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7.53% Garden of the Abyss / Chapter 39: Golden Mindscape

Chapitre 39: Golden Mindscape

"Damn old-young-hag, I'll get you back," Ren winced as he rubbed his rear that was hit directly by the door on his way out.

Waiting in the middle of the hallway was the one man he was looking for with his unmistakable fiery hair. However--something struck odd to him. Sora was wearing a black tank top with silken gray sweatpants. Normally, that would be just about the most normal-looking attire you would see--on Earth, that is.

"Oh, hey! How did the meeting go?"Sora called out to Ren.

"Forget that--you've still got normal clothes? Did you really keep them this entire time? I lost mine the day I got here," Ren pouted, poking the man's tank top.

"Urr, no. Beatrice made this for me. She's made clothes like this for everyone here, I'm sure she'll make you some as well as long as you don't end up on her shitlist," Sora laughed, patting Ren on the back, "Actually, speaking of that--you're going to love your room! Come on, man, I'll show ya' there!"

Ren nodded, driven by curiosity as he quickly followed behind the crimson-haired man. He was led up a spiral staircase that overlooked the entire lounge, each step somehow causing his stomach to constantly sink further down and tingle from the height. Atop the staircase was a hallway containing a plethora of rooms, each door uniquely designed.

At the end of said hall, Sora stopped in front of a plain wooden door.

"Ready to see the room you'll be living in from now on?"

"I am," Ren nodded his head fervently.

As Sora opened the bedroom door, presenting the room to him--his eyes widened as they took in the new sight before him. It was spacious, but not large enough to overwhelm him, giving him enough room to perform his daily routine without bumping into the furniture. Despite the era of the world, the simplistic wooden grey floorboards and walling gave the room an almost modern sense to it. His bed sat against the wall, with an entrancing view through the glistening window beside it.

"Beatrice prides herself on her architectural skills--she designs every Outlander's room specifically catering to their individual tastes. It's kind of creepy that she knows all of this, but I'm sure you're not complaining," Sora smiled as he leaned against the door.

"Ah...maybe that old hag isn't so bad after all," Ren let out a satisfied sigh.

"Don't...let her hear you say that. Like, ever," Sora nervously smiled, scratching his own cheek, "well I'll leave you to it then to get settled and uh...meet me later. We'll give your friend a proper sendoff, okay?"

Ren snapped out of his quiet celebration, his gaze softening into melancholy as he nodded his head. Somehow, he forgot the grief plaguing the back of his mind. Maybe it was his own way of trying to cope by ignoring the problem altogether.

--That's like me I guess. Running away from anything that requires a semblance of effort.

"Yeah. See you tonight," Ren responded quietly.

Luckily, his mind didn't remain on the topic of death for very long as he sank into the welcoming comfort of his new bed, falling into the world of dreams.

"What was it like? I mean, your world?"

He turned his blurred gaze to see the boy sitting next to him. Even sitting inside this sepia room, clouds of gold hugged the walls, spiraling around the room as a natural force.

"My world…?" Ren responded in confusion.

As his eyesight focused, he found himself back in his room at the Althaus manor. He instantly turned to confirm it--the boy sitting next to him was his one anchor to this lonely world.

"Meinhard…" He spoke quietly, feeling his eyes ache as he desperately tried to hold his tears back.

"Huh? What is it? Did I ask something bad?" Meinhard looked at him.

"No...no, you didn't." Ren smiled.

That's right. We spoke like this every night. I was such a gloomy, boring guy, yet--he stayed with as much as he could. It was rare for him to ask about Earth, I didn't mind if he did but...it was nice to know he talked to me just because I was...well, me.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Meinhard smiled, running his hand through his golden locks, "the same goes for that book that Althaus wants you to write...you don't have to do it. I get that maybe it's not something you want to think about."

That's right. I never told him. He didn't know a single thing about who I was on Earth. Part of me wanted to keep it that way--maybe I feared that he would think differently of me if he realized what a sorry life I led.

Suddenly, he felt an overpowering sense of dread crawl over his skin. Everything in his body told him to look at the bedroom door--sure enough, he was standing there. That wicked smile and deathly pale skin, with a trench coat that shrouded the man in an air of mystery.

"...Rouge…" Ren's voice came out in a whisper.

Ren tried to stand up, feeling his strength fade as he fell right back down against the bed. It felt like a million tiny needles were just under his skin, creating an almost static feeling throughout his body. All he could do was look at Meinhard as he desperately tried to warn his friend to run.

"...un…" Only fits of air left his lips.

--Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.

