Chapitre 12: Reflections

Ivan

Instead of taking her back to the house we were renting, we stopped at a park on the borders of the dragon's territory. We found a picnic table to sit at. There isn't much light, which doesn't bother me, but I use my phone's flashlight to help Nefra see. It might seem odd to do this, but I wasn't ready to return to the others. Not yet. They were all too excited that they had a Luna now, which would be too overwhelming for Nefra. Besides, I'm not ready to share my mate with anyone yet. I already had to tell Taylor to refrain from telling our family—especially my mom.

"You're staring at me," Nefra frowns, noticing I'm watching her eat. But, unlike the last time, she wasn't fighting it, and I was grateful. "I know I eat like a guy."

"Don't see me complaining. There's nothing wrong with that." I take a bite out of my burger, considering what to say next. "You need to eat. You're too skinny."

"I thought guys preferred skinny women," Nefra raises an eyebrow, obviously not buying my statement. "Is that not the way werewolves are?"

"We like healthy girls." The correction makes me cringe. That didn't come out right. "I mean that I like a girl who doesn't look like they're going to fall over from hunger... that didn't come out right either. What I mean is... Look, I can see your ribs. You're too skinny."

"How do you know I don't like it?" That makes me scoff as if I was buying that. Nefra didn't come off as that insecure. I know women who are like that, and they're werewolves. "What? I might have done this on purpose."

"You made yourself bony?"

"I am not bony!" Setting her burger down, Nefra gives me a dirty look. "And I didn't. Ricky said I was too fat and put me on a diet."

"I hate that guy," I growl, staring at my mate and feeling guilty for the millionth time that I hadn't come looking for her before. She wouldn't be broken if I had, and Penelope would've been mine.

"I'm not underweight, not by much anyway. It's mostly because I don't leave the house much."

"Nefra, you use magic."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Nefra picks up her burger and takes another bite. I was worried about her. Not just her weight but a lot more, and when we got back to the house, I wanted Danny to give her a checkup. Then, when we got to California, I'd ask Luke to have one of his doctors do some tests. That bastard had abused her, but he'd done something else. What I'd overheard him and his bitch talking about when I was waiting for Nefra left a sour taste in my mouth.

"Magic works a lot like a shift. You burn a lot of calories doing it. That means every time you do a spell, you're burning energy. So you have to make sure you're putting that energy back in." It was strange explaining magic to a sorceress. I didn't know much about it myself. Just what Danny and my uncle taught me. "You're not a little underweight. Plus, you said Penelope is a week old. You need your strength to take care of her."

"My doctor said I'm fine." She rolls her eyes at me, finishing the burger before taking a drink.

"That's a human doctor. You're not like them." Scoffing, I get up and walk around the table. "How much do you weigh?"

"I am not telling you that." It always amazes me how no matter what race a female is, it's the one question they refuse to answer. Even Taylor and my mother are the same way. "And it's rude to ask."

"Like I care about rude." I lifted her so we faced each other and ran my hands along her side, trying to ignore the effects of our bond. "You shouldn't look this way."

"You..." Biting her lip, she wraps her arms around her middle in an attempt to hide, and I realize what I made it sound like.

"No! Goddess, no. You're fucking beautiful. The sexiest woman I've ever met. I love your body, but... I'm not worried about how you look. Fuck, I didn't mean it to sound that way!" When did I forget how to be smooth? "What I'm worried about is your health. I want my Luna to be healthy. I don't want to worry that you'll be sick because you haven't been taken care of."

"Your... Luna?" Nefra swallows, visibly uncomfortable. "I don't really know what that is."

"The Alpha is the pack's leader, and the Luna is the Alpha's counterpart, partner, and equal. So you are my pack's Luna." Nefra's face pales, and she gets that deer-in-the-headlights look. "In human terms, that makes you my queen."

"I... uh, I'm not really Luna material then." she tries to back away, but I keep holding her hips. "Wouldn't you prefer a werewolf mate? Someone who understands your world?"

"No." I didn't mean to sound as offended as I did. "A werewolf female would be a step down from you. I want you, my soulmate. You're meant to be Luna. You were born to lead our pack at my side. No one will expect you to walk into the Sebryanyy Kinzhal pack and know how to run it on your first day. We'll help you learn. My family will show you all the ropes for anything I can't teach myself. My grandmothers and my mom know all about the things you'll need."

"Your... mother?" I almost laugh at Nefra's anxiety, sitting back down, biting her lip in that nervous habit I've already noticed. "This is... going very fast."

"Yes, my mom. Sierra. She'll love you, but I'll warn you that she'll say the same about you being too skinny." I try to lighten things, taking a seat beside her. The emotional attachment we have toward our mates is almost instant for werewolves. The bond bypasses months of build-up that other races, including humans, must endure.

"If you'd seen Darla, you might not think that way." Nefra looks away, and I can't help sneering. "What? She looks like a supermodel."

"I could give a dragon's ass what she looks like. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. Compared to you, a supermodel is a mutant."

Nefra manages a weak smile, but she doesn't say anything. How could she not see how beautiful she was? It wasn't the mate bond making me see that. When we were in the store, people watched her as she passed, which wasn't because of her injuries. In a sea of mortals, Nefra was a goddess.

"This is so much, so fast." Nefra sighs, rubbing her face. "I have no clue what I'm supposed to do with all of this."

"Well, how about you finish eating, for starters." I take her hand before pulling her back onto her feet. "Then, we can work out the rest."

The ring on her finger pokes my palm, causing us to look at our hands. The metal and rocks are a sickening reminder of what she'd just left behind. I hated that thing. Jewelry was a touchy subject for me, but I can say without exaggeration that this piece is the most damning thing I've encountered in my life. That includes a cursed gem I had to deal with in the Middle East. It symbolized that she still belonged to that bastard, but I couldn't ask her to remove it.

Nefra takes her hand back without looking up at me, making me feel disappointed. Maybe she wasn't so sure about us. That was a real possibility. What if she rejected me? I could never do that, but she might not want me. There was still so much we needed to discuss, and she might not like what I had to share.

She plays with the ring briefly, twisting it around like a fidget toy. Then, with an almost pained expression, Nefra pulls it off her finger and stares at it. There's a mark where the ring was digging into her skin, and it's clear the stupid metal wasn't sized correctly. Nefra holds it like she's afraid it'll suddenly blow up. Then, placing it in my palm, she closes my hand around it, and I know what to do. Using my strength, I give the ring a hard squeeze, the metal breaking without resistance.

Opening my hand again, I show Nefra the broken pieces of what had been her ring. The gold was now metal fragments, and the tiny diamonds were out of their setting. It might not seem like a big deal, but to me, it was the equivalence of Nefra signing divorce papers. Taking them back from me, Nefra stares at the remains with a far-off look before walking away from me. I watch her go to the nearest trash can and unceremoniously throw the ring away like the trash it was.

Taking a seat where she'd been sitting, I watched as my mate stepped away from the trash, a soft smile on her lips. She already looked happier. Nefra keeps rubbing her finger while she's walking back to me. She isn't used to being without it. When she reaches me, I go to get up, but she puts a hand on my shoulder and pushes me back down.

"I think I'm crazy." she shakes her head, looking up at the moon before brushing her hair back. "I have to be nuts."

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