13Critiques
4.05
- Qualité de l’écriture
- Stabilité des mises à jour
- Développement de l’histoire
- Conception des personnages
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Exposition dump, in the beginning, too lazy to read, but anyway, the premise has been done before. Despite English being, your third language, it's quite decent. The plot is engaging enough, and I like the characters.
The novel needs some serious editing. The flow is broken in many places, and the grammar dissuades me from reading (my mind can only do so many auto-corrects before it gets tired). The weekly release rate amounts to whatever the author pleases. So far the depth of the characters is very superficial. They feel more like plot devices than actual living people. The only thing I can feel the author has put some serious effort is into trying to make us understand the struggle the world is going through. Overall a 2.4/5 according to Qi's standards.
Hi, I'm the author. Blahblahblah, blahblah blahblah, blahblahblahblah blahblah. Blahblah, blahblah, blahblah. Blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah. Blahblahblah.
*Remember this review is based on the first 5 chapters* Constructive Criticism: Good plot, but can't really determine whether this is a story I'll enjoy based only on these chapters, feels like some of these chapters would work better as prologue chaps, (not the first,) However, since I haven't read that far, I can't say that with certainty.;,;. Also your world background does not make much sense to me, I understand the background of the game well enough to understand that's the world that seems more important to this novel, but I feel that both worlds are still lacking by a great amount. Positive Feedback: Good plot line and nice reactions.;,;. haven't noticed any grammatical errors nor fluency errors.;,;. Personal Feedback: I know not yet whether I will enjoy this book, but for those who will enjoy this story, it seems like it will be a good read. I will continue reading this at another time, and may or may not finish. Please, though, finish what you started here for your fans' sakes (or to spite the haters).;,;.
The writing is a lil' bit confusing at some parts but nothing dramatic. The story development is confusing as there isn't a clear line between the past, present and future. And the story transition between different event whithout been clear on what it's happening but maybe it's intended? but the result is that we don't know what's happening and what the author want's us to understand. Anyway, can't say much about the characters as i don't have much data but the MC seems like a good guy (except for the killing of billions of people). The world background looks promising. Earth disaster by global climate changing and a Virtual Game to save it... looking forward it. keep going on!
Writing quality: The book switches from present tense to past tense often, which can leave some readers confused. There are also a LOT of grammatical errors and unnecessary words that may contradict or make it hard for the reader to understand. However, this happens rarely and you can still get the general gist of it. I don't know about the stability of updates, so I just gave 5 stars. Wheeee. Story Development: Clearly, there's a story here. A good one. However, the development of it i's choppy and broken. There isn't a smooth transition from the past to the future to the game. It's harder for a reader to immerse themselves when they don't even know what the heck is going on. This is going to be hard to fix. Or maybe it's intended? Character design: The goal of a good writer is to make memorable characters. Caleb is a little cliché, but he definitely is (almost) memorable. Need to read more. World Background: It's a bit of a stretch for the game pods to be created just to combat global warming. I mean, I could think of twenty other ways that are possible even with the technology of today. Otherwise, it's alright.
Spoiler de révélation
A novel with a solid plot. Starts out pretty cliche but manages to distinguish itself from other novels of it's trope after a few chapters. Though the grammar and punctuation would need a bit of improvement. You'll find some sentences awkward to read, but the rest of the story is done well. It just requires a bit of polishing. Cheers!
Im somewhat getting that SAO vibe in this book <3 I really love how you put your idea into words but I have to be frank with you. ***I hope you don't find this review offensive I feel like your novel is more like a script. There are a lot of dialogues and I cannot really grasp what kind of emotions the character is trying to portray. The reason why I also find your novel more like a script because of... *Inside a room*... when you are creating a novel, you have to be more descriptive with your sentences to make you readers imagine... like 'Inside a soft lit room, there are members discussing---" something like that. This novel has a great potential and it could possibly get an anime or manga adaptation.
Spoiler de révélation
I think this will be good but it seems like the update is not stable. Looking forward to your work with your newly found editor ~ Keep up the good work! Hope to see more chapters! 👋
Very good novel!!!!! Can't wait to read more. The story is intriguing and catchy. Please have a steady release. Anyways, good job!
Might be good who knows yet though. Might be good who knows yet though. Might be good who knows yet though.Might be good who knows yet though.
Good start so far! Even though it’s only a chapter the set up is intriguing enough to garner attention! Good luck on your novel, hopefully everything goes as plan. Also, for your 3rd language, there was less gramatical errors than the average native English speaker lol. Minor fluidity and grammar mistakes but nothing a proofreader can’t fix!
