Chapitre 60: SS- Horikita Suzune (2)
I knew this was a bad idea.
Yet I couldn't stop myself as I walked alone at night. The campus was unusually empty, probably because everyone was tired and resting since today our Mid-terms ended.
I was glad that no one saw me.
The night breeze felt unusually chilly and I shivered. Maybe I should've worn more clothes than a T-shirt and pants.
It was pathetic how I lost my cool whenever Nii-san was mentioned.
I looked at my phone and followed the red pointer on it. Yamamoto didn't give me a set location but told me to trace him from the tracker on the school-given devices.
This was a really creepy function but that was a thought for later.
It didn't take me long, I soon reached the location and I saw him.
He was sitting alone on the bench by the railings, gazing at the night sky. He seemed to be thinking about something.
I wonder how he was feeling.
All his hard work had been forcefully taken away. Did he prefer his gentle leadership or the way of the tyrant he showed in class today?
I was also curious about one thing. Did expelling three students and ruining their careers affect him even a little bit?
If it didn't then...
Shaking my head I walked in front of him.
"You're here, Suzune." He said calmly. He wasn't faking gentleness nor was he mocking me. It was a simple statement without any emotions.
"Speak. What kind of 'contract' did you make with Nii-san? Why did he give you so many private points?"
"You're not even going to wait? Talk about being hasty," he gestured to the sky and the moon, and the pleasant sound of the seas trickled into my ears, "Such a beautiful view, why not enjoy it a bit?"
"Don't waste my time Yamamoto. Why did you call me here? I'd rather stay away from you as much as possible."
I didn't want to admit it but being alone with him was... scary. His personality was a mess, his thoughts were unknown, and his goals were completely random.
It's the fact that I don't know what he'll suddenly do is what scares me. What if he tries to assault me again? The skills that I boasted of were meaningless in front of him.
There was no one around and the bench he was sitting on wasn't properly covered by the cameras.
And who was to say he hadn't just paid the school to turn the surrounding surveillance cameras off? After what happened today I had serious doubts about the system in this school.
Just how much authority did private points give?
It was scary how much this school resembled the real world.
Wealth was strength.
"That hurts my feelings you know."
"You? And feelings?" I sneered as he let out a wry smile.
Did he really think he could fool me?
"Well, I do have some things to tell you." He said before gesturing towards the bench, patting the area beside him, "Why don't you sit down first?"
I didn't respond to him. I hope my silence indicated just how stupid his request was.
"Haaa..." He sighed, "Either you sit down or leave. Consider this conversation ove—"
I sat down on the bench immediately as he looked at me awkwardly.
"What? You said I needed to sit down on the bench, not directly besides you."
"Wow..." He seemed speechless as I sat on the edge of the bench, maintaining as much distance as I could.
"Alright alright, you win." Him admitting defeat, even a minor one like this, made me somewhat happy but I immediately squashed those feelings.
"Are you going to speak now?"
"Well, yes but I have a few questions before that."
What did he want to ask?
I nodded.
"Did you really think I would not go against the class?"
It was unsettling as he gazed at me. His eyes shone with a curious gleam, it was as if he already knew the answer but wanted to hear it from me.
"No. I knew you would."
There was no point in hiding anything from him. What I had intended to do failed anyway and if I wanted him to be honest with me I had to be honest first.
"I see. I didn't think you'd simply admit it." He smiled, "So you knew that there was no saving the idiot trio but you still tried to persuade the class, giving them hope that they could still be saved. You used Kushida and Hirata to manipulate the class into giving their points for them knowing I would completely crush the class regardless of how they feel."
I stayed silent as he pointed out exactly what I wanted to do. I never thought that Yamamoto Tatsuya would not expel them.
I had intentionally wasted whatever private points the class had to reveal his true self.
"You simply wanted to strip away the authority I had in class huh..." He sounded amused, "Why did you think that would work anyway?"
"It's not about whether it would work or not. I admit I was unable to take away your influence but tyrants don't live for long. A gentle leader who hides his fangs is more dangerous than an honest tyrant."
Yes, that was the little victory I had gained in this whole episode. I had forced him to change his methods but there was something that felt wrong.
My heart itched as my eyes travelled to his.
"But... Why didn't you pay Sensei to keep your involvement a secret?"
Yamamoto Tatsuya was smart enough to realise that had he paid Sensei enough we would've never had conclusive evidence of his involvement.
That was what unsettled me the entire time.
"It was intentional." His lips curled up as he moved his eyes away from me to the night sky once again, he had an abnormal fixture to nature, didn't he?
I've seen how he always looked at the sky during classes regardless of what was happening. I wonder what his thoughts were.
"It was getting boring playing the kind and gentle guy... Or rather I didn't have the need to continue the act any longer." The information he gave was quite valuable.
Something had happened in this last month that caused Yamamoto to change his ways.
But why did he need to play such an act in the first place?
"I see." I really had nothing to offer in return for those words so I simply shifted to the more important stuff, "Can you tell me about the 'contract' now?"
"Suzune..." He sounded tired, "Why do you keep on insisting about knowing the 'contract'? Did I ever say in my message that I would talk about the deal I made with your brother?"
"What?"
What else would he even want to talk about then? The only connection between him and Nii-san was the contract so I presumed that was what he wanted to talk about.
"You said you wanted to talk about Nii-san, what else is there to possibly talk about?"
There was nothing else I wished to talk to him about. He was utterly detestable, not for me, but as an individual.
