Chapitre 10: I AM ME!
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...
"Sometimes we must lose ourselves to find ourselves"
.....
In my past life I was never a very religious guy. But since I ended up in this new world I have to rethink my concepts. Gods exist here, beings who can decide my fate without my consent. Either because they have the authority to do it, or simply because they are insanely powerful.
That's why I feel a little uncomfortable in this church. I don't remember how Marvel treats Christianity or Catholicism. I know there are a lot of demons who call themselves "Lucifer", but I don't remember if there's a Heaven or Almighty God Yahweh that I don't even know about, like in DC with the Presence.
I know of The One Above All, but I don't know if he has representation in that religion. Or if the god of bible here is like Odin, I know that exist a Greek pantheon. And Baast from Wakanda. And many others.
Tch. It's uncomfortable not to know. I'm so behind that is not even funny.
But let's focus on the ceremony.
As expected, a priest is preaching at my parents' funeral. Then we will have the procession for the burial. And in seven days we will have the seventh day Catholic Mass.
Which consists in directing the soul of the deceased to God. Seven days I think is for the soul to solve any unfinished business or regrets on this plane.
So I'll be here for a while.
No problem, my classes return in two weeks. Staying here will be good for my mind and body.
I realized before by looking at the large land that my grandparents have. I can use it for training.
I'll be able to test my abilities without worrying about being watched like I would in New York.
I will start tomorrow. For today I will focus on my family. Both the one that left and the one here on land.
.....
It was very different from the burial in New York.
First the tradition is different.
And second, having my grandparents, people who are really devastated by the loss of my parents, makes it all the more emotional.
I know few people here, but a lot of people came to talk to me. Give their condolences, talk about my father's childhood, who had seen me when I was just a baby. And I really feel like they're being genuinely nice and kind. Restores my faith in humanity.
In this small community there is rarely an asshole.
The cynical part of my mind just argues that this is normal, in such a controlled social group, if someone gets a tarnished reputation their life is much more complicated.
But I just want to believe that there are people who are good just for being good.
If I get to be this cynical, I'll become Lex Luthor.
Many people confuse cynicism = intelligence. And goodness = naivety or foolish. In that regard I prefer to be more like Superman.
He's not a blind idiot who ignores what suits him. He knows very well that people have great potential for evil. He can hear them goddamit. He can listen to people suffering and doing atrocities better than anyone.
But he believes they also these same people have infinite potential for good.
Huh. Maybe because I'm in a similar place to Kent Farm, my thoughts are growing a little more optimistic.
That is good. I like it.
"You Always Think The Worst Of People - It Gives You An Edge...But It Also Blinds You To The Possibility Of Trusting Anyone." -Superman to Batman
"Justice Doesn't Always Have To Come From The Darkness." It's something Batman himself realizes after Superman's death.
hmm. Am I gaining Batman memories? Subtly at least. Memories make us who we are, then I will become more like the characters that I assimilated.
Well... as long as my body and mind isn't taken by anyone. No big problem. People change over time. And I'm still in control without being swayed. It's like watching a movie. You can learn and you can apply what you have learned to your life. But I'm not becoming a puppet to these thoughts.
The proof is that my way of thinking is much more Superman-like than Bartman-like, and I'm assimilating Batman.
But I'm Hector. I had a good life. Relatively wealthy, parents who love me. I have zero reason to be an edgy teenager who broods over everything or to become a villain.
I'll deal with the Kingpin, it won't be pretty. But I'm not of the night, the vengeance, the Batman. I'm Hector.
I'll do things my way, because any way I do it will be Hector-like. And I will make all these powers, experiences and knowledge my own for real.
Simple like that.
.....
After my little epiphany, the ceremony went off without a hitch. We're back at my grandparents' house. My grandmother went to rest. She is mentally exhausted. My grandfather and I talked for a while, before he left too.
It's still 5pm. I'm not tired. So I think I'll take a look at Gacha, plan what I'm going to train during my stay in Brazil.
I want the screens to appear in front of me.
