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75% Chunin Exam Day by Perfect Lionheart / Chapter 9: 9 Proud land owner

Chapitre 9: 9 Proud land owner

Naruto was stymied.

He needed extra chakra control badly in order to gain access to teachers with other abilities, and get some utility out of the medical stuff he'd already studied, and hopefully save Sasuke's worthless life in the Forest of Death so they could all move on.

He didn't know about the love thing, only knowing that his attempts at healing Sasuke had never helped yet, and thought more skill would matter. And for that he needed better chakra control, as always.

The trouble with that was, the only person who'd teach him any control was Ebisu, and he'd already gotten a scroll to study from the special jonin. The genin knew from experience that unless he could toss it right back at the guy, saying he'd already read (and then mastered) it, he wouldn't get any further instruction from the man.

So his study of that scroll had an increased priority.

"Let's see," he pondered as he chewed on fried lizard out in the forest, the same place he'd meet Tenten in the morning. It was a good spot, as he could study until he dropped from fatigue, then wake up to time with a friend.

He also didn't have much of a food budget, so as his cooking skill increased he'd go out into the woods surrounding Konoha and find some herbs and animals to prepare, as that saved money for other things and was less boring than yet another meal of instant ramen.

Yes, he'd loved ramen, but variety was the spice of life and now he wasn't getting it in any of the usual ways, so he'd branched out his diet.

So far he'd eaten rabbit, deer, elk, moose and squirrels, and was starting on some of the less traditional game animals, like bear and, today, lizards. The meals he was able to prepare, as well as the greens he was able to find, were steadily increasing in complexity, quality and flavor.

So far he'd only died a couple of times from eating the wrong mushroom or plant, and was getting better about spotting the dangerous varieties.

That scroll Ebisu had given him was a fairly scholarly treatise that had only five elements described, although he knew there were two more: Earth, Fire, Lightning, Water and Wind, and he'd seen Haku using Ice, while the stories of the First Hokage all had him using Wood. Of them all, only four were usable by everyone. The scroll did say that most people could use lightning, but not all, and he already knew it took a special bloodline to use the other two.

The scroll then pointed out that every village interpreted the basic elements differently as to which was superior. That was natural, he guessed, seeing as how they all came from differing countries with varying specialties, and the secrets they'd unveiled after using them for so long could improve them to the point of even reversing their natural qualities to make one strong even against those it was naturally quite weak against. However, despite all that, there were still certain things that certain elements always did better than others.

Fire and Wind lent themselves more naturally to offense than defense. It was true they could be used defensively, it was just harder. The same was true in reverse with Earth and Water, as each was far more easily used on defensive measures than offensive ones.

Of course, people didn't always do what was easy. Being ninja, they often did the very opposite of what was easy in order to accomplish the unexpected.

Lightning was almost like a cross between Fire and Wind, in that it had both of their strengths and weaknesses added on top of each other. That made it very, Very easily used on offensive purposes, and equally difficult to use on defensive, except for the "kill my enemy before he kills me" sort of defense.

Viewing it as a combined element like that, it was also easy to see why not every one had the ability to use it. Both of the other combined elements he knew of were bloodlines. Maybe Lightning use was too? One that developed so long ago that it had spread to nearly everyone, perhaps before they even realized what it could be used for?

Oh well, not like it mattered anyway.

The scroll also cautioned that an elemental affinity had to be developed. And, well, instead of the meaning the author had possibly intended of "whatever one you've got you'd have to work to increase," to the boy who was reading it, that meant "An elemental affinity was something you created."

And, well, if you were creating one, why not all? It was just a matter of time and motivation to practice, right? And both of those he had plenty of.

Settling down, he began to study the various exercises. To practice Earth, you took a leaf and began infusing it with your chakra, hopefully drying it out to harden to a dirt-like consistency to eventually turn it into powder. For fire you did the same but tried to burn it. For Lightning, the same, but you tried to crinkle it. Water, moisten it, and Wind to cut it.

They all sounded fairly simple.

With a shrug, Naruto decided, "I'm going to learn them all anyway. Might as well go in alphabetical order. Let's start with Earth."

I I I

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!" Naruto cried out through his microphone to a stadium audience consisting of thousands of exact copies of him, some female, all cheering and stomping on the bleachers he'd also created around the glade in the forest where Sasuke and Gaara were about to fight. "And Welcome to tonight's Celebrity Death Match!"

The clones roared their approval, drowning out all other noise.

"In this corner," he waved to the Sand siblings, who were all looking more than slightly alarmed at suddenly being surrounded by approximately four thousand shadow clones on stadium seats that had all appeared mysteriously out of nowhere. "Gaara of the Desert!"

A surge of cheers came from the crowd.

"And in this corner," he waved back to his own team, where Sasuke was looking utterly disgusted with him. "The Amazing! The Stupendous! The Colossal!..." He bent over to speak to another one of his clones, this one is a stage manager's uniform. "Hey, what do you mean Orochimaru's not going to show? Use the substitute? That Uchiha kid? No way! He'd never last ten seconds against that guy from Sand. I mean we're talking Gaara here! The undefeated village champion! Slayer of thousands, winner of over a hundred private assassination matches. The Uchiha hasn't even killed a bug! It'd be a total slaughter to send him in against that trained killer! Do it anyway? Well, okay, but you've gotta switch all my bets around - everything on Gaara to win! Okay!" He turned back to the studio audience, finished with his 'private' conversation that everyone had heard. "Now where were we? Oh, yes! Now, representing Konoha! The one, the only, the Amazing Walking Ego, the Pretty Princess, and darling of Fire country's pedophilic circle, The Dweebmeister!"

Equally loud boos and jeers from the clones met this pronouncement.

"Man, that's harsh," Kiba whispered to the rest of Team 8 where they had hidden out in the forest, drawn by the noise.

"Gaara! Gaara! He's our man! He can't do it, no one can!" Shouted an entire line of buxom cheerleader Naruto-chans, bouncing around shaking pompoms.

Sasuke was grinding the knuckles of his fingers together. He was going to kill him. The dope was going to die! How DARE he mock him like this before an important fight?

"The winner of tonight's fight," Naruto announced. "Goes on to the finals for a chance to gain the coveted chunin grade!"

A roar of approval from the audience Narutos.

"And to the loser," he continued, once the volume had died down to a more bearable level, "a consolation prize. The fact that they will no longer have to put up with Sakura's whining, seeing as how they will be mercifully dead."

"He didn't just say that, did he?" Ino muttered in shocked awe, where her own team were hiding out in the woods overlooking this.

"Peanuts, popcorn, crackerjacks," Naruto clones dressed up as snack vendors were going up and down the aisles - and visiting all of the dozens of concealed teams hidden in the surrounding woods.

Choji bought a raft of snacks while he had the chance, causing Ino to drop her face into her hands in disgust.

"I'm sorry, miss," one of the vendor clones informed Anko, where she was also overlooking this, having heard the noise. "But I'm going to have to see some ID. You don't look over 18 to me."

Seeing it was nothing serious, she'd stopped a vendor to ask about some sake. Pulling a wallet out of who-knows-where, she flashed him her nin-ID card, and collected her bottle.

"And they're off!" The announcer Naruto shouted out suddenly. "The Uchiha leads with a glare to the left! A sneer to the right! Oh! It's brutal! But Gaara is staying calm in the face of this fierce disapproval!"

That was it. Sasuke decided. The dope was going to die! There was nothing that was going to save him from his wrath after he got through with this!

He'd live long enough to get the team to the tower, so that he wouldn't be disqualified and lose his own chances, but after that!

"And it's that patented Sasuke Scowl! You're seeing it yourself folks! A move that he's been practicing for the last half dozen years is now seeing its first appearance in a real death match! But Gaara seems unfazed by the blow!"

Slow and painful. Sasuke decided. It was going to be slow and painful.

"He feints with a pout! What will it be next, folks? Oh! I can't believe it! It's the dreaded eye twitch! Can it be that Gaara has gotten through to his ego already? Impossible! There's no creature on Earth more arrogant than an Uchiha! He can't be giving up yet, folks!"

