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48.38% God among Bugs (on hiatus) / Chapter 15: Flying spaghetti monster

Chapitre 15: Flying spaghetti monster

After Larry set the food on the table everyone sat down to eat. Mike bowed his head and started praying silently, while he was praying everyone else stayed quiet just to be respectful to there friend once he lifted his head Larry spread his arms wide "Oh flying spaghetti monster in the sky I humbly offer these mortals to your noodly coil so that I can feast upon thy flesh."

"Haha very funny man you know if I was Catholic I'd be hitting you with a rosary right now" Mike has long since gotten used to Larry ragging on him about his religious inclinations and stopped caring long ago. "Hey man I'm just covering my bases besides you're the one who told me that the Bible says not to judge your fellow man based on his beliefs or humors".

"Yeah it says that but that's not a free ride to do whatever you want, you're just lucky as a Calvanist I'll try my best to make sure you can get wherever I go when we die" Tom looks up from his plate and wipes sauce from his face. "You honestly gonna put in a good word for him? I'd save that lucky ticket for someone special if I were you."

Before Mike could say anything Mari butts in "No one is as 'Special' as Larry Tom.. he needs all the help he can get." "Hey I'm special but not that way.. and thanks Mike I'll make sure too look out for you in the afterlife too" "Sorry Larry but I'm pretty sure all you could get me is a hotter seat in Hell but I appreciate the thought" Mike replies causing Tom to choke for a second.

"Ok no making people laugh while they eat I'm gonna be pissed if this is my last supper" "Why? I heard dying as a virgin can get you reborn as a sage in your next life.." Larry says only to have Tom stare him down "If you don't wanna die five minutes after making a pledge to your new God I would shut up now... and stop reading all of those manga they'll rot the little bit of brain you have".

"Dude your the one who got me on to slime tensai" Tom sighs "And we all regret it anyways good job on the food man" "Yeah it's really good Larry" Mari says while swirling a large ball of noodles onto her fork. "No problemo Mari hope you don't mind all the dishes it dirtied to make it" Larry says while smirking causing Mari to pause just before she bit into her food.

"Why did you have to remind me... can we do rock paper scissors?" "Oh no you lost fair and square just accept your fate." As Tom teases Mari Mike's phone rings. "Yes sir?.. oh ok yes sir I'll get Tom to bring me in a minute were eating right now.. understood I'll be home soon, yes sir love you too Dad, bye."

"Hey man I gotta go, dad wants me to lead youth group tonight and said I need to come home to get my stuff organized." "well guess I'll bum a ride now too" Larry says between bites as he shovels his food down his throat.

"Alright I'll go warm up the car, Mari you ready?" "Nah I'll clean up and Snoop around the house while you guys are gone." Tom pauses before he opens the front door. "Nope not gonna happen get in the car, I'll do the dishes".

Mari huffs and starts complaining. "Your seriously gonna kick a girl out before she can take a shower" Not knowing what to do Tom just scratches his neck and walks out to crank up his jeep grand Cherokee. After turning the key to the on position his radio kicked to life blasting Metallica's Four horsemen at Max volume.

"D@mn!t!!! Larry your an @$$hole.." Tom mumbled to himself as he turned the volume down and cranked his car up. He only has to wait for a few minutes before Mike and Larry walk out the door with their bookbags and jump inside. Mike is sitting shotgun while Larry sits in the middle of the back seat one hand on each of the front seats leaning forward to say "Your wife is getting shower fresh for you dude".

"Go F∆ck yourself man we aren't dating" Tom replied as he throws his car in gear and spins out in the driveway causing Larry to whip back into his seat and latch his seat belt. As they roll down the road Tom switches CDs to Pantera's cowboys from Hell, and the three of them begin singing along to the title track. After a few minutes Mike leans over and turns the volume down as they get close to his house. "I seriously don't wanna get into that debate with my old man sorry guys" ""It's cool"" Tom and Larry reply.

As they drop Mike off his dad opens the front door and comes out to the jeep. "Did you boys have fun this weekend?". ""Yes Mr Schulz"". "That's good to hear will you be making it to Mikey's debut?" Larry Answered first "I wouldn't miss it Sir, but out of curiosity what do I call Mike during the youth group? Junior pastor? or young Reverend?" Mike stares daggers at Larry from behind his father while Mr Schulz replied "haha neither of those Larry just Mike will work".

Some how Larry has everyone's parents fooled into thinking he's not capable of sarcasm or they think he's an idiot either way they never think he's being rude. "What about you Tom?". "I'll try my best to make it Sir but I may be unable to attend.."

Mike's father raises an eyebrow. "And why is that?" "Well sir my Jeep has been acting kinda funny and I plan on tearing the head down to see what the problem is, I don't want my only ride breaking on me while dad's out of town, but if it's ok with you I'll get Larry or Mike to stream the meeting for me so I can ask any questions I may have?".

"Well it's not quite the same as being there but I can understand and sure I don't see a problem with that, we could also record it so I can go over it with Mikey later." Mike's face turns pale as they turn around to head inside.

"You're seriously going?" Tom says as he looks at Larry whom switched over to shotgun. "of course dude I give him a hard time and all but I'm still his friend. what's wrong with the jeep?" "It started rattling after you bring it over 4,000 RPM, I think it's just getting old but I wanna make sure if I can fix it."

"Alright man.. Soo you and Mari really aren't dating right?" "We may be soon but no not yet". As they go down the road a little ways Tom pulls into Larry's drive way and drops him off. "See you later dude." Larry waves as he goes into his house.

After getting back to his house Tom opens his door and SPLAT he gets a face full of spaghetti... "It's the flying spaghetti monster!!!!" Mari screamed in fake horror while laughing so hard she starts crying.