[1/4]
[GACHA]
Gacha Points: 16
[2/4]
[Hector Belluci de Carvalho
Race: Human
Character Assimilation
Fully Assimilated:
-None
In Progress:
- [Funny Valentine - 28%] [Batman - 33%]
Summoned Characters:
-None
Powers:
- Source of All Living Matter
- Dirty Dees Done Dirt Cheap (Stand)
Equipped Items:
- None
Others:
- Chakra Books
- Unstable Molecule Suit
- E.D.I. Bio-Mech Suit V2.0 ]
[3/4]
[Non-used cards:
Characters
-Shego (Kim Possible)
-Flerken
-Loki (Earth-199999/MCU)
-Spider-Man (Miles Morales) (Earth-1610)
Items
- Sword of Actuation (Berserk)
-Batch of Heart-shaped Herb
-Zeta Flight Space Station (Earth-25271)
-Neutralizer Gun
Powers and Abilities
-Made in Heaven Stand (JJBA:SO)
Consumables
-Shonen Setting Travel Ticket (Low-Tier/One-month)
-Power Boost Card
-Background Customization Card x05]
[4/4]
[Cyoa Options:
Cyoa Points: 450
-Simplified Marvel Cyoa]
I feel like I'm stagnant in assimilating the characters. I've been in this world for six days, and I've only completed a third of the two. Normally I wouldn't have a problem. But on February 1st I will be running Gacha again.
That's right, despite the fact that I came to this world on the 21st, the possibility to deposit 100 Gacha reset points on the first day of each month.
And coincidentally, I would have accumulated 30 Gacha points that day.
When I arrived in this world, I had 1GP that comes daily. I spent 100 dollars to buy another 100GP. With 101Gp, I bought a general roll of 10 that spent 30GP and a roll of the setting (Marvel) that spent 60GP. In total I spent 90 GP, leaving 11 GP.
Why didn't I roll it 3 more times? It's 3GP per roll, right? When you roll a group of 10, it's sure to come with something with the tier beyond my level. In this case, it was Miles Morales and the Made in Heaven stand last time. That's why it's best to roll in a group of 10.
(A.N.: In the description of the essence, talk about Tiers. But I'm not using tiers. It's too hard to classify all the fictional omniverse like that. Because of this I am letting very ambiguous.)
On February 1st I will have accumulated at least 20GP, and I will be able to buy 100GP again. Giving me the number of 120GP.
I'll roll everything in general this time. I will win the incredible number of 40 cards.
There are two reasons why I don't roll into the setting again, firstly I can get things of here if I put in the effort, besides it's expensive.
And secondly, I want as many cards as possible at the moment. I want to get to know Gacha better. I'll be happy even if consumables come. I didn't know I could earn CYOAs, or tickets to visit another world.
And Marvel's power level fluctuates a lot. I can win from J. Jonah Jameson to the Beyonder. It's not much different from the general Gacha that spans all fictional worlds.
In six days I will have more cards, I need to assimilate the two I have now as quickly as possible. It will be my priority. Then I'll assimilate Miles, and think about whether to take a slot with Loki.
Maybe it's better to wait and see what will come in the next Gacha.
Focusing on other things, I will finally have the chance to test my titan form and regeneration more deeply. Here in Brazil I have more space and more time. I'll try to cut off a finger or an arm tomorrow, and turn myself into a small titan.
I don't know how well I can handle it, I have to be prepared for the possibility of being seen. Maybe I should go now? Um... nah
Tomorrow I'll find a way. There's a lot of space with mountains out there. And the trees make this the perfect place to use D4C.
I will train until I master out my few skills. I've been neglecting them for far too long. But I couldn't help it. I've been busy these days.
Now I will study magic.
How to imbue spells in objects.
I feel it will be useful in the future, but it is very complicated. But what young person doesn't want to learn how to craft enchanted items?
And it has great potential to combine technology with it. I know that in the short term won't change much, but the long term benefits are absurd.
I'm in a bottleneck trying to visit my own mind. No matter what I try, or how much I meditate, I can't get into my inner world and start working on my more complex mental defenses.
Do I need to have esper, psych or magic powers?
I know and feel that my mind is well guarded subconsciously, but I want to build my inner palace like the book says. It's so cool.
Tch. Let's focus on what I can do, instead of what I can't do.
...
27, January 2004
Brazil, Northeast region, Bahia, Chapada Diamantina
The sun is up and I'm stretching to start running. The activity on the farm started a long time ago, I would have left earlier, but my grandmother practically threatened me so that I would have to eat that third plate of cake. Not that I care, it was wonderful. Aipim cake from my grandma, Muah Chef Kiss.
