Chapitre 9: Kate ~ Sins of the Past
Ever since her meeting with Ethan, Cathy became quiet. Usually she had a sneaky comment after every little thing I said but she had stopped arguing. Frankly I had enough on my plate so I let it go, she would sort out her issues, I refused to get involved. I was busy with our coffee room too. A week ago Jack had asked the Alpha to announce that the library was free to use again so we had customers coming in. Not many, but enough to give the place life. The nerd who were always searching for more information for their school projects, the introverts that sought a different world in the pages of a novel, the mothers who wanted kid’s folklores to read to their babies, the people obsessed with Do It Yourself projects who were always searching for books on life hacks. The place was booming with life. Like a miracle. Even the depressing theme of the library seemed to wane in the face of such a beautiful atmosphere.
I worked diligently for sure, as diligently as I could in an environment saturated with the scent of cakes that always made me want to puke, maybe this was a bad idea. Working as a library receptionist was one thing, caring for my customers at the coffee room – which was really just a secluded room on the other side of the main library – was another. I struggled.
I struggled with the scents, with the pricing, with calculating the costs and the sales, with dealing with a depressed Cathy, and lastly, I struggled with Jack. Mate Jake who visited the library every day under the pretense of supervising the place. I was pregnant, this was the end of my first trimester, my body was craving the body of another, specifically the man that seemed to have been destined to be mine.
‘You don’t have to come every day you know, Cathy and I can manage just fine.’ I said the moment he walked through the door, I was cleaning out a table that a customer had been using by the fireplace so I didn’t even turn to look at him, he was a temptation. I could tell it was him by his scent, it was enough to notify me of his presence.
Unlike the other days when he came and stood by the reception looking at the ledger and then correcting the mistakes he claimed I had made, he simply stood behind me.
‘Are all the customers gone?’ He asked
‘They are.’ I replied and went out of the room, I did not want to deal with him. Cathy had left thirty minutes ago, my last customer had left exactly when I was closing up. I was not complaining however, since she had stayed the whole day, she had ordered three cups of coffee and that meant more money for me. I could not wait to get out of this cake scented room and go to my apartment.
‘Good, I need to talk to you,’ I turned to him then, cocking my head to the side, urging him to say what he wanted to say, ‘Preferably in a room that will not make you nauseous.’ He said after a short pause.
He had noticed. I was stuck between getting emotional that he was paying attention to me and being embarrassed that I had slipped up enough for him to notice. Before I could reply he walked past me and leading me to the apartment. He did not go in, he stood outside and waited for me to catch up.
‘You’ve been here for a month now, since you are not bringing it up, I will. Who is responsible for your pregnancy?’ there it was, the question I had been dreading. It was not that I did not want to tell him, I was not ashamed, but I did not know if the story was worth telling. It was not my favorite.
This was selfish. But the terms for living here did not state that I should tell my story.
‘Do you have to know?’
‘I deserve to know.’
‘Says who? No one told me that I had to share my life story, and you clearly told the alpha that I would not stay long. I don’t see the point in telling you.’ he heard those words and snapped, I could see it. His face held a rage that I was sure was compound, surely no one got that angry from hearing a petty excuse. This was a fully enraged male and I was the target of all that anger. Instinctively I took a step back, my hands shielding my stomach, this was a threat. His wild side was just on the surface.
‘You don’t see the point in telling me?’ I did not reply, ‘Is this part of your plan to use me?’ Again I did not reply. ‘Answer me!’ He yelled in a voice that sounded close to growl. I was terrified, whimpering with eyes closed, hoping that he would not touch my stomach, that he would touch me.
‘You can here with a plan to use me right, to fully use me as you put. For a month now I’ve let you have you your way. So what do you offer me in return?’ he was breathing so deeply, as if trying to restrain himself. I shrunk further into myself.
‘You do not want me around you, you do not offer any explanations on why you run from your place, and you say you can’t tell me the father because you don’t see the point!’ I heard something breaking then. I peeked and looked and saw the pot of mint that I had been given by Mrs Kim when I first moved here. I had been taking care of it since I believed that it was the first real thing that I owned that was truly mine. The pot could not be salvaged, the herb looked as broken as I felt in that moment. Would he hit me next? I looked at him and his eyes looked murderous.
‘What do you have to offer me then, answer me!’
I had knelt before this man. I had shed tears before him. I had begged him to rescue me. Now that I thought about it, I had offered him nothing of worth. All I did was take and beg and take more. There was nothing I could offer him. My virginity had already been offered to another, my pride had been sold and my attempts at repurchasing it had proved futile, my dreams had died the day my family was murdered. I was a maid, was raised as a maid. What could I offer Jack, the Heir to basically every business in this pack. He had everything.
‘I’m sorry.’ I said choking on a sob, I said the words over and over again while he was growling a few paces away, fighting to regain control. Minutes passed like that.
‘Still, I am shameless enough to stay here regardless of what you say, or how angry you get.’ I said. ‘I am not leaving.’
He laughed then.
A strange maniacal laugh that sent chills down my spine. My hands fully covered my stomach, ready in case he decided to do the unthinkable. Then just as abruptly as his laugh started, it stopped the moment he sat himself on the ground. His hands looking to the darkening sky as if asking for answers, then he bowed his head, hold it with both his hands as if it weighed a ton and he needed relief. In that moment I wanted to be his relief. To be his comfort.
‘I constantly feel the need to touch you, to protect you, to be with you, to provide for you. My mind is torn between being angry that you betrayed the trust given to mates and being overjoyed that I found you. Even so my body fully accepts you as a mates and it drives me crazy. I see you and I want to mile, I catch your scent and the world seems like a better place. I see you pregnant and working tirelessly and I want to sit you on a chair, feed you and give you a massage. Do you understand these feelings?’
I did not.
I could not understand those feelings.
But I understood that this man was completely heartbroken. Being who he was, he could not show that broken side to just anyone. I was the cause of this so I had to deal with it – that is how I understood his rant. I did not know how to deal with it. But I wanted to, more than I had wanted to do anything before, I wanted to make him better, to ease his burden. So I sat on the ground as well and calmly started explaining.
‘I did not belong to the pack I run away from, I was sold there,’ he lifted his head as if to ask me what I meant, ‘that’s a story for another day.’ I said quickly. ‘After struggling for a while I ended up in the Alpha’s house as a maid. Life wasn’t easy but I loved the routine. The Alpha has two children, a boy and a girl. At some point the little boy decided he wanted to experiment with women, he was young by then, around eleven years old. The alpha, being the indulgent father that he was, told him he could have all the maids he wished. There were five of us, since I had been assigned to his sister, I was spared and soon he grew bored with the game as he called it.’
Jack was paying close attention his fists clenched so I knew he was not liking this story at all. But now that I had started, I could not stop.
‘Years later, young master found and lost his mate in death. He was devastated. I’ve never seen someone in so much pain. To continue his line, the alpha offered him a female from a neighboring pack, she was the beta’s daughter and she had also lost her mate. I think the young master was still grieving, whatever the case he started playing his games again, this time with anyone willing. Then he took a liking to me.’ Jack growled, he was expressing displeasure, although I knew it was instinctual, I was flattered.
‘There is no future for us maids in that pack, so I responded. I wanted his favor. For a while we fooled around, knowing that once his betrothed arrived, I would be cast aside but with better prospects. However I got pregnant. I was carrying the next Alpha but obviously his Father would never accept such a child, I could easily be disposed of. The pack was celebrating the union of the young master and his new wife on the day that I let.’
I waited for a response from Jack but he gave me none. Maybe sharing this story was a mistake.
Cadeaux
-- Cadeau
reçu État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone