My sister and I stopped sharing a room when we were six years old. Mom said we were too different to be expected to put up with each other and she was right, I was pink and she was the whole rainbow. After that we argued less, got along better, over time we even kept each other’s secrets. I was not her best friend and she was not my best friend, but she was the one person I would do anything for. We had developed a bond that was not bound by likes or proximity. Our souls were bound to each other. I had always imagined that if I had a mate then it was definitely Carol – she completed me. The deity always has other plans, however, so I knew that he was out there somewhere but I made no efforts to find him. I had a sister that completed me, a brother that would do anything to protect me and a dream I was fighting for. There was simply no reason to rush to find him and frankly, I loved how stable life had become.
Yet that day, standing in front of Kate in the library with bloodstains all over me I felt cheated. Whatever plans the deity had, I was sure she was laughing at the turn of events.
I was in a daze. Kate was trying to ask what had happened. Jack stood frozen at the entrance door. Then Kate was ushering me through the door and past the columns of books and through the back door, then to her apartment. Yet all I seemed capable of doing in that moment was relive the moment I had been brutally bitten, marked as belonging to someone. Where had it gone wrong?
I clearly remembered the car ride from the library to the campsite that afternoon, Jack and Carol were on odd terms as always and as always I had ignored them and instead focused on Ian, our unofficial guard. He was a somber man, always seemed lost in thought. There were days I spent observing him to see if he would let loose even one of his thoughts to the world but all my efforts proved futile, Ian only made one thing perfectly reflect on his face – his hatred for his job. He had been born to a family that, for generations, had been servants to ours. I could not even imagine what that meant, being destined to be a servant. Jack insisted on having Ian around, against Ian’s pleas to be stationed elsewhere, because of his strength. Over the years he had stopped complaining and we had accepted that our relationship would always be an awkward one. In the car behind ours were four others, all of them Jack’s friends.
Our destination was the free zone, a land that had once been the home to the smallest pack in the region however an epidemic had wiped them out eleven years ago. None of us believed that story but we had no way of knowing the actual truth so we accepted it. Pack laws, which stated that should either be allocated by the deity of should be given to another if he won a challenge, prevented Alphas from claiming it as theirs. And so it became the free zone. As long as we stuck close enough to our bolder we would be safe, or so they said. This was the first time for me to go to the free zone. If did not hate outdoors and camping I would have been excited.
One hour thirty minutes later we had arrived. The camp site was beautiful, all pack lands maintained nature as much as they could but this place had been untouched for more than a decade. It had charm. I loved it. As part of my defiance I had volunteered to go searching for berries. That had annoyed jack which meant that it amused Carol. Ian offered to go with me but I declined. He hated his job so he did not offer again. Hayden and Adrian volunteered to collect firewood so we set off. We got along just fine. I had accepted a long time ago that males treated me as they would a baby – with protection and adoration – yet I knew that none of them expected anything from me. On the other hand, Carol was fierce, they respected her. So I knew how they would act, I expected them to do it. They gathered all the berries I showed even the slightest interest in. when my containers were full they asked me to wait as they gathered their wood. I obeyed.
I should have disobeyed.
It happened so fast. I felt him before I saw him. I had never seen a wolf so ferocious. It did not rush towards me, it moved painfully slowly as if it knew I would not run. And I couldn’t, I was paralyzed by fear, by awe, by excitement. Its yellow eyes locked on mine and for a fraction of a second I wondered how it perceived me. Carol had said I always looked like a princess, would I get mercy from this beast based on this look alone? I hoped.
It bared its fangs at me, a low growl as if to say “Do not move”. Yet I did. Fear had won over. Come to think of it I should have screamed, Hayden and Adrian were close. Still I did not scream, could not scream. But the slight step I took backwards did not go unnoticed by those feral eyes. It charged at me. He was my mate, I could feel it. The bond was similar to the one I felt when Carol was near me yet this was stronger. Stronger and utterly terrifying. By all sanity I should have turn around to run the moment it charged at me but I stood still. If that was not the moment then I should have run when he shifted back to his human form and towered over me, making me painfully aware of our difference in strength. Even when I could see his human eyes looking at me as a prey I remained grounded, gripping one of two containers that I had been sampling berries from. If I ever retold this story I would hide that in that moment, I felt like I would not mind submitting to that strength.