I usually leave without breakfast to run, but I don't plan on coming back early. Because I'm going to train with the excuse of exploring the farm.
After finishing my stretch I start running. I pass people at work, wave at them. Stop by to chat a little with them. They give me their condolences if they don't have the opportunity previously. Others I ask about cool places I can visit.
Most people talk about the waterfall, an interesting trail, a cave. It is not by chance that this region is a great tourist spot.
There must be people at the waterfall, so I'll go to the forest trail. I quicken my step.
After almost an hour running I finally got where I wanted to be. The forest on my grandparents' property. It is full of jatoba trees, which can reach up to 40 meters in height. The ones here are usually between 15 and 20 meters.
Perfect.
I step inside and start moving more freely with my powers. Using D4C to appear on a higher branch. And I'm jumping from there. It would be easier with Spider-man powers but I'll manage.
Finally I find what I was looking for, a part that ends in a deeper ravine, a clearing about 10 meters deep and 30 meters in radius. Probably soil erosion in the past. The terrain is rocky.
I jump without hesitation. This is where I will have my first transformation.
After a look into space, I see I won't have a problem.
So I take my clothes off, leaving only my boxers. I set my smartphone in a corner to record, and take out the knife I had brought. I'll try to transform myself into the smallest possible version, I don't even know what it is. But I will.
To complete the ritual, I obviously start singing YOUSEEBIGGIRL.
I cut my hand and I transform.
.....
When I center myself, I'm crouched down in the clearing again. But I realize I'm naked, and I don't have a penis. That's the most important.
When my mind clears, I remember I was training my titan transformation. I get up and see that my head doesn't go past the beginning of the clearing, I think I'm about 7 meters tall.
It's not my limit, I feel like I can go over 100 meters. It's probably my minimum, similar to the cart titan that is 4 meters. I've tried my best to be as small as possible, but it looks like I might become smaller, perhaps.
Now, regarding my appearance, as far as I can see there is no deformity. Very human, no exposed muscles, but exposed bones.
I have bony protusions in several places, like on my ribs, elbows, and shoulders. I don't know about my face.
I look at my smartphone, realize it's still pointed at me. And I start doing poses, so I can observe my body later.
Now it's time to test my skills.
First harden, and it comes naturally with the skin on my arm hardening and darkening. Then it crystallizes. It looks so much like the hardening of the armored titan at first, in that a layer of armor, the shade darker than my skin, covers my arm.
As for the crystallization that the other titans usually use.
Removing the armor I brace myself and moves to wall of the ravine. And punch its.
A large crater opens, but my hand is destroyed. And it starts to regenerate almost instantly.
Strength and regeneration tested.
After that I text my fingers and teeth. They are extremely durable like the ones on the Jaw Titan. In fact, all my teeth look sharp and exposed from the mouth. But I can only tell by touch.
After that it's time to test the strongest of them all.
The titan warhammer, which can form any object with its hardened titan substance. I close my eyes and imagine my body being enveloped in this. White armor begins to cover my body.
The titan skills are coming very naturally, after that I start to form various objects like swords, hammers and even more complex structures like character statues.
They didn't come out perfect, but apparently I'm good.
(AN: Hector don't know but he is very good with using his powers in general. This factor is the result of the Gacha giving the possibility of using everything without problem, Batman control over his own body and Hector natural and hidden talent in using super powers. He can be cosidered a genius in this, a natural, and is only showing now.)
After several tests I want to get off the titan. I kneel and struggle to get out. I have to locate my real body at the back of my nape and wish to regain control of it.
With that I make the back of my neck open and emerge from the neck of my titan form. Parts of the musculature are still attached to my body. Like my cheeks and arms.
Hmm.. Before I completely withdraw I decide to try moving my titan body like this.
It's difficult... but possible. Like a mecha. I can make my Titan arms move and even Make my Titan body to get up. But it lacks precise control.
It's better to be fully fused with the titan. After I completely exit, steam begins to emerge from the body in greater quantities. I try to get one last look at the face.
Very human. Long black hair, teeth sharp and exposed, with the canines protruding more.