L’AVIS DES CRÉATEURS
Sum12hate Sum12hate

Did you toucha my Spaghett?!?!

Chapitre 16: Smite night

"Very funny Mari, now I gotta go wash my face real.." THWAP Before Tom could finish his sentence a wet rag gets thrown and slaps him in the face. "Thanks.." As Tom wipes his face clean he looks up to see Mari is gone.

"Seriously.. what are we ten? you've never beat me at hide and seek before and you won't now" Tom walks through the house checking behind the couches and in the kitchen he decides to look in the basement since the door was left slightly ajar. "You down here Mari?" Tom asks as he flicks the lights on and off making ghost noises.

"hmm alright maybe the bathroom" Tom runs up the stairs and knocks on the bathroom door. "I'm about to open in five seconds so it's your fault if you're not decent!" he shouts counting to five out loud before creaking the door open and cutting on the light.. only to find her old clothes and a towel on the ground. *hmm if I yell out her bra size she might come out.. or just hit me when I find her* .

Deciding against his bad thoughts for fear of retaliation Tom checks his dad's room then the study... "Dude seriously Mari why are you in my room? you already found the worst.." Tom stops complaining after going into his room last only to see Mari sitting on his bed smirking while holding the half jar of wine.

"Dishes are done." "yes.. they are?" Tom answers confused, "And everyone is gone" Mari blushes a little and fidgets with the jar lid.

"Uh huh, here let me help you" Tom reaches for the jar and unscrews the lid. "You know what that means?" Mari whispers while getting close to Tom's face. As Tom opens his mouth Mari screams "Smite Night!!!" and starts laughing, "You should look at your face Tom you're redder than Larry's hair haha I told you that you had to be the..."

Tom kissed Mari on the lips mid sentence and walked away laughing while she sat there stunned. "Grab your laptop Mari I'll play support if you wanna carry." Mari stormed after Tom finding him at his dad's desktop.

"You did not just steal my first kiss like that!!" "Well I gave you my first kiss for it so we're even" "BULL!! that is not how that works Tom". "You should have seen your face.." Tom replied while mimicking Mari's accent after booting up the computer and feeling Mari staring daggers into his neck Tom turns around.

"Fine I'm sorry I was so sneaky Mari, how can I make up for.." Mari kissed Tom before saying "Just don't feed and I'll forgive you this time.. next time you try that though we better be dating" "Deal" Tom replied while grinning like a goof ball.

The two of them played smite for about an hour before finally getting a very close win. "Christ man we would have won ages ago if that Chronos didn't feed so hard." Mari complained while Tom cracked his knuckles before replying "Tell me about it, who knew Jorm and Skadi make such a good combo though".

The intense match helped knock some of the tension out of the air between them. "So you ready for me to drop you off? cause I gotta start working on my ride soon and once I tear

it down it won't be running till the morning.."

Mari looks at Tom and smirks. "Who says I'm not trying to stay the night?"

Before Tom could say anything Mari shoves him and continues "I'm joking Tom yeah I'm ready to go home" Mari walks out and collects her things from around the house. After they get in the jeep Mari turns up the music just as domination kicks on. "Soo romantic" She says sarcastically.

"I have some old crooners music in my CD case if you want?" "No thanks I'd rather this" as Tom drives Mari home they stayed quiet as Pantera played in the background. After Tom dropped Mari off he went straight home and pulled the jeep into the side of the garage he leaves empty for car repair.

After taking the valve covers off Tom gets a Skype call from Larry. "Hey man the youth group is about to start you ready to get your Jesus on?" Shortly after Tom See's Mike smack the back of Larry's head lightly "None of that in the Lord's house, Hey Tom" "What's up Mike I'll be listening I'm gonna mute my Mic though so the power tools don't interrupt you guys". "No problem man".

Tom mutes his mic and syncs his phone to the Bluetooth speakers so he can listen in as he works. Apparently today's lesson is about the book of Job. As Mike takes questions and gives out a few answers and different parts of the Bible to read, Tom carefully removes his head gaskets and checks for any nicks or pits on the Pistons.

By the time Mike's study group finishes Tom got to a decent stopping point and took his mic off mute. "How does Satan talk to God if God sent him to Hell and forbid him from heaven?".

Mike pauses and realized it was Tom on Larry's phone, "That's a good question Tom, in this part of the Bible a lot of confusion is caused by improper translation, The 'Satan' they're talking about is actually the Hebrew word for opposer or accuser, Basically it's not Satan the devil but one of gods angels who were asking him, kinda like an attorney at court wanting evidence of guilt, or in this case innocence or piety."

A voice Tom didn't recognize chimes in "So are there other parts of the Bible like this?" To which Mike replied "More than we can count or know of, see the Hebrew language is very complex and depending on sentence structure the words can have different meanings...." as Mike continued on more and more people raised even more questions. Tom muted his mic again and continued working on his car.

About an hour later Mike's youth group ended and as they all walked out Mike walked over to Larry and picked up the phone to look at Tom. "Hey man youth groups over you need a hand working on your jeep? I could probably get my dad to drop me and Larry off" Larry chimes in "Your just trying to avoid going over the video with your old man" Mike shoots a nasty look at Larry "Shut up dude, so what do you say Tom?".

Tom takes his mic off mute again before replying "I could always use a hand man come on over." "Alright we'll be there in thirty" Mike says before hanging up.


L’AVIS DES CRÉATEURS
Sum12hate Sum12hate

I have no thoughts but don't wanna leave this empty for some reason.. BTW anyone here play smite? I enjoy jungling occasionally but mostly main mid to keep the F∆ckups off my team.. seriously who takes an assassin mid on ranked makes me wanna throat hug people with both hands I swear

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