Chapitre 17: Chapter 17
If Ian had thought I was a cold, uncaring person before, his mouth was going to fall flat open to the floor, and he was going to beg for mercy on his knees after the little artful revenge I had planned for him. He was going to think twice before tricking me, sweat thick with fear snaking on his forehead.
Theres something I still dont see, Linda said, chewing the red chubby-button shed shoved past her thin lips. If he said he wanted to make a truce with you because he was Buffys boyfriend, then, wasnt it obvious that he was doing it just for her?
Maybe it was, yeah, I mumbled with the last piece of chocolate in my mouth. Whereas Id engulfed my throat with three mushy bars while pouring out the anger boiling inside me, shed barely eaten one quarter of the small bag filling her handthe result of eating at a snails paceone by one. But thats not what bothers me, Linda. The fact he fooled me into believing that he did care about the stupid truce is! I believed him. I believed he was doing it out of some goodness Id considered impossible in himwith the lets be mature speech he gave me, I really thought it was true. I I freaking believed him! I threw my hands in the air. I mean, how did that happen? I know him. I know how crafty he is with the opposite gender and still fell on his goddamn trap. Me, of all people.
Ah, so its a matter of pride, she prompted with a smile. He saw you crying, too, so its a double stab to your ego.
No, yeah, I mean, no, its not my pride thats been hurt. Okay, maybe a bit, but I wouldnt admit it out loud. Okay, okay, the double-stabbing had hurt like hell. Shedding tears in front of him had massively killed my pride. Setting my feet on fire wouldnt hurt as much. Him spotting me crying had been like the meteor crashing against the earth and killing the dinosaursa massive extermination of my ego.
I paused and breathed out a big gulp of air. Its just that for a moment I thoughtI know its dead crazy. I cracked a humorless laugh. But I thought we could get along. When we were there, I had this nice glimpse of what we couldve had and, I dont know, I liked it. I looked down at my fingers, intertwined on my lap. I saw a person who mightve become a friend with timea friend for Christs sake. I added, awed by the stupidity of that idea.
You know, I still dont understand why you two dont get along. I mean, you have so many things in common, with the artsy thing going on, even that indie rock band you both like so muchand Ill bet you my Betty Boop ticker double or nothingshe raised her wrist to show the oversized watch crowding the spot below her handthat these arent the only things. Youre, like, on the same wavelength.
Yeah, well, all of that is reduced to ashes. I snorted, a tiny spike prickling my stomach. Okay, another confession. Id always thought Ian and I shared a lot of things in common, despite all the hatred and snapping business between us. Lindas heart-tearing betbecause I knew how important her silly watch, I mean ticker was for hershe had a thing for Betty Boop, who knows whywasnt necessary. She wanted to prove how sure she was of our compatibility as friends, and the problem was I didnt need such distressing means to acknowledge it. That glimpse at the stairs last night had just reinforced what was already lurking in the depths of my mind. I knew we were compatible. I knew it since the first day I stepped into school and saw him on that corner in the cafeteria, staring through the window at the gray sky as if it held all the answers in the world, musing. I knew he was an artist and that somehow, he used the sky as a way of inspiration, a bridge to his inner flyer, losing himself on the cottony clouds and bottomless bluea shade of hypnotic azure during the bright days, dulled to an ashen periwinkle before rain, and a shade of soul-stirring sapphire after twilight. I knew the skys identity well, just as he did, because we both mused on it, we both breathed that peaceful energy, feeding our creative juices to then smear them out on the tangible or sculpt them.
Something inside of me recognized him, as a sibling would recognize another, or as an ant would recognize the scent of a coworker with its long antennae. We artists could somehow sense that trail that led us to the same colony, though instead of pheromones, like ants used, it was an invisible thread that guided us to that recognitionand to that belonging. A belonging to a world where imagination and creativity fueled life. A world I had in common with Ian.
Had I felt compelled to close the distance between my table and his in that moment, to say hi and introduce myself? Well, yeah, hed been the onlystill was the onlyperson around me distilling that same arty vibe swirling inside me, and itd been, after all, my first day at school. I hadnt known anybody. So the logical thing wouldve been to approach him and discuss whether the sfumato technique was worth all the pain to create a smoother look, even if at that time Id promised myself I wouldnt expand my horizons and try to befriend people. But he had a pull and I couldnt ignore it. Neither could the girl who plastered her face against his a few seconds later, sucking him in a lip lock without caring about the audience in the room. I remembered how my cheeks had flushed warm, as if Id been the one who was kissing him that deeply, and I remember how Id wanted to slap my face for such a childish reaction and turn my face away.
