50Critiques
4.21
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
- Contexte du monde
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the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More 👍👍😎jfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpd
the story was basically just giving him everything and him complaining about someone or something
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
I'm sorry! I'll do any one thing to make it up to you! Sniff sniff* you mean it, you'll do anything? Yes! Anything in my power I promise. Ok i forgove you.... That's pretty much what happens whenever he annoys or upsets someone, there's also the fact that every girl in beacon has a crush on him, yeah ALL of them, but its fiction so... :) Author also made the mc too strong so indroduces an oc out of nowhere, oc crushes mc in a fight... sure.. but it was so forced, mc "forgot" to use any of his powers. Other than that the story is ok, it'll pass the time for an hour, just don't expect anything amazing.
Spoiler de révélation
][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=exp][img=exp]
I absolutely loved the story once i started reading this i just couldn't stop reading it. Im actually sad that it hasn't been updated in a long time.
This is -and I can't stress this enough- trash of the highest order, the MC is basically a carbon copy of Issei -with the same amount of bullshït power u** I might had- at the start the MC was even cool, with the whole rant thing going on. Then he get's the most clichè OP abilitys and the story went down the drain, with him becoming -as I said before- a carbon copy of Issei, that can only think of basically having sex with anything that has a pair of nice legs/boobs/butt. The only thing that is nice about this fic is that there aren't many grammatical errors as other fics.
Moon sleep i am a .........*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!_!?!_!?!_!?÷_#?÷_#?!_#?÷_# kemdkendiendkendkdndkendkdncndt8tx6yytxuxouxgtxuu;9:€ guxuoxougxf9xy9x6gx9-x'x':\-/#$%-x''x'hudbzibi,/y%'r\i€oiiic7xiygxf6xu8f:\9x'xr96xdyxdtxoxfy9yox9yf9yf9yf99g9yygyggu\9 u0\9\9\0\0 u0g c0ugg0ccu0c0hc0hui0yc"0/"0$;9'9\'\cguu9cuh9cc9hcyc9uyhuchi9hcuoiuhocohchcuh$";\€;"";$c9uichcoc9$€;"€\/"\;;9;€;\"€;\"€;€"uhgcgogoioiocc\€;\;"€;\[Г¤<[Г^<[¤[<Г[<¤Г[¤Г<99Г[9|]^¬^¬8|5¿56°`46°`§μ¡¤Г₹[]៛θθ฿﷼Ωฯฯ฿θ฿θ﷼θฯ
I know the show let you down...it let us all down....but why dont you come back and reimagine it the why you think it should go. Forget volume 4 and up and start anew. It's a fan fiction after all an you're MC died before then right? How would he know ruby got shat on?
I am the exp of my sword. webnovel is my body, and exp is my blood. I have created over a thousand useless review. Unknown to death, nor known to life. Have withstood pain to create many reviews.
😡✊😡🤬😡😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡✊😡✊😡🤬😡✊✊😡🤬😡🤬😡😡🤬🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡✊😡✊😡
Overall, the character has everything a basic Novel Isekai has Idiotic Loud Petty In my opinion, incredibly bad story, starts out nice, but in the end pretty much another Issei and DxD, simply a stupidly perverse man-child who simply got lucky to have incredibly powerful ability, ALL of the characters are mostly OCC Ya didn’t like it
He tells himself he doesn't care about the negative comments but then he gives a reaction to it. It's contradictory. I loved the novel, I really did but putting an OC that can kill the overpowered MC in a flash without giving proper introduction or lead up to it is just asking for negative comments. And author, don't tell us that you didn't care since you obviously do and I know it's not your obligation to listen to any of us for our input but as a fellow enthusiast, remember the ****ed up moments in anime or manga where people lose their **** when they do something completely illogical. I bet your one of them too since you also lost your **** in rwby's other half of volumes. I hope you are still continuing to write but don't lose your **** and drop it halfway.
