Majer3

Yea time is kind of limited sometimes. Thanks for comment on the storyline :)

DAAAARKKKK KK AHAAAHAHAHAHAA !!! Darkness arises!

Thanks, plotting will be very integral part of this story.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ -According to the synopsis it will be a spicy ride into comedy love story with BLU ROYAL CHEESE my friends the cheesiest cheese there is. -Hold up there is BL tag underneath, the drama just doubled, will the woman MC ever get it right or will someone else take the CEO and his money. We will find out in another episode just like in The Bold and the Beautiful what our grannies love to watch, and they hit you if you go in between television on their worship hour. So, if someone things romance comedy office social porn parody thing is a joke no, it’s not fun. Pretty far away from the fun. Its like 1.7 billion grandmothers on you if you do it wrong. -I klick the read and I can smell the cheese already/5 -Oh NO! The breakup day! That is da worse okay! You have to have at least 4 to 10 hours facial scrub mask and cucumbers on your eyes while you wollow one day in agonizing self-pity like martini without olive and on the next day in the first half an hour of the day you download tinder again and get to work while forgetting your piece of work ex completely, although crying about it in therapy for 4 years. Thats cheese with ravioli on top. -A woman who can’t clean her stuff/5. This princess is going to suffer I just know. Will we see the hit the wall period and regrets of not educating herself properly and other stuff. Oi joi joi. But reader do not worry, maybe the INHERITANCE can help year or two. (Hey your review is shit there is no inheritance* I thought to myself. But inheritance is like pinnacle of arbitrary cheesy social dick waving among the depsides relatives. Will we see this drama eventually in face slap style?) -I don't know is it a genre thing but why these dramas are written in 70-90% dialogue form? World building is therefore depended on it and its very narrow and if the activity is not very unique it really doesn't help the reader to stay focused. -Table of content is like manual if you hear it from the lips of your love you know it’s time to leave one day. Horror experience 5/5 victim game play, guilt trip, disappointment, such a indirect qualities. Luckily there are far more better women existing trustable, relatable, awkward and cute, odd habits but so kind heart you almost cry when they happily do some basic stuff somewhere around the house and the knot around the cynical heart gets a bit lose. Love women but sell the princesses to Poland to get Galleys.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Fate. (Fuck I hate that world really it always drops the agency and real choice, and things are thought in deterministic ideologies/religions/bs philosophies. Fate is the step uncle of laziness. Oh yea the story -Okay I get the point in synopsis but now synopsis doesn't really tell anything but cliche determination plot thing, albeit in kind of critical manner but still. The point of the synopsis is either info dump enough to advertise the whole world building, or invest reader to specific main character/s or offer some unique or very specific scenario that might interest people as a advertisement. It really has to motivate people to open your novel. Because of this reason I recommend re-writing it based on your world and actual setting. -Antihero genius, I hope this is done by not making everyone else stupid. -When you steal 95 imperial coins?? So what’s the value of it, could MC say that this won’t even buy me 1 week of food or something comparable. This is always very important when any number of coins or currencies are first introduced. -Damn the story flow is pretty decent, only thing I would want more is decent info dumping at some point but its good going. -Dialogue is practical, could write more feelings meta on it to flourish the characters acts. -Status window all details again, Ok good no status window spamming, this is probl most balanced use of it what I have seen for a long time. -If you use missions/quest keep them open enough not to create tunnel vision for all the activities of MC. More of advice at this point.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Ahhh proper morning tea in imperial style. What?? Tribes sects political boogaloo. Let see. -Light novel starts with the word mom/5. -In a strange world of battles and magical myth things and gods the world building starts with the parent and child discussion about the world. Is it the definition of the development or how MC will develop remains to be seen. Also talking with the children about THE LORD OF DARKNESS!!! 5/5 early pedagogics. -Best practice pedagogics continue in form of a ill thought suicide 5/5. Could of maybe written more reasons why any woman would be that stupid to kill herself because of some random scumbag ex. It really ads to the bad parenting genre and MC will grow mest up. -After this the world building becomes very thin and dialogue rules the writing almost entirely. -Dialogue technique could be better, there is mentions of opening door or some other things in passive form in brackets, you could check how these things are written in almost any fantasy book. -[phone disconnected] vrs "Mc Mac Mc looked at his phone from last century that his stupid parents that died had got him from the flea market. In irritation he saw that the phone was disconnected again, and he could not call to helpdesk because the phone was useless. Mc Mac Mc decided to stay inside whole day and eat ice cream instead. * Fuck it * Mc thought. (Albeit my example is some stupid shit I wrote while being tired at morning , the point is that you can drop all meta data of personal feelings and thoughts what people are having when something happens and not just passively use bracketed actions. Those are only used in mangas when they want to cover some space with text so there is less things to draw.

This following review has been published by Wise Entities Sect Academy (a writer community). https://wise-entities-padoga.webnode.page/sect-academia/ Okay I picked the one without children in synopsis I feel its the right choice now what Im still waking up. Ugh children.. -Deathly Alpha super gene immortality guy -He had forbidden love for himself/5 eeee what does it mean xDDD going ee solo?? -A woman who wants to kill immortal man. Is it impossible considering what was written just several rows before. Welll maybe she doesn't just know the details and she is just enjoying seeing people die. I don't judge. -World building explodes from the dark room. -No joke, this is really nice build up and information flow. -Dialogue is exceedingly well placed + feelings coming from it. -Okay now the quality of the story is basically up to the balance of the world and what medium and long arcs there will be. Also motives play part in this and side characters have to have some possibility than just being named plank tokens instead of a person. If all of this checks and this thing runs for several hundred chapters there might be veeeery good results.