Chapitre 4: Irrational
WARNING FOR THE END SCENE: There is vomiting but I tried not to make it descriptive, but yeah keep that in mind!
****
When he read the notes Nedzu gave him on two of his students—and the rat-dog-thing made it very clear to consider them seriously—Shouta wasn't really sure what to make of them. Both students came from Kunugigaoka Junior High, one entering UA on recommendation and the other earning his way through the written and practical exam. Nothing out of the ordinary, in fact for both to come from Kunugigaoka was a feat of itself; that school had quite the reputation for being very difficult to get in and stay in, but its student success rate easily rivaled UA's. He's never met the Principal of the school, but from the notes he received from Nedzu, he was sure he never wanted to meet the man.
Everything seemed to check out—until the mention of assassination training, being in the so-called 'End Class', and something about a superhuman-octopus hybrid experiment being killed by the end of the year—by every student in the class.
Shouta pursed his lips at that, a hand raising to his chin while he narrowed his eyes.
What?
He read their profiles with suspicion and a bit of foreboding hanging in the air. Then it clicked, seeing the homeroom teacher's date of death. That was the day a section of Tokyo was covered by a strange orange force field. He, along with an armful of other Pro Heroes, were deployed around the area despite school still being in session, just to secure the area and making sure the public was safe, not to mention to investigate the entire case. There were soldiers around the entire school, including military deployed Pro Heroes. He remembered clicking his tongue in frustration; his and every other agency around were ordered to stay away and let the military handle it. If he wanted to keep his job, he had to listen. Then the news came out the next day about what had happened. If he had known an entire class of ninth graders had infiltrated said forest and effectively shut down the government-sent Pros and soldiers all by themselves, of course Shouta would have gone in at least to make sure they all left safely. The media never showed the assassin students' faces.
When he read further, he discovered Pro Heroes were assigned to teach the supposed 'Assassination Classroom,' including—and this is when he almost spat his coffee all over his desk—All Might himself, in addition to a Military-employed Hero by the name of 'Shotlock' Karasuma Tadaomi. An ex-assassin, new Pro Hero 'Enchantress' formerly known as 'The Widowmaker' Karasuma-Jelcavić Irina was their English Teacher. What an odd classroom setup…
Shouta lowered the paper, rubbing his irritated eyes. What an eyesore… Seriously, these are the headaches he has to deal with?
No doubt if these children were as close to their homeroom teacher 'Korosensei' as the papers say, then they were sure to be disturbed in some sense, unless they were thoroughly desensitized, which they seemed to have been to an extent. He'd have to see how far that relative numbness extended. If they did retain any sort of emotional disruption, then he'd have to talk to the school counselors about having a screening for them—not just for the class's safety but for their own as well. He's aware the government has offered counseling to the children, but whether or not they're actually taking them was another thing. He just needed to be sure; get on the same page as his students.
Sighing, the tired Pro put the files away to re-read later. This was something he'd have to look even deeper into. It was...unfortunate that it had to be All Might who was most involved in the children's lives here.
---
He'd been studying the children carefully since the last students filed into class.
The personalities the two chosen students displayed threw him for a loop for a moment—he hadn't expected timidity from them, and judging by how the boy slurred some words so frequently, it seemed the stutter that Midoriya had wasn't drawn from anxiety; it sounded almost systematic, something he couldn't control with mere emotions. Something fundamentally damaged. Which, he would bring up as a potential problem if sent out on the field, but from what Shouta's seen, the boy seems to get his thoughts across rather quickly and efficiently despite his struggles.
They had obvious respect and humility when following orders, which was good, but that was for basic commands, like for the exam. When it came to really crucial moments, he'd have to see later. They did defy government soldiers and Pros just to get to their teacher.
The blue one was perplexing enough. Shiota knew Shouta was watching him, and he often fidgeted with a sickly color on his face, as if he was guilty of something. Still, they both performed well in the assessment. They were both startlingly agile as well. Yet, considering their background, it didn't come as too much of a surprise.
What did come as a surprise was how far Midoriya was willing to go to prove his worth. It impressed the tired teacher, sure, but the action itself was concerning. Not only that, but how the boy reacted to Shouta's test of word choice was something that stirred his stomach the wrong way. How dark his expression grew, and the aura of malicious intent that encased him… Still, the boy had some sort of self control despite how his voice dripped with bloodlust.
After the boy earned his keep with the ball throw exercise and then sent to the nurse's office, his attention didn't have to be so torn anymore, and he could focus on his class as a whole again. He still had a job to do, even if these two problem children were eccentric enough.
With the combat evaluation, Shouta noted the students who needed more training than most. Ashido was on her back within a second of Bakugou coming at her with both fists. That was another thing too; some of his students were just...overwhelmingly aggressive. And by 'some,' he means Bakugou specifically. There was bloodlust in him too, but it wasn't out of hatred like he felt from Midoriya. It was more out of… what, joy? He seemed to revel in violence, judging by the wild grin the boy wore when he flipped the pink girl on her backside.
The students went down the line: Ojiro winning up Hagakure; Kirishima out-matching Kaminari; Yaoyorozu and Asui timed out with a tie; Todoroki had Sero pinned to the ground in no time (another child with unnatural bloodlust…). Seventeen minutes had come and gone and Shiota came forth to take his turn with his teacher.
"All you have to do-"
"Knock you off balance or make it past 2 minutes. Got it," Shiota nodded, meeting sharp blue with tired black eyes.
The boy assassin's hands both twitched, longing for something to hold. Maybe he wasn't fine turned to hand-to-hand combat without a weapon? Shouta gestured to begin, and the boy rushed forward, a dark expression in his eyes as he swung his leg up in a side-kick. Shouta countered it with his arm, reaching with his other hand to grab the boy's ankle, but Shiota withdrew his leg before he could.
The blue haired boy backed up, taking a defensive stance—Shouta noticed his right hand mime as if to hold something (a pretend-weapon) and the boy charged him again, his fist raised. He aimed cheap shots at the teacher, each move easily parried or thrown off balance. The boy was scrappy—his style felt like a copy or a knockoff. He could fight, Shouta could tell, but he felt more suited for quick shut-offs rather than prolonged battles.
He's seen enough.
Like the snap of a finger, Shouta had his student flipped onto his back with a hard thud followed by a painful moan.
"You don't have a style or technique. We'll work on that," the Underground Hero pulled the teen to his feet. "Dust yourself off, get back in line."
Breathlessly, the red-faced student nodded as he stood up and filed back into the crowd of his classmates. By then, Midoriya had returned with greetings of concern from his friends, inquiring of his injury, to which he shrugged and reassured them he was fine.
Attention snapped to their teacher.
---
Nagisa didn't feel at all confident with his performance. Not only was he slightly sleep deprived, but it was difficult going after an opponent who did nothing but counter and dodge. Nagisa wasn't that sort of fighter—he wasn't a fighter. He was… He was an assassin. Quick blows. Finish the job. Find an opening. Don't prolong the fight, just. Finish. The. Job. The boy sighed, lowering his head and shutting his eyes. He was finished, wasn't he?
When Izuku tapped on Nagisa's shoulder, the boy spooked with a gasp before turning his head quickly. "Izukun!" he whispered with a smile, but it was tinged with concern. "Is your finger okay?"
Izuku nodded with a thumbs up in reply. "R-Recovery Girl fixed me r-right up!"
The brunette beside him smiled at the freckled teen. "Glad to see you're feeling better!"
"Yes," Iida chimed in, pushing his glasses up. "It's unfortunate enough you had to go to the nurse on the first day as it is."
In response, Izuku merely chuckled awkwardly before Aizawa's voice grabbed everyone's attention. "Alright, it's time for your results." Aizawa explained the score system quickly (and without much care in his voice) and with a click of a button, the results were displayed through a hologram.
"Oh, and by the way, I lied about expelling one of you." Everyone tensed, but he continued, "It was a logical ruse to pull out your best performances."
Nagisa nearly collapsed while everyone else seemed to screech their throats out with their level of exasperation. Izuku's soul seemed to have left his body for a moment.
They didn't even place last in the class.
---
Shouta sighed after he dismissed the class and found All Might of all people to be hiding behind a wall, just watching his class.
"Don't you have anything better to do than to be stalking my class? All Might?"
"You liar!" the symbol of peace bellowed with frustration, hands on his side. "'A logical ruse' my back end! You expelled an entire class of first-graders last year!"
"And?"
"You have no hesitation when it comes to expelling those you judge to have 'zero chances,' yet you hesitate with your students now. Why is that?"
Aizawa stood still, hands in his pockets. Cold eyes shifted to the blond hero, eyes narrowing. "So you've read up on me, haven't you? You're not the only one who does his research. So tell me, All Might. What do you know about Shiota Nagisa and Midoriya Izuku?" All Might stood rigid, expression darkening with a spark of surprise. An uncomfortable silence fell on them, nearly suffocating the taller blond as the Underground Hero huffed and shook his head. "Quite a lot, judging by the way you just tensed up. If this school were to deny students as dangerous as them, where do you think they would end up, hm? After having done what they just did last semester? Would they end up dead? Or worse, villains?"
The raven turned his body to All Might, eyes narrowing.
"So I repeat my prior question, All Might. What do you know about those two boys?"
---
Nagisa didn't think he had dreaded anything more in his life than to stay after class and talk with his teacher, which wouldn't seem out of the ordinary, except he singled out him and Izuku, not to mention he knew, God, he knew..!
So when they were changing in the locker room, Nagisa sent a text to Karma and Rio, telling them they had to stay back for a bit. Strangely, Karma and Rio said they were going to be late as well, so it was agreed they'd meet up after school anyway.
Sliding the door to class 1-A felt heavier than it had that morning, and Izuku looked about ready to throw up. Nagisa wasn't the best at comfort, especially since he himself was so close to running all the way back home and facing the consequences later, but his better judgement made him step into the classroom against his will.
"Aizawa-sensei, you wanted to speak with us?" His voice felt fragile as he spoke, holding strong as best it could but he stopped when a nervous rock formed in his throat. He shut the door.
Aizawa sat on his desk with his hands interlocked. They were holding his head up before the two entered the room, only lifting himself up when the door slid open. "Yes, take a seat, both of you." They did as they were told. Aizawa caught Izuku's shining eyes before sighing. He didn't need someone crying on him so early in the year. "Relax, you're not in trouble. I just wanted to get on the same page as you both. I'm sure you know you both are a...special case in this school."
Nagisa felt numb—so he did know. But they...weren't in trouble? Confusion crashed his senses, squinting with a raised brow. Still, he and Izuku—who looked slightly less than pale than before—nodded.
"Good. Nedzu, the school Principal, was kind enough to chime me in on both of your—circumstances. You both are ahead of most of your classmates in terms of skill and precision, but you're still lacking in most other areas. We'll fix that in due time." He shuffled through some papers on his desk. "But that's not why I called you in here today. I'm aware you both are government protected individuals. Do you both understand what that fully means?"
A silence fell over the the two and they exchanged wide-eyed looks of concern before turning to their teacher, Izuku speaking up with his voice tiny and timid, as if not wanting to be outspoken, "I-I was, um, u-under the im- uh, I thought it was the- the government offering things like- like c-counseling and...not letting us… um…"
"So that if anyone tried to arrest us on accounts of assassinating Korosensei, they wouldn't be able to?" Nagisa finished for his friend, who didn't seem to mind, only wincing at the mention of their terrible deed. Aizawa nodded, closing his eyes.
"You're correct, but it also allows the government and other higher-up Heroes to document and keep tabs on you both. It's a precautionary since you, and your previous classmates, have been exposed to things you really never should have. It's indecency on the government's behalf, even allowing children your age to have a chance at committing what you did. It's inexcusable. Nevertheless, what happened has already passed." Aizawa's eyes opened with a new sort of emotion in them—resigned anger? At who? "At least they have the decency to offer therapy to you lot. Have either of you taken up the counseling provided to you?"
They were both hesitant to reply at first, but Izuku nodded before Nagisa. "I-I go to therapy once a- once a week a-anyway, for, uh, for unrelated, um… problems . The, um, government just started p-paying for them now."
