14Critiques
3.94
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
- Contexte du monde
Partagez vos pensées avec les autres
Écrire un avis
I have read all the way up to chap 36 so far. I am having a hard time finishing the book. The morgiana girl seems to be shaping up to be the love interest so far. It does seem way too early to commit to someone unless the character will grow later and be with someone else but I doubt it with the way the author is writing him up. For a thirty year old person he does act like a kid (even the excuse of staying in character is a little bit exxagerated). One of the main reason people read reincarnation/rebirth novels is to have an MC that acts maturely and does not get flustered when he see a beautiful woman everytime...like seriously there was Victoria's Secret models on earth, why is he getting shocked all the time. As for character design it is very vague, I don't know if the author doesn't know how to write character description or just women's description. But they are all beautiful and the only thing I know is their beauty ranking. Honestly if you have a hard time writing description, as the MC is from earth you can use famous people to describe them to help us picture them. Another weird thing, that huang jin or yin guy asked morgiana to be his concubine but his wife refused to give herself to another man (why the double standard? Is the wife ok for him taking multiple women ...is a woman recognized as the top beauty in a city, a genius cultivator OK with sharing her man? Unless there is some type of abuse going on either mental or physical I really don't see something like that going on. Even more in a world where power is everything, no matter how much power the man is, the more established a woman is the less she can compromise. There is a reason why rich men statistically don't marry rich, powerful, independent women. There is usually a disconnect. "power couples" is usually in the realm of fantasy, there is always a give and take in relationship even in so called power couple in real life. I will try to read more chapters and update later my review if I see some improvements as usually people get better as they write. It seems it is not a harem novel from an author comment I read. Which is pretty good. But just because it is not harem story doesn't mean author you should scare away from exploring relationship and growth. People change, and someone you liked at 15 may not be the right person at 40 or 30 when you know yourself more or just life happens. I mean the high divorce rate nowadays that divorce is no longer taboo is a good proof of that. So far the most fun and interesting love interest I have in asian novels here is the one from Swallowed star where the girl was obese and the MC still fell in love with her ( yes she lost weight but that was after the MC reciprocated her feelings).
Hi, your book is really good, but I noticed some errors, if you're in need of a proofreader, I can do it for free. I like how you sometimes make a serious situation seem funny, keep up the good work ✍🏻👌🏻
Unique story, however, early romance ruins it. Doesn't even have the romance tag. Also don't like childish mcs, when they're actually adults.
This is a weird book, true to its name. It's like the expression diamond in the rough, except the person describing the diamond can only see each plane of it independently from the others in a house of mirrors and doesn't know what a diamond is. Confused? Now you're getting somewhere.
Everything is good in this novel except the the mc, he is your typical cultivator mc that might be brain dead.
Love the story so far, thanks.[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
it's very boring, the novel doesn't interest me at all, ms is the behavior of a backward person, not a murderer, how else can you change names to European in Chinese fantasy
INTERESTING AND UNIQUE! Though it's my first time reading a cultivator novel, I enjoyed it as I read the chapters. The plot is intriguing and the writing is easy to read. I also loved the idea, writing, character design and environment description in the novel. The synopsis is well written - short and to the point. The story is little slowly paced for me. The cover can also be made a little interesting. Apart from these, I loved everything about the novel. Keep Going!!
Reincarnation, cultivation, adventure... all are my favourite tags! Also, the first few chapters looked very promising and I didn't find any error. Hope to read more. Good luck, author!
There are lots of grammatical errors but the book is still readable so that's okay. The story is great, makes you wonder what will happen in the next chapter. Good work!
Good novel with a good background, And clearly explained in detail which won't give headache to readers. But it would be better if it is updated frequently.
Okay I'll really honest, I'm not the the type of reader that likes reading Chinese names because they're gonna be very forgettable to me, so I'm sorry if I offended you. But, even if the names are Chinese I can say that it's really cool 😎, I can say that I'll give this an exception and add it to my library to continue reading it.
