All those around me want me to stay,
But my mind wants me to go away.
The thoughts of the adrenaline,
And maybe the gun fights I would get in.
They make my blood start pumping,
In a way I don't think is normal.
Do I tell others my thoughts,
Or do I lock them away like everything is ok?
I don't want a boring life,
But the expectations hang over me like a knife.
I don't know how to go forward,
Do I leave for what I think is right or do I stay and continue being undisciplined?
Only time will tell,
And I kind of want to go through that hell.