Aizawa nodded at the freckled teen before turning to Nagisa quizzically. "And you?"
The blue haired boy swallowed, glancing away. He shook his head and he heard a tongue click from the raven across him. "I see. Legally, no one can force you to take them unless you become a danger to either yourself or to others, but I strongly advise you to at least see the school counselor once. He's helped many students in the past and has even seen some teachers here as well, All Might included."
The students perked up at that. An amused smirk marked the Pro Hero's face before he made to stand up. "Anyway, you both are dismissed." He dragged his yellow sleeping bag toward the door, sliding it open then turning back to the teens getting their bags ready. "Midoriya, Shiota. I'm your teacher. It's my job to make sure you feel safe in an educational environment. If you're having trouble with anything, you can come to me or the school counselor, alright?"
"Yessir! Thank you!" the boys replied quickly then filed out under Aizawa's arm that held the sliding door open. Nagisa stopped for a moment, then turned his head.
"Oh, and, um, sir? May I ask you call me Nagisa instead of my surname?"
"Odd request, but if that's what makes you comfortable." Aizawa nodded. A blistering smile burned on Nagisa's cheeks at that and he exclaimed a pleased 'thank you' before taking off after Izuku. He watched them chase down the hall with narrowed eyes before the umpteenth sigh that day left him and he shook his head.
"Why do I always have to pick up everyone's dirty laundry around here…"
---
"I'm ready t-to die…" Izuku was practically dragging his entire body after him, feeling more drained than he was this morning, which was really saying something. "Man, I-I wish I could've stayed in R-Recovery Girl's office...at- at least just to close my eyes a bit…"
"But then you would've missed your results, Izukun," Nagisa chuckled. "But also, same."
"Midoriya-kun! Shiota-kun!" Both boys turned their heads at a somewhat familiar voice and saw none other than that Iida kid from before. "Are you sure you're alright, Midoriya-kun? You look awfully worn out."
"Ah- um, y-yeah, I'm- I'm fine, really! Don't worry about me, hehe!" Izuku quickly replied, waving his hands around. Iida narrowed his eyes behind his glasses, obviously not buying it (Izuku seriously looked like he fought a tree and lost). He opened his mouth to delve in further before another voice stopped him.
"Hey! You guys, wait up!" And there comes the brunette girl from homeroom rushing towards them, waving wildly with a bright, excited grin lighting her face.
"Ah, you're that 'Infinity' girl." Nagisa almost choked at Iida reading his mind, but he held himself together.
"I'm Uraraka Ochako! You're, ummm, Iida Tenya, and if I'm not mistaken… Midoriya Izukun! I'm sorry I forgot your name there…"
Oh, she was talking to Nagisa. "Ah- I'm Shiota Nagisa, but please , call me Nagisa." He smiled softly, then gestured to his uncoiled snake heads who blinked at the girl with innocuous interest. "And this is Ko and Roka."
Uraraka's expression softened with adoration, cooing at the reptiles, "Aw, they're so cute! Ko and Roka? That's so cute! Just Nagisa, huh? Alrighty then!"
"Uh, 'Izukun?'" the boy in question smiled awkwardly with pinched eyes and a tilted head. "A-Actually, my real name is just 'Izuku'... 'I-Izukun' is- is just a nickname mm-my friends calls me, eheh…"
The girl's face lit up like someone set it on fire while she sputtered, hands lifting to cover her burning cheeks,"O-Oh! Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! I thought- It sounded so cute, I just- This is so embarrassing, aahh..."
"Ah! N-No- It's- I don't- Izukun is fine!"
Nagisa was drinking from his water bottle before almost spitting everything out and exclaiming with half a mouthful of water, " IHUKUH?!" He tried to swallow but instantly began half-choking with laughter. Iida looked alarmed, confused, and distressed all at once while Izuku was too preoccupied with enabling Uraraka with special nickname privileges to care. Awkwardly but with urgency, the taller boy started patting Nagisa's back, exclaiming his name while the shorter boy was bent over and laugh-choking.
"Well, well, what's- Holy crap, Nagisa's dying."
Attention snapped up (sans a dying Nagisa) to a red haired Karma and blonde Rio joining the group.
"Izukun, who're these clowns?" Karma raised a brow, though he looked tense like he was holding back his frustration for something.
"Ah-"
"Excuse me, 'clowns'?! How dare you insult us!"
"I-Iida-san, it's- Karma, don't- y-you- ugh, do you have to i-insult everyone you meet?" Izuku groaned, rolling his eyes at the boy while dragging his cheeks down.
Karma smirked in response and Rio hummed her laughter while shaking her head. "Sorry about this fool," she began, stretching her hand out. "I'm Nakamura Rio from Kunugigaoka Junior High. I'm in Support class! This fool is-"
"Akabane Karma, but call me Karma. Same junior high, but I'm in the Business course." The redhead pocketed his hands.
Uraraka and Iida exchanged their own introductions, accepting Rio's friendly handshake.
"So you all know each other? Were you in the same class or something? You seem awfully close," Uraraka curiously inquired, tilting her head as the six of them started off toward the station, Nagisa having recovered from his near-death experience a moment ago. The four ex-assassins exchanged glances with sad smiles before Izuku nodded.
"Y-Yeah. We're, um, we're pretty close."
There was a lot that went unsaid with that reply. Too many sleepless nights they stood up for to comfort distress friends. Too many heated yet mournful and delirious arguments that stemmed from past troubles that can never be fixed. Too many midnight calls between classmates and close friends because they couldn't get his smile out of their dreams. Too many everything, but it was like bonding glue to their hearts, sealing them all closer than before. There was more than just assassination that kept them together.
Uraraka and Iida had curious expressions light their eyes, but neither pushed the subject further, instead choosing to talk about the first day at UA to which the bashful Izuku and excitable Rio had no trouble chiming in with.
"Hey, speaking of which, what's up with you?" Rio looked to Karma, who started to accumulate strained veins on his neck, using every resource within his body to keep his smile non-menacing. "You look like being cheerful is physically killing you slowly."
"Yeah, it is. Guess which posh frickhead got into Business class. My Business class." The strain vanished then, his smile forming into something that would give villains shivers of impending doom. Nagisa and Iida grimaced.
