Romeo_Sebolao

LV 2
2024-09-07 Se unió Global
Insignias 2

Moments 1
Romeo_Sebolao
Romeo_Sebolao
2 months ago
Commented

1. You write nonsense, although I'd understand that English isn't your first language, I highly suggest you allow someone who knows English better to proof read this.2. The introduction is lacking and not so interesting.3. Grammar is incorrect and sentence construction is atrocious. Practice, download applications that will teach you correct grammar or watch videos.4. There's a lot of unnecessary information you added there, simple things that'd we'd automatically know even without you mentioning them for example: "he furiously slammed the door." automatically we know that the door was slammed harshly therfore it produced a loud "BANG!"5. Stop over describing let the reader have the free to use the little yet sufficient details or descriptions to freely imagine the events, the settings, the characters and so on. 5. Again, sentence construction, you wrote "Boring, boring, and boring" which is okak I guess but it sounds wrong especially with the punctuation you had used, it's supposed to be "Boring, boring, boring."