"I can't believe that Sasuke hasn't already killed Naruto for this!" Ino said between mouthfuls of popcorn with extra butter.

"He would have if he could tell which was the real one." Nara sighed, reclining beside her with a bag full of peanuts. "So troublesome."

"And it's back to the scowl, folks! I haven't seen action this intense since Sasuke nearly killed himself out of sheer terror and hopelessness at his own weak and useless condition on facing his first real opponent on a C-rank mission!" Announcer Naruto shouted enthusiastically into his microphone.

"Did that really happen?" Kiba turned to Hinata who nodded, having heard the story through the kunoichi grapevine. Although the version the fangirls told was more sympathetic than that one.

The dog user enjoyed a laugh at that information.

"Oh! We've got a lip curl! The Uchiha is really pulling out the stops here, ladies and gentlemen! I wonder how Gaara of the Sands can stand it!"

Gaara of the Sands was actually enjoying himself immensely. He couldn't quite remember what approval felt like, but now he had a whole stadium audience pouring it off onto him.

And he liked it, even if they were all thousands of the same boy giving it.

"And the Uchiha takes it up to the next level by slipping into his 'I'm an angry pretty boy' stance that makes him so popular with disgusting old men and brainless fangirls!"

"Hey!" Ino cried out, still safely back in the woodlands. She'd always thought Sasuke looked cute like that!

Nara stifled a snort before he could break out laughing and offend Ino, who'd clobber him for it.

Off in his part of the woods, Kiba felt no need for any such restraint and howled openly, clutching his gut as it hurt from so much laughter.

Hinata was busy eating her footlong sausage on a bun, covered in mustard and relish, that a vendor Naruto had given her "Compliments of the house." With a silent glance to ask approval, Shino helped himself to one of the sodas out of the six pack by her side.

The energy of the sugar in the soda water would help aid his bugs if it came to a conflict.

Anko had spilled her sake, roaring with unexpected laughter as the arrogant little prick got taken down a peg, by his own teammate no less! Wiping her mouth off on her sleeve, she signaled a vendor for another round.

"Yes!" the announcer went on. "The Uchiha has slipped into his 'Feeling sorry for myself!' defense! There's nothing that Gaara can do to hurt his feelings now, folks! The Uchiha has preempted all attempts to make him feel bad by already inflicting misery on himself! This never fails to get the fangirls falling all over him! It's going to be over soon, now, ladies and gentlemen! And... YES! Gaara makes a move, instantly crushing Sasuke to death using the sand The Uchiha had been ignoring pooling up at his feet all along! It just goes to show, folks, that you should never play 'hurt feelings' in a real fight! He will have to be satisfied with our consolation prize. And our winner is GAARA!"

The clones went nuts in their cheering and applause. Several teams of female Naruto cheerleaders bounced around excitedly spelling out Gaara's name letter by letter while leaping and cavorting about waving pompoms.

The after game wrap up show was almost as much of a spectacle as the actual match, with thousands of Narutos marching around on parade. They even had a brass band!

Kakashi, when he found out, went so far beyond upset that angry didn't even begin to cover it. It was as though they'd done it to him instead of Sasuke.

The amazing copycat ninja got so intensely mad he actually pulled out his Thousand Birds assassination technique in front of the Hokage, and Naruto almost got it between the eyes.

No, he got it to the chest instead, and Naruto got the unpleasant knowledge that he could actually live through having his chest blown open by Kakashi's 'one hit kill' technique.

Still, the reset put everything back to normal, as usual.

I I I

On reflection, Naruto considered his chakra control dilemma to be becoming desperate. He was running out of things that he could learn and still claim were at all useful to becoming a better ninja.

Ok, it was nice to learn flower arranging and all, but unless he was going to go undercover as a girl somewhere, it was hardly critical knowledge, and after his recent surge of abilities, slowing down like this was very distasteful.

He loved learning under Tenten's tutelage, but she was an excellent teacher and only knew so much herself. So it was not long before she'd passed that on to him. The time spent bugging Kabuto had been plenty to learn all she could teach and then some.

Oh, he was only hitting forty times out of a hundred, half that with exotic stuff that wasn't meant to be thrown, but without muscle memory and still having to think through every action, that was as good as he was probably going to get.