"Oh no, don't tell me…" Nagisa hissed with condolence, squinting an eye. There's only one person who could make Karma look ready to actually kill someone and not enjoy it.
"Oh, i-it can't be..." Izuku raised a hand to his mouth. Iida and Uraraka hummed in confusion.
"Asano…" Rio sighed, slumping her shoulders slightly.
"Um? Who?" The gravity quirk wielder finally chirped, raising a hand. Nagisa could feel the confusion coming off the two in waves.
"Oh- Asano's just some wad of wet, human garbage from our old school," Rio waved them off with a smile. "I mean, he kind of got better later in the school year? I guess?" She raised a brow at Nagisa who shrugged in response. "Ah, well, he's still a load of humanized bull-"
"-shrimp."
"...right. Bull Shrimp. Thanks, Izukun."
Izuku gave a childish thumbs up.
"Anyway, he's the definition of 'snobby prince wannabe.' He's the son of Kunugigaoka's principal, so it's no wonder he ended up in UA, though I'm surprised he's not in any Hero Course… Didn't he always 'aim for the top'?"
Karma shook his head with an irritated huff. "Who freaking knows? All I know is that he's screwing up all my games. He's called me out on two pranks already and it's only the first day. He's such a teacher's pet, I just wanna shove some ghost peppers up his nose…"
Iida mumbled, "Ghost peppers…" to himself while Uraraka appeared more pumped about shoving some spices up a dude's nose than Izuku did.
"That guy sounds like a real piece of work!" she exclaimed. "That's gross he got put in your class. You should trap him with that one plastic wrap trick! Make him chase you or something…"
Karma gawked at her for a moment before muttering, "She's perfect…"
"Eh?"
"Izukun, hold onto her."
"HUH?? Shut up??"
All Izuku received in reply was a pat on the back and a sly, devilish grin. Izuku shuddered. "I-Ignore him. He gets high off m-messing with people."
"Oh, haha!" Uraraka giggled the awkward off as they neared the train station. "Hey! By the way, which train stop do you guys get off at?"
"Train? What, you wanna go home so soon?" Karma raised a brow.
"It's the first day of UA, why not celebrate a bit? Ice cream, anyone?" Rio raised her hands in excited gestures.
"Oh you're right! We should totally eat out for a treat!" the brunette bounced. "Plus it's not even evening, and I don't have curfew so I'm free all day. What about you guys?"
Nagisa shrugged, pulling out his phone. "My dad works late, so I can just text him and let him know."
"Y-Yeah, same." Izuku nodded, copying his shorter friend. "Gotta text my, uh, my mom to let her know. I-I think she s..said something about dinner tonight? I'm not- uh, I'm not sure though."
"I'm free whenever too." Karma raised a hand.
Iida nodded with a hand adjusting his glasses. "I'm free as well this afternoon."
Nagisa pulled up his texting app to notify his dad, blinking at an unread message from him.
Dad:
Gonna be late for dinner :(. Go ahead and order pizza tonight, I left some yen on the table! Love you
Nagisa felt himself deflate a bit, breath leaving him in a soft cloud of hopelessness.
Listen—he was glad his father wasn't smothering like his mother was. It was...freeing. Dad let him do so many things his mother never did. He could hang out with his friends whenever, he could have phone calls and video chats without anyone looking over his shoulder with paranoia rolling onto him from another body. Dad never checked his texts or asked about what he thought of this outfit or that—he was...pretty lenient about most everything.
Maybe a bit too lenient.
Nagisa frowned, gripping his phone a bit harder when a flash of unfocused anger lit up in his chest and his snakes honed in on the phone with a low hiss rising from them both.
Me:
That's okay. Thanks. Is it okay if I hang out with some friends from school?
The response came moments later.
Dad:
Of course!!! Take pictures and let your friends know if u need a ride!! don't be out too late either!!! Love you
Me:
Love you too Dad, and dont worry i wont, we're only getting ice cream, c u later
Smiling sadly, Nagisa raised his head to his friends. "My dad says it's fine."
"My, uh, My mom s..said I-I have to be home by 4 b-but that should be enough time for, um, for ice cream," Izuku smiled brightly.
Uraraka cheered, "Awesome! Let's go downtown then; I know this great place near my apartment! Oh , and it's cheap too! Come on, the next train is stopping."
---
They spent an hour at the ice cream shop, which Izuku and Nagisa realized wasn't too far away from their own apartments. They talked about their day and what they thought of their teachers and classmates. It was odd for the ex-kunugigaoka students to be in separate classes but they still made it work. Later it turned into talking about memes and watching old vine compilations (some of which made Iida gasp in horror at the language being used; Karma just laughed even more).
Izuku found out Uraraka really enjoyed silly animal vines, which made the boy very happy for some reason.
Finally, it was Izuku that announced that he had to go back home before his mom starts to panic. Uraraka encouraged everyone to exchange numbers, so now he guessed he has another girl's number? That was pretty neat. Nerve wracking! But neat. So then they parted ways for dinner.
Izuku unlocked his front door with an exhausted greeting, "Mom! I'm home!"
"Welcome home, sweetie!" came the instant reply of his mother as he took his shoes off at the door and hung his backpack on the coat rack. "How was school, Izuku? You have to tell me all about it—oh my! Look at the time- get dressed, sweetie, we're late for dinner!"
Izuku raised a brow as he took his uniform jacket off. "Huh? Wh-why? Oh, right. We're going out f-for dinner, r-right? Who with?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you who!" Mom came out of the kitchen, dressed not formally, but still very nice. It made Izuku smile a bit. Her face was lit up like a star, excitement buzzing from her. "We're going to Mitsuki's! The Bakugou's, I mean—You know, your childhood friend I told you about?"
"WHAT!" His eyes widened at that and he ran to his room to change—crap, he knew nothing about Katsuki! Er, Kacchan? Bakugou? Which one would he prefer being called? Ugh, how weird would it be to learn someone from your childhood you probably don't even remember has been learning secondhand stuff about you from their mom? He hoped Bakugou didn't think he was a creep—it's not like he wanted to forget everything about his childhood. Eugh, he probably already thought he was a weirdo from all the staring today…
Grimacing at the thought, he put on a white t-shirt along with a turquoise jacket and some slightly baggy jeans. The T-shirt had the phrase "Plus Ultra!" written on it. Bakugou didn't strike him as a formal attire sort of person, but he'd at least look a little…okay.
