Trena's pov
I had been had a fear of smile since childhood. Whenever I was too much happy, the thought of its conclusion makes me feel afraid that I'll be in pain again soon. E.g. when I was five years old, I laugh too much with my uncle Lewis. We went shopping together, he bought me my favorite chocolate Twix bar and a teddy bear. Then he took me home and left. I was so happy that day but within a few hours, we have got the worst news of his death. Since then all I know was shedding tears.
Then when I was nine years old, my aunt Lewis told me the whole history of my family as I insisted. At that time, I found another reason for crying. Whenever I remember my family, I always blame myself for their deaths. Because the year I was born, my mom died. Next year, when I was two years old, every one of my family including my brother Travis's mate who's not even my family member back then died. Every year since I was born, people close to me had faced problems. I always thought of myself as a jinx for everyone. Travis who's the only one that survived does not even smile when he's with me. I guess I know the reason, it's because whenever he saw me he reminds me of his mate. I hated myself for not being able to receive love from my own family. I can't laugh and can't talk freely with others for none wants to become my friend. For this, I always have been alone and mute as well. I think I was an introvert. So that the bullies didn't let this chance in vain. They started torturing me as they want when they noticed I'm all alone. I was back then 10 years old. I'm a wolf being so my aunt always told me not to create trouble in the school because if humans get to know that I'm a wolf then they will kill me like before they did to my family members. It always bothers me all the time even though Aunt Ellia takes really good care of me like her own daughter and also asked me if there's any problem in school. But I couldn't tell her about my school.
Then one day, a boy comes with my brother to meet me. He comes to talk with me even though I yell at him at our first meeting. Then he starts to act so friendly with me and make me laugh with many of his lame jokes that no one have ever done before. I can freely talk with him. He always soothes me and told me not to blame myself for this. I always thought of him as a brother of mine.
But after a few months when I get to know my second gender. Suddenly I've got feelings for him the last time he meets me along with my brother. When I get to know about our mating system I've got an idea that I can make him mine by mating with him. His behavior makes me feel like he's mine whom I can rely on now and I want him to live with me in real life as my mate, not as my brother's friend. But an unnecessary thought come to me that was what about his mate? I went to Travis to ask about his mate. Travis told me that he's a beta, so he didn't have any mates. After heard this I felt like I'm on cloud nine. I want to express my feeling toward him at that time but I couldn't do it because my brother was always there with him and I was so young at that time that I can't bring up this type of thing. After that, I want to meet him alone, just him so desperately but he didn't come even for once after that time. I kept waiting for him from that time. Now it has already been 3 years waiting for him.
The day before he came, I was crying because now I have got the ability of smelling scent. So I have got feared that now everybody asked me to mate with the fated one. But I don't wanna. My aunt saw me crying. I think because of it she asked for help from Ilhan. Earlier when my aunt talks about me with him I listen to all their talk, I just felt so delighted that now I have got a chance to confess to him after a long time. If he didn't begin to question me, then how could I bring this topic after a long time? So this is my one and only chance to fulfill my wish of telling him about my true feeling. I can't just bring it to him so I have got an idea. I kissed him. This is my first kiss even though it's not with my destined mate but I'm thrilled with that. It feels like I'll die out of breath because I don't know how to do it. But he shoved me and asked for an explanation. I feel so hurt. But now I decided to express my feelings toward him.
I confessed my feelings to him, "You're the one whom I loved for three years."
He confusedly asked, "Wait, Whaa what?
I answered, "I love you."
He again asked me, "Don't you know I'm beta?"
I told him, "I know. You're a beta. You don't have any fated mate. I also don't care about mine, I just want to be with you. Can you also stay with me forever like me?"
He said, "Do you even know what you are saying now? I'm nothing but a doctor who just serves for the pack with my treatment and you're the only daughter of the chief of this pack who can inhabit and also an omega who has fated mate. How can you like me out of nowhere?"
I said to him, "I have no reason that I love you, this is a deep true feeling of mine. Why do I ever need a mate when I love someone else?"
He tensely asked, "Do you already tell this to anyone except me?"
I quietly answered, "No."
He told me, "Then don't tell this to anyone else. Ok"