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Chapitre 9: Eighth Lie

Silence. The paper was left forgotten on the floor as she grips her violin. Kaori is just staring into.. nothingness. She can only her hear heart beating, a proof that she is alive. For some reason, hearing her heat beat makes her feel bitter. She feel disgusted to herself. She was to perform violin. She wants to play again in front of many people. But suddenly, voices keeps mocking her inside her head.

 

Do you really want to perform?

They will not look at you the same way they did before everything happened

You will be mocked

You don't deserve to play anymore

 

Kaori was forcibly back into reality when she felt a stinging pain from her finger. It seems that she unconsciously cut her finger from the strings of her violin and there is a beautiful scarlet that appears from the small wound. She felt strange while looking at the blood on her fingers, as if it was embracing her attention, taunting her.

 

"E-eh? It… stings" she whispered.

 

Isn't it?

But its fine.

Hurting yourself, cutting yourself, isn't that what you deserved?

Your parents already died and yet you're still alive doing what you want?

Shameless

 

The voices keeps shouting. Shut up. Shut up. She gripped her violin, and yet, the voices only laughed at her.

 

How can you repay your parents?

What do you think?

Stop playing

But that is not enough right?

After all, it's your fault that they died

 

"Shut up!!" she screamed, her eyes shut closed as she held her head painfully, the violin are still in her hands. Big droplet of tears suddenly fell from her eyes. One drop, two drop, three drop, until she can't count anymore. But the voices are getting louder and she can't do anything to make them stop.

 

Don't be like that

We know that this is also what you want right?

 

"No!!"

 

Shameless bitch

 

"STOP!!!!"

 

You do not want us to stop, right?

That's a lie.

You're a liar

 

"Shut up!! Shut up!! Stop it!!!"

 

Your friends must be confused as to why you are still alive.

You should know what to do right?

Hey, hey. You know that right?

What does your heart wants?

Listen

Tell us, what do you want the most?

 

Kaori was confused and she's scared. They won't listen to her even if she begged. The voices are laughing and she's afraid. Is this insanity? Why? What does her heart wants? She can't stop crying as she searched for the thing she wants the most. As she realized, her grip from her head and her violin loosened. The violin crashed on the floor and yet she does not care.

 

With tears from her eyes, she started to giggle, and laughed like crazy. She was able to find what she wants. Finally.

 

You are one of us right?

Someone like us who deserves only one thing,

Do you know what we deserve?

 

"Kukuku~! Of course!" she giggled as she understand what the voices meant

 

The one we deserve is the thing that we also want

You, who was left and shouldn't be here must understand,

You're a selfish bitch who deserves nothing but….

 

"Death" she interrupted. Her eyes was lifeless and her voice was strangely void of any emotion. The voices stopped mocking as if to confirmed that she is correct. Her heart aches as the tears still continues to fall from her eyes. But she can't wipe it. She can't do anything.

 

Kaori was falling down the pit of darkness.

 


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