His frown grew deeper when he looked in the mirror and the freckled teen instantly threw his shirt off to pick another less geeky shirt; Geeky is not the vibe he wants to send off. What if Bakugou laughs at him? A strangled whine of frustration leaves the teen while he goes through two more shirts, judging them to be clashing too much with his jacket.
"Ugh! J-just PICK ONE!!" he half-yelled at himself before angrily tossing on a baby pink shirt that had a tiny drawing of an alien head on it. Grumpily, Izuku grabbed a black jacket instead and zipped it up with a huff. "There. No one will know. N-No one will care! Shut up and-and take a- t-take a deep breath." He loosened up while he took deep breaths to calm himself. "Okay… Okay…"
He left the room with his rejected clothes in a disheveled pile in the corner. His mom rounded the hallway corner and caught his eye and she gave a pursed look that he knew said, 'I can't believe you're going out looking like that,' in an undertone. So it didn't surprise him when she vanished into the bathroom and returned with a hairbrush in her hand and without being prompted to, Izuku sighed and followed his mother into the dining room where she pulled out the knots in his hair, muttering questions she knew she wouldn't get answers for but asked anyway.
Izuku winced when she pulled on a hard knot, almost pulling away when the bristles scratched over a few bumps on his head, irritating the skin. As merciless as ever, though, Inko didn't stop and just kept working on his hair while mumbling to herself. She was done after two-to-three excruciating minutes of knot untangling that felt more like two-to-three excruciating years.
"You need to take better care of yourself, sweetie," she tenderly said, gesturing him to stand up so they could leave. "When was the last time you brushed your hair?"
Probably….a month…? Eugh, his mental voice sounded so dead inside… well, technically he guessed it was? He swallowed back a laugh. Instead, Izuku simply shrugged as he handed his mom her purse before she closed the front door and locked it. "I was, um, in a rush this morning, s…s-so I must've just forgot…"
Mom softened at the tone of his voice, filled with a tender sheepishness that never failed to sway her sympathies. A stab of guilt hit Izuku—that was...manipulation, wasn't it? He didn't mean it, he really did feel rushed this morning, it's not like he purposely neglects to take care of himself?
(Except you do…)
Izuku shook his head in surprise at the subconscious thought that wiggled into his head. He squinted and pursed his lips, looking out the passenger window of their car after buckling his seat.
"That's alright, Izuku. I know you've been very nervous about UA. Oh, I'm so proud of you, you know? You've worked so hard…" Mom put the car in drive and backed out.
Her words felt like nails in his skin, kind as they were. Stop, I don't deserve this. Not after all I've done. He didn't trust himself to reply steadily so he just hummed in response, still staring out the window and watching the scenery of the town pass by. He wondered where exactly Nagisa lived? He'll have to ask Ritsu.
Sensing the need to change the subject, bless Mom's heart , the sweet woman began with, "Mitsuki invited us today, you know?" Izuku glanced at Mom, who smiled. "I was keeping us moving back a surprise for her too. But she found out through Katsuki, you know—the boy I told you who used to play with you all those years as a child. I was planning on inviting her over for dinner today as the surprise but it seems she beat me to the punch!" Mom laughed.
Izuku couldn't help but smile. He was happy she still had such a deep connection to 'Aunt Mitsuki' (as Mom insisted on him saying), even after all these years. It was sad to Izuku that he couldn't rekindle anything with Bakugou, though. If it wasn't for his memory and having moved—he wondered what sort of person Bakugou was? Back then? Now? The thought made his insides shiver with both anticipation and anxiety.
He seemed really loud in class today. Angry. Wild. 'Rowdy' was probably the nicest way to describe him, if he were in front of him anyway. He didn't intimidate him before, but thinking about it now made him second guess his outfit again. I LOOK SO EMO… EUGH… Where's that fashion police kid when I need him?
Wincing at himself, he dug his hands in his jacket pockets and sank in his seat.
"What's wrong, honey? Don't slouch there, it's dangerous." His mom's voice jolted him from his brooding thoughts. Of course she would notice his dumpy mood, ugh. He obeyed and sat straight in the chair.
---
He can't remember much of elementary school—just the nervous waves of anxiety crashing onto him as he rode in the car to school. It was his first day.
He was scared.
"What's wrong, sweetie?"
He swallowed hard. His throat was constricting painfully as he fought back tears and it took him awhile before he could breathe again.
"Wh-what- what if th-they don't- they don't like m-m-me?" His stutter was worse back then, and he had a lot more quiet days then he did now, not to mention he twitched a lot when he was nervous, blinking hard, fondling with his hands, and bobbing his knees.
"Oh, Izuku, baby, they'll love you. You're wonderful."
He remembers vaguely smiling at those words.
That day the children laughed at the way he spoke.
---
"Oh, um, nothing, i-it's just- I, well-" He swallowed. "Bakugou… wh-what if he… doesn't… like me?" He doesn't know why but he half-expects her to laugh at that—he sounds so pitifully childish—so he doesn't look at her. They're at a red light, and he feels her eyes on him. Soft and warm like hot cocoa wrapped in a blanket by a campfire, melting him and drawing his own (cruel, traitorous, deceitful, evil) viridian eyes to meet with hers.
"Sweetie, you are the most caring, sweetest cupcake I've ever known in my life," she says without wavering. "And I know Katsuki is a rather… hard… headed type of person, and he may be a bit brash, but I know even he won't be able to scowl at your kindness."
The light turns green.
The words hurt like hell, drawing a deep guilt from his stomach to his throat, burning him but he can't find it in him to frown at his mother so he forces his biggest, brightest, freak-fakest smile he has in his arsenal for her. She seems to take it well and after a turn toward an apartment complex building, Izuku suddenly finds himself standing in front of an apartment door awkwardly while holding the food gift of katsudon in his arms.
