Chapitre 166: Chapter 13: Back to School l
-- MONDAY, JANUARY 16, 2006, WINTER BREAK --
I awoke early... really early. It was not yet sunrise, and all the lights were off in the room. But we were only a day or two past the full moon, and silvery beams of light peering through the cracks around the window curtains gave me enough illumination to make out the features of my bedroom.
I found myself in a familiar position: spooned behind a warm female with my left arm beneath her pillow and my right arm wrapped around her body. My morning erection was tucked into the cleft of her buttcheeks, but I resisted the urge to grind myself against her and instead rolled onto my back. I knew I should let Kim sleep. She certainly needed her rest after the workout I'd put her through last night.
Raising both of my arms toward the headboard, I stretched and sighed contentedly while replaying the events of the previous evening in my head, starting with that second kiss in the bathroom.
My first orgasm last night had been so powerful that my eyes had rolled up into my head and I'd felt my body's quivering down to my toes. I'd slammed my cock all the way forward, parking my mushroom head as close as I possibly could to the entrance to Kim's womb. And I'd remained there for several minutes after cumming, slumped atop her body while sucking wind and feeling quite dizzy in the aftermath.
When the world came back to me, and I'd regained enough presence of mind to elevate myself off Kim's chest by drawing my elbows beneath me, I'd looked down at her and asked why she was no longer on the pill.
"You broke up with me eight months ago. There was no need to take them anymore," she'd replied matter-of-factly. "I'd never been on the pill before YOU put me on it last year, and I went off it after you dumped me."
"But what about the beginning of the school year? The first day of classes you took me back to your room and had me fuck the shit out of you."
Kim gave me that mysterious Mona Lisa smile. "My period was due in two days. I knew I couldn't get pregnant then. And then we never had sex again after that; not until just now."
"And now? You're in the middle of your cycle?"
"My last period started on New Year's. Fourteen days ago."
"So there's a good chance I may have just fertilized you."
Kim had nodded. "Did you mean what you said?"
"That I'd take care of you? Absolutely. I'm looking forward to it, and I rather hope I DID just knock you up."
"You still want that? I mean, I can understand making a rash decision like that in the heat of the moment, little more than an hour after DJ left you. After everything you went through with the abortion, your emotions are completely out of control. But if you're regretting anything ... well ... there IS a pill I can go get tomorrow morning to take care of it.
I shook my head quite vehemently. "No. Heyylll no."
She blinked. "You really want a baby, don't you?"
"I do."
Kim had started crying then, happy tears that accompanied a brilliant smile that no longer felt mysterious. "Then I want to give it to you."
And just like that, my dick had started hardening inside of her. The mere thought of impregnating the beautiful girl beneath me had me raring for another round. I'd bent to kiss her, and kisses turned to fondling. Fondling turned to grinding. And the next thing I knew, my cock was hard and I was fucking her once again.
Without benefit of drugs or even extra girls as fluffers, I came four times last night, every single one of them spurting deep into the back of Kim's fertile womb. Having gone nearly a full week without cumming, my testicles had stored up quite the backlog of sperm, and each time I could feel the heavy load I was firing into her. After the second round, I'd needed to straddle her chest and fuck her face for a bit to get hard again. After the third, I'd flopped onto my back wheezing and shivering while Kim knelt over me to suck me hard once more. But in the end, every ejaculation was in a missionary position, with her legs either wrapped around my waist or hooked over my shoulders to let gravity help my swimmers along. Every last shot was fired in the best possible position to result in the pregnancy we now both wanted. I filled Kim's womb to overflowing last night, despite her best efforts to keep every drop inside. We wound up having to change the sheets to get rid of the wet spots, and eventually we fell asleep in each other arms.
Now, the morning after, I STILL had no regrets. My life was back on the path I'd been on a week ago, albeit slightly delayed and with a re-casting of my leading lady. But I wouldn't apologize for my choice of actions. I didn't feel remorse for the speed with which I'd changed lanes. I was done second-guessing myself. I was done with mourning the loss of past relationships. I was moving on with my life, moving forward. And I wasn't going to waste any more time moralizing over whether or not I was doing the "right" thing.
I wanted to be happy. I wanted the safety and security of a wife and family. And gawd dammit, I was gonna fight however I needed to achieve those goals.
Despite the early hour, I was now wide awake. The thoughts of fighting for my happiness and moving forward had energized me, flooded my body with adrenaline, and I couldn't remain in bed any longer. I briefly thought about spreading Kim's thighs and taking a fifth crack at fertilization, but I let my woman rest and rolled in the other direction and off the bed.
The air was quite cold once I was outside the blankets, and I grabbed a bathrobe and pulled it on over my pajamas. Barefoot, I silently padded out of the room and down the stairs, a pot of coffee in my immediate future.
I started the coffee maker and then meandered out of the kitchen while it brewed. I found myself wandering over to Brooke's and DJ's empty bedrooms. Brooke's bed was still made, but DJ's full-size had been stripped of its sheets so the girls could use them at Faye Nguyen's apartment. Most of their books and knick-knacks remained, and would remain until the girls figured out how to combine their things to decorate one small room. And there was still quite the clutter atop the vanity I'd built for Adrienne so many moons ago.
I'd promised them both that I would leave their bedrooms untouched in anticipation of their return, but a part of me didn't believe they ever would. They'd stop by, of course – Brooke more than DJ. They might even decide to keep the house next year, taking the two upstairs rooms and inviting a couple of friends to rent the bottom two. But I doubted either of them would move back in this semester.
Oh well. Moving on.
I collected my coffee mug, holding it with both hands to let it warm my palms. I took a careful sip and then headed back up the stairs. Going through the open door at the top of the stairs, I surveyed Kim's bedroom and went through a mental checklist of all the things she'd need to move in with me. Yeah, we had four bedrooms, but I DID want her to move in with me. I intended for her to become my wife, and I wanted to start living like it right away. Even though I'd proposed to DJ, we'd never actually lived as an engaged couple in this house. Even though DJ had shared my bed every night since we got together, she'd never moved her belongings into my room, not even for this past week.
Just another sign that we were never really meant to be together.
For a moment, I tried to mentally record each and every item Kim would need to bring over, since being her Master would require me to make those sorts of decisions for her. But then I realized that such micromanagement wasn't how I wanted to be her Master. Kim was a fully-functional and intelligent young woman. I simply had to tell her to move her belongings in with me and organize them for both of us, and she'd happily carry out the task with minimal interference from me.
We'd turn her bedroom into an office, or maybe just a big-ass walk-in closet. I'd keep her bed made and ready to be slept in. After all, I already knew Kim would want me to have other sexual partners, and on occasion she might want to rest in her own room while I pounded away at some other gorgeous coed. Still, I would always want her to return to me at night, and would command her as such. The mother of my child would deserve nothing less.
All in all, the situation was shaping up to be a pretty good one for me. Just Kim and me with plenty of room to spread out and be ourselves. We'd have the privacy to fuck on every surface of the place without worrying about anyone barging in on us. Our friends could still come hang out during the day without worrying about froshlings underfoot. And we could start practicing the domestic day-to-day interactions of married life right away.
Just Kim and me, playing house if you will.
Yeah, I'd miss having my little sister around. But on the other hand, she would be close enough to visit and yet out of the way when I wanted privacy. Brooke's bed was also still made for those days when she realized she needed to get fucked in a way her boyfriend simply couldn't provide. It was a win-win for everybody.