I must confess that I'm not particularly knowledgeable about Eastern Fantasy mechanics, but I suppose I'm slowly getting the gist of them. Regardless, it seems you have quite a good iteration of the genre here from what's available of your story! Here are my notes: ~There are some immediate mechanical errors, but they don't really affect comprehension. Mainly, some punctuation (like in dialogue tags and run-on sentences) and verb tenses are off, and the characters' inner thoughts kind of switch the POV as they're not separated by quotation marks or another kind of punctuation. The latter issue is probably the most jarring. Some sentences are cut off in the middle by periods as well. ~The descriptions and similes are on-point! They elevate some of the exposition scenes lots! The style is nestled between being simple and more complicated, and I really enjoy that as well. ~I started reading this extremely late at night and forgot to comment much, but I also like the bits of humor interjected by the MC. He's a surprisingly wise person with a fixed set of principles that dictate his actions. I never found myself irritated with him, and his train of thought generally made sense. ~This might be a genre thing, but it does feel like a lot of information is dropped close together and described in a very mechanical way without a lot of flow/emotion. Conversely, this is all explained quite well and isn't confusing to the reader, so I suppose it just needs balance. There's a lot of world-building done, and the mechanics feel solid as a whole with the whole flower cultivation concept being rather interesting. (In fact, I'm tempted to say this is one of the more intricate worlds I've read about on this site so far.) ~As such, the pace lags quite a bit at times, especially when there's the issue in the bar. A bunch of information is dropped here and dissipates the tension from the cliffhanger in the previous chapter. (The mechanic itself that's used--of having the characters explain the world to someone else/a child--is, however, a good one! I love Huang Yin's reactions.) Another time the story is noticeably slow is when Chin Sha is described, and Morgiana's dialogue basically summarizes everything said in the descriptions in a more dynamic way. ~However, since it is extremely early in the story, this isn't as big of an issue as if, say, I read through 100 chapters and had the same impression. You're taking time to build the characters and settings, so it does work! ~On that topic, Morgiana is super cool! She falls and keeps on standing up for herself! (She upset me for a moment when she challenged Chin Sha, but I quickly understood where she was coming from.) ~All the characters have complex motivations, and I like reading about them in detail. A lot of them seem two-faced in a sense, so I think that's interesting for the conflict. ~Be wary of pronouns. When in doubt, it's best just to use someone's name to not cause confusion as sometimes, during the transitions between chapters, you don't specify that it's Xu An's thoughts. This would be fine in 3rd POV limited, but this is omniscient. ~I love the showdown in the pub! I can feel the urgency and emotions of the characters during this moment, especially when Xu An prevents Morgiana from being punched. ~I also think the somewhat spotty memories are interesting, and they really play into how Xu An acts. The parallels between his lives are cool! Overall, this story has a lot more insightful bits than I would have expected, and I think you've got a lot of creativity and good word choices in your writing style. It has an interesting premise and characters as well! Good luck with writing this novel!! 😄 (4.6/5.0)
Spoiler de révélation I have read all the way up to chap 36 so far. I am having a hard time finishing the book. The morgiana girl seems to be shaping up to be the love interest so far. It does seem way too early to commit to someone unless the character will grow later and be with someone else but I doubt it with the way the author is writing him up. For a thirty year old person he does act like a kid (even the excuse of staying in character is a little bit exxagerated). One of the main reason people read reincarnation/rebirth novels is to have an MC that acts maturely and does not get flustered when he see a beautiful woman everytime...like seriously there was Victoria's Secret models on earth, why is he getting shocked all the time. As for character design it is very vague, I don't know if the author doesn't know how to write character description or just women's description. But they are all beautiful and the only thing I know is their beauty ranking. Honestly if you have a hard time writing description, as the MC is from earth you can use famous people to describe them to help us picture them. Another weird thing, that huang jin or yin guy asked morgiana to be his concubine but his wife refused to give herself to another man (why the double standard? Is the wife ok for him taking multiple women ...is a woman recognized as the top beauty in a city, a genius cultivator OK with sharing her man? Unless there is some type of abuse going on either mental or physical I really don't see something like that going on. Even more in a world where power is everything, no matter how much power the man is, the more established a woman is the less she can compromise. There is a reason why rich men statistically don't marry rich, powerful, independent women. There is usually a disconnect. "power couples" is usually in the realm of fantasy, there is always a give and take in relationship even in so called power couple in real life. I will try to read more chapters and update later my review if I see some improvements as usually people get better as they write. It seems it is not a harem novel from an author comment I read. Which is pretty good. But just because it is not harem story doesn't mean author you should scare away from exploring relationship and growth. People change, and someone you liked at 15 may not be the right person at 40 or 30 when you know yourself more or just life happens. I mean the high divorce rate nowadays that divorce is no longer taboo is a good proof of that. So far the most fun and interesting love interest I have in asian novels here is the one from Swallowed star where the girl was obese and the MC still fell in love with her ( yes she lost weight but that was after the MC reciprocated her feelings).
Hi, your book is really good, but I noticed some errors, if you're in need of a proofreader, I can do it for free. I like how you sometimes make a serious situation seem funny, keep up the good work ✍🏻👌🏻
Unique story, however, early romance ruins it. Doesn't even have the romance tag. Also don't like childish mcs, when they're actually adults.