She was skilled enough that many of the tricks she knew for rapid throwing rates and pinpoint accuracy she couldn't pass on to him until he'd crested that limit. So, sadly, now he was hanging around her for fun instead of a vast increase in ninja skills, like he'd earlier enjoyed with her.

Still, he was plenty willing to have fun and hang out with her just for the sake of it. People were probably the most interesting things about this whole reset scenario. You read a book and you've read it, there wasn't anything else there. But people had so many depths and hidden triggers, even when you think you know them well there was always more to discover.

Hm! On that thought!

I I I

"Hey, Ebisu! What do you do for fun? You know, when you aren't training young ninja or out on missions?"

Seeing as how the blond genin asking this of him was doing as he'd been told, turning this way and that, lifting one leg, and so on, the special jonin decided he'd be agreeable in return and answer, lest Naruto start being difficult. So he adjusted his glasses and thought a moment.

"Frankly? I like to draw."

Naruto nearly fell down from where he'd been balancing. Wow. THAT he hadn't expected! "Really?"

"Yes." The special jonin gazed off into the woodlands. "You don't truly see beauty until you learn to recognize it. The world is an amazingly lovely place, but how often do you pause and appreciate it? No, I draw because it gives me a sense of connection to the beauty all around us when I pause and study it."

"Wow. Who would have thought?" Naruto blinked twice in shock, before using his head to turn around and really look at stuff, having before just seen a sort of mental summary of things he could use and things he couldn't.

Then he really saw what the special jonin had been talking about: The way the wind blew, rustling leaves, glints of sunlight through the trees.

It was gorgeous. How had he missed this? He'd been standing right in the middle of it this whole time, how could he not have seen how lovely it all was?

Ebisu, as a teaching specialist, decided to turn this into a teaching moment before the young one could forget this instant of realization and dismiss his words. "As ninja we have a very dangerous profession. All of us are subject to great stress performing our duties. It is vitally important, young Naruto, to understand that you cannot accumulate stress forever or it will destroy you. You must have some way of reducing or escaping it. For some this thing is alcohol, for others..." he snorted disdainfully, "pornography, or obsessions with power or control. But all of those are self destructive habits, not nearly so bad as going rogue and killing your clan, but ultimately destructive to you and your abilities. No, I do not recommend them. They are the choices of those who have made no choice before their stress grew so great it demanded that they do something to relieve their suffering."

The special jonin reoriented on him, the light glinting across his glasses as he turned to look at him. "No, everyone needs peace, a way to find their solace and unwind from the stress of our profession. You can choose a destructive habit, or a constructive one. I choose to draw, and the feeling of connection with the beauty of nature this gives me has so far suited all my needs."

Naruto was nodding, still caught up in wonder. Wow! Who would have thought?

It was several moments before he regained his wits after his surprise at the beauty all around them. By then Ebisu was gazing at him smugly, smiling over his folded arms. "You see?"

Taking a deep breath, the boy nodded again. "So what now Ebisu?"

He still needed to progress, and for that he needed to master that scroll, so he could eventually learn something else.

After all, the public library didn't have scrolls of ninja techniques. Even well-known ones like Body Flicker were still held as semi-secret, and were passed down in families for the most part. All of the scrolls detailing them were in private libraries, usually owned by clans.

Ebisu paused in his instruction as his student got a wicked gleam to his eyes.

I I I

"I can't believe I hadn't thought of this before," Naruto mused to himself under his breath. "I mean, I know where the bastard hangs out, and he's not going to come anywhere near this place all day - maybe never. I can't recall ever seeing him come here, even before we started to repeat. But, if you are going to steal techniques..."

He looked up at the gates to the Uchiha district, standing before them debating whether or not to disguise himself as his broody teammate.

"Why not steal from the best? These guys have been copying the techniques of others since before this village was founded. They've got to have some useful stuff hidden in there somewhere. The sort of stuff they were famous for copying is exactly the kind of thing no one else will teach me!"

In the end he decided not to use a disguise this time. Plenty of opportunity for that later, if he had to. And he did not want to wear the broody bastard's face any more than needed. So he pushed open a small, door sized, side gate beside the grand main ones big enough for parade floats to pass through and slipped right in.