His heart is ramming against his ribs, trying to break out and his legs seem to be attempting to develop their own sort of jello-transformation quirk. The door cracks open after his mom rang the doorbell and his heart shoots into his throat and all he can do is manage a wobbly smile as a blonde haired woman steps out with who he assumed to be her husband right behind her.
"INKO!!" The woman all but screams in utter delight and now Izuku understands why his mother had him hold the katsudon instead because the blonde woman just freaking throws herself onto his mom, squeezing her half to death. And he thought Professor 'Viç's hugs looked deadly… He shuddered then squeaked when the woman's sharp eyes shot to him.
"Oh, and Izukun's here, too! Not gonna lie, from what you told me of him, I was afraid maybe my snot of a son would'a scared him off," she tried muttering the last part, but Izuku would have to be actually deaf to not catch it. He only smiles awkwardly in return. "Oh, you're so grown up, look at you! The last time I saw you, you were yay high; only just under my knees!"
Izuku swallows. Oh this is ten million times more awkward than a real family reunion, and no one's actually related to anyone… What does he say? What does, like, anyone say in this situation?? Another bout of awkward laughter and he nods. "I-It's, um, n-nice to finally, uh, f-finally meet you, um, uh… A… Aunt M-Mitsuki…" Ouch, that hurt the pride to say.
Her hands clapped together and she looked wildly at Mom. "Holy frick, he called me 'aunt'!! Frick, that's adorable. That's more respect than my Katsuki has for me, what the frick." Izuku felt his cheeks burning and he felt twenty degrees hotter than he did this morning. What the crap is going on… this is so embarrassing…
Her husband then begins to usher the two in after a moment of talking (or what could probably pass as 'talking' in another distant planet somewhere), realizing Mitsuki got carried away with being reunited with her old high school bestie.
Walking in nervously, Izuku catches Bakugou slouched on their living room couch, fiddling with his phone and otherwise avoiding contact with everyone. Swallowing, Izuku turns to Mitsuki and asks in a timid voice where he could put the Katsudon down, to which she answers sweetly by pointing to the kitchen counter and saying, "right over there, sweetie."
Nodding, the teen escapes to the open-concept kitchen and sets the food down before stealing a glance at Bakugou. He doesn't seem the least bit interested in anyone there, looking more annoyed than anything. Izuku envies that emotion. God, if only he could take his care away.
"One moment, Inko— KATSUKI! GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND ENTERTAIN OUR GUESTS, FOR PETE'S SAKE! GET OFF YOUR FREAKING PHONE!"
Izuku almost jumps a foot in the air in surprise.
"SHUT UP, HAG!" came the immediate huff, yet despite his irritation, the angry teen pockets his phone and stands up, turning around to catch Izuku's spooked expression. Then he smirks and honestly? Izuku would rather take a Detroit Smash to the face than deal with whatever kind of terrifying personality type Bakugou was copping right now. His hands rub over each other at his chest nervously.
Bakugou nods his head to the door. "Food's not done yet. Let's take a walk."
"O-Okay!"
Oh my frick, he's gonna murder me in an alleyway and leave me for dead! Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap—
"Quit your muttering, we're just going to the park, geez."
"O-oh, uh, s..s-sorry! Bad, uh, b-bad habit, eheh…"
He is so way past his social quota for the day.
---
"So, that's some killer quirk you's got," Katsuki eyed Izuku as they sat on the swingset—well, Izuku sat, Katsuki was standing on his swing. The nervous teen rolled his shoulder and stared at the playground while nodding mindlessly. He seemed dazed. Katsuki raised a brow.
"Ah, yeah, it's… i-it's hard to control," he replied, blinking the clouds away before glancing at the blond beside him. Katsuki swung on the seat harder to get some momentum then stopped.
"Really," he drawled. It wasn't sarcasm, per say, just—it was obvious wasn't it? And the snot tried to play that off. "It obliterated your finger. What the frick kind of quirk does that?"
Izuku swallowed and his hands tightened around the chains as he lowered his head. A dry laugh left him. "Heh, it's- it's not as b-bad, really. I'm a-a lot better than what I- how it- um, than before."
A blow of air left Katsuki's nostrils as he hopped off his swing and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Turning, he studied the greenhead who seemed desperate to avoid his eyes. Katsuki squinted.
Yeah, Katsuki remembers Izuku. He remembers having a little green puppy following him around in preschool and kindergarten. He was… okay company. A little whiny but everyone in that stupid school was whiny. And annoying. The only thing that made them closer than other students was how their moms always set up playdates and sleepovers after school and on weekends. They'd watch All Might videos and play Heroes and generally hang out anywhere else—so yeah, he guessed he and Izuku were pretty tight back then. But then they stopped, and Izuku never came to school anymore. He asked his mom about it, and she just said that Izuku got very sick and they had to go away for awhile. Katsuki wouldn't admit it out loud but he half-hoped he'd see Izuku again. And lo and behold.
Taking in the shorter teen, he seemed a lot… greyer than what he remembered. He saw a bit of pink poke out from the black zipped up jacket he had, but that's about as much color he had besides his hair and eyes. His eyes looked pretty dead too. Izuku looked like a goth walked out of a cemetery. And what's with that stutter?
It occurred to the explosive teen that he knew next to nothing about this Midoriya Izuku anymore.
"Why'd you leave?" Katsuki found himself asking. Izuku jumped at the question, shaking and turning his head to stare at the explosive blond.
"Oh, uh- I- well- um- wh-what?"
"When we were little, where'd you go? The old hag never told me you even moved. She just said you got sick and had to go away for a bit, but you never came back." He leaned against the swingset pole.
Izuku swallowed again, glancing away. A nervous chuckle left him. "Oh, well, she- ahah, she's not... wrong . Um." His hands uncurled from the chains and instead tangled with each other. His leg started to bob. "It- it was so long ago, I-I guess I could… talk about it now? I don't, um, r-remember much of it, but- there was a, uh, a villain attack. When I was little. I was caught up in it and I-I was hurt p-pretty badly. The, uh, doctors said I hit my- my head really hard, s… so I, I lost a good p-por- uh, part of my memory."
