27Critiques
4.06
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Everything looks good except for a couple of things. 1) The hero doesn't behave quite as expected. He's a Viltrumite, a warrior several thousand years old, a troublemaker. But when he got to another world, he instantly settled down, goes on dates, reads books. 2) He lost some of his strength. And instead of training, compensating for what he lost (and he's a warrior, strength is very important), he gave up on it, resigned himself and forgot. 3) He got to another world and decided that it would do. Even someone like Mark would at least try to come back.
Viltrumite is nerfed like this he will get soloed by everyone pathetic , buff him up and stop making poeple know more about his race the guy on wattpad writes a better story than this .
[img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
trash 🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️ viltrumite.
exp..........................................................................................................................................
When I read he got a debuff and he lost a majority of his strength I was like ok he has 1,000s of years of experience and can train himself back to 100% and hey maybe him coming to the Marvel Universe increased his potential so he could increase his strength through more arduous training, I thought that would be at the top of his to do list because as a military man he doesn't want to get caught with his pants down and fight an opponent clearly stronger than him and him actually wanting to be at 100% and now the brainwashing........*sigh* I'm hoping this is a turning point in the mc and he does something and doesn't sit around chilling like he has be doing for the last months
So a story about à viltrumit but without the mighty strenght eh…. I mean what is gonna attract the reader is seeing a viltrumite not some whimpish guy
The story is good and all but there is something that may bug some readers like myself. In this story mc is nerfed and the author made it sound like it was the universe's will to limit his capabilities. The main reason someone will read this novel is because there is an alien who is capable of destroying planets as the mc so if His capabilities have been reduced then I dont see the appeal of this novel.
there are many things wrong with this fanfic. the obvious nerf. if you think about it, there are many people that can kill a Viltrumite in Marvel. even the sorcerer supreme can do it in less than 3 seconds. or perhaps send him into the mirror dimension. the whole power issue seems like the author wanted him "work hard on gaining power". this is something we have seen done multiple times in countless other stories. the relationship with Aunt May... okay, this is a personal one. I do not like it. I feel like you wanted him to get involved with peter somehow by all means. I can't even count the number of fics that do that. they always either want the main character to be a mentor or his best friend I guess here the author is going for "Daddy". like if that really means something to us readers. The pacing. I actually do encourage you guys to read it to better understand.
A nerf for no reason yes the au givesthor a reason but it’ s just a cop out because he can’t make a story interesting with a strong main character he is weaker than every heavy hitter in the movies and from the way the author explained it he can’t get his strengtht back
Spoiler de révélation
This story is pretty good work and I'm looking forward for future chapters. I can't wait to see how the plot progress and please don't drop this, it very good and there not that many viltrumite stories.
good👍 ......................................good👍 ......................................good👍 ......................................
only 8 chapters so far but the MC actually feels like an viltrumite and not a human with powers. no grammatical errors and such so good job author
I don't understand how you take away its power... I don't understand that logic, it's a tremendous buff... There are also several actions taken that could have been done in another way, but hey.
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
This is actually good! We'll see if this viltrumite fanfic will last long cause other authors who write viltrumite fanfics make 2 chapters then drop it without informing readers.
pretty good so far.. word count:fjdjdjdjjdcncjicndisbs I syxhxix8hxbdudjdhsoshxujrjdbduejeucbeicjebdifbcjrnd9nfvpwhjpcyebf9c pi her op indkso
Didn’t really see much storyline yet. I guess it’s kinda a slowburn story. But I like the way how you introduced the characters and the interactions between them. Idea is good too! Waiting for next chapter![img=update][img=update][img=update]
Really enjoyable writing! I did not really watch the movies but it makes me want to watch them. Plz keep posting!! I am pretty looking forward to see more characteristics and personalities of MC showing up btw.
Really Good so far!!! Only 5 chapters but there hasn't been any grammatical errors, there is great characterization and dialogue. I feel like the MC is an ACTUAL Viltrimite/alien and not just some human with powers. The author does great work with differentiating the characters and how they feel.
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MOREMORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MOREMORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MOREMORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE
I havent started reading it but the idea is already used once or twice before but they always drop it before 10 chapter and i hope that you dont do the sane because this idea cab work very well if you persevere even if the plot gets a little shaky it will still work.
Love it so far the grammar is good and it seems interesting so far………………………………………….
The shameless author here, I'm giving myself some review to start :D I hope everyone enjoys what I have to write. So far, I have a few ideas for the story but it would be nice to have some more. Please tell me your thoughts.
