The Demi-God's Adventure (SUSPENDED)

LV 5

Ayaka_Scarlett

Gosh!! Your synopsis are brief but could really make a person interested on it. Your writing quality is good so I gave you five star for it, plus the story development is making me more interested, not so boring and not also exaggerated. However, I think you still need to work on your characters more as I feel they're lacking on emotions. I'm confused at the part where the two terrorist appeared eyeing Megan with their lustful eyes plus when they asked her she only answered 'I refuse' which came monotonous for me— I mean Megan should've come to feel uncomfortable right? Not that I'm criticizing the way you wrote it but I suggest that you should at least state the way the characters feel at a certain situation. Is she strong-minded? Or is she suppressing her emotions of fear? Like also, where the muscular guy took out his gun and pointed it at Arthur saying that he will kill him if she (Megan) doesn't come with them (did i state it right?). But then the conversation jumped to where Arthur is telling her to run away, should she at least have a bit of reaction like coming out of the shocked state because of the gun the guy took out when Arthur told her to run away or be startled, like that. Putting it aside I still liked the way you wrote your story. Keep on writing . Hoping for more updates here!~ ^^ English is not my first language so I apologize if there's mistakes and for some of my typing errors

LV 12

Silent_Moon

Lol like a copy of isekai smartphone something... is this a harem???? If not pls make it a harem. Please PleasePleasePleaseihzoqzoqjsjw9d91js1jdj2pdjp1js9h2ish9qjsp1jps1pspqjsj10j10so1jspqjozjqpsjoqhs9qjsobqishoqzoqjsiqbzoh19shp1jsp1js0j10sj