Katsuki blinked at that.
"A-And now I've- I've got this, um…"
"That's why you stutter."
Izuku flinched and his shoulders raised with his hands tied tightly together between his knees. He nodded sheepishly. "W-We relocated. I-I was… I was bullied pretty badly i-in the schools there…"
Katsuki nodded with a scowl. Frick, what the crap? Is that why Izuku responded how he did when he snapped this morning? He blinked at a sudden thought. "Wait, you lost your memory? Bullcrap. How'd you recognize me then?"
"It- It wasn't- full memory loss, um… I still remembered s-some stuff like, I liked All Might a-and I still recognized my- my mom. I remembered you b-but," he paused and rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb. "I guess… only the concept of you… i-if that makes sense? I-I didn't know your name, your face, y-your quirk… I remembered being 'Deku' but… but that's it. Mom's the one who- who showed me pictures and t-talked about you."
Katsuki loosened his tense muscles against the pole again. Alright. That checked out. Still sucked spikes, but—Izuku didn't seem like a liar. That emo look didn't seem like a brooding style either, more like a 'I am genuinely the most tired piece of crap you'll ever meet' style. His dark eyes seemed—stupid pathetic but sad at the same time. It made him think of 'I've seen some stuff in my lifetime' and he vaguely wondered if he has. No doubt. Considering he survived a villain attack at, like, four.
"Damn," he commented. "You were only, what, four? Five? Had your quirk even come in then?"
Izuku's face cracked, like he was the butt of a self-deprecating inside joke and he hated it but couldn't stop smiling at some hidden irony. "Ahahah, w-well, my- my stutter wasn't the only reason why I-I was bullied…" He looked like he wanted to punch himself.
Katsuki narrowed his eyes at him. No, definitely not a liar, but probably too honest when asked direct question. Secrets and private stuff, he can respect, but he wasn't a liar. Kudos to Izuku, Katsuki didn't hate him. "Look, I'm already starting to hate your elementary and junior high classmates, what in the world could possibly make it worse?"
"Ah, well, I was- e-everyone- we thought- the- hmm," he paused and pursed his lips, coughing. "S-sorry, it's hard. Um, the doctors thought I-I was quirkless s-so everyone else did too." Something in his eyes felt broken when they shifted up to meet scarlet. A sad smile marked his face. His voice was small and shaky. "D-Did you know quirkless kids h-have the highest rate of ss… s-suicide? Most don't make it past eighteen."
Katsuki felt his insides freeze like ice at that. His eyes widened. He felt like he had just seen someone assaulted and he couldn't do anything to stop it.
"What?" The heck? He took a step forward, hands pulled from his pockets and burning. "Someone told you to freaking kill yourself? Seriously? What the he- who the frick does that?"
Izuku froze then shrugged, eyes falling to the wood chips beneath them. "I-I was used to it. Besides, I t-turned out to be a late bloomer anyhow. S… So everything's alright now."
That ticked him off even more. What right did anyone have to tell someone to off themself? Izuku was- what he remembered from Izuku before, he was selfless, a bright star lighting up the dark. He wanted so badly to be a hero- and here he was, attending UA as one of only twenty students to get into the hero course. If that didn't take balls then Katsuki didn't know what did. And with a freaking self-destructive quirk like that?!
"Like hell it is. Did any of those snot bags make it into UA?"
Izuku blinked, raising his head again. Confusion lit his eyes, tilting his head. "Wh-wha-"
"You heard me. Did any of those dipstick-frickheads make it into UA?"
His confusion only grew and he slowly answered, "I… I think only one. Wh-Why?"
"What's his name?"
"What?? Why??"
"Just give me their freaking name, stupid."
"A-Asano Gakushuu, um, b-but why?"
"Sounds like a piece of work. If that sleaze ball gets close to you at school, and you don't quirk-punch him in the balls, I'm exploding you and him into the stratosphere." His eyes looked like fire to the freckled boy sitting on the swings. "I hate seeing people who can clearly defend themselves letting others walk all over them. It pisses me off. I won't protect you, but I swear Izuku, if I see you letting anyone walk over you like a doormat, you bet your late quirk I'm blasting you sky high."
Izuku could only stare at the fiery blond stupidly and nod as Katsuki straightened himself and zipped up his own jacket. With a huff, he gestured for the starstruck Izuku to get up. "Come on, let's head back. Dinner should be ready by now."
"O-Okay! Um," Izuku followed after the blond with a bit of a stumble but he didn't fall. "Hey should- um, should I call you Katsuki or- or Bakugou, or Kacchan..?"
Katsuki snorted harshly. "Do whatever, I don't care. But if you call me 'Kacchan' in front of people, I'm skinning you alive."
"K-Katsuki it is…" Izuku let out a nervous chuckle and under his breath, he muttered, "Wow, he's… really awesome…"
Another snort. "Frick yeah I am!"
"Frick, I s-said that out loud!!"
---
Nagisa came home later than he should have. Dad still wasn't home, so it was whatever. He could still leave and come back an hour later and Dad would probably still be at work. He wondered if his dad liked work better than being home. The thought angered him.
Wasn't he better than Mom? Wasn't this safer than it was before? Freaking- didn't Dad say he loved him? Why wasn't he home yet?
Ko and Roka hissed at nothing while Nagisa's silent, mournful anger rose and he yanked his school tie off with a grunt of frustration, tossing it to the floor along with his school jacket. He fought back burning tears.
Dang nabbit… why was this so hard? Even with the witch locked up and away, he still had to deal with the mess she left. He still had to deal with looking over his shoulder, wondering if his mom would be home waiting with a belt tight in her hands, dealing with a painful twist of anxiety in his stomach when he thought I'm late, Mom's gonna be so mad —
Nagisa choked back a sob and a hand pressed against his mouth as he swallowed hard. No, he wasn't going to cry. He wasn't. Slowly, robotically, he bent down to pick up his jacket and tie and to hang it on a dining room chair.
His stomach hurt so badly. It started hurting when they went out to eat ice cream, but he couldn't tell if that was it. After they all went separate ways, Nagisa took the train to downtown Tokyo where he wandered for a couple hours. He didn't buy anything, just wanted to get lost. He thought about heading to Kunugigaoka and see his old classroom—but he wasn't ready for that. That building held a lot of pain.
