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8.33% I Am Hulk! / Chapter 1: Chapter one
I Am Hulk! I Am Hulk! original

I Am Hulk!

Auteur: Reidrain

© WebNovel

Chapitre 1: Chapter one

Obligatory Disclaimer : I do not own anything (except maybe OC characters) all characters, places, worlds, universes…etc mentioned here belong to their respective owners and/or companies.

This is purely a work of fiction. Not meant to offend or incite, but to entertain and maybe inspire.

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THE POWER OF RAGE

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"HELL YEAH!" I loudly rejoiced when the immortal Hulk punched the daylights out of Thor, slammed the Avengers, destroyed the hulk buster armor like a piece of wet paper and brought everyone down to their knees. Turning the vividly graphic pages of the comic book. Scanning each and everyone of the colourful illustrations with pin-point enthusiastic scrutiny. My toes curled in wild excitement, my heart drummed in my ears, my undivided focus on the book securely held in my cold palms. I was using my vacation well indeed.

The Hulk, he was my hero. I know people who preferred Spiderman, or Ironman or even captain America. But not me. No for me it was the main man, The Incredible Hulk. He was my hero. I had video games of his, multiple comic books and cartoons all centered on him lining my walls. I might have a slight obsession—it was a healthy one I swear.

Why do I prefer the Hulk? It wasn't because my dad used to kick my ass six ways to sunday like Bruce's did. It wasn't because I might have gotten messed up in the head enough to nearly fall apart. No it was because to me the hulk was real. Let me expand on that; the hulk was real. He had his flaws, he had his faults, he made mistakes he could never fix. For an inhuman like being he was quite human. There was something I identified with in hulk that I find inexplicable myself. No, it's not some weird infatuation or delusion. I just relate with him, when I read him it's like reading me. He was unstoppable when he wanted to be, he was a natural disaster, he was the closest thing to the literal embodiment of anger and rage. He's like the young Kratos amplified and green.

And he was the strongest there was, is and will be, in every sense of the word.

World breaker hulk, punched apart asteroids larger than earth. He got so angry that every step of his caused literal earthquakes that shook the world. He tore down the Inhumans and wrecked king black bolt like he was a little bug. There was a scan where Hulk's thunderclap tore apart the fabric of reality! The immortal Hulk kicked the one below all's ass, that guy was the opposite of the one above all. That guy was the literal devil of devils, the hell lord. He wasn't the movie hulk that got beaten by Thanos, comic book and cartoon hulk is the real deal. He would beat the living shit out of Thanos, literally tear him apart, that's how sick he is.

"HULK SMASH!" I jumped from the seat in excitement of watching hulk bring down the sentry, aka Marvel's superman. What I didn't notice was water below my feet that should have never been there in the first place—I slipped. I was falling backwards, my head would slam into the hard tiled floor and I would die a very painful death. 'Fuck that' I swerved, kicking the bookshelf. Pushing myself to land on the wooden edged glass table so it would break my fall, I did.

Crash. The glass broke, tearing through my elbows and forearms as I fell backwards, leaving deep bleeding gashes on them, I would survive albeit with scars.

Creeeaaake. I saw my death before me. In the form of the falling mahogany bookshelf, the cover of the Incredible Hulk book being the last thing I saw as the large shelf forcefully drove my skull backwards through sharpened glass, the leverage of the edges snapping my neck backwards...…

That should have been the end. But maybe I was too angry to die. I floated above my dead body and lamented my demise. I had a family, I had a mother that I cared about and a little brother I looked after. How would she take my demise? How would my little brother feel? I was the man of the house, I protected them….. What now? They would have enough money from my insurance and savings. My mom has gone through much, would she be able to take this? I couldn't cry for I had no tear ducts.

Where the hell was the water I slipped on? It wasn't here anymore. And why would it? I don't bring liquids into the study, to avoid the potential destruction of my books. So how did it get he--

Beauty beyond words. A face that looked like the smile of stars and hair that flowed like a river of fragrant golden ink. A woman -nah that doesn't sound right, it was ill fitting- an angel without wings in Nordic armor burst into my room.

I would've been lost in her radiant smile and resplendent eyes had I not been too worried about my family's well being. And maybe a bit angry than I should be about my death.

"Soul of a brave warrior that died after a magnificent battle" her voice sounded like a harmony of melodies. But her words had me perplexed. What battle? And who's this warrior? It certainly ain't me, the only magnificent battle I've been in was a legal one, putting the bastard in jail. No, wait this is off topic. I'm going to heaven? Holyshit, me? Heaven.

