Chapitre 16: Moving Too Fast

Zhong Bai had stayed the night.

And the following few nights after. He slept in one of the spare rooms, wanting to make sure Shao Lin was safe ever since Long Yat-sen and Xia intruded her home.

Shao Lin did not have the energy to explain to Zhong Bai that she did not need his protection. But she knew he'd only be insistent about it.

She still remembered Long Yat-sen's words that night: I won't hurt you. And she believed him, even if she had no reason to. There was no reason to trust Long Yat-sen, and yet the way he spoke to her so smooth and gently indicated his honesty. His tone had been harsh and cold when addressing Zhong Bai, but with her…

Shao Lin shook her head.

She had spent restless nights overanalyzing Long Yat-sen from that night, trying to make sense of him, his motivations. What triggered his reaction toward Zhong Bai was his investigation against his family.

Shao Lin understood. Long Yat-sen must have felt like his sister was threatened and took immediate action to protect her. The whole situation itself was complicated, confusing, and messy.

She did not know why she felt conflicted about picking a side.

Long Xiatian was part of a criminal organization. Long Yat-sen was the organization, which meant that not only was he a member. He ruled it. Zhong Bai, on the other hand…was a detective who only wanted to see them behind bars. But he also wanted to take down the entire organization, which seemed like an unattainable dream to Shao Lin.

Long Yat-sen was powerful man on his own, but he had the backup of six other organizations. He had his father, Long Jie, who by rumours was a cold-hearted, cunning and strategic man. If Long Yat-sen was anything like him, then Zhong Bai had a death wish.

Shao Lin had already dropped the case, heeding to Long Yat-sen's warning and she continued to work normally from morning to evening.

She spent more time with her gardeners at home, planting flowers with seeds imported from different countries, trying to expand her variety. In her free time, she was with Zhong Bai, spending quiet nights with him in the seating room. Before going to their separate rooms, he would press a kiss onto her lips lightly, but nothing more.

They were taking their relationship slow…

Shao Lin felt like giving them a try would mean that he'd have to regain her trust, and she was still unsure why he left her four years ago, right when she thought things were going well between them.

One evening, Shao Lin went to depart from work when she had this ominous feeling…as if she was being watched. Her heart sped up as she went into her car, taking a deep breath once she had got in.

When she arrived home, she found Zhong Bai in the dining room deep at work.

"Bai…" she said to him.

He nearly jumped from his seat. Startled, Zhong Bai put a folder over some papers. "Lin," he said quickly with a slight smile. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him.

"What were you doing?" Shao Lin questioned him. "You looked as if you are hiding something."

He glanced at his work. "Oh, it's nothing," he explained, shaking his head. "Just some cases and sensitive information. Nothing for you to worry about," he stood to kiss her cheek before stalking past her.

"You're not still looking into the Long family, are you?"

Zhong Bai paused. He turned, quirking his mouth into a smile that did not reach his eyes. "No, Lin. We're over that. Long Yat-sen made sure of it." He then stalked toward her again, grasping her arms, rubbing them. "Besides. I wouldn't want to worry you."

Shao Lin nodded. She then followed Zhong Bai to the kitchen to eat a late dinner together. Halfway into her rice and salmon filled poke bowl, she broke the silence and said, "Bai…I know that we have been so swept up with everything ever since Long Yat-sen threatened you...but I think we should talk now."

He looked up at her, his dark eyes meeting hers. He nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry, I haven't been considering how you felt lately."

Shao Lin smiled slightly. "I've always cared about you, and we are seeing each other now…to some extent, but I must know," she paused, chewing down her lower lip. "Where have you been the last few years? Why did you leave?"

He looked at her blankly, his face white, taking in a moment. His features then softened. "I received a job opportunity in Beijing. A gig of a lifetime," he said. "It meant that I had to leave everything behind here. And at the time, I was consumed by my career and future. I had always been one that got swept up in this field of work."

"But why didn't you tell me?" she pressed for answers. "Why not a single goodbye?"

He stared at her, his eyes deep and dark. "I knew that if I had seen you one last time, I wouldn't have gone. I would have looked at you and stayed. That's how much you have over me. I've loved you, Lin, for a long time now."

Shao Lin was not sure how to respond to his words. She believed him but she didn't understand it at all. She felt like if he loved her, he wouldn't have felt compelled to go, but then perhaps she was thinking selfishly…it wasn't like she could have asked him to stay. She would have encouraged him to go. But still, he said nothing and left her in the dust without another word for years.

Shao Lin didn't respond until Zhong Bai disrupted her thoughts. "I'm moving back here to Shanghai. I have already requested my things to be brought to my new apartment."

Shao Lin's eyes widened. "Why?"

He grabbed one of her hands in his interlocking their fingers. "I want to be closer to you, Lin. I want to give us a chance. I can transfer here."

Shao Lin pursed her lips. "Bai…don't you think we're moving a little too fast?"

Zhong Bai sucked in a deep breath. "We've been apart for so long…why is there a need to wait any longer?"

Shao Lin shifted uncomfortably. "You're right, but it hasn't been long since you've returned. There are things I need to sort out. Besides, we're still young. What is there to rush?"

Zhong Bai nodded, smiling tightly. "Of course, Lin. We'll take our time. Together."

Shao Lin gave him a small grin, and he withdrew his hand. Zhong Bai then picked up their dishes to wash, and he kissed Shao Lin's cheek before she decided to return to her room.

It had been three months, soon four, and Shao Lin's father was dead. Her mother was seeking recovery. She met Long Yat-sen, a man she despised but filled her thoughts. She was now dating Zhong Bai, and her mind was a confused, tangled mess. She felt like she never had a chance to breathe or to think things through. Everything happened too fast, too quickly for her to grasp or make sense of it all, and she felt like a lot of decisions were being made for her.

Sighing, Shao Lin went to wash up before going to bed. She collapsed over her blankets, and the last thing she saw before shutting her eyes was the pink plush Long Yat-sen gifted her.