Chapitre 32: "I can't be his weakness"

Glancing at the fine lady beside her, Amelia couldn't ignore the charming scent of citrus coming from Leticia. It made her want to close the gap between them, shut her eyes and just bask in her scent. But that would be weird for a duchess, so she shook her head to clear her thoughts.

Leticia wore a simple gown made of silk and satin. Her arms were bare, and her waist was cinched by an intricately brocaded corset that lifted a part of her bust and formed a wonderful cleavage. The lady was toned but not muscular-toned like her, just plain toned. As if fat was foreign to her body. She has the same eyes as the duke, bright, amber-colored paired with lush long lashes that slightly curled at the end. And Amelia noted the cute little dimple on her right cheek when she smiled.

The Duchess was a little jealous.

"Congratulations on your engagement, by the way." Leticia leaned over and whispered, making Amelia's face flushed. All of a sudden, her corset felt a little tighter. "Relax, I didn't tell anyone. Oh, and Alexander didn't tell me either. I just kind of—found out."

The duchess swallowed some air. She wanted to thank the lady but let the congratulations hang instead.

"Can we… move over there?" Amelia turned to where Leticia pointed.

It was a nearby balcony with beautifully decorated arches. The duchess thought it was perfect since she needed some fresh air to breathe. The hall's becoming a little suffocating. She hasn't told anyone about the engagement aside from those close to her, fearing that someone might spread it.

Leticia brushed off some minimal dirt on one of the benches and gestured for the duchess to take her seat. Looking at the center of the grand hall, where a dance began, Amelia took a small sip from the wine glass she brought with her.

"About Alexander," the lady started, "he seemed very fond of you."

"Uh, yes. It… it seems so."

"When Mother died, I practically raised him since Father was always busy. When he died too, I realized that there's only the two of us left—I suddenly felt… scared." Amelia's brow raised, listening to Leticia.

Why was she suddenly talking about their family? About her past? About her brother?

"I felt scared for myself, for my little brother, and for Thuenia. We were kids, and no one expects a kid to take responsibility for a duchy. I mean, why would someone follow orders from a kid, right? What could we do other than follow the orders of the Elders? But Alexander was different." Leticia chuckled and took a sip from her glass, "When Father died, and he was declared as the next duke, he made sure to exercise his newfound power. I thought he'd be bawling and clinging to me. But he didn't, and it hurt me a little."

"Oh…" was all Amelia could say. She didn't have much practice in dealing with personal matters, so she thought that the best she could do was listen earnestly rather than answer half-heartedly. "So, you left him?" she managed to ask later.

"I did. He's doing so well managing Father's funeral and ordering people around. So, I thought of ways I could help him too. Since I was young, I already thought that my presence as a ruling body wouldn't be appreciated as a lady. As a result, I told our father that I have no intention of ever inheriting the duchy. If I keep being questioned, my beloved little brother will surely come to my rescue. I can't be his weakness."

Though the hall was lively after the first dance finished, it's even more so the second time, but not between them.

Silence crept in, and all the two ladies did was watch the celebration inside and have some wine.

"I don't think Alexander would think of you as a bother," Amelia broke the silence, still looking at the ladies being asked to dance.

"I thought of that too," Leticia smiled with sad eyes, "But I wouldn't feel right about it. So, I left him. I left to go to places; learn the trade of the seas and build connections. I want to be his strength. I want to be the reason why my little brother could do what he wanted. I want to take away whatever's blocking his path. That's why I left him then. But now he hates me because he thinks I left him to run away from responsibilities and have fun."

"But you didn't. You left to help him."

"He doesn't think of it like that, but I don't blame him. I did leave."

"Have you told him about these thoughts? These feelings?"

Leticia looked at the duchess with a small smile, "He hates me. I can't even have a good talk without him glaring at me at some point."

"I… don't think he hates you, or he wouldn't come with you at all costs."

"Ah…" Leticia stretched her legs and leaned slightly back to look at the sky. "I don't think he hates me either, but he ignores me a lot, and that's even worse."

Amelia gazed at her then at the sky as well.

Everyone has their own worries. Even the confident-looking Leticia's weak against her brother. And Amelia would bet that Alexander was just as guarded about his feelings as his sister was.