I hadnt done any of that, though. I couldnt stop staring at him with a stream of disappointment coursing through me. He hadnt noticed, even if my stare had been unrelenting. Hed been too busy fisting his hand on the girls hair while his other one grabbed her butt. A very carnal-minded scene, which ended killing permanently my will to spark a chat. Guys like him, who didnt care about public exposure of that kindbecause, really, the only thing theyd needed was a bedhad only one thing in their mind: have fun, fun. I knew that type. It was, actually, over processed in my mind. They didnt look to have friends in the female department. They looked for ways to lure them into bed. And as days passed by, my theory got only more solid grounds. Every girl that approached him, that sneaked a side glance in his direction, that threw a mischievous smile at him, always ended up in his arms in one way or another to be discarded for a new one later.
The pull to be his friend was strong, but the disgust thatd built inside of me was stronger, which had only increased when he started dating Buffy. Maybe the ghost of that pull had reappeared for a few minutes last night, but it was buried deep down in the grave of my mind now, layers and layers of anger pressing it down.
Youre going to do it, then, Linda stated, watching my hard expression. Youre going to make him pay.
I nodded. I just dont know how Ill be able to pretend everything is still sunshine between us so I can mislead him and strike when he least expects it. Just the thought of seeing him again I curled my hands into tight fists.
She sighed with a shake of her head, and with that sigh, she told me everything she wanted to say but couldnt, because she knew I wouldnt listen. Once an idea flourished in my head, the roots couldnt be unearthed. They were there to stay, clawed into my brain. I could, in fact, be found on the last pages of any dictionary with the word stubborn to my left.
Linda produced her smart phone and started typing, her elbows anchored on her knees, and the top of her shoes closer to my crossed legs, I noticed. Was she that disgusted by the couch? Poor old fella.
And there I was again feeling sorry for inanimate objects.
Good, theres reception here. She smiled, her eyes glued to the small screen.
Its a storage room, Linda, not a jungle. I rolled my eyes. Who are you texting by the way? Your friend here is in great need of advice, you heartless traitor. Im desperate.
She chuckled. Im not texting anyone. Im checking out my email to see if I got any response from Iowa. You know how big it is for me to get into their creative writing program.
Oh, come on, are you serious? Your parents used to work there, you have it already.
No, I dont. She glanced up at me. And anyway, if you want to keep your emotions on a leash when youre in front of him, think of something nice he mightve donebecause there has to be something, even if its just one little thing. She lowered her eyes to the screen again. Thinking of nicer things wont work if hes not in them, so dont try that, she said, as if shed guessed my thoughts.
Ugh, I guess its the only thing I have. Itll be hard as hell, but I can make up those nice things if nothing comes my way. I have a pretty good imagination, after all.
The bell rang, the strident ring muted by the door as if we were under water in a submarine. Footsteps tapped a muddled rhythm outside.
Forget what I said. I'm pretty sure Bio is going to mess up my imaginary skills for the day. I stood up grudgingly. I'm doomed.
Wait, Linda prompted already on her feet, frowning at the smart phone on her hands. Theres something going on.
Of course there's something going on. Arent you listening? Were headed to Bio-hell. My head will be so scorched I
Dafne, she ignored me. Remember what you told me yesterday, about those three people who fell into coma out of the blue?
I stopped brushing the dust off of my jeans and narrowed my eyes at her. Her tone had edged on apprehension, close to the one shed used when telling me Peanuts belly had swollen, fearing her dogs heart disease had worsened. She only used that tone when something bad was coming, and I didnt like it. Yeah? I said, worry lacing my voice.
They say its getting worse. Its on MSN news. She told me as she read the information. The cases have increased, and they think it might be a virus, but its not a sure thing.
A virus?
She nodded stiffly. Too many hospitals have reported people in coma, a weird type of coma, and the facts are always the samepeople suddenly falling asleep while watching TV, or listening to their iPod, or reading a book, just out of nowhereat least thats how most witnesses saw it, though it became obvious they werent sleeping. Poor people, she added with a sad sigh.
Surely the amount of cases werent that high and Linda was blowing things out of proportion, like she always did when she got too worried or excited about something. Though excitement was out of the question right now. How many? I asked doubtful, worry sharpening my voice.
They still dont know the exact numbers, butshe paused and looked up at meIts its all over the country.
Cadeaux
-- Cadeau
reçu État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone