42Critiques
4.52
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
- Contexte du monde
Partagez vos pensées avec les autres
Écrire un avis
Good fanfiction aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You should’ve added more spacing between sentences or paragraohs to make it easier to read since it’s a lot harder when it8s all bunched together, but other than that it’s pretty good
Positives: quite possibly one of the best written things I’ve ever read (period.) the characters show wonderful development, the MC is properly gifted without breaking the story, the writing is grammatically correct and flows well, and the ideas behind it are creative. Literally my only complaint is that the authors updates are infrequent at best, which for this somewhat slow paced novel can be frustrating because I can’t help but want more. Keep it up, author!
This is good, good job author :D............................................................................................................................
the first chapter is interesting but after that it is the normal 0815 teenager mc. no mention of god or Crusader or whatever first impression you had with him. even the childhood get skipped to directly copy to canon. and it follows canon too the letter with minor deviations to account for our mc gary stu
Read the first 60 chapters. Really good story, sometimes you place too much from the original into the story, making it boring too read ( mainly in the 1st 20 chapters). Hope you don't drop this and don't try to milk the story too long. Keep up the great work!
Review after reading the first volume. Story is very slow paced with lots of character development and interaction. A lot of the inspiration is clearly taken from from the original series and official spin offs. However, it also all has some original flare to it and doesn't feel like I'm just reading about an episode I have already watched, most of the time. I've enjoyed the slow pace, but I am hopeful after reading that bloody chapter 1 of volume 2 that this one will be a lot faster paced since we are now very familiar with the characters around the MC. Though at the same time I hope we don't lose the enjoyable character interactions and deep themes and plots that we have all come to love. I don't want this to become a one dimensional fighting novel with an MC that only thinks with his fists and his lower half, after all.
You should def make a harem page and update it with every new entry And i swear to god keep yang, Ruby, Blake and pyra away from Jaune They have to go to mc
Solo tenía que emparejar a Pyrrha con Jaune... ¶~~~^~^~^^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~^~~~^~^~~^^~^~^~^~^~^~^^~^~^~^~^~~~~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^^~~^~^~~~~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~^~~^~~^~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~~^~
MoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[Review] I really like this fanfic it has good grammar, its set in a world that I like and it has consistent updates. If there was one thing that I had to say really irked me its that a lot of the time I find myself noticing that I'm basically just reading RWBY the show with an OC. What I mean by this is the FF can go chapters just being a transcript of RWBY straight from the show with the occasional insert of Ray. This makes me think "Why am I even reading this when I can just watch the show". Sometimes it feels like a situation, or conversation, should have gone different than the original material because of Rays presence but ends up being the exact same. This FF really shines when the author strays away from that and makes completely original chapters, these are great and a lot of fun to read I hope the author continues to stray more and more away from the original RWBY story and continues to transform the original material into something he can "kind of" call his own. All in all its a good read if you don't mind some spots being the exact same as the source material basically word for word. Then the original spots will really stand out and make this a good read.
This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!!
-Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10-
This author took way too much inspiration (read copy pasta) from the fanfiction "RWBY: Twins of the rose". 0 originality until now except the prologue...
This is one of the most fun fanfi s that i have had the plaesure of reading. You can tell from the first chapter that the book is sodcila and the author maintains that quality throughout.
Solo un par de cosas que decir en cuanto a que si bien se que es un fic el echo que pongas un grim con personalidad de joven maestro abofeteado le quita la esencia a la historia para empesar se supone que los grim no deven sentir dolor, miedo te lo consedo pero lo demas.... ya parece wuxia sin contar el echo de que se puso algo como susanoo que no se podria con el concepto de aura si fuera ki lo entenderia o algo como un domo de aura pero susanoo un poco mucho. Solo eso mi queja es porque empeso muy bien pero creo que se desbia demaciado para considerarlo fanfic a demas de lo lineal de la historia yo lo dejo pero creo que mi calificacion es justa.
grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p
Dis shit's a bomb !!! Just from the first chapter you can see and feel that the author really tried to give a substance and reason to his reincarnation. From the good dialogue from their encounter (Ray and God) to the deepest desire when he based his wishes from the 7 deadly sins. I'd give it 10/10 I just hope the author can keep up and improve as more chapters pile up.
one of the best RWBY fanfic--------------‐--------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I like how this goes, the MC is not an arrogant jerk, he is strong and smart. It maintains the balance between comedy and seriousness well, personally I just hope that in the future you do not get paid to read this ... I love the story and I would bother leaving it alone because I can not continue reading, I would not like you to abandon this either. keep up the good work, take care.
Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P
For now it's the best RWBY fan-fic I've ever read, keep up the good work author !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the fact that he takes into account the timeline of the original RWBY series and goes along with it without affecting the original plot by adding a new character
No matter what happen please make Pyrrha Nikos pair up with the MC cause i am sick at Jaune and her! also keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK!
Naice[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Amazing story... the most eloquent fanfiction I have ever read. an amazing twist on a common trope and a dive into a world we already know. Keep up author and get even better. This story is amazing already and I cant wait for more.
Nice to know that even on this cancerous platform, you can still find some mighty fine RWBY fanfics. I am honestly excited about what you have in store. P.S. Can we please pretend that Arkos isn't a thing and add Pyrrha to the harem? (¬_¬ )
Not good, not bad. It's just honestly boring because it basically the canon without the visualization of the amazing fights in the anime. First chapter was really cool, it captured my interest but that's it really. There's barely any changes except for the babysitter (MC) who acts like a mother to the main cast.
Good fanfiction aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You should’ve added more spacing between sentences or paragraohs to make it easier to read since it’s a lot harder when it8s all bunched together, but other than that it’s pretty good
Positives: quite possibly one of the best written things I’ve ever read (period.) the characters show wonderful development, the MC is properly gifted without breaking the story, the writing is grammatically correct and flows well, and the ideas behind it are creative. Literally my only complaint is that the authors updates are infrequent at best, which for this somewhat slow paced novel can be frustrating because I can’t help but want more. Keep it up, author!
This is good, good job author :D............................................................................................................................
the first chapter is interesting but after that it is the normal 0815 teenager mc. no mention of god or Crusader or whatever first impression you had with him. even the childhood get skipped to directly copy to canon. and it follows canon too the letter with minor deviations to account for our mc gary stu
Read the first 60 chapters. Really good story, sometimes you place too much from the original into the story, making it boring too read ( mainly in the 1st 20 chapters). Hope you don't drop this and don't try to milk the story too long. Keep up the great work!
Review after reading the first volume. Story is very slow paced with lots of character development and interaction. A lot of the inspiration is clearly taken from from the original series and official spin offs. However, it also all has some original flare to it and doesn't feel like I'm just reading about an episode I have already watched, most of the time. I've enjoyed the slow pace, but I am hopeful after reading that bloody chapter 1 of volume 2 that this one will be a lot faster paced since we are now very familiar with the characters around the MC. Though at the same time I hope we don't lose the enjoyable character interactions and deep themes and plots that we have all come to love. I don't want this to become a one dimensional fighting novel with an MC that only thinks with his fists and his lower half, after all.
You should def make a harem page and update it with every new entry And i swear to god keep yang, Ruby, Blake and pyra away from Jaune They have to go to mc
Solo tenía que emparejar a Pyrrha con Jaune... ¶~~~^~^~^^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~^~~~^~^~~^^~^~^~^~^~^~^^~^~^~^~^~~~~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^^~~^~^~~~~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~^~~^~~^~^~~^~^~^~^~~^~~^~
MoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[Review] I really like this fanfic it has good grammar, its set in a world that I like and it has consistent updates. If there was one thing that I had to say really irked me its that a lot of the time I find myself noticing that I'm basically just reading RWBY the show with an OC. What I mean by this is the FF can go chapters just being a transcript of RWBY straight from the show with the occasional insert of Ray. This makes me think "Why am I even reading this when I can just watch the show". Sometimes it feels like a situation, or conversation, should have gone different than the original material because of Rays presence but ends up being the exact same. This FF really shines when the author strays away from that and makes completely original chapters, these are great and a lot of fun to read I hope the author continues to stray more and more away from the original RWBY story and continues to transform the original material into something he can "kind of" call his own. All in all its a good read if you don't mind some spots being the exact same as the source material basically word for word. Then the original spots will really stand out and make this a good read.
This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!! This is my dope. MORE!!!
-Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10--Facfic 10/10-
This author took way too much inspiration (read copy pasta) from the fanfiction "RWBY: Twins of the rose". 0 originality until now except the prologue...
This is one of the most fun fanfi s that i have had the plaesure of reading. You can tell from the first chapter that the book is sodcila and the author maintains that quality throughout.
Solo un par de cosas que decir en cuanto a que si bien se que es un fic el echo que pongas un grim con personalidad de joven maestro abofeteado le quita la esencia a la historia para empesar se supone que los grim no deven sentir dolor, miedo te lo consedo pero lo demas.... ya parece wuxia sin contar el echo de que se puso algo como susanoo que no se podria con el concepto de aura si fuera ki lo entenderia o algo como un domo de aura pero susanoo un poco mucho. Solo eso mi queja es porque empeso muy bien pero creo que se desbia demaciado para considerarlo fanfic a demas de lo lineal de la historia yo lo dejo pero creo que mi calificacion es justa.
grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p grinding reviews :p
Dis shit's a bomb !!! Just from the first chapter you can see and feel that the author really tried to give a substance and reason to his reincarnation. From the good dialogue from their encounter (Ray and God) to the deepest desire when he based his wishes from the 7 deadly sins. I'd give it 10/10 I just hope the author can keep up and improve as more chapters pile up.
one of the best RWBY fanfic--------------‐--------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I like how this goes, the MC is not an arrogant jerk, he is strong and smart. It maintains the balance between comedy and seriousness well, personally I just hope that in the future you do not get paid to read this ... I love the story and I would bother leaving it alone because I can not continue reading, I would not like you to abandon this either. keep up the good work, take care.
Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P Grinding Reviews :P
For now it's the best RWBY fan-fic I've ever read, keep up the good work author !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the fact that he takes into account the timeline of the original RWBY series and goes along with it without affecting the original plot by adding a new character
No matter what happen please make Pyrrha Nikos pair up with the MC cause i am sick at Jaune and her! also keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK! keep up the good WORK!
Naice[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Amazing story... the most eloquent fanfiction I have ever read. an amazing twist on a common trope and a dive into a world we already know. Keep up author and get even better. This story is amazing already and I cant wait for more.
Nice to know that even on this cancerous platform, you can still find some mighty fine RWBY fanfics. I am honestly excited about what you have in store. P.S. Can we please pretend that Arkos isn't a thing and add Pyrrha to the harem? (¬_¬ )
Not good, not bad. It's just honestly boring because it basically the canon without the visualization of the amazing fights in the anime. First chapter was really cool, it captured my interest but that's it really. There's barely any changes except for the babysitter (MC) who acts like a mother to the main cast.