WIFE!!!! PLEASE BITE ME!!

LV 4

RandomGuy

Hey! You are doing a great job! It's a good story, keep it up! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

LV 11

Scarlettbunny

Alright so here it is. You do not have to name your chapters "Chapter #" the numbers are already given to you so you just come up with a name. Next the grammar and spelling are not that great. You spelled orange with two "R's" instead of one. Next your characters are there and you have pretty much set up the FL but it's the bare minimum. There is no real meat to your characters just the raw bone. Your FL has bad dreams, is moody and antisocial, she also kills a**holes, fine got it but what else? You jump around so much it looks more like a script for a movie. which isn't a bad thing but it's missing the bulk of the story. Basically see it as a movie in your head. Write what you see, the scenery, the types of clothing, the weather, the characters facial features and reactions. make us see what you see and then add in your lines. Give your book some life. Get rid of the sections. Make it flow into one another. Example. FL drops child as if her fingers were burning from his touch. She distorted her face with disgusted and fear, she turned around afraid to keep to see what the boy would say or do. She runs off, not daring to look back. She needs to get away, her safety is and always be top priority she would never make the same mistake, never again. There was no way her heart would forgive her if she did. Unknown to them a dark shadow watched the scene. He quickly moved from behind the tree and stealthily made it back to his master's side. "Wolf report." A low voice growl as he watched his subordinate kneel before him. "I have confirmed that she has not awakened to her true identity." Etc. Etc. Etc. Look at the end of the day it's your novel. The concept is interesting but it needs so much love and attention. Especially with all the information you have up front. Get a note pad and write down your characters. What you want your ending to be and how each character relates to one another. Then piece together your story. Don't give up just put some more meat into your story.

LV 15

Rxel

The story is currently developing nicely as the author shows the progression of the plot. The world design is coming along nicely, though there could be more descriptions to give a better idea of the scene that the characters currently find themselves in. There are various grammar and punctuation mistakes that can be found, but it seems to be improving across the chapters. Also, there's one thing that you do with the speech. You tend to end with a "." . For example: "Still not crying. Then, I will give a reason to cry." She wickedly laughed. Should be > "Still not crying? Then, I will give you a reason to cry," she wickedly laughed. The reason this is done is because their actions have a connection to the sentence, which makes it flow better when it is read. You might want to consider adding a header whenever you change POV's since you like to switch between them frequently. This will help the readers feel more grounded when they are reading. Other than that, I am enjoying the way the story is flowing currently, and the plot is moving at a decent pace. The way you changed the font during different situations is nice. Keep up the good work! Looking forward to more :)

I’m going to be honest. I feel as if I’m reading a draft for a book rather than an edited and proofed story. If I may give you some advice; take your time to write and proofread your own chapters often. Keep writing and improving and I’m sure you’ll be writing quality novels in no time! Don’t worry to much about the grammatical errors, (everyone makes them, me as well) get a spellcheck app and it will fix your problems. I believe the concept is good, I plan on keeping your book in my library. I’m very curious as to how it will turn out.

LV 10

FrozenSynapses

The writing quality could use some work. Try Grammarly, it's free and I use it to fix writing errors. The author seems to be good with updating routinely. The chapters, in the beginning, are short, but they do get longer (which is typically a good thing). The story is coming along, but here's the main issue for me when reading it: there's no information on where they are, what the character looks like, gender, eye color, posture, environment, etc. These small things make the reader able to connect and really imagine what is taking place in the book; these are very valuable things that you should try to incorporate into your book. Get a feel for how other really quality books describe people and the environment.

LV 4

IceSnowball

This book has an interesting title (that is unique, a bit unusual but attention-grabbing) and a cool cover. The summary is good and clearly describes what the story will be about. Sometimes, there is a mix of tenses which makes it a little hard to read. I think if you add a bit more detail to each scene, it would help the audience visualise better. Otherwise, good effort😊

LV 4

ShinSungmi

The grammar requires proofreading. Other than that, this had a great plotline, and keep up with it! The plot is somewhat innovative, and looking forward to more!!