Nagisa shook his head and stiffly walked to his room to change. He got into a large t-shirt with the word 'hssss!' on it and some PJ shorts, something to be comfortable in. He hadn't realized until he felt dizzy but he was feeling a little winded; feeling a shortness of breath. Panic surged in him when it clicked.
No, no, no, he's not freaking out, not now. No tears, no crying, no being a baby. Come on, Nagisa, you've been fine. You've been dealing just fine until now. Hold it steady. Just-
Something in his stomach surged and he gagged, hand cover his mouth as he bent over. Tears pushed his eyes and he instantly tried to collect saliva in his mouth, but with a dry mouth that was difficult.
What was this? What's going on?
His thoughts sprang from his mother to his father to Korosensei, then the gut-wrenching fear he had today when Aizawa-sensei called him and Izuku to his office after school—he felt like a dam in his mind was breaking and he was about to drown. His throat burned with acid— crap.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God-"
Nagisa nearly tripped on himself, grabbing his phone and racing to the bathroom.
A sharp cry escaped him as he let it out in the toilet.
Three hurls later, and he sat weakly on the floor, gasping and weeping. His stomach was empty. The ice cream gone. Maybe it was spoiled. He felt a wail push its way out from him. Nagisa scrambled for the phone. " Call Dad, call Dad- call Dad," he broke when he hit the 'call' button.
Three rings, and he heard his dad pick up, soft voice answering, "Nagi?"
" Daddy," Nagisa choked childishly, "I- I need you- I need you right now, I-I can't- I'm- I'm throwing up- I- it hur-" He stopped when he gagged again. He never flushed; the smell was stabbing him, along with the guilt. He heard his dad call his name desperately after he dropped the phone and turned back to the toilet and heaved some more. His stomach hurt more than anything he's ever felt-
"DAD! Ohmygod- " he screamed and he poured more of his stomach out with a desperate wail. "DAD COME HERE!"
Dad's voice was faint, the phone wasn't on speaker but he could understand the panic when he heard a distant, "Oh my- Nagisa, hold on Nagi! Daddy's coming, I'm on my way- just stay on the phone!"
Nagisa weeped at how tender and caring his father sounded. He did love him, he did. He really did.
What started this all? He felt like hot knives were stabbing into him and he sobbed loudly. Pain, he was in so much pain. Physically, emotionally- emotionally?
Yeah… his heart hurt. His heart was longing, it felt desperate. Reaching out for something- some one he couldn't have anymore.
His breath hitched at the thought of Korosensei again.
His heart squeezed and he cried more, drowning himself with the smell and the distant voice of his dad's reassurance on the phone. More bile rose with his thoughts.
He missed Korosensei. He was so sorry, he was so angry- he hated the government, he hated villains and heroes and assassins and death. He hated that class, what he had to do, what he was trained to do. There was so much good Korosensei's done and so much bad, but he wasn't bad. He was good, he was a true hero—he saved his students, he saved Nagisa! He saved Nagisa from his devil mother, from society, from- from himself…
Why did they have to do it? Why was it Nagisa who had to run the knife through his beloved teacher? Why was the government so cruel to set this up—Korosensei wasn't a danger to anyone!! He wanted nothing more than to teach his students, to- to make his students happy and keep them safe.
There was so many things Nagisa wanted to tell Korosensei that night. So many things that were left truly unsaid. He'll never be able to tell him. He never will… he'll never be able to truly say 'thank you' or express how much Korosensei meant to him and the class. He'll never be able to tell Korosensei he looked to him like a father, he'll never be able to ask for help, to vent, to tell him what's been killing him for the past month. He hated this more than anything.
Pain seared his throat, burning his scrunched face, stabbing his lower abdomen with a vengeance.
He slumped weakly against the tub, wheezing tearfully and hugging his midsection. Long, drawn out moans escaped him as he stared sightlessly at the wall between the toilet and the bathtub. Tears dripped off his chin and he hiccuped.
There were so many things he wanted to say and do with Korosensei, with his family of Class 3-E. It hurt him so much. There was so much loss scratching at his arms and neck and chest. Nagisa was trapped. He didn't deserve to be in UA. He didn't deserve to keep his wonderful, wonderful friends—or even make more of them. He hated heroes, and villains, and assassins. The white, the black, and the grey. He hated Korosensei for letting this happen to him, for accepting his fate so soon. He should have fought more, he should have lived for them.
Nagisa heard the front door swing open, his father's voice shouting, "Nagisa?!" Footsteps sounded closer until his father appeared in front of the bathroom door. Nagisa had his head against the side of the tub, eyes weakly struggling to stay open while Dad knelt down beside him. There was a flush, and then a hand nudged his face toward Dad. Nagisa's sunken eyes drifted to meet him. "Are you okay?! What happened? You're so pale, how much did you throw up?"
Nagisa sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before Dad lifted him by the shoulders gently but firmly. "Nagisa? Nagisa!"
He felt himself mutter an answer, but it was incoherent even to him. Dad cursed and he felt his body rise from his seat on the tile floor, warm hands under his knees and neck. Everything started to blur together. He felt snake tongues dance across his burning forehead, soft hisses of concern—something, something 'hospital.' Nagisa let out a sob, turning his head into his dad's chest while his arm hung limply at his side.
"...Sensei," he wailed, tears falling down the sides of his face.
He heard the soft whispers of his dad, his body bouncing while he raced down the stairs outside their apartment. "It's alright, Daddy's here, Nagisa. I'm right here, you're gonna be okay." Was Dad crying?
He heard a door open and his body was laid down—car? His stomach threatened to unload again, so he groaned painfully. He was still crying—or not. He couldn't breathe, his cheeks felt tingly.
Nagisa faded out of existence once or twice, feeling so weak and empty. He snuck a look at the stars that lit the sky before being put in the car. He saw a shooting star vanish.
A wish, huh…
His wishes never come true anyway.
Cadeaux
-- Cadeau
reçu État de l’alimentation hebdomadaire
-- Classement
Power Stone 
-- Power
stone