I knew what I wanted in my life, and I wanted it right now. Hell, I wanted to take Kim down to the courthouse and marry her on the spot when it opened ... uh ... tomorrow. Today was the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. But yeah, getting married on the spot tomorrow morning was a little too rash even for me.
Still, I wanted this child, and I wanted this family. I now knew what I wanted for the rest of my life, and when you realize something like that, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Stupid Bert. Can't believe he actually got me to watch When Harry Met Sally.
But the sentiment was true. I wanted "the rest of my life" to start right away, and it started with getting Kim pregnant.
Hmm, middle of the cycle or not, there's still a good chance she isn't pregnant yet. What time is it? Almost 7am? Not quite sunrise, but close enough. I've let Kim sleep for a good six hours. She should have enough energy for one more go-round.
Today is where my book begins...
The rest of my life starts NOW.
"Um, I'm not going to be your girlfriend. And I certainly won't become your wife."
"Excuse me?" I stared incredulously across the dining table at Kim, my brain not quite comprehending her reply. We were eating breakfast after the morning's attempt at fertilization and I'd just finished explaining to her my plan for turning us into a family. She'd balked at the idea of getting married so soon and I was quick to reassure her that I only expected her to be my girlfriend for now.
But apparently even "girlfriend" status wasn't going to fly.
Kim set down her coffee mug and gave me a frank look. "I thought we talked about this a long time ago. I am not – and do not ever want to be – your 'girlfriend'."
My eyebrows furrowed. "But then ... why... ?" I sort of haphazardly gestured up the stairs toward my bedroom.
"Why did I sleep with you?"
"Well, yeah! And you did more than just sleep with me. We fucked. And I came in your unprotected pussy in the middle of your fertility cycle. FIVE times already!"
"Because you wanted to."
"Because I wanted to?" I repeated incredulously. "Just... wanted to? I certainly WANTED to do that with you a lot of times over the past several months, but we never did it."
"Because you never initiated it. Ben, I can't say no to you. I never could. All last semester, if you'd simply tried to ... to take me the way you did last night, I would have let you. Anytime. Anywhere."
"But why?"
"Because I love you. Because you're my Master. Because I gave myself to you a long time ago ... you just haven't been ready or able to accept me that way since Dawn left."
I planted my right elbow onto the dining table and dropped the side of my head into my open palm. I gawked at Kim, thoroughly confused and desperately trying to wrap my head around what she was telling me. Her Mona Lisa smile was back, and she returned my gaze with infinite serenity. She was as peacefully content in this moment as I was frustratedly perplexed, and that smile was maddening.
So I removed the smile by squeezing my eyes shut and tilting my head forward. I shifted so that my palm now rubbed my forehead, and once I began massaging my temples I began carefully, "Okay, let's make sure we're on the same page. You are in love with me: yes or no?"
"Yes."
"You want me as your Master."
"Correct."
"But you don't want me as your boyfriend."
"Correct."
Still rubbing my forehead, I opened my eyes to find her still smiling at me. Rather gingerly, I asked, "You want to give me a baby."
"Correct."
"You'll remain in my life as the mother of my child."
"Correct."
"But you don't want to marry me."
"I don't."
"You don't even want to be my girlfriend."
"Correct."
I grimaced, and gave her a freshly perplexed look. "Okay, I'm confused."
"All correct statements. You certainly seem to understand all the parameters of our relationship."
"I don't understand anything," I sighed. "But I'm trying."
"You're a smart guy. You'll figure it out. Actually, I'm pretty sure you've already figured it out, but your sense of fairness and morality is getting in the way. You think that if I carry your child, then I will 'deserve' to be your wife, with all the respect and status that title entails. You think that by NOT marrying me you will not be making an 'honest' woman of me, and that it would not be 'fair' for you to pursue and date other women if I'm taking care of your child."
"Well... yeah."
Kim shook her head. "I don't want to be your wife, or your girlfriend. We've talked about this before. I love you, Ben. I'm IN love with you, and I always have been. But I know that you don't love ME. You never have, not in the same way you've loved Dawn or DJ or Adrienne. Please don't blame yourself. This is not a fault, and I don't resent you for it. You can't love me in that way, precisely because I'll never be your girlfriend or your wife. You simply can't, because--"
"Because you'll never be a partner in the way I would want my wife to be," I finished for her. "Because you're a submissive, and I would want my wife to be an equal. I would want my wife to inspire me and sometimes lead me and be willing to truly share in the decisions that shape our future. And that's not you."
Kim's smile turned genuinely proud. "See, I said you were a smart guy."
I grimaced again. "But it doesn't seem fair."
"Fair is not what I'm asking for. What I'm asking for is--"
"Is for me to be your Master," I finished again, nodding my understanding but not liking it. I paused for a moment to think, and then took a deep breath. "So ... what if I commanded you to be my girlfriend?"
Kim pursed her lips and thought about that for a moment. "I could play that role for you, yes. I would be happy to spend my days and nights with you, happy to satisfy you sexually, and I would be willing to be your 'arm candy' in public as it were. But you and I would both know that I could not fill the romantic void in your heart. You would never be completely satisfied in a life with me as your primary partner, and that's why I could never marry you."
"Even if I commanded you to walk down the aisle and do just that?"
"That command, I would refuse."
"Refuse?" My eyebrows went up in surprise. "I didn't know you had that word in your vocabulary."
"I've given it a lot of thought since we were last together. I'm devoted to you as my Master, but even a submissive can and should refuse certain commands. For example, if you commanded me to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't do it, no matter how firmly you ordered me. I cherish and value your direction, but there ARE limits. I won't kill myself without justification, and I won't marry you."
I sighed. "Should I be concerned that you equate marrying me and killing yourself?"
"Neither would be best for you."
"So you know better than me what's best for me?"
"Quite often, apparently, yes." Kim's Mona Lisa smile had returned.
"For a supposed submissive who wants to take directions from ME, you seem quite certain that you are the better decision-maker between us."
"Not a better decision-maker," she clarified. "But I do think I see the world with fewer biases than you. Less emotion. More logic."
"The life you choose to lead seems anything but logical."
"I know precisely what I want from life. Can you say the same?"
I sighed. "I want to be happy."
"Everybody wants to be happy. And that answer isn't very precise."
"No, it's not," I conceded. "So tell me: what precisely do you want from life?"
"I want you. I want you as my Master, because I know that while you may not ever love me romantically, you will always care for me and move Heaven and Earth to protect me and my children from harm. You will never abuse me, as some others might do if they were in your position. And I truly believe my life will be a happy and fulfilling one if I am allowed to be with you."
"Huh..." I mused on that. Kim's tone was certainly one of confidence. She truly believed what she was saying. "So what about me? What do you think -I-, precisely, want from life."
"You are a true romantic at heart. Despite your rather varied experiences, you have an almost Disney-like belief in True Love, coupled with a voracious sexual appetite that no one woman can ever completely satisfy. This creates a paradox, as the concept of One True Love cannot coexist with your sexual being. As long as the two sides of you are not in harmony, you can never be truly happy."
"Oh, great."
"So I'm attempting to fix that."
"Fix that? How?"