But I knew I was prey, and I knew that I could not see any warmth in his eyes. Nature won over and I lowered my head. Carol would have maintained eye contact. She was strong. I was just a decorated princess so I lowered my head. I let out a plea, whatever it was I was pleading for, I had no idea. Yet in that terrifying moment I would have anything to get his away, even if it meant a few paces away. He must have interpreted it differently. Truly he hid.
So without my consent, he marked me. He bit me.
The neck is such a sensitive spot. For pain, for pleasure. In that moment all I flt was pain. I had never felt pain so intense, surely there was no going back from this. His teeth were in so deep, too deep. He would kill me.
I would die if I did nothing. So I screamed. I finally screamed.
He let go, the container slipped from my fingers and I rushed my fingers to my neck. Blood. I was bleeding.
It was like my world had stopped. Hayden and Adrian had come back and they were fighting the barbarian, all I could do was watch. My knees gave out and I sank to the ground, the spilled berries staining my dress red. Then Carol showed up along with the others, she rushed to hold me close and the tears came. This was a disaster.
By now they had him pinned to the floor, Jack looked so livid. He could have killed the barbarian if it were not for carol pointing out that he was my mate. Even that did not stop him from landing as many blows as he could. I just wanted to go home. Someone, could have been Ian, offered to clean my wound but I wanted to see it on my mirror before I wiped off the ugliness. It would get infected sure, but I wanted to see the damage my barbarian mate had dealt before I cleaned it off. So we started off, headed home, with the barbarian in shackles carried in the other cars. He was so bruised, they had done a number on him.
My messy dress and neck meant we could not go through the pack territory without arousing curiosity so the safest place to hide was the library. No one visited the library these days. With the arrival of Kate, the apartment behind the library was fully furnished. It had a first aid kit, and a mirror. Now that she had seen me like this, I wonder what she thought of me. I wonder what my barbaric mate thought of me after that scene.
‘I want to see him.’ I said to the alpha the following day. I had cleaned up well. A scarf over my neck covering my wound. Jack was present as, the Alpha and three of the highest ranking members were present. ‘Regardless of what happened he is still my mate,’ I continued, ‘I want to at least know why he went that far.’
Jack was silent, the Alpha hummed to show he was contemplating what I had said. The other three simply looked at me. Their gazes zeroing in on my scarf that was hiding my mark to the point that I could feel my mark start to throb again.
‘He asked about you too.’ Said Mr Green. He held the second highest rank in our pack and he was generally known as a kind man. Then he continued, ‘He asked how you were doing. However we cannot let you meet him yet. We do not know who he is, he could be a criminal. So until we find out who he is, we will simply update you on how he is doing.’
That made sense, it made complete sense. But they did not understand that I was a newly marked female now, whether I liked it or not I was irrevocably bound to that barbarian. I felt the need to see him. If Carol and I had switched places, she would have fought back, she would have presented her case to them and convinced them to let her see her mate. But this was me, Cathy, Submissive Cathy. Sometimes I wondered why I was not like her.
‘I understand, thank you.’ I said and we left the office. Jack was silent as we left the building and on the way home. When we got home however, he stayed in the car with me.
‘Don’t you think it is strange?’ he asked
‘What?’ I asked him back
‘Our mates.’ He said sadly.
Unlike me, Jack had always dreamt of having a mate. He was a romantic at heart. He had made sacrifices that we all thought were unnecessary simply because there were days he claimed he could feel her. He had waited his whole life for a mate and he got Kate. Beautiful Kate. Pregnant Kate. Runaway Kate.
‘Are you saying it is strange that we have mates?’ I asked
‘No,’ he chuckled, ‘I think it is strange that we have the mates that we have.’
‘Philosophical.’ I said and we looked at each other. We had been lucky in life so far, maybe this was where the luck run out. ‘On the bright side, Kate will leave soon.’ I continued
I had no idea what Jack was feeling, or what he was thinking in that moment. He had changed, anyone in their right mind would have changed if they had been put in his position. Part of the reason he had planned the camping trip was to get away, I had overheard a conversation between him and Hayden where he had said he could feel her, Jack had wanted an escape. Even when it was just me, him and Kate at the library when I was trying to clean up my bloody mess he had stayed as far away as possible, had not said a single word to her.
‘Will you talk to her?’ I asked
‘Maybe.’ He said and got out of the car so I followed.