"Dang! This place is extensive!" Naruto muttered to himself as he beheld the interior of the walled compound. The only thing he could think of to compare it to was the Forest of Death, only it was on a different side of the village from that perilous place, and slightly smaller.

But for a clan compound that was unbelievably huge, especially when you accounted for all of the buildings covering the place, in between the parks and private training grounds. There were even untended farms lying fallow, that had once been worked by hired laborers.

It wasn't that big because the population had demanded it. No, there'd never been all that many Uchihas, a hundred at most. But, judging by what Naruto saw, they had lived like kings.

Apparently being copycats paid well.

Still somewhat awed by the size of the place, Naruto started exploring. Of course it couldn't be that easy. Yes, the place was full of traps, it was part of a ninja village, after all, but what of it? Traps were no barrier to a ninja who could create thousands of solid clones and tell them to go first.

No, what really tripped him up were the tiny seals inscribed on each window and door of the place. Small, unobtrusive, and the very first time he broke one a full ANBU team appeared, summoned to that location by the disturbed seal, whereupon they immediately took him into custody and dragged him before the Hokage, who blinked when he saw him.

"Oh? Naruto? What were you doing in the Uchiha district?"

"I was looking for Sasuke-teme," the blond lied easily, with the practice of long experience behind him to make it convincing. "He'd promised to teach me the Grand Fireball technique, but I couldn't find him anywhere. So I went to look for him at his house."

Relieved, the old man tapped the ashes out of his pipe, motioning for the ANBU team to stand down. "Oh. You wouldn't find him there, Naruto. Sasuke lives in an apartment in town. Here, let me give you the address."

As the old man started to write, the demon container shook off the arms of the ANBU still holding him. "Hey, old man! Why is that place so big, anyway? Did we have millions of Uchihas, or something?"

Sarutobi chuckled at the question, presented Naruto the paper with Sasuke's address, and sat back, lighting his pipe. "Actually, the size of the Uchiha district had nothing to do with their numbers. The grant of a large compound was a tool used by the first Hokage to draw the status conscience clan to join his new village. At the time before there was a village here, the land was practically worthless, so it cost the First Hokage virtually nothing to make even so grand an offer. So a huge plot of land was used as bait to stroke the egos of a very proud clan, and it worked out marvelously."

"So why doesn't Sasuke-teme live there?" the blond looked at the address on the paper before crumpling it in his fist, as Sarutobi expected him to do. He'd had a great deal of experience in acting and how to throw off suspicion.

The Hokage's face darkened. "Naruto, I don't expect you to remember, but when you were about six years old one of the most promising prodigies the Uchiha clan have ever produced turned rogue and slaughtered his family in what is now known as the Uchiha Massacre."

"So what's that got to do with anything?" the genin blurted, interrupting as he knew the old man expected him to.

"I was just coming to that." Sarutobi set down his pipe in a tray and folded his gnarled old hands. "I suppose I should not be surprised your teammate never mentioned it to you. It has always been a sore subject for him, but it was his older brother Itachi who murdered his clan. A person Sasuke had always before looked up to and been told to emulate by his father, killed his father and mother in front of him, then subjected him to several days of torture using a special illusion."

"Heck, the only thing Sasuke's ever told me is that I'm an idiot, and that he's better than everyone else 'cause he's an Uchiha." The orange clad boy folded his arms behind his head and casually examined the walls, trying to hide how much that still hurt, especially since Sasuke's mood wasn't great during the test and he was having trouble remembering better times, if there were any.

Come to think of it, Sasuke'd always been something of a stuck up bastard. Why did he hang around him again? Oh, that's right. He'd had no family and zero real friends, so he'd substituted by annoying acquaintances in order to get people to recognize him. Sasuke and Sakura had been his prime targets.

The Hokage sighed, reading that interplay as though he could see inside the boy's mind. "Yes. I've heard that boy tends to keep people at a distance. It is not healthy for him. I was hoping, when I formed Team 7, that your friendly and outgoing nature would be good for him, and that if you became friends his popularity would benefit you in turn."

Naruto glanced at the guy out of the corner of his eye. "News flash, gramps. It didn't happen that way. He and his fangirl take turns abusing me, and when it really matters they gang up on me."

Sarutobi shrank in on himself a touch. "Yes, I'd heard that, too."

Naruto turned back to examine the walls. "So what part about being a stuck up, selfish bastard makes him not want to live at home? I'd thought having such a huge place would only help prove he was better than anyone else. He's always looking for stuff to prove his arrogance is justified."

The old man blinked at hearing the word 'justified' come out of Naruto's mouth, and, without reacting to it, the blond genin made a note not to use it the next time they had this conversation, should they ever do so. Still, the moment of surprise was not great enough to stop him from answering the question. "After the catastrophe, Sasuke didn't want to live where he was constantly surrounded by reminders of what he had lost. So I made a deal with him. The Uchiha district is, as you pointed out, surprisingly large, and no sooner had that clan accepted the First Hokage's offer than other member clans were grumbling about it. So I felt I could satisfy everyone in one great move. I could help a child with too much on his shoulders while resolving the animosity among our other clans at the same time."

Sarutobi gave a very sad smile. "I truly thought I was being quite clever, and felt I would resolve a longstanding bitterness if I offered for Konoha to buy the Uchiha properties from Sasuke at a fair price for all involved, then turn around and sell them again to whoever wanted them. Thus, none of our clans could complain again about the large land grant, because everyone would have had their own chance to bid on them, along with everyone else. While Sasuke would be well provided for and away from painful, traumatic memories."

Naruto glanced at the Hokage, then slagged down into a chair, mannerisms just screaming 'get on with this!', even though he was secretly quite interested.

Sarutobi leaned back and drew several long drafts on his pipe, thinking he was torturing the young genin by the delay, but he did eventually continue. "Sasuke agreed, and packed everything he wanted from the estate. He did not take much, as I recall. I offered to pay for several genin teams to help him move at Konoha's expense, but he turned down my offer and left with only what he could carry."

The old man started to look very tired as he continued, "As for why Sasuke didn't take more, I believe that is in three parts. First, he was traumatized and wanted to get in and out quickly. He likely wasn't thinking clearly or as the last Uchiha. Second, the use of the library had been pounded into his head from an early age. His family was so firm about treatment of their collection that even I know the rules: don't lose or damage any scrolls or books you take, return them when you're done, and if there is only one copy left then either make another copy or don't remove it from the library. Third, he was aiming at getting memories and what he and Itachi had been learning at that time from their father... everything else was secondary to that goal."

Naruto gave the Hokage a bored look that was completely at odds with his feelings inside, which thought this was fascinating.

"Ah yes, Naruto, the punchline. I am coming to that. The joke was on me, after all, because no one in Konoha wanted to buy the Uchiha lands. After the massacre happened some felt it was cursed, some felt it was haunted, some just couldn't fathom the idea of wanting to even be near the place after what occurred, some felt it was dishonorable to use the lands after what had happened there, and so on. In the end, no one wanted the Uchiha lands. I was, obviously, fairly annoyed, especially with those who had previously been very vocal about the subject." Sarutobi gave a sad sort of smile.

"There was nothing I could do, though. Konoha owned the land, no one wanted to change it (everyone for differing reasons) or even go near it. We covered the buildings with seals to keep out squatters or infiltrators, and patrol it every so often to keep it clear, but ever since that day it has just sat there, a permanent reminder of what Itachi did to his family. Sasuke, I understand, has never once gone near the place since he left it."

"Yah. But at least that bastard gets to know who his parents were," Naruto bit off that statement bitterly, folding his arms behind his head to look away from the Hokage sullenly, mumbling, "And he gets love and respect of the villagers. Kakashi teaches him techniques, and..." the voice grew too soft for even the Hokage's sharp ears to follow.

Sarutobi winced badly, then broke out in a wan smile as he reached for a price of paper. "Naruto, how would you like your own district?"

The boy's shocked and grateful eyes grew round, then he consumed the old man in a hug. "YES!"

Too bad the library of the place was impossible to 


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