Kim pursed her lips. "I'm very sorry things didn't work out with DJ. I HAD hoped she could be your 'One'. You were very compatible, as she embodied nearly all of the qualities you wanted for your 'Ideal Life'. But the accidental pregnancy ruined what could have developed in your futures. She wasn't ready to settle down the way you were. Given more time, I think you two would have made a happy couple and have been ready to marry and start a family in a few more years. But not while she was 19 and still in college."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Okay, here's something: I DO have a prescription for birth control. I was planning to start them with my next cycle."
"What?"
"You told me before that I was on DJ's 'Green List'. And I told YOU that someday soon I would take my place on that list. I had hoped for that day to be within the next month."
"You were going to start sleeping with me again? Even if I was still with DJ?"
"Precisely BECAUSE you were still with DJ. That's the part about finding harmony between your two halves. DJ would be your True Love, your wife, your romantic partner."
"But you didn't even WANT me proposing to DJ! Before we left school at the end of last semester, you told me to take things slow and not do anything rash."
"Because I was worried you would push DJ too fast, the same way you rushed Dawn. What I wanted most for you was to firmly establish a solid relationship that could survive adding me on the side, and once you did, I was going to join in. I would help keep your sexual appetite satisfied and be a constant presence to support you and give you reasoned advice. And you would then be able to resume being my Master and taking care of me. Really, it's much the same arrangement we used to have with Dawn."
I sighed. "But the thing with Dawn didn't work out. And then I rather coldly dumped you."
Kim frowned and looked away for a moment. "It hurt, yes. But you couldn't reasonably be expected to keep me. Again, the two halves in harmony. Without Dawn as your True Love, you didn't have a solid enough foundation to continue being my Master."
"Well, I don't have a 'True Love' now, either. So why the hell did you let me cum inside you?"
Kim shrugged and smiled. "There are other ways of finding harmony. This is one of them."
"Getting knocked up and NOT marrying me? Okay, this you're going to have to explain."
The Mona Lisa smile came back.
"Oh, no!" I barked sharply and made short, chopping motions with my hands. "Nuh-uh. You're not getting away with that one this time. I need answers, and I'm commanding you to explain this one!"
Kim's smile only broadened. "Yes, Master." And then she perked up like she'd won a great victory.
I sighed and dropped my chin into my open palm again. What remained of breakfast was getting cold, but I didn't care anymore.
Kim sat up straight and folded her forearms on the table. She pursed her lips for a moment, concentrating on organizing her thoughts. And when she lifted her eyes to mine, I already knew she believed she had it all figured out.
"What you want most in life is NOT to be happy, despite what you keep trying to tell me. What you want most in life is the life your parents have: family. You're a people person, and it is having special people that you love and care about around you that matters more than all the sex in the world. Now for most of your life, you've been a child in that family. Your bonds were always with your parents, your siblings, and to a lesser extent, your friends. Then you went to college, and you started losing contact with your parents. Oh, they'll always be your parents, but you're growing up and becoming independent and you don't have them around to help guide you in your life, nor do you want to reach out and stay in constant phone contact with them. Likewise, you lost touch with most of your high school friends, and your rather sordid reputation has made it difficult to build similar friendships here. So that leaves siblings. Well, your older sister has graduated and moved out of town. Adrienne left to become a supermodel in New York. Your baby sisters are back home in high school. Now even Brooke has moved out. You're lost and isolated and oh so alone. And the two things you believed you were about to achieve, a wife and child, you've just now lost as well. For a guy who most values being around the people he loves, your life is looking pretty bleak."
My left elbow joined my right on top of the table, and I now rather glumly held my jaw in both hands. "Gee, thanks for the pep talk."
"So that's where I come in." Kim smiled genially. "I can't become your wife; I've already explained why that will never be in our future. But I CAN give you a child, and not just to provide you with the kind of family that will always be yours, but also because I want it for me. Because there's nothing in the world I've wanted more than having children. Even having a Master like you comes a distant second."
"Seriously?"
"I love children. I've been babysitting since I was twelve, and I haven't over-romanticized the notion, either. Some of the families I sat for were perfectly willing to go out of town for an entire weekend and leave me with their infant. I've changed diapers and bottle-fed and even spent sleepless nights dealing with fevers, ear infections, and really weird rashes. There's nothing I've ever wanted more than to become a mother."
"Huh. Devoting yourself to the care of another, prioritizing their needs above your own? Yeah, I can see that," I commented with a smirk.
Kim blushed. "I told you, back before we even got together, that I always wanted to devote myself to my Master and bear his children. You see, this way we both get what we want."
I frowned. "But how do you see this working if you won't marry me? I don't have a Dawn or DJ. I mean, if I was already married and twenty-seven and you decided to be my mistress or submissive or whatever and then join my household to raise your child alongside those of my very understanding wife's children, that would be one thing. But we're twenty-one, Kim. Are YOU ready to have a baby?"
She nodded. "I am. Even if we got pregnant last night, the baby won't arrive until early October; I already did the math. I'll have graduated and be working by then."
"So no MBA for you?"
Kim shrugged. "I can always come back for it later, if I need to. And you'll have graduated and started working too. I know you already prepared yourself for this eventuality with DJ. It won't really be any different. I already know you will help provide for me and my baby, the same as you would have done for her. And thus, you will have achieved a measure of safety and security in bonding not only with your child, but also with me as the mother of your child. The order of things might seem a little backwards, but THEN you would be free to pursue a romantic relationship to fulfill the other half of your being."
"You mean try and find someone willing to enter into a long-term relationship with a 21-year-old guy who has already knocked up another woman."
"Your future wife will accept me and our baby; otherwise she would not be fit to be your wife in the first place. You would never settle for a woman who demanded monogamy of you. The sexual creature inside wouldn't let you."
I sighed. "You really think you've got this all worked out, haven't you?"
Kim's chin rose. "I do."
I chuckled. "What kind of a Master has less confidence than his supposed submissive?"
"A work-in-progress. You're getting there. You'll fulfill your potential. It's just hard for you to have much confidence when you're at a place in your life that is so uncertain and unstable, and where you don't have those special people around you that you really, truly need. In the meantime, you have ME. You'll ALWAYS have me."
I sighed. "I don't deserve you."
"Yes, you do. You deserve me precisely because I know that you'll work so hard to earn my devotion."
I slid my hand across the table, and she met it. I squeezed her fingers, nodding as I replied, "I will. I promise you that."
Kim smiled. "Glad we agree. Now, I think we're both done with breakfast. And that was a pretty heady conversation for eight in the morning on a holiday. We both need a break, so what do you say we go back up to your bedroom and really make sure I'm good and fertilized, huh?"
"Up on my bed and in Second Position. I command it!" I ordered with a wide grin, pointing to the stairs.
Kim fluttered her eyelashes and practically had an orgasm in her chair. "Acknowledged, sir."
-- TUESDAY, JANUARY 17, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --
"Hey there, stranger," Bert greeted me with a fist bump and then hooked his thumbs into the straps of his backpack. "How was your winter break?"
I took a deep breath, glancing up the hill toward Cheit Hall and our first class of our final semester of college. "Long story. I should probably wait until we meet up with Kim and Sasha at lunch."
"Long story? Ooh, sounds ominous. You can't leave me hanging, bro. Otherwise I'll never be able to concentrate during Toshihiro's lecture. I'll miss some key and pertinent fact today that will inevitably lead to me failing the class, and you'll be directly responsible for me not graduating on time in May."
I rolled my eyes and started trudging up the hill. "I proposed marriage, and DJ accepted. But right before we came back to school, DJ aborted the baby, called off the engagement, broke up with me, and moved out. Brooke went with her, too. So now it's just me and Kim in the house."
Bert caught my forearm, arresting my forward movement while he circled around to face me. With a rather grim expression, he read my face to find that I was indeed quite serious about everything I'd just said. His eyes softened in apologetic sympathy, but he didn't say anything at first. A moment later, he let go of me and shrugged, starting up the sidewalk toward class while I followed along.
"You lied," Bert drawled. "That was a damn short story."
Everyone was in a somber mood by the time we left our usual Thai joint. Sasha was continuing to dress to impress, wearing form-fitting jeans and a sweater that proudly showed off her sweater-busters. She had been warmly affectionate in her initial greeting, and my somewhat chaste response had her complaining about whether or not physically attracted me anymore, but then she noticed Bert's and Kim's relatively grave faces and wound up asking who'd died over winter break.
Responding "My baby" had killed whatever good mood anyone had left. I ate little at lunch, spending most of my time somewhat painfully explaining to my closest friends what had happened and why DJ had chosen to do what she did. I didn't dwell on things, doing my best to be clinical in my descriptions and shrug the situation off like it was no big deal. But perhaps because the shock I'd been in on Sunday night and Monday had worn off, I actually felt the emotions more today than I had immediately after DJ had left me, and I could feel my throat getting raw during my explanation.
Bert and Sasha were dutifully supportive while Kim mostly looked on silently. Bert actually asked me if it would be okay to tell Lynne this news, and I told him I already assumed he would start the Stanford rumor mill all by himself. But I also told him to ask Lynne to please give me some time and space to work things out, as I already knew both she and Amber would be on the phone if not driving across the bay to psychoanalyze me to death otherwise. But I was done with pondering and analysis. I really just wanted to put the past behind me and move on.
Our lunch hour ended sooner than I would have thought, and suddenly Bert had to hoof it across campus. Kim and I shared our next class together, so after we paid the check and said our goodbyes to Bert and Sasha, I prepared to leave with Kim by my side. But Kim leaned over and patted my hand, saying, "I'll meet you at class in a bit, okay?"
I frowned, not yet understanding. But Kim flicked her eyes rather firmly toward Sasha, and I took the hint that I should stick around a little longer. "Uh, sure. See you in fifteen," I replied.
Kim nodded with a smile and then walked off, leaving me alone with the beautiful brunette sitting by my side. I had both elbows atop the table, with my fingers interlaced, my mouth against my knuckles, and my chin balanced on my extended thumbs, and Sasha reached up to pat my arm. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine, really," I replied with a shrug, not pulling my chin off my thumbs.
"Really?"
"'Sure, really."
Sasha's hand folded over my bicep and she gave it a little squeeze. "Really?"
I sighed. "It's not an ideal situation. I mean, I hadn't planned on coming back to school single and un-pregnant if that's what you mean. But I've had a little time to get used to the idea and I'm at peace with what's happened."
"A little time? She left you less than 48 hours ago."
I waggled my head. "Well, it was a decision that had been building up for a while. It's not like she took me by surprise. I sorta sensed what was coming for about a week."
Sasha now reached up with her other hand, getting a firmer grip on my right bicep and pulling my elbow off the table. I sat up straighter lest I face-plant and watched her draw both her hands down my arm until she held my right hand in both of hers. She looked at my fingers for a second before flipping those big, expressive brown eyes to mine and asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"I'm fine, really," I replied immediately.
Sasha shook her head, stroking the back of my hand with her thumbs. "I mean it. I'm here for you. We're friends, and I'd like to think we've become pretty close friends over the last few months. If you need someone to talk to ... about anything ... I'm here. You were there for me when I broke up with Rod, when I needed you the most, and it's the least I can do to be a ... a sounding board for all the thoughts and emotions that must be running through your head at a time like this."
"I appreciate the offer, but really, it's not something I want to think about that much. DJ is a sunk cost. I'm moving on."
"Ben, something BIG just happened to you, something terrible. You can't just bottle up your feelings and make them go away. As for DJ being a sunk cost, YOU were the one always telling me that people we've cared about can never be sunk costs."
"I know, I know. Yeah, maybe the pain is just so near that I can't stand it at the moment and don't want to deal with it. I'm man enough to admit that I'm avoiding and that my emotions could possibly come boiling out of me in another day or another week or who knows how far into the future. If and when that happens, I'll remember that I can talk to you, okay?"
"Okay!" Sasha gave my hand a firm shake before giving me a warm smile and sliding her left hand down to my elbow and dropping her right hand onto my thigh.
I glanced down, arching an eyebrow to find that her hand was doing more than simply resting on my thigh. It was rubbing ... no, caressing...
"And..." she began hesitantly, her eyes coyly cast downward before flicking up to meet my gaze. "If you need ... relief ... I'd be happy to do that for you, too."
"Sasha..." I said quietly but firmly, a warning tone in my voice.
"I mean it," she murmured in a husky voice. "You know I'd be happy to."
"I thought we were friends. Just friends."
"Friends with benefits, or did you forget the fun we had during those last few weeks of school?"
"That was different. I was with DJ."
"And now you're single."
"Are you looking to change that status? Take me back off the market?"
Sasha sighed at my defensive tone and leaned back, letting go of my elbow and pulling her hand off my thigh. As she averted her gaze, she mumbled, "I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind the instant you said DJ left you. But..."
I raised both eyebrows, waiting her out.
" ... But I should know better than to try and sweep you on the rebound. You're a great guy, and I know any girl would be lucky to have you for a boyfriend. I'm already jealous of whoever turns out to be your next girlfriend if it isn't me, and knowing that I feel that way about you would certainly complicate our friendship if we decided to get intimate again."
"It would."
"You're hurting and it wouldn't be good for your emotions. The friend in me knows better than that."
"Thanks."
"But that doesn't mean my offer isn't genuine. I'd like to think we're both mature enough to not get in over our heads and not cross any emotional lines neither of us is ready for. That and I know you're an amazing lover and my whole body tingles at the mere thought of the chance to hop in the sack with you again. I want you. I want you in me, on me, and all over my face; I just have to say that. If that overcomplicates your life and you want nothing from me but a willing listener and an affectionate hug or two, I can live with that. Being and staying your friend is important to me. I trust you in a way I haven't been able to trust many people in my life, and that's precious. I don't want to screw that up. But if you ever find yourself needing a little no-strings-attached stress relief, just know that I'm at your beck and call, okay? No pressure. No commitments or obligations. Just between friends. Cool?"
I reached over and patted her thigh. "Cool."
Sasha smiled, and she leaned in and pecked my cheek before hooking a thumb beneath her purse strap dangling from her chair and then hoisting it over her shoulder. When her purse was in place, she turned back to me and popped her eyes wide open in surprise to see me moving in for another peck, this one between both our lips. And she flashed me a brilliant smile as I backed off and then stood up.
"Just friends, but special friends," I announced while reaching a hand down to help her up.
She took my hand with a beaming smile. "Sounds great."
Kim and I didn't have time to talk about Sasha before class started, but the minute we walked out the door to head for home she took my hand and asked, "So what did Sasha say after lunch?"
I shrugged and started walking for home. We had some time to kill before Isakova's class later in the afternoon. "That I was there for her when she broke up with Rod, and that she's here for me now. As a friend, as a listener, or ... well..."
"As a willing lover?" Kim finished for me.
"Yeah."
"But you're not going to take her up on it?" She sounded a little surprised.
"Well..." I squeezed Kim's hand and gave her a significant look.
Kim stopped walking and pulled us off the walkway. "Do NOT make this about me. I'm not your girlfriend, and I don't get jealous, remember? So don't get all codependent and pledge your fidelity to me or anything like that."
I gave her a bemused look. "You know, for a supposed submissive you're awfully bossy with me."
Kim pursed her lips and averted her gaze, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, sir."
I rolled my eyes and tugged on Kim's hand, pulling us back onto the walking path and re-starting us for home. "I'm not taking her up on it because I like her too much. Because I wouldn't trust myself to let it remain casual. And to be honest, I don't trust HER to either."
"You mean she'll want to become your girlfriend."
"Yes."
"And you'll want HER to become your girlfriend."
"Yes. And the LAST thing I need right now is another girlfriend."
"Are you sure? Just yesterday morning you were ready to make ME your next girlfriend, not to mention wife." Kim waggled her eyebrows at me.
"Both ideas that you shot down immediately."
"Because they were intentions directed at me."
"So what are you saying? That it would be okay for me to go after another girlfriend as long as it wasn't you?"
Kim shrugged. "You're the kind of guy that hates to be alone. You WANT to love and be in love, and I can't provide that for you. You want a girlfriend, so ... get a girlfriend!"
I frowned. "Weren't you just telling me a few months ago that I needed to work on my codependency issues?"
"Yes, but things are different now."
"Different how? Because this time DJ aborted my child and dumped me instead of Dawn cheating and dumping me?"
"No, of course not. Both have been traumatic breakups."
"Any girlfriend I started a relationship now would HAVE to be a rebound."
"Of course. But then, maybe a rebound isn't such a bad idea."
I stopped walking again. "Okay, now I'm REALLY confused. I thought we had agreed on this a LONG time ago: Rebounding is a bad thing..."
"For who? You? Her? Many, many relationships around the world come on the heels of a previously failed one and yet still succeed. The so-called problem with rebounding is NOT taking on a new relationship while the wounds from the old one are still fresh; it's misplacing your emotions in the new relationship. The trap is falling in love too fast or convincing yourself that your new girlfriend is The One because you're in so much pain from the failed relationship. But under the right circumstances, a quote 'rebound' relationship could be a very good thing for you – especially you."
"So you want me to date again?"
Kim blinked and nodded slowly. "I think it might be a good idea, yes."
I frowned. "I think that maybe you hope a new girlfriend will distract me from trying to build a romantic future between you and me."
Kim blushed and immediately averted her eyes. "That ... That would be a positive side-effect, yes."
"Gotcha."
She shook her head. "But that is not my only goal. I'm serious: Having a girlfriend might be a good thing for you, so long as you keep your expectations grounded. It all comes down to what you want in the end: companionship. Let's face what seems to be obvious: you can't be alone. That's okay. Some might consider it to be a personality flaw; others might simply accept it as an aspect of who you truly are. You enjoy feeling love and affection, and you enjoy giving the same back to your romantic partner. You derive a lot of self-pleasure from the care of others, and their happiness is your happiness. In that, you and I aren't really so different. But the big key for you is to NOT form the expectation that your romantic partner and you will last forever. DON'T fall so deeply in love that you start planning the wedding six days into the relationship. And for God's sake, don't propose or give the girl a promise ring or start naming your kids!"
I pursed my lips. "This is about DJ, isn't it?"
"I TOLD you not to do anything rash."
"You did."
Kim just gave me a 'told-you-so' look.
I sighed and shook my head. "Okay so maybe I shouldn't have rushed my relationship with DJ, but that doesn't mean I should be doing anything ELSE rash, like starting a rebound relationship. Aren't I supposed to learn to make myself happy without being codependent on anyone and being alone for a while?"
Kim thought about that for a half-second before shaking her head and replying matter-of-factly, "Not necessarily."
I blinked. "So what are you saying? That I should start dating Sasha?"
"I think that no matter what I think, or advise, or anything, sir, is that you're going to have to make up your own damn mind about that one."
Sighing at her tone, I grumbled, "Seriously, with the low opinion you seem to have of me I don't know WHY you think I'd be a good Master for you."
Kim's grin was all teeth. "I know what I know, and I also know what I don't know. And I know what I want, and also what I don't want. And I want YOU."
I shook my head.
"So what shall we make for dinner, sir?"
I sighed and went with my gut feeling. "After that emasculating little conversation we just had? I need meat. We're stopping by Berkeley Bowl and picking up some steaks."
"Acknowledged."
Bert and Sasha met us at the house for dinner, and I isolated myself on the back patio doing the grilling while they and Kim handled other preparations in the kitchen and chatted about the day. I stopped inside one time to collect some spices and discovered that they were also talking about my love life. Bert looked contrite, as if he'd been doing something bad behind my back (or had perhaps made a comment I wouldn't have liked to hear said to my face). Sasha merely looked interested, and Kim's expression was as inscrutable as ever.
I quickly got back outdoors.
When the meat was done, I returned to find the table set and the potatoes and veggies done. The four of us ate with amiable conversation, we cleaned up the dishes, and got some studying done. Kim and Bert remained at the dining table, but Sasha joined me on the couch. Upon taking her place, she kicked her shoes off and then turned to recline against the corner of the armrest and backrest. Her now-bare feet she promptly snuck under the hem of my sweater, pressing her semi-frozen toes against my bare skin and sighing happily to feel the warmth of my body. I simply bit my tongue and forced myself to endure the cold sensation, and then I returned my attention to my book.
About two hours later, Bert closed up his books and announced that it was time to get home. He pecked Kim's cheek goodbye and then passed behind my couch. I raised my hand up to his for a fist bump, which he met. He then reached down and rubbed Sasha's shoulder, saying, "See you tomorrow."
But Sasha picked her head up and closed her binder. "Hold up. I'll walk with you."
Bert paused and arched an eyebrow at her. Sasha shrugged and jerked a thumb at me. "He's not interested, at least not tonight."
Bert's eyebrows went up, but he nodded and backed up. Sasha took about twenty seconds to load up her backpack and then she leaned across the couch, taking my cheek in her hand and pressing her lips to mine. But it was a short kiss, and she backed away as quickly as she'd leaned in. "See you tomorrow," she murmured while staring into my eyes before glancing at the dining table and adding, "Bye, Kim."
Kim waved wordlessly as Bert and Sasha went out the front door. She followed after them to flip the deadbolt before returning to the living room, and she found me standing by the archway pointing at the stairs. "My bedroom. Now," I stated calmly but firmly.
"Acknowledged," Kim replied, bowing her head slightly before preceding me up the stairs. A minute later, she stood still in my bedroom while I gently raised her sweater up and over her head and then unfastened her bra while standing behind her. Her breathing both sped up and deepened as I nibbled at her neck and fondled her nipples. And she moaned and turned her face into the underside of my chin when my fingers worked beneath the waistband of her jeans and I dipped my middle finger into her honeypot, using the moisture I found there to diddle her clit.