"He hasn't had sex, you know. Since he made his proposal to you, I think. And it's a big deal because we're really good at it." Leticia teased and laughed at Amelia's reddened face.

A shiver crawled from her feet to the ends of her hair as she felt her cheeks warm up. The duchess chuckled lightly and patted her cheeks. A sudden mention of sex made her flustered because she hasn't really thought about it.

Sex.

When they're married, she'd have to submit to Alexander to seal their union. The first thing to do after marriage was to secure an heir; that's why people like them get married in the first place. But Alexander promised her that she could do anything that she wanted, though he did ask that their firstborn be named after House Clement.

Amelia's heart pounded. She believes Alexander wouldn't be so forceful. She's still young—they're both still young. There's plenty of time to produce an heir after everything has been resolved.

Yes, with Alexander's help, it would be faster for her to resolve things, and when it's done and over with, she could finally focus on being both a ruler and a wife. Everything would be behind her, and the shackles of the past dragging her would be gone.

The earlier it's resolved, the better for both of them.

But even Amelia thought it's too far-fetched. They haven't even talked about a solid plan to make the emperor give his blessings.

The duchess gulped. Her eyes darted inside the hall whilst taking a sip from her almost emptied wine glass.

"Do you still not remember anything from seven years ago? About the incident?"

"H-huh?" Amelia stuttered. Her eyes trembled for a second as she wondered why Leticia would suddenly ask her about what occurred seven years ago. "I don't think—no, my mind's still a little bit muddled."

"Mh-hmm…I see." The lady sounded, nodding, looking at the second dance about to come to an end. "It's getting cold. I shouldn't keep the duchess out here for too long with such light clothes."

"Ah, It's all right. I don't mind, Lady Le—"

"Leti."

Amelia smiled, "Leti… Uhm, thank you for telling me those things." Both ladies stood from their seats, and Leticia gulped the remaining wine in her glass. "Call me Lia, then." The duchess continued.

"Alright, Lia." Leticia looked back at her and slithered her arm around the duchess', "Since you're going to be my little sister, you'll have to get used to me being clingy like this."

The duchess smiled, and as soon as they re-entered the hall, it didn't take minutes before a gentleman came up to them and asked Leticia for a dance.

"It'd be a pity if I don't allow some men to dance with me," Leticia whispered with a playful expression, then she was off.

As for the duchess, she placed her empty glass of wine at the nearby table and looked around. Resuming the small talks, she had earlier with several delegates and people who came up to her.

After a few moments of rest, the musicians readied for the third dance, and ladies were being asked again left and right. Then Christa came towards her with a champagne glass in her hand.

"I have been looking for you," she said.

"Sorry, I was talking to Leti on the balcony."

"Leti? Who's Leti?" Christa asked, but before Amelia could answer, Marchioness Berdwell's daughter spoke again, "Anyway, if you have some time to spare, duchess, I have someone I'd like you to meet. He's the son of—" Christa wasn't able to finish what she was about to say when, out of the blue, Piers came up to them and asked the lady's hand for a dance.

For a moment, Christa thought that the second Mulford son was asking Amelia, so she distanced herself and appeared a little disheartened. But as soon as Piers moved closer to her and reached out his hand, her cheeks turned so red, she looked like she'd explode in a snap.

"Later, sister." Piers beamed at Amelia, and she waved at them to leave.

The duchess went ahead looking for her advisor or Arabella—or maybe Duke Mulford. As her eyes scanned the hall, someone came up to her and initiated a conversation. It was another small talk, but the conversation turned interesting once the other person said he knew the Beaumont's—Sybil's family. He also mentioned that he's one of the delegates from Toutis.

They talked about the mines in the kingdom and how they dealt with drought. How the crops were able to grow in such harsh conditions. And as the conversation went deeper, Amelia found herself enjoying again, until someone cleared their throat behind her, forcing the duchess to look back.

"May I have this dance, duchess?" It's Elias. She saw him earlier busy socializing and then going back and forth to check on security.

Amelia politely excused herself and grabbed the hand the eldest son of House Mulford offered.

As tall as Alexander—probably a tad bit taller—Elias had always been a massive support to her when she was taken in by Vernon. The other two brothers were fun to be with, but Elias was extra patient and careful. Before, she thought it might have something to do with her House and her status. But despite being the patient and kind older brother, he's also very strict and, at times, a little overprotective. He scolded her a few times, especially when Piers used to bring her along on his pranks. Elias would bring them to the duke's study and make to read twenty pages of history or geography books.