This is a weird book, true to its name. It's like the expression diamond in the rough, except the person describing the diamond can only see each plane of it independently from the others in a house of mirrors and doesn't know what a diamond is. Confused? Now you're getting somewhere.
Everything is good in this novel except the the mc, he is your typical cultivator mc that might be brain dead.
Love the story so far, thanks.[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
it's very boring, the novel doesn't interest me at all, ms is the behavior of a backward person, not a murderer, how else can you change names to European in Chinese fantasy
INTERESTING AND UNIQUE! Though it's my first time reading a cultivator novel, I enjoyed it as I read the chapters. The plot is intriguing and the writing is easy to read. I also loved the idea, writing, character design and environment description in the novel. The synopsis is well written - short and to the point. The story is little slowly paced for me. The cover can also be made a little interesting. Apart from these, I loved everything about the novel. Keep Going!!
Reincarnation, cultivation, adventure... all are my favourite tags! Also, the first few chapters looked very promising and I didn't find any error. Hope to read more. Good luck, author!
There are lots of grammatical errors but the book is still readable so that's okay. The story is great, makes you wonder what will happen in the next chapter. Good work!
Good novel with a good background, And clearly explained in detail which won't give headache to readers. But it would be better if it is updated frequently.
Okay I'll really honest, I'm not the the type of reader that likes reading Chinese names because they're gonna be very forgettable to me, so I'm sorry if I offended you. But, even if the names are Chinese I can say that it's really cool 😎, I can say that I'll give this an exception and add it to my library to continue reading it.
I must confess that I'm not particularly knowledgeable about Eastern Fantasy mechanics, but I suppose I'm slowly getting the gist of them. Regardless, it seems you have quite a good iteration of the genre here from what's available of your story! Here are my notes: ~There are some immediate mechanical errors, but they don't really affect comprehension. Mainly, some punctuation (like in dialogue tags and run-on sentences) and verb tenses are off, and the characters' inner thoughts kind of switch the POV as they're not separated by quotation marks or another kind of punctuation. The latter issue is probably the most jarring. Some sentences are cut off in the middle by periods as well. ~The descriptions and similes are on-point! They elevate some of the exposition scenes lots! The style is nestled between being simple and more complicated, and I really enjoy that as well. ~I started reading this extremely late at night and forgot to comment much, but I also like the bits of humor interjected by the MC. He's a surprisingly wise person with a fixed set of principles that dictate his actions. I never found myself irritated with him, and his train of thought generally made sense. ~This might be a genre thing, but it does feel like a lot of information is dropped close together and described in a very mechanical way without a lot of flow/emotion. Conversely, this is all explained quite well and isn't confusing to the reader, so I suppose it just needs balance. There's a lot of world-building done, and the mechanics feel solid as a whole with the whole flower cultivation concept being rather interesting. (In fact, I'm tempted to say this is one of the more intricate worlds I've read about on this site so far.) ~As such, the pace lags quite a bit at times, especially when there's the issue in the bar. A bunch of information is dropped here and dissipates the tension from the cliffhanger in the previous chapter. (The mechanic itself that's used--of having the characters explain the world to someone else/a child--is, however, a good one! I love Huang Yin's reactions.) Another time the story is noticeably slow is when Chin Sha is described, and Morgiana's dialogue basically summarizes everything said in the descriptions in a more dynamic way. ~However, since it is extremely early in the story, this isn't as big of an issue as if, say, I read through 100 chapters and had the same impression. You're taking time to build the characters and settings, so it does work! ~On that topic, Morgiana is super cool! She falls and keeps on standing up for herself! (She upset me for a moment when she challenged Chin Sha, but I quickly understood where she was coming from.) ~All the characters have complex motivations, and I like reading about them in detail. A lot of them seem two-faced in a sense, so I think that's interesting for the conflict. ~Be wary of pronouns. When in doubt, it's best just to use someone's name to not cause confusion as sometimes, during the transitions between chapters, you don't specify that it's Xu An's thoughts. This would be fine in 3rd POV limited, but this is omniscient. ~I love the showdown in the pub! I can feel the urgency and emotions of the characters during this moment, especially when Xu An prevents Morgiana from being punched. ~I also think the somewhat spotty memories are interesting, and they really play into how Xu An acts. The parallels between his lives are cool! Overall, this story has a lot more insightful bits than I would have expected, and I think you've got a lot of creativity and good word choices in your writing style. It has an interesting premise and characters as well! Good luck with writing this novel!! 😄 (4.6/5.0)
Spoiler de révélation