Matrino2

Firstly heres a few things you should take note about your synopsis. Reason why I refuse to read it and mainly why others would too Grammar and clarity: * The sentence structure is awkward and grammatically incorrect in some places. * Sentences like "fortune is at one's fingertips, gambling altar king appears in the sky, romantic encounter comes one after another…" are vague and lack focus. * The parallel world concept isn't clearly introduced or connected to the protagonist's life. **Character descriptions:** * Xu Qing's description is generic and lacks personality traits. The "clairvoyance divine eye" sounds interesting, but we need to know how it affects him and his choices. * Qin Bing's description in the parallel world raises questions but doesn't explain how she connects to the main story. Is she an antagonist or another version of the sister-in-law? Intrigue and plot: * The synopsis mentions opportunities and superpowers, but it doesn't hint at the challenges or conflicts Xu Qing might face. What obstacles will he need to overcome? * The "gambling altar king" and "romantic encounters" seem like random elements thrown in without context. How do they fit into the main narrative? Overall: The synopsis lacks a clear direction and doesn't effectively hook the reader. It gives a confusing glimpse of the story without providing enough context or motivation to dive in. Here are some suggestions for improvement: * **Focus on the core conflict:** What is the main challenge or obstacle Xu Qing will face? Use the synopsis to introduce this conflict and show how the "clairvoyance divine eye" plays a role in it. Develop the characters: Briefly showcase Xu Qing's personality and motivations. How does the eye change him? Briefly hint at Qin Bing's connection to the story, without giving away too much. Use strong verbs and imagery: Replace vague phrases with specific details that evoke curiosity and excitement. By making these changes, you can create a synopsis that effectively grabs the reader's attention and leaves them wanting more.

What does africa have to do with this ?

Its definitely a well written book. The grammer, the plot and the characters show that you are working on this seriously. Continue writing ![img=update][img=recommend]

Thank you for the kind words. Im happy you like it !

Thank you for the kind words 😆

I'll be honest.....I didnt think it would be...THIS GOOD !!![img=update]. The characters feel so alive. You're a top notch writer for sure. Her gruesome death was hard to read 🙈