While they were having tea at the pastry shop, she overheard a group of young ladies talking about Elias' marriage interviews. They said that there were a few, but none was to his liking, so he declined them all. If it was any other family, being the heir, they'd have forced him to take a bride. Though the duke's not that kind of a father, either. He must've allowed his son the liberty to choose, but he also probably gave Elias an ultimatum at what age he could only freely decide who to marry.

"I'm glad to see that you recovered well," Elias smiled at the duchess.

"Yes. Me too, Brother Elias."

"How are you enjoying yourself so far?"

"It's been a while since I've been in this kind of celebration, so it's… refreshing. I've mostly only attended celebrations in my own duchy, and you know how those celebrations could be." She paused to let out a giggle before continuing, "I haven't exchanged ideas with other people in a while, so hearing stories from ones that came from other places was fulfilling. I learned so much tonight." Amelia's eyes sparkled as they moved around the hall.

"Well, you do love learning." Elias chuckled, and the duchess smiled shyly.

"Oh, while I was at DIrmond, I heard that you turned down a mountain of marriage interviews. Someone's picky."

The heir of House Mulford let out a short jovial laugh. He leaned forward and whispered something to the duchess, which made her jaw drop.

"No! She's too extreme for you and too beautiful. I mean, we talked just a while ago, and I loved her, but you're like a needle in a haystack. I'm serious, brother. Leti probably has a million suitors out there."

"It's just a little infatuation, plus she already rejected me—twice." Amelia couldn't help but laugh at the revelation. "A man's gotta dream big, right?"

"What I'd pay to see you get rejected," Amelia teased, her smile reaching ear to ear.

Elias is good-looking. Women swoon at the sight of him. Not only with his looks, but he's also very charming and polite. Every father would want to have him as a son-in-law; no questions asked. But he sure has a peculiar taste in women. He once pursued a lady who was engaged and almost caused the lady to run away with him. When the duke found out, he was punished and sent to one of Aclador's harshest training camps situated in one of the forests at the northern mountain. That's why he wasn't present when Amelia went back to her duchy.

Amelia giggled, shaking her head. The duke's son laughed too, and both spun and twirled and circled around the hall. Elias kept on throwing clichéd jokes that Amelia couldn't stop giggling about.

"Hate to break the fun, but I'd like to have this dance, please." Amelia and Elias stopped when Ayland suddenly came up to them.

The duchess gave Elias a curtsy, and the House Mulford heir bowed low, then left the center of the hall.

Looking at each other, the youngest prince and Amelia smiled and bowed at each other before Ayland held his hand out, and the duchess walked towards him.

The music started, and Amelia once again traversed across the hall.

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm being used as a scapegoat?" Amelia teased when he noted Ayland frequently scanning the hall.

"Well… With good looks such as I have, parties are a bit of a challenge. I can't help it if they find me attractive. This face is more of a curse than a blessing. Really." The prince grinned, and they danced for a while.

After some time, the rhythm of the music changed to a slightly faster one. A little bit tired, Ayland guided the duchess to the part of the hall where refreshments were laid out on the table. Amelia grabbed a glass of champagne, and before she was finished, Osmund came.

"Sister," he plainly said and held out his hand.

The last time the duchess saw Osmund was when he visited her at her palace a day later than his brothers. He was studying in a foreign kingdom and hurriedly came home when he heard the news of her poisoning.

"Aren't you tired, sister?" the youngest son asked as they danced to the slightly slow rhythm of the music.

"Since it's our little Osi asking, how could I say no?" Amelia's tone sounded more refreshed than her somewhat hurt feet.

"I'm not little Osi anymore," the youngest Mulford son looked at the duchess with a determined demeanor. Though Amelia admitted that he has grown a tad taller than her and looked not far from his older brothers, Osmund would always be the little boy who always wanted to follow the duchess and Piers around then complain about it being tiresome.

"I think it's my turn now," Amelia raised her brow and looked back. Even Osmund giggled, and he rarely does that.