He couldn't close his eyes, forced to watch as the wicked entity inched closer and closer to the bed as blood began to seep through the walls. Soon, silver blades pierced the walls, ceiling, and floor--twisting and bending unnaturally.

"Ren…" Meinhard held his hand out to him.

Meinhard…! Rouge, please. Please, please, please, not again. I can't see this again.

Tears poured out of his aching eyes as he tried summoning any strength left in his body to meet Meinhard's extended hand.

Just as the tips of their fingers met--the endless blades conjured in every space left unfilled. All that filled his vision was crimson, feeling the warmth fade from his friend's fingertips as they became a hopeless cold.

That's right.

I'm powerless to stop anything. I'm powerless to protect those I care about. Nothing has changed since I came to this world, if anything--I've become weaker. Faced with these obstacles left and right...I've failed at every turn. Is it my "fate" to suffer in this world? Is my life meant to be entertainment for some bored gods hanging in the skies?


Chapitre 40: Farewell, Friend

His eyes shot open as he felt the entire world shake around him, looking up to see Sora shaking him by the shoulders.

"Sorry for the rude awakening, it's just--you weren't waking up any other way I tried," Sora moved his hands away.

"No...it's fine, thanks for waking me up," Ren slowly sat up on the edge of the bed.

He saw Sora staring intently at him, focusing on something that was clearly on his face. Raising his hand to feel whatever was there, he wiped the cold tears that had stained his cheek.

"Did you have a bad dream or something?"

"Something like that…"

The room fell silent, leaving Ren to his own thoughts before the red-haired man finally spoke up--

"It's, uh, it's time. For that. I didn't think you'd want the others around for this, so I didn't tell them," Sora scratched his head.

"Yeah, I guess we should get it done…" Ren nodded his head slightly before standing up, keeping his gaze low to the ground, "thanks, Sora. I appreciate this."

"Don't sweat it, man. All of us here have lost more than we could handle, but we always get through it--together," Sora bumped his fist against the boy's chest gently.

The nightly air outside was serene, somehow remaining quiet in the depths of such a vibrant valley full of creatures. Sora carried the body to a spot at the back end of the tree, a small opening within the colossal tower of nature containing a bed of flowers. The flowers were an array of beautiful colors, each one seemed to dance against the gentle breeze.

The man gently placed Meinhard's body down in the bed of flowers. It was a gruesome sight still, but he kept his gaze on his friend--not wanting to say goodbye. He watched as the flowers began to faintly glow, illuminating with an emerald shine as the wounds on the boy's lifeless body began to close.

"What's...going on?" Ren asked as his voice left in a tremble.

"We call them "Goodbye Flowers"--they heal the dead, and only the dead," Sora told him, "it's ironic, isn't it? So powerful and full of natural mana that they can restore even the most heinous wounds in seconds...but you have to have already succumbed to them."

"No...they're amazing," Ren smiled as tears once again traveled down his cheeks.

Once again, this one last time--he saw his friend without the scars of Rouge plaguing his sight, he could look at him without remembering the hellish fiend. The two remained silent as they listened to the sounds of nightly nature fill the vacant air, watching as the flowers embraced Meinhard.

"By sunrise, the tree will have brought him within itself. You know, there are stories about this tree. It is said to have stood for over a thousand years, watching over the valley with its old, wise eyes. They call it "Grandfather Gyma"," Sora spoke in a calm tone as he stood tall.

Ren felt somewhat perplexed as to why the man was speaking about trees during a time like this. All he wanted to do was grieve, but here he was--listening to a story about a tree. Looking over at Sora, he quickly realized the nature of the man's talking. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he looked up to the highest branches, trying to hide his emotion.

--He's a big softy, isn't he? Ren couldn't help but smile slightly as a flood of tears streamed from his eyes.

"I guess I should say something, huh…" Ren smiled slightly as he looked down.

He tried his best to stay quiet to avoid his voice cracking from the tears.

He flinched as Sora gave him a slight push on the back. Looking up--the man gave him a smile and a nod with eyes red from tears. In this moment of melancholy, he found a bit of humor in the fact that Sora was somehow crying harder than him for somebody the man didn't even know.

He slowly stepped over in front of Meinhard, who looked as if he was just peacefully sleeping--somehow, the sight wasn't as sad as he thought. It was relieving to see him like that, with his messy golden locks wet from the light showers that pelted down against the overbearing leaves above.

"...You taught me how to read and write, tools which are invaluable...I'll...I'll never be able to repay you for that. The chance slipped away. However...that isn't the most valuable thing you gave me," Ren tried to maintain his trembling smile as he felt his throat close up.

At this point, his eyes were red and puffy from the seemingly never-ending stream of sorrowful water--but there was no point in trying to hide his emotion.