Very cool.
After it completely dissolves I approach where it was before and collect different substances that are the result of my hardening. Crystals and others. I'll study it later, to see if it has my genetic material and consequently a danger for me to let it drop anywhere.
Depending on the outcome, I won't be able to use my titan form carelessly. In fact, I never intended to use it in fighting. I find it useful just for the regeneration and the possibility to say "fuck it" and nuke my enemies in case of a desperate situation. Very American of me, by the way.
Then I'll go check my smartphone. Finally looking from a third-person perspective to my titan form.
As I sit down, I decide to cut and on my calf. A very long cut.
And don't transform...okay. I did it.
I won't have any accidents in case I cut myself.
Steam starts to come out of the cut and it closes almost instantly.
I want to cut off one of my limbs to confirm, but i think better of this.
The limbs have fingerprints and obviously genetic material. What will I do with a severed hand of mine? Bury probably...
But someone can find, a dog sniff and dig up. This could bring complications. My paranoid side will rest better knowing that no part of my body is lying around. Thank you very Much.
I still have two hours until lunchtime.
For some reason I decide to meditate, I feel it will be a good idea.
"..." Breathing in and out.
Then it happens, I can finally enter my inner world. In my mind.
The view is a night sky. The world is covered in water, like a endless lake that reflects the night sky, with few stars. There are a few clouds in the sky too.
But the main thing is the big beam of light on the horizon. Like a big tree made of energy. I see, it is similar to the "paths" of the subjects of Ymir. Only instead of sand it's a big lake.
Now I understand why I can finally access it. It's my knowledge about my abilities, the knowledge about myself. Previously I was afraid of making a mistake, so I was cautious in using my powers.
But now I have a good idea of what I can do.
How can I visit my own mind, my inner world, without knowing myself?
Ah. Feels good to learn.
....
After lunch (too Much by the way, grandma, you know?), I catch a ride with my grandfather to visit the city. He's going to meet some of his friends, they have a tradition of getting together in a bar, drinking and talking about their lives, and that of other people who pass by. Watching soccer also when it's on TV.
I have another objective, I will take a walk around the city and visit certain establishments. I have things to do and things to buy.
.....
"Are you sure that you want to take them off?" the dentist asks me while I sit in his dental engine.
"Yes. My teeth are good enough, I will put them back in the future. I just want to escape my Other dentist in New York." I lie. My teeth had improved a lot, and they were being hurt by the dental braces.
I know they are now doing more harm than good. I know my teeth will get perfect over time. So I'll take off my braces right here, with someone who doesn't know my dental historic. So as not to be suspicious of my so rapid improvement.
"Okay, if you insist. But I have to say. With time you teeths can go back to they previous positions. I advise to find a dentist trustworth and to finish your procedure." The dentist talks helpfully to me.
"Thanks, doc. I will." I lie again. Dentist never again.
...
"Soldering Gun and station; oscilloscope; multimeter; solder remove; hot glue gun; Rotary tool; drill and power suplly. That will be everything?" the clerk at the electronics store asks.
"Yes. And I will pay with this card. Is accepted here?" I respond by giving the card.
I'm walking around town buying everything that might interest me. I'm going to start working with electronics. I have a long way to go to build my own batcave-like hideout.
I also bought some fabrics and leather. Metal belts and compartments. I intend to make my own utility belt.
After I buy everything I think I need, I'm meeting my grandfather and friends at the bar.
I spent the rest of the afternoon drinking coke, playing pool, gossiping and hearing histories of the past.
With that I have a routine, training, eating, spending time with my grandparents, working in my utility belt.
I am completely focused on extracting as much of my abilities as possible.
With this, days later I finally complete the assimilation, exactly on February 1st, I finish assimilating Funny Valentine and Batman.
It took more than ten days to assimilate these two. I felt better than ever. And it was at the best possible time.
I'll use Gacha to get 40 cards and see who's next.
On February 4th, Friday, I will return to New York. And I will return much better than leaving.
Now. It's time to Gacha.
L’AVIS DES CRÉATEURS 
EvansKannon
EvansKannon Nothing to add here.
Thanks to reading. Any feedback is appreciated.
Give ideas and suggestions. Anything to made the history better to everyone. Stay good you all.
Till next time.
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
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