Two minutes after that, I stopped just short of letting her orgasm before guiding her onto the bed. I stripped away Kim's jeans and panties before lying on my belly between her spread legs. There, I finally brought her to orgasm with my lips and tongue, and then gave her two more before my own need threatened to burst out of my shorts.
Sliding off the bed, I stripped myself naked before grabbing onto her ankles and dragging her body to meet mine. I lifted her right leg and hooked it over my shoulder, spreading Kim's pussy lips to accommodate my entry and also give me free access to continue rubbing her love button with my right hand. As always, her love canal was skin-peeling tight; but her three climaxes had paved the way with copious lubrication, and I reveled in the sensation of her snug tunnel hugging every inch of my thick prod.
With her eyes shut tightly so she could concentrate on the feeling of my cock opening her up, she moaned rapturously and then sighed where our loins were pressed together at full depth. Only then did Kim finally speak. "You could have been doing this with Sasha right now," she sighed. "You know she wanted to."
"I know. I'm not blind. She was flirting with me all night." I ground my pelvis counterclockwise for two full circles while flicking Kim's clit, loosening her up a little more before slowly withdrawing and re-entering with long, languorous strokes.
Kim cooed from the sensations before replying, "Then why didn't you?"
"I'd just rather do this with you right now."
"We did it all day yesterday."
"I'm sorry. Are you sore?"
"A little. Going from virtually no sex for eight months to getting pounded non-stop for just about twenty-four hours? The body is not quite used to it."
"I can stop."
"No, no, of course not. I can handle it and your needs must be satisfied."
"I'd be satisfied with a blowjob tonight."
"No you wouldn't, but it's a nice offer. My body is yours to do with as you please."
"I'll be gentle then."
"If you wish. Or if you don't, you still can--"
"I'll be gentle," I assured her, still pumping but not speeding up.
"I know you will." Kim smiled. "Or, you can still call Sasha. She may not have boarded her train yet."
"Of course I'm not going to call her. Tonight or any time."
"So you've made up your mind?"
"Sex with Sasha means dating Sasha. I like her too much to leave her as just a booty call, and I'm really NOT ready for a rebound relationship."
"But you DO need companionship ... OTHER than me."
"Maybe..." I sighed. "Maybe it just has to be someone else."
"For a girlfriend? Or for just something casual?"
"Either. Both. You made a good point about the trap of a rebound relationship not being the relationship itself, but about me getting in over my head emotionally. I still don't trust myself with Sasha, to not fall in love with her if we did start sleeping together again. I suppose I wouldn't mind dating someone else, if for no other reason than to give your pussy a break from time to time."
"There's another way to give my pussy a break. You haven't taken me anally, sir."
I frowned. "You don't like anal."
"I value your pleasure over my discomfort."
"And I value your comfort over that particular pleasure. It's my call."
"Acknowledged."
I rolled my eyes at Kim's latest use of the word. It sounded so formal, almost robotic. It was a new phenomenon, but one that seemed to express her subservient acceptance of my direction without conveying an opinion on the matter. I wasn't yet sure how to handle it, but for now I was willing to let her do her thing.
"Besides, I still want to make sure you're good and pregnant, so until then it'll all be direct-injections," I added.
"Of course..." Kim sighed with a smile, both from the thought of getting pregnant and the way I'd leaned forward and started stroking her breasts. "Is there anyone else you have in mind?"
"For a potential new girlfriend? Not really," I replied, panting faster. Although I certainly could last a good bit longer, I knew she was still quite sore and I didn't want to delay my ejaculation more than I had to. So taking care to remain gentle, I nevertheless sped up my thrusts and relaxed my PC muscles to let the pleasure take over. "I suppose that's the point. Anyone I know and might consider a friend would complicate the emotions. Starting from square one, meeting someone by chance, and letting the dating dance flow like it does for any other college guy seems like a better idea."
"You'll meet someone soon," Kim huffed, closing her eyes and cooing as the pleasure seemed to overcome her soreness and she began giving me the telltale signs of an impending orgasm. Despite my initial decision to not hold myself back, I decided to at least wait to get her off one more time.
"Right now, the only woman in the world I care about is right here," I crooned, focusing on her pleasure.
Kim was beyond responding then. I'd dropped her right leg down, allowing her to instead wrap both legs around my waist. Her hands crawled up my forearms, and then two strokes later she suddenly gripped them, her mouth gaping open in a soundless gasp as her back arched and she bucked her pelvis at my crotch. I rammed her hard, twice, not worrying about her soreness at this point as she quivered and clenched in climactic ecstasy. And at the end of that second thrust, I held myself at full depth and let go, groaning as I felt each pulse of semen blast out of me and into the back of Kim's womb.
When I was done, I planted my hands on the bedspread to either side of her, gasping from the exertion and sighing contentedly from the orgasmic relief. She too was gasping, but she took my hanging head between her hands and tilted it up so she could kiss me.
I hummed into our liplock, the feelings only adding to my sensations of satisfaction. But then she let me go.
"Thank you," Kim said, still slightly out of breath. "That was wonderful."
"Thank you, for putting up with me even though you're sore."
"Your pleasure is my happiness."
I chuckled. "Still, I should probably find someone else to take the edge off and give you a break, huh?"
"I would appreciate it, yes," she replied right away, smiling but still panting.
I shook my head. "You're one of a kind, you know that?"
"I do," she replied confidently with a grin.
Finally, I extracted my deflating prick from Kim's pussy, and then rolled onto my side next to her. "We'll shower together, where you're going to give me a blowjob so I can get one more round out of the chamber. I'll sleep better that way."
"Of course."
"And then you're spending the night with me again. Until I find another girlfriend, you're all I have to cuddle with. And you KNOW how much I like overnight cuddling."
"But if I don't cuddle with you overnight, that'll just spur you even harder to find another girlfriend sooner than later."
"Perhaps, but this one I'm making an order. I like cuddling, and don't pretend that YOU don't like cuddling either."
Kim's Mona Lisa smile was back. "Acknowledged."
I smirked at the response. The twinkle in Kim's eyes told me she understood as well.
With a sigh, Kim reached up and caressed my face. "Who knows? Maybe you'll meet your next girlfriend tomorrow?"
I chuckled. "Tomorrow? Yeah, who knows?"
-- WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --
"Hiya, Ben!"
I turned and opened my arms just in time to have a fireball of auburn hair and excessive energy slam into my chest. She didn't really have a running start – more like six steps and then a jump – so I only had to take a step back to absorb the impact and gather my hands beneath her little butt to hold her up.
"Hiya, Red," I replied, puckering up just in time for Paige to kiss me. While I'd been surprised the moment the petite redhead vaulted into my arms, I'd been expecting her. Paige had already emailed me her class schedule, all three of them on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Since this was her first day back on campus, we'd made plans for her to join my crew for lunch.
Cheerily, Paige nuzzled her nose against mine and sighed happily as she set her cheek down on my shoulder. I glanced past her right ear over to Kim, finding that my walking companion was giving me rather significant glances with her eyes darting suggestively to the pretty girl draped all over me.
