Chapitre 28: Urges of the night

I was the night guard of my house from very early ages. For some reasons, I couldn't do my private and very sacred passions early in the morning. I usually sleep for 5 hours a day at max and other hours were my inner soul mates. I had a group of my own all were living inside my head. We ate together, worked together, slept together and even took vacation together, we never stayed a part from each other because they all were living inside my head. No, I wasn't suffering from any phobia or anything. It was just what I feel comfortable with. I read many psychological theories, issues, stories, articles and books about it but all it seemed normal. It was completely unknown to any psychological books because I wasn't the introvert or nerdy type. It was just me. I had many friends online, off line, even had a group to study and work with them but still I needed the voice of my inner soul mates. Every day was the same, after whole day of high school work and study, I had to take my shower and sleep then had my dinner, in holidays I had the whole day nap session and went for my part time job, I was a wedding photographer. It was a well paid job and I was improving on it. Yes, I had my temptation of luxury to progression. I had my own dog for petting, it was a golden akita but I named it 'mistress', so my future lover shouldn't be offended. At midnight, I loved to take tour on the skyline with my telescope. It was a beautiful gift from my parents when I was 15 years of teen. That night I was doing the same, hot chocolate coffee with marshmallows, grilled cheese, pringles and spicy egg cheese sandwiches alongside with me and my beloved mistress. His howling song at night in silent voice seemed to me serenade of past life as if he was missing his long lost girlfriend of other life because in his 7 years of life, he was still single and singing serenade at night to me. I was feeling bad about him, I had to do something for his love life. I was wandering around with my telescope as usual from sky then into my neighbourhood to took a sneak views of them then I saw her, it was a duplex house with small garden infront of the house, all garden lights were solar lights, I loved the idea of cost efficiency, she was in her veranda, in formal office outfits. Looking stunningly gorgeous to me, I couldn't tell about others but I never seen such beauty in my school mates or online friends. Beige long one piece cotton dress with linen long sleeves, mandarin collar, military style jacket without any shoes on her but oriental carpet slippers, wavy hair were flying in the air, looking like an ice fairy taking her time off from human life, drinking some kind of liquor with one hand and another with a box of chocolates. Golden yellow light from her back made her more attractive. Every curve of her body was clearly drawn by the light, her few unbuttoned dress showing the dark secrecy into it, thin line gone to downwards where the mountains landed on the sea of streams that probably in the mist of lust where it was hidden from my eyes but her unbuttoned silky thighs shyly playing games with the breeze of nature, playing pick a boo with my googled eyes, I was nearly engulfing her. Within the limelight of the moon, I could see her diamond like sparkling eyes beautifully engraved in her peach shaped face with rose petal lustrous lips, very slowly taking small sips in her drinks then taking small bites little by little in her chocolate, one after another she was exploring those chocolates, it's like she was testing it's goodness within, oh god, I was falling for an unknown stranger. When she was finishing her drinks then a man from behind came to grab her slim waist, then whispering in her ears, both of them giggling, she was feeling shy. Her shyly smear of smile on that lustful lips still in my mind, I memorized it like a seductress of my night. He was kissing her neck, biting her ears then slowly unbuttoning the rest of her dress, when she turned to him for a kiss, oh god, what a arousing sight it was for me, they were kissing like they were couldn't have enough of their lips, softly muttering, smiling and kissing. She was still holding her glass and chocolate, she stopped him to take breath then finished her drinks and made him to eat her leftover chocolate then started again and went to their bedroom. I was feeling so disappointed by losing them from my sights. It seemed I might cry then after 15 minutes of long waiting, I went to my bed. It was then I fall for a woman for the very first time and still searching for such. Later, I was there to find her but I never could've founded her, her husband always took her for the business trip then one day they sold the house and moved out. I dated girls from my high school but all they were busy with their back biting, fighting and gossiping, I moved out as soon as I saw such nonsense in them but take a time for her to remember. It was raining like cats screaming on dogs. I was slightly nostalgic annoyed, and bit of anguished to myself. Kept loving memories of someone that I didn't even know. How and why, I was full of her in me, I really hoped to know myself. I couldn't stand any girl, somehow they all were lack of something decency or innocence or that little hesitation of completely unaware devotional slavery to love, couldn't decide.