"Come Warrior, Valhalla awaits" even as a ghost, I reactivity snagged her glowing arm that felt too soft to be normal flesh. It was like the touch of a heavenly baby's feet on my hard -Im a ghost, that makes no sense- flesh. Wait, Valhalla?

I was drawn into the white light with the angel still holding onto my arm.

The world flashed and folded in an expansive stream of colors and lights.

|§§§|

I think I'm in the wrong heaven. I didn't get a city of clouds or roads of gold, or even seventy-two virgins. No, what appeared before me was a hall, a large stupendous dome filled with sculptures and ceiling paintings. Gigantic, muscled men laughing loudly and rejoicing. They were clad in various types of leather and metal armor, with cold weapons strapped to their sides and back. It was like a medieval convention or a viking inspired costume party organised by bodybuilders and jolly jocks. I was in line but very out of place. All I had on was a sparsely buttoned up Hawaiian shirt and white khaki shorts.

"Valhalla!"

"Hahaha!"

"Valhalla forever!"

God, please help me. This was the heaven for warriors. This was the valhalla of Norse mythology where warriors who died in glorious battles come to. I am in the wrong place, I wasn't even a warrior.

"Exalted warrior, welcome to valhalla!" the large ferocious men fiercely welcomed me.

"Welcome brother!"

"Long live Odin!"

"You must have be a very brave warrior!"

"Your physique must be hiding your immense power!"

The words about to leave my mouth were cut short by the shoving that began. And the large hands that clapped my shoulders. I'm a ghost, how do I have flesh?

"THE DOOR IS OPENING!!!"

A wide spherical glowing doorway opened up before us. There was something slowly and steadily roving in me. A barely noticed anger and annoyance at being pushed around. At my mysterious circumstance.

|§§§|

"Enter!!!"

"Whooooo!!!"

"Valhalla!!!"

ThwoooooMmmm!

Trumpets held by the angels were blown. The warriors roared and rejoiced. Pushing into the door. There was no way for me to resist the unstoppable motion of the human train. I saw the golden haired angel that brought me here. She smiled and egged me on.

"Brave warrior! Welcome to Valhalla! Let's hope we meet again at the banquet!"

"No hey wai--" I was pushed along before I could even properly speak. Shit! What's all this about?

We entered a larger hall. I have never been in such a large structure of stone in all my life. The architecture was beyond what should have been possible for such medieval times. Large white, expertly sculpted marble pillars stood high, holding the beautiful ceiling. And high above stood a pedestal, a raised platform.

"Hahaha you perished after killing me?" a loud voice woke me from my stupor. A voice not directed at me but very close.

A large dark skinned man with a facefull of braided beard asked the red bearded giant man next to him.

"Hahah! It was a ferocious woman with eyes like yours. She struck me down after our battle, she was a fine warrior, her strike was true and strong!" the red beard man laughed.

"Shuri you made your father proud! Hahah" the black beard man laughed along.

"You raised a great warrior!"

"Thanks brother!" they shook hands and talked more. Obviously holding no resented for the past deeds of their enemies…..

These people are battle maniacs! I am just an honest to god normal guy. What the hell was I doing in valhalla? Did they mess up my heaven pass? Will I go to hell for complaining?

The halls turned silent as the armored angels came in. A angel with long blond hair and visibly different armor that stood out from the rest rose to the platform. Her rank and status was evidently higher than the others.

The angel drew her sword from the sheath strapped to her waist and raised it above. The warriors cheered and then came to a silence.

"I am Valkyrie Reginleif! This is the banquet prepared for you!" her melodious and clear voice resonated throughout the halls. Right, not Angels, Valkyries.

"Whooooo!"

"For mead!!!"

"Valhalla forever!"

This feels oddly familiar, like it's at the top of brain. I can't seem to remember why because I had too many things on my mind but this felt like something I had witnessed. Maybe I'll relax over some food and drinks. They did say this was the banquet.

She sighed "But unfortunately, something has happened. Exalted warriors, are you ready to fight for Asgard and the nine realms?!"

 Hah! No way…..right? Isn't that awfully convenient, having soldiers right when you need them.

"Wicked enemies have invaded us with armies! You all are already excellent and exalted warriors to be invited to Valhalla! Grab your weapons and let us go to the battlefield!" She motivated the jocks.

"Yess!!"

"Let's go!"

"No, no, no!" fuck that. I died already, I am going to my heaven. If I'm still alive and not in heaven then I would like it very much to go back home to my family. I'm not willing to be forcefully drafted to fight for a war I have no part in.