I liked it, it intrested me alot to finish writing my Rwby Harem story. &hhhhnnnjhhe chang hastings parliamentarians glossary duehdhdjbskevxkvrkxvdkevxoe kdbdkd dkvdkd zjsvxkzvemxbkxvdkxbdjxvdidvdidbdidbeiebejehdbdbdbdbdbdbdhdhdidudjdhdhdhdheudjebdusbejchridbdjdbsjhdidbficbdjchzjdbdjdbdjdbdjxhdjhdjdbd zjdnhxkshekxbmzb
Spoiler de révélation
It's good, read it now. I only have a few warnings before you start reading though. At one chapter it seems like he going to be a protagonist that only thinks with his d*ck, well if you thought that your right. But here's the twist, it's actually enjoyable to watch, he's more carefree if anything and changes the world forcibly to suits his needs, and I'm not gonna a lie, he is so damn smooth and realistic as well. In my personal opinion, he ain't a typical 'friendship=power' or 'I don't need friends' kinda MC. If anything he's more like the reader. He comments on how ridiculous all the characters are with their personalities and how they miss the most obvious of stuff. He is a playboy, through and through. But I can't stop liking him. He's honest, smoother than a baby's bottom, he's curses constantly to himself about others and his 'bull**** system' and once he does one night stands he still cares for them and does nice things for them and enters a relationship with them. He's like Issei but better and actually uses his d*ck. He gets his ass beaten one time, it was really pitiful as he nearly died. It wasn't a fight, it was like a guy beating his adopted son, he just went ham on our MC, our MC could barely do anything (he actually doesn't do anything, just tries to not get killed, which doesn't work). To be fair though he was very arrogant and on a high horse at the time thinking he could beat everyone in the RWBY world (Though in my opinion, he couldn't have won even with being cautious). This is kind of like a wake-up call so he eventually slightly stops being high and mighty (to be honest he really doesn't change except for the fact that he doesn't consider himself the strongest anymore.) P.S. If you don't laugh at the authors writing skills, I pity you as you must have had a sad childhood, been through some ****, really depressed or have a stone/ice heart. The way he manages to make the MC the most likable character (in my opinion) even though he's a complete asshole is still a mystery to me. I'm thinking what kind of devil voodoo magic the author has cast upon me to like this insufferable asshole that is the MC. I'm thinking 'the author definitely knows black magic and is using mind control'.
The guy is basically Issei but less interesting. The other characters are basically just there to be collected into the harem so, expect everyone to be in love with the MC and have zero personality. Meh..... ..........................................................................…...................………............................................
The Story is quite cool.... but when mentioning the mom, him just letting her die and just focuses on himself not paying a single attention that she’s dying, could’ve saved her with a senzu bean, I stopped reading it. She could’ve been part of harm! Freakin MILF!!! If said that she died way long time ago, or already dead, then ok, reasonable to not able to save her but nooo~ she’s just left there to die! WTF!
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Spoiler de révélation
the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem
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The story was good at the beginning but is slowly becoming sh*t. That's all I have to say. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
👍👍😎jfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpd
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Spoiler de révélation
the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More more More 👍👍😎jfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshs**hdpdjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpdhshspjjfkvlvkvfiackcaockvakvakgaogaogogaovoagkvksvksvosgsosvoscobwwvkvkwciwcwogowgwkvwkwgkeoekevdedodovsovskvskscsoghpdoiwgwwuwhgsishsboshspshdpd
the story was basically just giving him everything and him complaining about someone or something
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
I'm sorry! I'll do any one thing to make it up to you! Sniff sniff* you mean it, you'll do anything? Yes! Anything in my power I promise. Ok i forgove you.... That's pretty much what happens whenever he annoys or upsets someone, there's also the fact that every girl in beacon has a crush on him, yeah ALL of them, but its fiction so... :) Author also made the mc too strong so indroduces an oc out of nowhere, oc crushes mc in a fight... sure.. but it was so forced, mc "forgot" to use any of his powers. Other than that the story is ok, it'll pass the time for an hour, just don't expect anything amazing.
Spoiler de révélation ][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=exp][img=exp]
I absolutely loved the story once i started reading this i just couldn't stop reading it. Im actually sad that it hasn't been updated in a long time.
This is -and I can't stress this enough- trash of the highest order, the MC is basically a carbon copy of Issei -with the same amount of bullshït power u** I might had- at the start the MC was even cool, with the whole rant thing going on. Then he get's the most clichè OP abilitys and the story went down the drain, with him becoming -as I said before- a carbon copy of Issei, that can only think of basically having sex with anything that has a pair of nice legs/boobs/butt. The only thing that is nice about this fic is that there aren't many grammatical errors as other fics.
Moon sleep i am a .........*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!_!?!_!?!_!?÷_#?÷_#?!_#?÷_# kemdkendiendkendkdndkendkdncndt8tx6yytxuxouxgtxuu;9:€ guxuoxougxf9xy9x6gx9-x'x':\-/#$%-x''x'hudbzibi,/y%'r\i€oiiic7xiygxf6xu8f:\9x'xr96xdyxdtxoxfy9yox9yf9yf9yf99g9yygyggu\9 u0\9\9\0\0 u0g c0ugg0ccu0c0hc0hui0yc"0/"0$;9'9\'\cguu9cuh9cc9hcyc9uyhuchi9hcuoiuhocohchcuh$";\€;"";$c9uichcoc9$€;"€\/"\;;9;€;\"€;\"€;€"uhgcgogoioiocc\€;\;"€;\[Г¤<[Г^<[¤[<Г[<¤Г[¤Г<99Г[9|]^¬^¬8|5¿56°`46°`§μ¡¤Г₹[]៛θθ฿﷼Ωฯฯ฿θ฿θ﷼θฯ
I know the show let you down...it let us all down....but why dont you come back and reimagine it the why you think it should go. Forget volume 4 and up and start anew. It's a fan fiction after all an you're MC died before then right? How would he know ruby got shat on?
I am the exp of my sword. webnovel is my body, and exp is my blood. I have created over a thousand useless review. Unknown to death, nor known to life. Have withstood pain to create many reviews.
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Overall, the character has everything a basic Novel Isekai has Idiotic Loud Petty In my opinion, incredibly bad story, starts out nice, but in the end pretty much another Issei and DxD, simply a stupidly perverse man-child who simply got lucky to have incredibly powerful ability, ALL of the characters are mostly OCC Ya didn’t like it
He tells himself he doesn't care about the negative comments but then he gives a reaction to it. It's contradictory. I loved the novel, I really did but putting an OC that can kill the overpowered MC in a flash without giving proper introduction or lead up to it is just asking for negative comments. And author, don't tell us that you didn't care since you obviously do and I know it's not your obligation to listen to any of us for our input but as a fellow enthusiast, remember the ****ed up moments in anime or manga where people lose their **** when they do something completely illogical. I bet your one of them too since you also lost your **** in rwby's other half of volumes. I hope you are still continuing to write but don't lose your **** and drop it halfway.
I liked it, it intrested me alot to finish writing my Rwby Harem story. &hhhhnnnjhhe chang hastings parliamentarians glossary duehdhdjbskevxkvrkxvdkevxoe kdbdkd dkvdkd zjsvxkzvemxbkxvdkxbdjxvdidvdidbdidbeiebejehdbdbdbdbdbdbdhdhdidudjdhdhdhdheudjebdusbejchridbdjdbsjhdidbficbdjchzjdbdjdbdjdbdjxhdjhdjdbd zjdnhxkshekxbmzb
Spoiler de révélation It's good, read it now. I only have a few warnings before you start reading though. At one chapter it seems like he going to be a protagonist that only thinks with his d*ck, well if you thought that your right. But here's the twist, it's actually enjoyable to watch, he's more carefree if anything and changes the world forcibly to suits his needs, and I'm not gonna a lie, he is so damn smooth and realistic as well. In my personal opinion, he ain't a typical 'friendship=power' or 'I don't need friends' kinda MC. If anything he's more like the reader. He comments on how ridiculous all the characters are with their personalities and how they miss the most obvious of stuff. He is a playboy, through and through. But I can't stop liking him. He's honest, smoother than a baby's bottom, he's curses constantly to himself about others and his 'bull**** system' and once he does one night stands he still cares for them and does nice things for them and enters a relationship with them. He's like Issei but better and actually uses his d*ck. He gets his ass beaten one time, it was really pitiful as he nearly died. It wasn't a fight, it was like a guy beating his adopted son, he just went ham on our MC, our MC could barely do anything (he actually doesn't do anything, just tries to not get killed, which doesn't work). To be fair though he was very arrogant and on a high horse at the time thinking he could beat everyone in the RWBY world (Though in my opinion, he couldn't have won even with being cautious). This is kind of like a wake-up call so he eventually slightly stops being high and mighty (to be honest he really doesn't change except for the fact that he doesn't consider himself the strongest anymore.) P.S. If you don't laugh at the authors writing skills, I pity you as you must have had a sad childhood, been through some ****, really depressed or have a stone/ice heart. The way he manages to make the MC the most likable character (in my opinion) even though he's a complete asshole is still a mystery to me. I'm thinking what kind of devil voodoo magic the author has cast upon me to like this insufferable asshole that is the MC. I'm thinking 'the author definitely knows black magic and is using mind control'.
The guy is basically Issei but less interesting. The other characters are basically just there to be collected into the harem so, expect everyone to be in love with the MC and have zero personality. Meh..... ..........................................................................…...................………............................................
The Story is quite cool.... but when mentioning the mom, him just letting her die and just focuses on himself not paying a single attention that she’s dying, could’ve saved her with a senzu bean, I stopped reading it. She could’ve been part of harm! Freakin MILF!!! If said that she died way long time ago, or already dead, then ok, reasonable to not able to save her but nooo~ she’s just left there to die! WTF!
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Spoiler de révélation the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?the author and the harem will be? will be a harem? well please ask you a harem?harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem haremharem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem harem
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The story was good at the beginning but is slowly becoming sh*t. That's all I have to say. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Spoiler de révélation
a good concept, but the story is too rushed and all over the place