I frowned and shook my head in the negative. I could tell that Kim was suggesting that Paige might make for a good "next girlfriend", but I really didn't think that would be a good idea. For one thing, Paige had started seeing her new guy, Everett. And besides, I'd already told Kim that current friends would bring too many emotional complications for something like that.
Oblivious to my exchange with Kim, Paige hugged me for another few seconds and then dropped her feet to the ground. "Hey, Kim," she chirped.
"Good morning, Paige. How was your winter break?"
"Ugh. Don't ask. April got back-to-back colds which led to a nasty ear infection. The fever wasn't even the worst part. It was something about the antibiotics that upset her stomach and created the most unholy explosions you'd ever seen inside her diapers. Seriously, there's poop everywhere and then she's wriggling around because she's uncomfortable and feverish and she keeps trying to stick her heels back into the poop and ... ugh ... such a mess!"
"Well then. Glad I didn't ask," I deadpanned to Kim.
Paige giggled and interlaced her fingers through mine. "So how was your winter break?"
I found myself glancing at Kim once again, and commented, "Maybe I should have just sent out a broadcast email. Get all this out of the way."
Paige heard my tone and squeezed my hand. "What's wrong?"
I sighed and gestured toward the diner. "C'mon, I'll tell you on the way."
Paige was suitably sad for me, and I was relieved (albeit a little surprised) to find that Bert and Lynne had actually kept my breakup with DJ a secret for an entire day. That said, I decided I'd be alright if the word got out since all my closest friends now knew, and I gave Bert and Paige the green light to talk about it with Gwen, Robin, Kady, Noelle, and the rest of the Stanford Crew. Amber I took care of myself, calling her after we finished lunch. My ex-girlfriend was suitably sympathetic and wished me the best, although she dared to suggest that maybe I was destined to be with Dawn after all.
I started getting defensive, but Amber didn't apologize, even if I felt hurt. I suppose she simply HAD to believe in Destiny, given her own romantic situation.
In the meantime, Bert was in my living room on the Xbox, and when my call was over I went down to join him. We played for about an hour and then packed up our bags to get to our afternoon class. Along the way, we rendezvoused with Kim and Sasha. It was our Isakova course, after all.
My Capstone Project team actually encountered the professor on the way into class. She was strutting down the hallway toward us, apparently having just come downstairs from her office. I waved hello and then began leading my friends into the classroom, but she called out, "Ben!" and I stopped in my tracks.
Five seconds later, Viktoriya walked up and hugged me, quite firmly, and she whispered in my ear, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I patted her shoulder gently, feeling awkward as I realized about twenty of my classmates were watching Professor Ice actually HUG me. As far as anyone knew, it was the first public display of human contact she had ever shown. Like EVER.
"I'm sorry," she said softly into my ear. "I know you had such high hopes for that relationship."
"It's okay. I'm fine, really."
"You know you can always talk to me, right?" she asked, pulling back to arm's length with her hands still on my shoulders while she stared into my eyes.
"Of course."
Professor Isakova nodded and then marched into the classroom, all business once again. I glanced sideways at Kim with raised eyebrows, stating more than asking, "You told her?"
Kim shrugged like it was no big deal and then gave me a look that clearly said she wasn't going to apologize for it.
Sighing, I walked into class. When I did, there were a couple of groups who conspicuously stopped talking and all stared at me in unison. I glared in each of their directions and my classmates quickly found other things to look at.
An hour-and-a-half later, my crew and I headed out. In the courtyard just outside the building doors, there was a knot of students to the left and one of them turned around to face me.
"Hi, Ben," the pretty blonde greeted, clutching her binder over her substantial chest.
"Hey, Casey," I replied without slowing as my friends and I continued through the courtyard. Casey McCahill was a fellow Senior and a classmate in the program, so we were on friendly terms. Lots of girls in the program liked to stop and say 'hi' to me in passing, and it pretty much happened every day. I thought this was just another one of those times, but Casey reached out and touched my arm, so I stopped to look at her.
"Hey Ben. How's it going?" the peroxide blonde asked in a friendly manner.
I shrugged. "Been better."
She frowned, nodding. "Is it true? Did you and your girlfriend break up?" she asked with an expression of honest concern.
"Uh, yeah," I replied with another shrug. "It's alright. I'm moving on."
She pursed her lips and gave me a sympathetic pout. "Well good luck. I'm sorry about you and your girlfriend, but I know you'll be alright. I hope everything works out for you."
"Me, too."
Casey nodded and patted the side of my arm gently. "Well, take care, okay?"
"Thanks. I will."
She gave me a brave smile and then turned back to her friends, although I caught her glancing back at me once more as I turned to rejoin mine.
Sasha, Kim, and Bert had waited up for me, and Sasha flashed me a knowing smile while Bert shrugged like he was used to such interruptions (which he was). But we only got a few steps forward before a sudden thought occurred to me and I stopped in my tracks. "Hey, Casey?" I called out as I turned back.
"Yes?" the peroxide blonde flashed me a new smile as she turned around as well. The two girls she was talking to similarly rotated to face me.
I walked back until we were a comfortable few feet apart and furrowed my eyebrows. I hadn't planned this, and it took me a moment to collect myself before asking off the cuff, "Hey, do you have any plans Friday night? Maybe you and I could grab a bite to eat ... catch a movie ... or just hang out."
Casey's eyebrows shot up in surprise, as did those of her two friends. She glanced at them for a moment before canting her head and giving me a warm smile. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
I nodded. "Sounds like, yeah. No pressure though. If you're busy, that's cool."
"No, no. Not busy. Not for you," she replied immediately. "I'd love to."
"That's great. Here, I'll give you my number and you can text me your address. I can pick you up, what, at seven? Eight?"
"Seven sounds great!" Casey practically bounced, which did nice things to her sweater puppies. I found my eyes yo-yoing to them before I could meet her gaze once again. Casey noticed, and flashed me a bigger smile. She held out her phone and dutifully typed in the number I was reciting to her. And instead of waiting, she started tapping out a text message right then and there.
Moments later, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I whipped it out, glanced at her address on my screen, and saved her phone number on my contact list. "Great," I said, raising my eyes to hers and giving her a smile. "I'll see you Friday, then."
"Can't wait." But then Casey's smile faded for a moment, and after taking a step closer to me, she reached out and touched my arm. "Just wondering – and I probably shouldn't be asking you this – but why me? If you're newly single, you could ask almost any unattached girl on campus to go out with you. Quite a few attached ones, too. Why me?"
I shrugged. "You're beautiful, and nice, and you said 'hi' to me just now as I came out the door. Fortune favors the bold, I guess."
She smiled at that.
"But I don't want to lead you on. I AM coming off a pretty bad breakup, and I'm not going to jump into anything real serious right away. At the same time, I'm not asking for a booty call or anything like that; I don't want you to think I'm looking to add another notch to my belt. Just some good company, no pressure or expectations, and a chance to get to know each other a little better, okay?"
Casey grinned and then took my arm, pulling me closer to her while she leaned over and pecked my cheek. "You're sweet. I look forward to Friday night."
I smiled back. "Me, too. See you later!"
Casey let me back away and gave me a little wave. I rejoined my friends, finding both Bert and Sasha giving me appraising glances. Kim, on the other hand, gave me a proud smile. "That one work for you?" I asked her.
"She'll do."
"Do for what?" Sasha asked with a frown. "'Cuz if you were looking for a date Friday night, I would have been happy to go out with you."