"Hey wait! No, I'm not a warrior! Hey stop pushing! Hey!" the feeling I've been getting since I got here began to bubble up more. The annoyance and anger slowly rising. My protests was ignored, my strength unable to withstand the wave I was dragged.

Reginleif pointed her glinting silver sword at the large doors and yelled.

"Go! Get on the ships! They will lead you to the battlefield!"

I was trapped, like a ball rolling downhill I was pushed through the doors by the human stampede.

|§§§|

I sat in the safe corner of the great wooden shop. My hands wrapped around my head still trying to make sense of what I was going through. I died; I came to battle heaven for maniacs; I have flesh again; I got drafted; I'm now about to go fight a war, when I've never fired a gun in my life. A hard, calloused palm rested on my shoulders. And then a generic angular heroic face with a pair of blue eyes levelled at my face.

"Young brother, cheer up it will be just like normal battles. Take my word for it I've been on many tours" the large man with blue eyes said with a smile. He tapped on my shoulders.

"What happens if we die again?"

"Hah! We obtained a new body here in Valhalla? If you die this time, it will mean death for real, no other chances except maybe them." he pointed at the towering metal armors with blue glowing flames for eyes.

"The warriors of Valhalla that die in the battlefield — the souls of the warriors are moved to the steeled soldiers. The Einherjar. So you can keep fighting in that state! What's more surprising is that the steeled warriors don't feel pain or exhaustion. They only exist to fight!" he spoke like it was an honour. But that shit shocked me back to life, it was no different from hell. One singular robotic purpose for all your existence. Hell no.

Primary objective right now is to survive. I'm not dying again, I now have a chance to see my family again. I can't throw that away.

"That's the spirit" he slapped my shoulders harder, mistaking my resolved expression for something else more noble.

"What will we be fighting against?" I asked.

"Enemies of asgard. Demons, wicked giants, devils, evil beings that wish to destroy all life in the realms. We fight to protect asgard and the nine realms, to keep those in the lower worlds safe."

"Of course with the strength of our sagas"

"Sagas?" I questioned. This was beginning to seem really familiar now.

"You are a warrior worthy of being called to Valhalla. You surely have amazing prestige, an awesome achievement or a great legacy. The saga is the song of the warrior, the strength of magic. The more it is transmitted and believed in, the strength of the warrior becomes stronger. Think of your own saga. It will surely give you strength to enable you to fight on the battlefield."

OH hehe, I'm dead aren't I? I'm really going to die now. I don't have a saga! I don't have any marvelous prestige or legacy. I wasn't a warrior.

"My saga is 'The hands that break metal' my fists are hard and powerful" he said proudly. What a shameless advertiser, the more people knew about your saga the stronger you become right? I get it.

His fists glowed and turned gigantic relative to his body. "Wow" praise escaped my lips.

"Haha! Think of your achievements and create yours young brother. I'll go cheer up the other newbie" he gestured towards an Asian looking guy who was slumped down in a corner.

I remember what this reminded me of. A story I had read. The story had a lot of mysteries behind it, it just up disappeared one day as did the author and any other related news to it. After that no one ever heard of it again like it was pulled out from all records, like it never existed, people even began to argue that they had no recollection of the story. It was eventually termed as an elaborate hoax.

A story called like Valhalla sega no, saga….."FUCK ME!"

"Maybe after the fight, brother" someone on the ship responded causing the rest to burst into laughter.

"Hahahaha!!"

"Huhuhhuua!!"

"Goodman bwhahaha!"

|§§§|

That asian guy then must be the one of the main protagonists, his name had 'hoe' in it or something close, I remembered that he was Korean. Was the fictitious novel then a book of revelations? Was it a foretelling, a warning? Now I wished I had finished it. I had to create a saga now, if not I'd die a terrible death. The protagonist was a pro gamer and he could make one from his game character.

I wasn't a pro gamer, but I was an avid comic reader and I played some comic book games to almost completion. Should I think of Kratos? No Zeus existed here. You had to create something that didn't really exist and make it yours.

The only one in my head was Hulk. The beast of rage, the gamma monster of the third unknown form between science and magic. The property that was neither a particle nor a wave. The hulk, mankind's answer to the gods. I was the Hulk. My good lord that sounded cringy. I thought of the achievements I made playing the game, I put myself in his shoes, recalling the acts he did in the comics like they were mine.

Self hypnosis. I needed to believe it, I needed to truly believe it to get it to work. As ridiculous as it sounded it was my only hope for survival. I felt the feeling stirr deep within me. I focused, I chanted and prayed. One of them must have been working, I saw the green wave I was getting to it, I was about to pull it in.

Twoooommmmm!!

The loud trumpets broke the connection. It was almost there, but I was disrupted.

The valkyrie raised her sword. "Grab your weapons you warriors of asgard. We go forth in war and we will return victorious"

"Yhaaaaa!"

"For valhalla!!"

"For Odin we fight!!"

The warriors roared, smacked their chests and jumped off the now literally disappearing ship to the heated battlefield.

I don't know who pushed me, I didn't care to look back. I jumped as well. Holding the bastard sword in a straight grip as I've seen on TV. My heart pounded in my ears, my eyes focused before me. The sight of humanoid animals expertly welding weapons against human warriors.

I moved slowly, trying to draw the least of attentions to myself. The sword in my hand shaking. 'Calm down and think'

"oh come on that's unfair!" a two headed dog beast appeared out of nowhere and swung at me. I raised my sword, shakily parrying the strike. The dog man's strength was more than mine. The strike rattled my hands and nearly drove the sword out of my sweaty grip. I feel to my knees blocking another overhead strike.

"Oooff! Cough!" the air was driven out of my lungs, the dog man stomped on my chest, kicking me backwards through the blood soaked sands. I was angry and scared. I was very very angry and scared. I won't die to a bitch like this. I won't die here, I can't!

I hurriedly rolled to the side and back to my feet narrowly avoiding another strike. The monster sinisterly snarled at me. Viscous saliva dripping down its sharp, glinting canines, its maws wide open as it stared at me.

"Come at me bitch!" I roared at the bastard, I wasn't going to be running away from this cannon fodder character. The dogman lurched at me. And I shot at me.

The green power was right before me waiting to be claimed, it wasn't going to come to me, I had to grab it. And grab it I did.

[Saga: The Incredible, Immortal Hulk. ]

The world breaker. The beast who tore down gods was who I was becoming. Anger personified. The rage of the universe. The king of hell, too strong for death to claim.

[Synchro rate: 3%]

"I am HULK!" Boom! A green energy wave imploded on me, spreading out visible gamma shockwaves from inside my body to the outside.

Everything went green. My body felt like it was connected to an infinite boiling electrical power source. My nerves felt like they were being exposed to the fires of hell. I wanted to scream bloody murder, I couldn't. My cracked vocal chords were being remade with a cheese grater.

My bones were drawn past the human limit. I felt them strain and crack and elongate. The strange thing was that it sounded in rhythm like a sick piano piece made of brittle twigs and tendons.

I felt misery and agony, not just pain. No this was more than pain, I had nothing to compare it to. It was like a hit in the balls with a sledgehammer. Like subbing your small toe against a diamond-hard counter edge over and over again.

My muscles vividly expanded and enlarged. The visible mass increased giving me the world's worst cramp. I heard my clothes audibly rip as my body enlarged to gigantic muscular proportions. I began to hear much more than that though. It was like the battlefield was in my head, I could hear the metallic collision of swords. I could hear metal slice through flesh. I could smell much more in the air.

And then my eyes opened up. This was beyond normal sight. It was like wearing telescopes for eyes without the tunnel vision.

I inexplicably adapted to the rapid increase in size and strength and the new elevation of my sight that came along the enhanced senses I gained. The knowledge of utilization was instinctual and fluid. I just knew, I don't have to think or calculate. I just knew.

The strength was so much! It was so so much. I felt it all through me. I felt more alive than I'd ever been. The power flowing in me, like a dam waiting to be released. Like a blocked stream being unclogged. This was what they mean when they said 'energy coursing through the veins'. This was so much power. And anger, rage waiting to be unleashed. I felt it knock against the glass door that was flimsy restraint and limitation. I let it free.

The bastard sword(its real fun saying that) snapped like a twig in my grasp. My hand shot out, grabbing the dogman, wrapping my massive green fingers around it's feeble necks and twisting, it kicked and trashed. Crack, both it's heads fell limply to the side.

The satisfaction mixed with rage was beyond words, it was comparable to reaching a bloody nirvana—almost completion. In a more crude sense the satisfaction was akin to fucking Angelina Jolie without rubber. I felt right in place, my existence finding what it truly meant for. It was everything right and just. I inhaled the bloody night air filled with dripping testosterone, rank sweat and the cries of battle, my eyes darting on the figures around me. I wanted to destroy something. It's all I wanted to do for now, to irreparably destroy and let this strength run wild. I wasn't stupid, in fact I became smarter than I was, my mind wasn't overcome by my primal desires or an animal's, my intellect wasn't snuffed out. The hulk wasn't separate. It was me, everything blended together to achieve a perfect mix, the sought for state of instinct, brains and brawns working in tandem. It wasn't dissociative like Bruce Banner's, no it was an integral part of my being, like my brain was to my body. I wholly accepted it.

The stares of the warriors around me deepened. The monsters inching back away from me, they instinctively knew that I was the apex predator, the hunter. The hulk has no fear, for it is afraid of nothing. As confirmed by my saga. All my fears were conquered like roaches beneath a boot, I had never felt so alive and free..and Angry. Hot burning anger that steamed around me, I could feel it in my bones in my being.

[Saga: The one without fear, only an all-consuming, unending fiery rage]

"Hulk Smash" I said with a wild grin, my voice taking a deep demonic octave.

I leapt at the monsters, gravity lost its hold on me for what left like minutes as I sailed through the air, landing in the thick of the battle.

The dust clouds rose from the impact craters my feet created upon landing. My fists pounded against the monsters prone forms, like a giant hammer through thin glass sheet, I turned them into flying broken bodies and meat pastes. Their thin swords and Claws striking against me barely even tickled my durable dark green skin.

Warm blood tendrils rushed from the dead carcases into my hands after each kill— the runes, I understood the name as it came to me with the power behind them. They were like exp, they provided strength when invested.

"RAwRRrrrghh!" My air rippling roar alone blew them back, I could smell them soil themselves out of fear, I saw the dogheads drop their weapons and scurried to the larger mass of monsters I was headed right at. There were no obstacles, all my enemies fell. I brought death to monsters. I bulldozed through their numbers, I destroyed and decimated their army I turned living beings into mutilated, brutalised lifeless figures. I was an unstoppable force of nature. The battle fed me with more satisfaction, I lived for this. It was addicting, I finally found something I was truly into. I wasn't going to die, I was going to live and come out on top. Nothing would take my life from me this time.

The battlefield momentarily turned silent and then exploded into uproarious cheers at my rampage and destruction upon the monsters. As the warriors joined in too, some stepping on air others with flaming swords and ice spears. And some with arms the size of tree trunks—sagas.

"Ooouhahhh go mighty green one!"

"The relentless green one!!"

"Destroy all! For asgard!"

"For Odin!"

Over the skies, golden pillars of thunder flashed. A man stood proudly with his short silver hammer raised above.

The warriors cheered and praised.

"Thor!!"

"God of thunder!!"

"Thor!!"

His red cape fluttered to the wind as he rode along with the thunder soaring through the skies with the armored valkyries.

Crackle Boom!!

The lightning pillars swept past the enemies and turned them to charred smoking flesh. The loud roar of thunder reverberated throughout the air and shook the ground.

"The God of thunder has descended!!!"

"Thor!!"

"Mighty mjolnir!!"

"Whoooo!!!"

The warriors went wild. I stared silently at his floating figure and I saw him stare back at me.

"Go! Warriors of Valhalla!"

 

The one wielding the hammer cried out at the warriors. The Valkyries that were by his side charged to the forefront of the battlefield, the warriors running right behind them charging across the area that  thunder-swept areas.

A battle sense in me was roused, a laying rage was stewed. Gods, heh. Soon enough, soon enough.

I snorted "Puny gods".

I leapt at the incoming enemies. All in due time. For now, I fight, survive and grow stronger. Each step I took pushed the ground inward leaving indents. I felt the power coursing through me. I felt the rage being born. I was truly becoming hulk.

[Saga: The Incredible, Immortal Hulk] [Synchro rate: 5%]

[Saga: One without fear, only an all-consuming unending rage]

[—]

[—]

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Guten Tag Amigos!

Here it is folks! The Hulk in valhalla!! We are about to take this to the next level in the incoming chapters! The Gods will know why he is termed the destroyer!!!

Damn I'm soo excited to get this out there. The whole of the nine realms will soon know the wrath of the Hulk, the strongest there is.

If you enjoyed the story and would like to see more of the hulk wrecking stuff then click on that fave and follow box.

Hands on the keyboard and leave your comments and reviews,( I read each and everyone of them) plus they help me gauge the story and your level of interest.

Obligatory rhyme time~ You know who it is. It's me, Mr bliss the ReidRain maker. The boredom breaker, the - Mr I'm so hot I leave ya sweating bullets later- the mad story creator. The dead ant beater, the human water heater. The goal keeper haha~ Top that yo, word! *peace sign* hahaha.

If you wish to support moi then you can reach me out on pat-re-on.com/ReidR41n.

Till we meet again, rain away!.


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