.

"Uhm… Japanese food?" One of my eyebrows pulled up.

"Yes. The food you eat just now is Japanese. Sushi." This is the umpteenth time I've seen that honey's sweet smile. I bet my face must be dumber than Patrick Star. "I like Japanese food."

He loved Japanese food! The devil on my shoulder said that I should just go with what Justin likes. Who knows he glanced at me a little. Even if it's just a little bit of dust.

"Yes! I love sushi!" I lied. Of course, with a reassuring face because I was the queen of lying. "The shape is cute." I laughed a little, thought it was funny.

The corners of Justin's lips pulled down. He leaned his body against the edge of the table without taking his eyes off mine. I watched carefully how he looked at me. How his eyeballs are moved with such calculation. How the color of honey could look so charming in his irises. Pretty sure he's Aphrodite's son—unbelievably perfect.

"Even though the food is made from fresh raw fish, I never tire of trying it."

Instantly, the smile on my lips disappeared. What the fuck did he mean? Fresh raw fish? I laughed pitifully. Fresh raw fish is in my stomach. Are they busy swimming in my belly now?! Slowly my palm moved to touch my stomach and felt the presence of the fish Justin was referring to. It's terrible. Worse than Jason Voohee's terror because I just swallowed raw fish.

"Are you okay?" Justin asked to be sure. He reached for a nearby glass of juice, then took a small sip.

"Hmm… yes." Damn, suddenly my stomach churns.

"Well, I just remembered… you were at Rebekah's party, right?"

Instantly my stomach aches gradually disappeared. Damn, he remembered me. I, Amanda Gilbert. Friends since elementary school who never even seemed real in front of his eyes. Now he recognizes my face. It touched me, I even felt like crying now that I was remembered in Justin's big brain.

"Yeah…" I nodded my head responsively. A cheerful smile formed on my lips again.

"I still remember the lobster over your head." He smiled lopsidedly as if mocking.

Damn, that's what made him remember my figure. Lobster on top of my head. The dramatic events at Rebekah's party will never be forgotten by Justin. But, how could someone even as intelligent as him never know that we'd always been in the same school since elementary school?

"Uhm, that was a terrible stupid incident." I took another gulp of water that Justin had given me just to wet my throat which was getting dry.

This mouth… this mouth was even spoken to by Justin Bedington. Whoever poked me with a fork confirmed that I was talking to Justin. And he's real.

Justin raised his eyebrows. Even though his expression was so monotonous without emotion, there was a strange spark that burned through my body as a small smile appeared on his lips. I doubt, am I the only girl who gets a smile like that? Because as far as I know, he's even antipathy to his fangirls.

"I think you and George hit it off. You two are so cute."

What the hell? Did he mean George the Nerd? Damn, he thought I was George the Nerd's girlfriend. Maybe Justin seems to care about me because he thinks I'm not interested in him. It hurts a little. More painful than my first immunization injection in the hospital.

Should I tell him I wasn't George's girlfriend? But… what if he finds out I'm crazy about him? He must be avoiding me. Eww… no. I don't want that. I'd better keep my mouth shut about this one.

In response, I flashed a fake exaggerated smile. At least he thinks I'm funny. However, I think no popular guy likes funny girls. Holy cow, I could throw myself into the ocean if there weren't any popular guys who liked funny girls.

"Well, looks like I'll have to leave you here alone." Justin smiled a little again. Before I opened my mouth to hold it in any more pleasantries, he had walked away indifferently from me instead, choosing to approach his other friends.

Even now, he didn't know my name. How pathetic.

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