Chapitre 19: Chapter 18

I could not sleep nor rest even though my mind was so tired down after not only being forcibly controlled but because of the rollercoaster of emotions and bone chilling terror of the past few hours we have been through.

And yet I could not sleep nor relax for there is just too much to think about.

For I had just find out why my safety had become such an important matter, and why with a mere few steps out my security had already been ripped away from me.

Because apparently I'm the big shot Vampire's Lord mate.

Oh joy.

And even without knowing I've already caused so much trouble already.

Double joy that.

I sigh for the nth time, thinking just how my curiosity got me to come to this town and get stuck in a situation like this.

I mean, is not like I'm totally against the idea or something like that, is just that… I'm quite young to be thinking about settling down and marrying, even more when it is, like, with a vampire and for, like, eternity and whatever.

That is just too much for my little brain to cope with right now.

And still… the conversation I had with the elder keeps playing in my mind.

On just how important a mate is, the other haft given by the Moon Goodness and all that shit, so important that the gargoyls not only assert the quality of the blood, but as linked as they are by kinship to the Vampire Lord are able to recognize the mate's blood by taste, and that's how Ragid lost control the other night, too young to cope with the Vampire Lord's feeling towards my blood to stop himself from reacting the way he did.

But I can't understand that feeling, that importance, I can't, I can't at all… and yet I've know of its importance but I've never thought too much about it, more focused in species and their characteristics than in regards to this behave patterns, but this city has shown me just how much I was losing for doing it as such.

One thing is to recognize every bird species by the mere sound, other is to understand these animals and their life circles, on how beautifully eagles and wolves would have a single partner for life, sharing grievances and joys, very romantic indeed.

Sigh, I've never been the romantic type. Hell, with twenty years of age I was still trying to figure myself out, much less try to understand and live with another.

And now I had to cope with a probably ancient vampire who had lived thousands of lives already? I don't know how I feel about that, nor for the fact that he is not even human, and I don't think my curiosity about the supernatural goes that far.

But still… I could not help but feel thrilled by the perspective, somewhat enticed, surely in the way Eve felt by the snake in paradise.

I know it could bite me, but still could not help but stretch out my hand to touch it.

And perhaps I did not care as much if a ended up bitten or not, as long as I could touch that beautiful creature at least once.

And at the same time that I was a mess trying to cope with that fact, a smaller and yet present part of me keep asking the same thing over and over again too...

If I was truly his super important beloved mate, then… why had he not come meet me yet? Why did he leave for others to take care of me without even saying hi or explaining himself? Surely if a mate was as important as it sounded, he would want to come and meet me… right?

Is it because… I'm a man? Or because I'm human? Perhaps… he did not like me after all.

Well, that is a depressing thought to have, and the worst is to care at all for that, but who would not be sad and a little angry if the so called fated for life partner of yours did not want you at all? Well, even if I hated the guy I would still feel a little bit hurt.

So, at the end of all that tossing and turning I start to get fed up about my own mind, speculation and worries, deeming that such a stranger is not worth my peace of mind, so I do my best to go back to my professional self and, with so many contents dropped at once on me I get goosebumps from even thinking about just how much I have to post and write about in my blog.

So that is just what I do, I get my phone out from my pocket and open my writing app up, but stop once the white screen is on my face, biting my lips as the ideas start surging on my mind, having a hard time choosing which one I should pick to start with.

Let me see… there is the Dhapir to talk about, the Vampires of course, the Werewolves now, and their Moon Goodness and culture too, as well as that terrible truth about the vampire society… or rather, about the supernatural society, and how humans can be view quite differently depending on the individual.

But… thinking about just how well most supernatural have treated me it almost feels like a lie that there could be such a thing, but still pondering the fact that I was biting first day in and hypnotized second one makes me realize that I should not be as trusting of them as I felt right now, still here I'm at the bed of a stranger's home in a Werewolf community.

…I guess I'm not really good of the head am I?

That almost makes me laugh out of despair, but still unsure if I wanted to take such an approach at the subject and post on my blog since I'm sure it would have some sort of political repercussion and perhaps halt the supernatural attempts on been at friendly terms with the humans, I settle by talking about… simpler subjects.

I was typing furiously at my little keyboard, the bright light illuminating my face that was almost completely under the blankets, and getting the hang of it and focusing on the letters that keep popping on one after the other I do not notice that someone had entered the room until they voice themselves out by saying:

"What are you doing?" I jump up in surprise, but calm down once I see that is only Lucien standing there at the door, looking at me with a poker face that makes me dread what is there to come.

And wonder just how much scowling I was about to get from him…