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Exposition dump, in the beginning, too lazy to read, but anyway, the premise has been done before. Despite English being, your third language, it's quite decent. The plot is engaging enough, and I like the characters.
The novel needs some serious editing. The flow is broken in many places, and the grammar dissuades me from reading (my mind can only do so many auto-corrects before it gets tired). The weekly release rate amounts to whatever the author pleases. So far the depth of the characters is very superficial. They feel more like plot devices than actual living people. The only thing I can feel the author has put some serious effort is into trying to make us understand the struggle the world is going through. Overall a 2.4/5 according to Qi's standards.
Hi, I'm the author. Blahblahblah, blahblah blahblah, blahblahblahblah blahblah. Blahblah, blahblah, blahblah. Blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah. Blahblahblah.
*Remember this review is based on the first 5 chapters* Constructive Criticism: Good plot, but can't really determine whether this is a story I'll enjoy based only on these chapters, feels like some of these chapters would work better as prologue chaps, (not the first,) However, since I haven't read that far, I can't say that with certainty.;,;. Also your world background does not make much sense to me, I understand the background of the game well enough to understand that's the world that seems more important to this novel, but I feel that both worlds are still lacking by a great amount. Positive Feedback: Good plot line and nice reactions.;,;. haven't noticed any grammatical errors nor fluency errors.;,;. Personal Feedback: I know not yet whether I will enjoy this book, but for those who will enjoy this story, it seems like it will be a good read. I will continue reading this at another time, and may or may not finish. Please, though, finish what you started here for your fans' sakes (or to spite the haters).;,;.
The writing is a lil' bit confusing at some parts but nothing dramatic. The story development is confusing as there isn't a clear line between the past, present and future. And the story transition between different event whithout been clear on what it's happening but maybe it's intended? but the result is that we don't know what's happening and what the author want's us to understand. Anyway, can't say much about the characters as i don't have much data but the MC seems like a good guy (except for the killing of billions of people). The world background looks promising. Earth disaster by global climate changing and a Virtual Game to save it... looking forward it. keep going on!
Writing quality: The book switches from present tense to past tense often, which can leave some readers confused. There are also a LOT of grammatical errors and unnecessary words that may contradict or make it hard for the reader to understand. However, this happens rarely and you can still get the general gist of it. I don't know about the stability of updates, so I just gave 5 stars. Wheeee. Story Development: Clearly, there's a story here. A good one. However, the development of it i's choppy and broken. There isn't a smooth transition from the past to the future to the game. It's harder for a reader to immerse themselves when they don't even know what the heck is going on. This is going to be hard to fix. Or maybe it's intended? Character design: The goal of a good writer is to make memorable characters. Caleb is a little cliché, but he definitely is (almost) memorable. Need to read more. World Background: It's a bit of a stretch for the game pods to be created just to combat global warming. I mean, I could think of twenty other ways that are possible even with the technology of today. Otherwise, it's alright.
Spoiler de révélation A novel with a solid plot. Starts out pretty cliche but manages to distinguish itself from other novels of it's trope after a few chapters. Though the grammar and punctuation would need a bit of improvement. You'll find some sentences awkward to read, but the rest of the story is done well. It just requires a bit of polishing. Cheers!
Im somewhat getting that SAO vibe in this book <3 I really love how you put your idea into words but I have to be frank with you. ***I hope you don't find this review offensive I feel like your novel is more like a script. There are a lot of dialogues and I cannot really grasp what kind of emotions the character is trying to portray. The reason why I also find your novel more like a script because of... *Inside a room*... when you are creating a novel, you have to be more descriptive with your sentences to make you readers imagine... like 'Inside a soft lit room, there are members discussing---" something like that. This novel has a great potential and it could possibly get an anime or manga adaptation.
Spoiler de révélation I think this will be good but it seems like the update is not stable. Looking forward to your work with your newly found editor ~ Keep up the good work! Hope to see more chapters! 👋
Very good novel!!!!! Can't wait to read more. The story is intriguing and catchy. Please have a steady release. Anyways, good job!
Might be good who knows yet though. Might be good who knows yet though. Might be good who knows yet though.Might be good who knows yet though.
Good start so far! Even though it’s only a chapter the set up is intriguing enough to garner attention! Good luck on your novel, hopefully everything goes as plan. Also, for your 3rd language, there was less gramatical errors than the average native English speaker lol. Minor fluidity and grammar mistakes but nothing a proofreader can’t fix!
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.