"We're just friends, remember?"
"Fooey. What, I gotta quit the project team and stop coming by for dinner to be considered date material?"
I reached out and wrapped an arm around Sasha's shoulders, pulling her into a hug. "Hey, no crossing lines, remember?"
"Right, right," Sasha grumped. "But if Casey ends up getting laid before I do, I'm gonna be pissed."
"Sasha. We agreed... 'Just friends'."
"I'm a friend who wants to get LAID. Like yesterday."
I smirked and shook my head. "Since when did buttoned-up Miss Studious turn into such a wanton nymphomaniac?"
"Since YOU scrambled my BRAINS out over Thanksgiving break, duh ... I never knew what I was missing before, and now it's been a freaking month since we last got together!"
I chuckled and rolled my eyes, finally shooting a glance over to Bert.
"Hey, don't look at me, dude." He held his hands palms out to me. "-I- certainly don't want to get into your pants."
On the way home, we swung by Sather Gate and picked up Paige, who had also just finished her last class. We'd previously arranged to meet her there and also for Paige to join us at the house for dinner. One thing we hadn't previously agreed on, though, was for Sasha to do the cooking, and yet she insisted on just that as we walked the rest of the way home.
"Least I can do since you're providing the food," she stated.
"And an opportunity for you to prove your domestic capabilities for a potential boyfriend?" I asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Oh, so you DO consider yourself my potential boyfriend!"
"Not me. Bert. Rumor has it that you're looking to steal him from Lynne."
"Rumor-what?" Sasha shot a look over to Bert.
"Hey, don't look at me." Bert quickly put his hands up. "Ben's coming up with this shit outta his ass."
I laughed. "I'm just saying, you told me last semester that you weren't much of a cook. Mostly making cold sandwiches and cup o noodles if I recall."
"Well I've been working on that all month, and I'd like to show you what I've learned. And hey, if I DO so happen to prove my domestic capabilities, I would think that could only help my chances with you, right?"
"Depends on the quality of the meal, I guess," I replied with a chuckle. "If you wind up giving me food poisoning, you and I may NEVER get together."
Everyone chuckled at that, and Paige reached over to touch Sasha's hand. "Hey, I'll help you. Unless you think that'll defeat the purpose of proving yourself to Ben as a meal-provider."
"Not at all. I'd appreciate the help." Sasha slid her arm around Paige's shoulders. "Honestly, I want to cook more because I want to feel like I'm contributing than any need to impress HIM."
The two girls smiled at each other, and their partnership lasted well into the kitchen and afterward. During dinner, the pair sat next to each other chatting a mile a minute, and I wondered aloud, "When the heck did you two become besties?"
Sasha glanced at Kim and then Bert for a second before shrugging and replying, "Since that wild and crazy threesome we had over Finals Week. We started texting each other and even met up a few times over Winter Break to go shopping or get coffee or just hang out."
"Really?" My eyebrows shot up.
Sasha nodded. "That is, whenever I could pry her away from Everett."
"Oh that's right." I set my fork down and folded my hands together, setting my chin on my thumbs and my elbows on the table as I stared across it at Paige. "How are things going with the new boyfriend?"
"He's great, he's great," Paige replied, her somber tone belying her words. She blushed and looked down at the table.
I frowned. "Is 'great' good or 'great' bad? Because your expression is kinda confusing right now."
Paige smiled and raised her eyes back to mine. "We went on a lot of dates, and he came over to the house on Christmas to visit. We've also had a lot of playdates with the kids, and ... well..."
She looked hesitant, but I gestured for her to go on.
"We slept together."
"That's great!" I enthused.
"Is it?"
"What? Is he terrible in bed?"
"What? No!" Paige gave me an apologetic look. She gathered herself before more calmly repeating, "No. Everett's fine in the bedroom. He's not YOU, but then nobody is. But he keeps me satisfied, and he didn't even freak out when I started getting ... uh ... a little intense."
I grinned, knowing just how freaky an intense Paige could be. "Then what's with the long face?"
"It means Everett and I are 'together' now. And that means that you and I ... well ... we can't--"
"We can't hook up anymore," I finished for her with a shrug.
Paige nodded. "I feel like I'm abandoning you, and right after you just lost DJ."
"Don't feel that way. I don't feel abandoned. In fact, this is what I've always wanted for you, remember? To find a nice guy who will take care of these needs for you. It's not like I minded our hookups, and they certainly gave me something to look forward to every Tuesday. But we both know I always wanted you to eventually find someone else."
"So you're not upset?"
I grinned broadly. "Quite the opposite."
Paige looked relieved.
Picking my head up, I extended my hand across the table. Paige met it, and I moved my hand on top to give hers a pat and a squeeze. "I'm happy for you, Red. I really mean it."
"Thanks, Ben. For everything."
"Anytime."
"Anytime?" A sly grin spread across Paige's features. "I'm gonna hold you to that. If for whatever reason Everett and I don't work out, I'm gonna be right back on your front doorstep looking for some physical therapy."
I chuckled and glanced over at Sasha, Bert, and Kim. They all just shrugged at me, like such proclamations from girls in relationships were a common occurrence. "Fine," I replied with a smirk. "You got a deal."
-- FRIDAY, JANUARY 20, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --
At 6:52pm on Friday night, I found a parking spot just outside of an apartment complex on Fulton. At 7pm on the dot I knocked at the door to unit #223. And thirty seconds later, the door opened to reveal a stunningly beautiful blonde clad in a very nice, very short red dress.
"Wow..." I breathed, leaning back six inches to help myself take everything in. Casey wore strappy high heels, dangling earrings, and a gold necklace that drew my attention downward to where her nice tits were put on display by the V-neck of her dress. Her peroxide-blonde hair was pinned up in back but with sassy bangs shooting forward to both sides of her face. She smiled broadly as she watched me eye her up and down, placing one hand on the open door and posing with hip cocked and one slightly bent leg for maximum sex appeal.
I glanced down at my jeans, Argyle sweater, and faded gray blazer and arched an eyebrow. "I thought I wrote 'dress casual' in my text."
"You did," Casey replied with a smirk. "Even so, you can't blame a girl for wanting to dress up a little for a date. It's not like I get to wear something like this onto campus."
"Still, I hope you have a jacket. It's pretty cold out tonight."
"I'm sure it's absolutely nippy," she teased while reaching behind the door and pulling a black peacoat off a wall hook. But instead of pulling it on, she trapped the coat against her chest and gave me a coy smile. "Of course, we could completely skip the going out part and just stay in tonight."
I wasn't totally surprised by Casey's offer. After all, she'd spent the better part of two months LAST semester making it quite clear that she'd like nothing better than to have a Big Ben Experience of her own. At the same time, I really did want to go out and have dinner and spend some time just talking to a pretty girl. Kim was right: I was a guy who wanted companionship, more than just between the sheets. I actually LIKED the romance of flirting, affection, and conversation, and that was why I'd agreed so readily when Kim encouraged me to go out and date.
If that's the case, maybe you picked the wrong girl to ask out.
It was too late now. Shaking my head to decline Casey's invitation, I reached out with one hand and gestured back down the hallway with the other. "I meant what I said when I asked you out. Let's go out, have a good time, and get to know each other a little better. As for what happens after that ... well, I'm sure we can figure that out along the way."
État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone