with pleasure
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Fantasy · rsl123
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Fantasy · rsl123
what's there to see?
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Fantasy · rsl123
why are you still this calm? THE DAMN BUILDING IS ABOUT TO COLLAPSE AND MANY WILL DIE
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Fantasy · rsl123
classic
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Fantasy · rsl123
bruh
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Fantasy · rsl123
Hmm, should separate thoughts from actions ngl
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Fantasy · rsl123
plot
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Fantasy · rsl123
shit, almost wrote a paragraph here
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Fantasy · rsl123
This chapter... seems rushed. The sentences that should be separated were yet again, actions and thoughts should be separated into different sentences. Not to mention, the pov doesn't really include all the things it should have, the emotion and awareness is missing, while including things that should be used in a 3rd person pov like the intensity of the pain, etc. Honestly, All in all, 4.9/10 for this one, sorry. That's all for now.
The Time's Unknown Loop
Fantasy · rsl123