"Arabella…"

"What? There's no rule that says only men and women could dance," Osmund stared with his judging eyes, saying that it wasn't long since Amelia and he started dancing, but the lady assassin wasn't one to back down. For seconds, the two stared down at each other before the youngest Mulford son admitted defeat.

As the music picked up the pace again, Amelia and her lady assassin danced away. And while they were enjoying themselves, there was one trying to get out of a situation that most men would love to be in.

"You should really rethink your security with Ancel." Arabella pointed at his brother with her eyes. When Amelia looked to where her lady-in-waiting was staring, she saw Ancel being surrounded by girls that he was backed on the wall.

He smiled awkwardly and kept his hands in front of him and shaking his head.

"I think you should get your brother out of there," the duchess suggested, but Ancel's sister looked the other way and continued dancing.

"Oh, let him be. He's nothing special, yet everyone's so enchanted by him." Arabella pouted, "We shouldn't be getting too much attention for ourselves. I mean, the more people who knew him—who knew our face well—would only make it difficult for us to conduct missions. It won't be too long until we start wearing masks like some petty, fictional thief."

The duchess nodded understandingly. Arabella has a point, but Ancel couldn't be blamed for his good looks either.

When the dance ended, Amelia made her way to where her personal knight was cornered. Clearing her throat, the ladies surrounding Ancel were surprised to see her. They bowed their heads and greeted her in unison.

"I don't see Mr. Vance anywhere, Ancel. I want to dance with him for the next song." Amelia looked straight at her knight, and Ancel scurried through the ladies blocking his way.

He bowed his head a little and said, "I'll find him for you, duchess." He looked relieved and thankful.

"We'll take our leave too, Duchess Florence. It was nice to see you," the young ladies said with a disappointed tone. Amelia nodded at them, and then they were off, whispering at one another.

Amelia and her lady-in-waiting rested a little after the dance. Then almost halfway through the fourth dance, Amelia caught a glimpse of her advisor coming her way.

"Are you feeling alright? Does it hurt anywhere?" the advisor worriedly asked, reaching both his hands.

"My feet are a little sore, but I have to get used to it sooner than later," Amelia smiled and proceeded to ask Vance for a dance.

Worried, the advisor initially declined the duchess' request, but seeing her pout made him no other choice but to agree.

"Only for a short time, understand? And tell me when you're hurting." Amelia's face suddenly brightened as she straightened her back and held out her hand for the advisor to guide her back to the center of the hall.

When was the last time she danced with her advisor? Since she hasn't personally held even a single ball at her palace, even for her birthday, the last time she probably danced with him was during her birthday celebration, a few hours before the incident happened, seven years ago.

Gazing at the strands of gray hair on his head, Amelia smiled softly at Mr. Vance as they continued to dance. The advisor told her something about being a little taller and slimmer than he last noticed. Amelia answered, saying that it must've been because she's been diligently training every day.

Their conversation continued further, and Amelia listened earnestly to Mr. Vance's stories of when she was younger. Her face reddened at the embarrassing ones, and she laughed at the moments that she deemed impossible to happen to her.

After a while, the music transitioned to an even slower one. And just a second after the duchess' advisor suggested that they stop and take a rest, Amelia felt her cheeks heated when a familiar voice rose from behind her.

Amelia swallowed discreetly and dared not to look back as her advisor vaguely showed a displeased expression.

"May I have this dance?" the man repeated, and Amelia noted some stunned faces at a distance. Some even started whispering to one another. And just when she thought that Vance would advise her otherwise or would tell the person behind her that she wasn't feeling well, the old advisor took a step back and bowed his head. He gave Amelia a quick glance as if telling her that it's all right and to be careful, then he was gone.

With Vance away, everything seemed to stop again as Amelia's eyes followed every movement the man, she's been hoping to hear from for months made. They both gazed at each other, and the duchess couldn't help but succumb to her racing heart as she curtsied low with a visibly flushed face.

As if touching hands weren't enough to make Amelia nervous, her breathing hitched even more when she felt Alexander's hand slid from her upper back to the arch just a little above her hips as they made little swaying motions to the rhythm of the music.

"It's been a while, my duchess," Alexander leaned closer and whispered. His scent enveloped Amelia, and she inhaled sharply. Her eyes narrowed at the bright amber eyes that always seemed to gaze at her, full of emotions.

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