YOU BASTARD!!!! FINISHES THE STORY YOU CAN NOT LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THIS
Everything looks good except for a couple of things. 1) The hero doesn't behave quite as expected. He's a Viltrumite, a warrior several thousand years old, a troublemaker. But when he got to another world, he instantly settled down, goes on dates, reads books. 2) He lost some of his strength. And instead of training, compensating for what he lost (and he's a warrior, strength is very important), he gave up on it, resigned himself and forgot. 3) He got to another world and decided that it would do. Even someone like Mark would at least try to come back.
Viltrumite is nerfed like this he will get soloed by everyone pathetic , buff him up and stop making poeple know more about his race the guy on wattpad writes a better story than this .
[img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
trash 🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️ viltrumite.
exp..........................................................................................................................................
When I read he got a debuff and he lost a majority of his strength I was like ok he has 1,000s of years of experience and can train himself back to 100% and hey maybe him coming to the Marvel Universe increased his potential so he could increase his strength through more arduous training, I thought that would be at the top of his to do list because as a military man he doesn't want to get caught with his pants down and fight an opponent clearly stronger than him and him actually wanting to be at 100% and now the brainwashing........*sigh* I'm hoping this is a turning point in the mc and he does something and doesn't sit around chilling like he has be doing for the last months
So a story about à viltrumit but without the mighty strenght eh…. I mean what is gonna attract the reader is seeing a viltrumite not some whimpish guy
The story is good and all but there is something that may bug some readers like myself. In this story mc is nerfed and the author made it sound like it was the universe's will to limit his capabilities. The main reason someone will read this novel is because there is an alien who is capable of destroying planets as the mc so if His capabilities have been reduced then I dont see the appeal of this novel.
there are many things wrong with this fanfic. the obvious nerf. if you think about it, there are many people that can kill a Viltrumite in Marvel. even the sorcerer supreme can do it in less than 3 seconds. or perhaps send him into the mirror dimension. the whole power issue seems like the author wanted him "work hard on gaining power". this is something we have seen done multiple times in countless other stories. the relationship with Aunt May... okay, this is a personal one. I do not like it. I feel like you wanted him to get involved with peter somehow by all means. I can't even count the number of fics that do that. they always either want the main character to be a mentor or his best friend I guess here the author is going for "Daddy". like if that really means something to us readers. The pacing. I actually do encourage you guys to read it to better understand.
A nerf for no reason yes the au givesthor a reason but it’ s just a cop out because he can’t make a story interesting with a strong main character he is weaker than every heavy hitter in the movies and from the way the author explained it he can’t get his strengtht back
Spoiler de révélation This story is pretty good work and I'm looking forward for future chapters. I can't wait to see how the plot progress and please don't drop this, it very good and there not that many viltrumite stories.
good👍 ......................................good👍 ......................................good👍 ......................................
only 8 chapters so far but the MC actually feels like an viltrumite and not a human with powers. no grammatical errors and such so good job author
I don't understand how you take away its power... I don't understand that logic, it's a tremendous buff... There are also several actions taken that could have been done in another way, but hey.
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
This is actually good! We'll see if this viltrumite fanfic will last long cause other authors who write viltrumite fanfics make 2 chapters then drop it without informing readers.
pretty good so far.. word count:fjdjdjdjjdcncjicndisbs I syxhxix8hxbdudjdhsoshxujrjdbduejeucbeicjebdifbcjrnd9nfvpwhjpcyebf9c pi her op indkso
Didn’t really see much storyline yet. I guess it’s kinda a slowburn story. But I like the way how you introduced the characters and the interactions between them. Idea is good too! Waiting for next chapter![img=update][img=update][img=update]
Really enjoyable writing! I did not really watch the movies but it makes me want to watch them. Plz keep posting!! I am pretty looking forward to see more characteristics and personalities of MC showing up btw.
Really Good so far!!! Only 5 chapters but there hasn't been any grammatical errors, there is great characterization and dialogue. I feel like the MC is an ACTUAL Viltrimite/alien and not just some human with powers. The author does great work with differentiating the characters and how they feel.
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MOREMORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MOREMORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MOREMORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE
I havent started reading it but the idea is already used once or twice before but they always drop it before 10 chapter and i hope that you dont do the sane because this idea cab work very well if you persevere even if the plot gets a little shaky it will still work.
Love it so far the grammar is good and it seems interesting so far………………………………………….
The shameless author here, I'm giving myself some review to start :D I hope everyone enjoys what I have to write. So far, I have a few ideas for the story but it would be nice to have some more. Please tell me your thoughts.
YOU BASTARD!!!! FINISHES THE STORY YOU CAN NOT LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THIS