18Critiques
4.89
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
- Contexte du monde
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I would like for you to do option 3 because that sounds likes it would be very interesting and we can also see how she masters her powers and constraints them for when she steps outs of the dimensional rift
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Author first Idea was to make an Date a Live novel, however the power lvl of the MC was to low. Now he is trying to make an Duolou Dalu novel. Honestly, a lot moee difficult, specially since the MC is in Spirit Hall side, so he would have to create lots of things, or get ideas from some other fics. Good potential, but Author would have to reread the Original a lot, and also take lots of care for plotholes. If he manages it, them I am certain it would be a good novel. Also, dont put her at Shrek, it simply doesnt fit, even though it would make writing a lot easier. Yuri is also a great bonus
Promising start so far, and i like the ideo of being born into the spirit hall it definitely gets painted in a bad light in the series by a biased tang san, you could stand to use a little more punctuation but other than that cant wait for more and cant wait to see how far she goes.
Author, I really love your works, but please can you be more consistent with chapters. It gets really annoying when all the chapters are short chapters or side chapters or something. Other than that, I love it. Keep up the good work.
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more chapter. **************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp ,
more chapter please. **********************************************************************************************************************************************************
exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx .
Author you can put at the beginning an information chapter, where you put their powers, their haren interests (we know that you will put Kurumi, another may be Miku, since she also likes women and seeing that the protagonist only accepts strong characters, that It would be to say that all the girls in his haren would be the spirits, since they are all women xD). -Just that suggestion so that when someone enters, they can see what they are getting into, and you can also put the girls who will be more the photo of her.
good chapters. *******************************************************************************************************************************************************************
could be better, but 10/10 out of all the killing bites FF which aren't alot but this is still better than all the others i have read.
The idea is interesting, just try not to move too fast on the plot, just my opinion.
Shameless author review boys and girls Anyway I hope you enjoy this in this one I’m more likely to do some lesser known anime and manga or ones that you don’t see in webnovel often anyway have fun and enjoy the read.
YURI IS LOVE. YURI IS LIFE. P.S Is it okay for you to make another story? you have 3 stories to handle now, don't push yourself too hard :).
Good........................................................Good........................................................Good........................................................Good........................................................Good........................................................
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I would like for you to do option 3 because that sounds likes it would be very interesting and we can also see how she masters her powers and constraints them for when she steps outs of the dimensional rift
.............................................................................................................................................
Author first Idea was to make an Date a Live novel, however the power lvl of the MC was to low. Now he is trying to make an Duolou Dalu novel. Honestly, a lot moee difficult, specially since the MC is in Spirit Hall side, so he would have to create lots of things, or get ideas from some other fics. Good potential, but Author would have to reread the Original a lot, and also take lots of care for plotholes. If he manages it, them I am certain it would be a good novel. Also, dont put her at Shrek, it simply doesnt fit, even though it would make writing a lot easier. Yuri is also a great bonus
Promising start so far, and i like the ideo of being born into the spirit hall it definitely gets painted in a bad light in the series by a biased tang san, you could stand to use a little more punctuation but other than that cant wait for more and cant wait to see how far she goes.
Author, I really love your works, but please can you be more consistent with chapters. It gets really annoying when all the chapters are short chapters or side chapters or something. Other than that, I love it. Keep up the good work.
............................................................................................................................................
more chapter. **************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp , exp ,
more chapter please. **********************************************************************************************************************************************************
exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx . exp , exp , exp , epx .
Author you can put at the beginning an information chapter, where you put their powers, their haren interests (we know that you will put Kurumi, another may be Miku, since she also likes women and seeing that the protagonist only accepts strong characters, that It would be to say that all the girls in his haren would be the spirits, since they are all women xD). -Just that suggestion so that when someone enters, they can see what they are getting into, and you can also put the girls who will be more the photo of her.
good chapters. *******************************************************************************************************************************************************************
could be better, but 10/10 out of all the killing bites FF which aren't alot but this is still better than all the others i have read.
The idea is interesting, just try not to move too fast on the plot, just my opinion.
Shameless author review boys and girls Anyway I hope you enjoy this in this one I’m more likely to do some lesser known anime and manga or ones that you don’t see in webnovel often anyway have fun and enjoy the read.
YURI IS LOVE. YURI IS LIFE. P.S Is it okay for you to make another story? you have 3 stories to handle now, don't push yourself too hard :).
Good........................................................Good........................................................Good........................................................Good........................................................Good........................................................