There was still a little part of me that hoped he would be empathetic towards them. I know that's hypocritical coming from me but...
"It's not that I wouldn't tell you but it's confidential and I can't reveal any details regarding it otherwise I'll be expelled."
That made more sense and I felt a little of my dissatisfaction slip away but that still doesn't answer why he called me here using Nii-san.
"I presume it's alright if I leave?" I said coldly while getting up. I wasn't really asking him, if he gave some idiotic answer I would leave without hesitation.
"Suzune, do you know why your brother is so cold to you?"
I wasn't expecting that and the unexpected question caused my heart to writh in annoyance.
I sat back down and lowered my head.
"It's because I'm a disappointment. I've been unable to follow his footsteps properly..."
I don't know why I was even telling him this but maybe because he was doomed to a lonely fate as mine I thought it wouldn't be a big deal.
Since he had some kind of connection with Nii-san I couldn't help but want to share some of my feelings. Perhaps he might know something.
If he wanted to just mock me he would've done so already.
It could also be possible that he's fishing for information against Nii-san using me but I could only pity him as there was nothing he would get from me if that was the case.
I wonder about the nature of the contract they've made.
"Again with that." He sounded annoyed, "Why do you want to follow his footsteps in the first place?"
Huh? What did he mean by that?
"Why wouldn't I?" I asked back, "He's an excellent individual who's been at the top no matter what. He is someone I've admired since I was a little girl. Why wouldn't I wish to achieve the same excellence as him and make him proud of me?"
Yamamoto sighed as he looked at me with pity. He really is annoying, should I just leave?
Again I found myself questioning the reason I was still here.
"That's where the problem lies, Suzune."
Before I could question him he spoke again.
"You've been living your life to fulfil someone else's expectations. Your worth isn't determined by meeting someone else's standards, not even your brother's."
I raised an eyebrow, unsure of where he was going with this.
"Your brother might have his own reasons for being distant, but that doesn't mean you should define your success solely based on his achievements. What about your own goals, your passions?"
I scoffed, "Passions? Goals? Those are luxuries I can't afford."
Yamamoto leaned back, studying me with an unreadable expression. "You're trapped in this cycle of seeking validation from others. It's time to break free and live for yourself."
I was taken aback by his words, not expecting such advice from someone like him.
"Think about it, Suzune. What do you truly want, independent of your brother's influence? What would make you happy?"
I hesitated, grappling with the idea of self-discovery. It was a path I hadn't considered before.
Or rather I was so focused on following his footsteps that I never looked back on my own.
"Enough of this philosophical talk," I deflected, feeling uncomfortable with the introspection.
"It's not philosophical talk. I'll tell you directly, the reason why your brother is acting distant towards you."
His gaze bore into me and I froze in place. What he was saying was that he had the answer I had been searching for many years.
Even I fell quiet, not daring to interrupt him. My heart was thumping against my chest as my ears perked up with anticipation.
Did he...
Did he really know why?
"Your brother is disappointed in you."
That was something I knew. I've failed to prove myself multiple times.
"He's disappointed because you're trying to become like him. That is not what he wants, Suzune. He wants you to become you. He wants you to become someone that would surpass him. He believes, no, he knows you have the potential to become greater than him but how anger-inducing it must be that you were wasting it so simply. Try to think it through from his perspective and you'll understand."
His words were like thunder blasting in my ears as I sat frozen in place, I ignored the fact that he had scooted next to me.
The distance between us was now minimal but I paid him no mind and blankly stared at the sky. The night air grew colder, and the distant sound of waves added an eerie backdrop to our conversation.
I see.
It all made sense now...
So he always believed in me.
I subconsciously smiled with relief and joy.
For so many years I was agonizing over whether Nii-san had stopped caring about me because I wasn't able to live up to his expectations. Due to that, I fell deeper and deeper into the hole of trying to become him.
There was so much going on in my head that I felt like it would explode. There was so much to think about.
But not right now.
I really wanted to just go back to my room and sleep.
Today was such a long and unexpected day.
Three students were expelled, Yamamoto Tatsuya forcefully took control of Class D and Class D was now bankrupt due to my forceful actions.
But the most important thing...
I looked at him, my eyes peered into his own dark orbs. The distance between us was so little that if someone saw us right now I would have no words in defence.
"Why?"
It was a simple question but it embodied all of my doubts, my questions.
Yamamoto paused hearing. I trusted his intelligence, he knew exactly what I meant.
He separated his gaze from mine and looked back up once again.
"Ever since I was born I have always excelled. It might seem arrogant but I have yet to find someone to match me. Whether it be academics or physical strength... I have never lost. I've never been able to truly make friends. Not when I know that they will never be able to reach my level."
His voice was soft and his words deeply pierced my heart. I had similar thoughts to him. I considered other people as lowly, thinking that they didn't have the same excellence as mine.
But I was simply arrogant while Yamamoto was telling the truth.
I was delusional and he was troubled.
"When I saw you I immediately knew that you were similar to me. Not in skills or talent of course but in life. You could say it was interesting to see someone who thought like me, though it was funny considering you didn't have the skills to back it up."
"Shut up!"
I retorted in embarrassment as my face heated up.
"Hahaha, see you're so cute. That's why I love you."
"Huh...? Wha—"
Saying that, he suddenly stood up and left while chuckling in amusement leaving me sitting on the bench, contemplative under the moonlit sky.
What did he mean by that...?
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