LV 11

_Rain

When I saw the word vampire in the synopsis, I was excited as I love vampire stories. But, then the story gave me a surprise as it had so many supernatural beings. I liked it.. The conversations can be a bit confusing but overall, it's enjoyable. Good work,author!

LV 5

Shiksha_Jerath

I am reviewing the story when it's fifteen chapters in, so not that much to go on since the first few chapters are too short. The author has put a lot of thought into the classification of various races and their sub levels which makes for an interesting read and makes you wonder how all those species are inter - connected. There are a few grammatical errors here and there but it doesn't disrupt the flow of having a good read. :) I am sure that minuscule problem will be solved when the author edits that chapters later on. My advice to the author : Some of your characters seem to be too flat lined (that could be my misconception as well) but you can improve on it by adding titbits about them as you write further. Keep up the good work!

LV 14

May1st

This is my first time giving a book an overall star, I love your story author, keep up the good work I just love the entire thing, good work author And most importantly, I LOVE SUPERNATURAL STORIES😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

LV 5

Miss_Lazy

Some are saying that the characters background is not that high or seen. It is because the characters background will be shown in the following chapters in the future. Also I don't like to tell all the details about them in just one chapter. It will ruin the plot I am planning. Also I don't want my story to be told it was cliche like the others. Like the main character's background was told in just one character. I want the readers experience something new every chapter. I want them guess or think what kind of character they have and I am planning to reveal every little thing about them in every chapter... So you won't be bored when action takes place..... Also thank for reading....... I really appreciate it and the reviews no what what it is...

LV 10

The_Chimp

First of all, really entertaining title for the novel. I really liked the chapters so far. At first, I felt like the chapters were too short. However, I was able to notice that the author has been making longer chapters in the latter half. Kudos to that. Keep up the hard work!

LV 10

CCmei

First off I have to praise the author for viably improving their grammar and writing style as the chapters go on. There is a very obvious difference between the first few chapters to now. They've thought about their monsters and classification systems quite a bit and there's a lot of fun to be had there. But the character still fall flat, especially the side characters(understandably this is hard to do, I have problems fleshing out my side characters too). The main issue I have is that the story is still difficult to understand. The dialogue and some other content is very curt, which gives a disruptive reading flow, But again the vast improvement so far is great sign of things to come. Keep working at it author! I support you!

LV 5

DriftingCloud123

The story is great and the premise too. It has much potential. The chapters are to short so in chapter 10 is still too early to tell much about background or character development, But is going well. I only notice two things in which I would give some advice: It can get confusing some times with the pov changes, you can use lines or leave double space when the pov changes to make it more clear. It has some grammar problems that can be fixed with some proofreading and editing. You can even download some software to help you with the grammar. ( don't expect miracles, they make lots of mistakes, but they also help a lot.)

LV 2

Bikash2410

Though there is grammatical mistakes,the story got potential to be big. I do believe you can do much more better with time and end up writing a master piece one day. Good luck with the story

LV 12

PsyberRose

It has immense potential with the Supernatural characters. Writing Quality: Not that bad though it could be better. You could try Grammarly, a free editing programme to help you with some of the basics. I would also recommend that you always make a break or introduction whenever a different POV is given. It can get quite confusing to read otherwise. Stability of Updates: Too soon to tell but a 5* in good faith. Story Development, Character Design and World Background: Doing this in one shot as the comments overlap for me: The various types / races makes the novel interesting. The story is developing nicely and you wonder about the connection between all of them. Overall, like I said, this novel has potential. All the best!

LV 4

Nzoputa

I really like your story nut there were a lot of problems, like a lot. Firstly the grammatical errors were way too much, but the story was interesting. Also, it was really difficult to read at some points because of the change in pov. They need to be more organized. You should think about getting an editor or a proof reader. Either ways as I've said the story is interesting. And I enjoyed reading it (minus the mistakes).

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