"I was alone and honestly, scared. I tried to act tough like I was prepared for this world...but I wasn't. Every night I wanted to cry for my parents, and sometimes I did. However...you were always there for me. You worked so hard--you were my complete opposite. Diligent while I was slothful.

Yet--you never complained, you always wanted to hear my stupid whining. I guess what I'm trying to say is--you were there for me when I had nobody else."

Looking upon the boy's pale voice devoid of life, he still prayed that by some miracle his eyes would open. Behind him, he could hear the muffled sniffling of Sora.

--You know...I think I get what might be making him this way. I thought maybe he was just extremely emotional--which I still believe he is...but he probably feels somewhat responsible for this, doesn't he?

"Sora," Ren said, turning back towards him.

"Yeah?' The man replied, wiping the snot away from his nose.

He was a sniveling mess, his face reddened from his prolonged tears, the bustling image of a hot-headed knight was brought down to this. Even so, Ren found it endearing.

"I'm glad you came to rescue me," Ren gave him a slight smile.

The tears finally stopped flowing from Sora's eyes--Ren assumed maybe he somehow dried out his tear ducts from his continuous sobbing. He stood there agape, just looking at Ren as if seeing a ghost.

"You know...I was just angry before. If it wasn't for you, I'd be...well, I'd be right where Meinhard is right now," Ren tried to lighten the mood, causing a stream of tears to escape his eyes as he smiled.

Before he could react, Sora picked him up--giving him a complete bearhug. Being this close to the man, he noticed a scent that resembled pinewood coming from him. His first instinct was to try and fervently reject the sudden embrace as it was in his NEET nature to deny skinship, but--it was just what he needed.

"Call me--"Bro"--you got that, tiny bro?" Sora said as his voice choked, squeezing Ren tighter into the embrace.

"Y-yeah, I got that So- I mean, bro," Ren shut one eye, still not used to the prospect of being this close to someone, "hey, can I have some time alone...with him?"

Sora set him back down and nodded his head before leaving back inside of the house. It seemed he left Ren a gift in the form of staining his tunic with tears and drool.

"That oaf," Ren smiled with a slight look of disgust as he inspected his tunic.

Now it was truly lonely, just the wind carrying the past howls of the night to fill his ears. He lost track of time as he stayed beside Meinhard, watching the pearlescent stars that presided alongside the heavens.

"In an odd way, it feels like I have to see you leave me all over again. It's stupid, I know. Laugh at me all you like from heaven, dork. It's just...after tonight, you'll really be gone. I won't ever be able to see you again--I'll just have to rely on the ol' memory, huh…" Ren let out a sigh through his pained smile.

--It seems maybe, just maybe--this might work out, Meinhard. Just promise me you'll always watch over me, okay? In return, I'll promise to always keep you in my heart. Always.

After expending his treasury of tears, enough to make his reddened eyes sensitive from the constant exposure to liquid, it was time to call it a night.

"It seems your affinity is water."

As soon as he walked through the front door, not expecting to meet anyone—he was greeted by the poorly timed, stoically delivered joke.

"That was pretty harsh, Donatien."

"Even for a four-eyed bastard like you, that was cold."

Tristan, Sora, and of course, the unlikely joker—Donatien were waiting for him inside the house.

"...I was merely attempting to lighten the mood, it seems I had a lapse in judgment."

The slender man adjusted his glasses as a soft pink filled in his pale cheeks. It was hard to stay in a state of sulking with this trio around.

"I know I said I didn't want to involve anyone else...but I just want you to know you aren't alone!" Sora assured him.

The man brought his large hand down on his shoulder, his palm easily fitting his shoulder in it.

"There he goes again…" Donatien clicked his tongue at the sight, "he's not wrong—for once. I want you to know you can count on us, Ren. We've all experienced the same feelings of confusion and distrust you have in this world—that pain is not yours to hold alone."

"You guys…" Ren had to battle the urge to unleash waterworks again.

The snowy-haired man stepped forward, looking directly at the young man as if preparing to part him with words of his own.

"So are we popping open that bottle of booze, or what?"

—Of course.

Being assured not being of age to drink meant nothing in this world--Ren indulged himself in the splendors of true alcohol, alongside the grown men who likely weren't setting the best example. The boisterous four men, in their drunken celebrations, somehow managed to wake none of the others present in the quiet house.

A stomach warm with booze, cheeks flushed over, Ren found himself clinging to his bed that night as if it was his long-lost lover. A night of that was supposed to be of mourning, turned into one devoid of worries--and one he wouldn't remember past that first sip of the strong, spicy amber potion.


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